Chronicles of Riddick

[Mockery]

So who's already seen it? If so, what'd you think?

"Vin Diesel makes you appreciate Schwarzenegger. When Arnold rattled off cheesy one-liners, it was effective. When Vin Diesel rattles off one-liners, it’s like watching the high school quarterback unsuccessfully try out for the school play in a bad after-school special."

Saw that in a review and it pretty much sums up my thoughts about Vin perfectly haha.

[AChimp]

The review in today's newspaper here called Riddick "Space Conan." :lol

[sspadowsky]

DON'T YOU MAKE FUN OF VIN. HE LIVES HIS LIFE A QUARTER-MILE AT A TIME. >:

[Emu]

I'm going to see it tonight with one of my friends who thinks Pitch Black should be a cult flick. :(

[Jixby Phillips]

they were previewing it last night at my theater, I could have stayed to watch. But I opted not to.

[ItalianStereotype]

I actually liked this movie. there were some potentially intriguing storylines that were never fully explored and Riddick is a bit underdeveloped for an "evil" character, but overall I found it to be an excellent action movie with an interesting premise.

of course, my view is probably a little biased since I fell in love with Escape from Butcher Bay.

[AChimp]

Yeah, I just got back from seeing it. It's actually pretty damn good for an action movie. It doesn't try to be good, and that's where it succeeds; the movie focuses on action rather than dialogue to move the plot along.

Plus Thandie Newton and Alexa Davalos are hot. :(

The end of the movie is also awesome. ;)

[ItalianStereotype]

yeah, the end is just about the last thing I expected...though in retrospect, I suppose I should have seen it coming.

[Esuohlim]

I got bored and my mind wandered a lot so I can only recall maybe seven or eight things that happened in the movie. The friends I saw it with all said it was good, but I honestly don't know if it was good or bad. To me it was just...there. :(

[AChimp]

The look on Vin's face at the end is priceless, too. :)

He's all like, "WTF."

[Royal Tenenbaum]

YOU SAW IT!? :lol Oh man, seriously, come on. I mean, come on.

[AChimp]

Yep. It's not artsy enough for you, though, and it doesn't span time. There's no sissy boy slap party (http://www.ifcfilms.com/?CAT0=3127&CAT1=5326&SHID=21403&VID=3903&CLR=red&BCLR=) in it, either, which I'm sure is a big disappointment. :(

[Emu]

My friends who saw Pitch Black thought it sucked, but my friends and I who hadn't thought it was pretty good. :( I liked the heat-seeking visor guys.

[ArrowX]

It was like the Scorpion King IN THE FURURE :eek

[ItalianStereotype]

wow. could you at least TRY not to suck?

[AChimp]

I doubt it. ArrowX seems to be happy with the fact that he's the biggest queer on I-Mockery. :(

Riddick would soooo leave him behind. >:

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Sissy Boy Slap Party is actually good, so, of course it's not in Riddick. I don't waste my time with that shit, and I'm saddened by the fact anyone actually would.

[AChimp]

Sissy Boy Slap Party is a steaming pile of shit, and so is Guy Madden.

[ArrowX]

So is the chronicles of riddic

[liquidstatik]

The movie was pretty good... i dont care for vin, though. It seems like everything he says he makes it sound corney. :/

[soundtest]

i saw it tonight and didn't think it was too bad. not great by any means, but entertaining for what it was. and i totally agree about the ending - i didn't expect it at all but should have seen it coming a mile away.

[huond]

i never even heard of this movie outside of this thread :(

[AChimp]

I have changed my mind about this movie. :(

It is quite possibly one of the best movies ever made. :tear

[GADZOOKS]

More Like The Chronicals of Riddculousness. This Taudry affair of over used scie fiction fo paws are driving me up a WALL. It is just a over budget mini-phenomean that keeps you in the back end of your seat.

I give it 2 out of 5 Royal Tennenbaums.



http://members.shaw.ca/achimp/royal.jpghttp://members.shaw.ca/achimp/royal.jpg

[subterfuge]

I dug it.

It was inconsistent, and they didn't follow through with any explanations of the underverse, but whatever. I go to watch vin's shiny head and action and sci fi violence. I don't go for plot.

I just wanted to know why the necro master was half dead and why did he get all the cool powers?

[ArrowX]

Because he hadn't BEEN to the undervese.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Sissy Boy Slap Party is a steaming pile of shit, and so is Guy Madden.

:lol

I might actually be offended if you knew anything, even remotely anything, about good movies.

[AChimp]

Sissy Boy Slap Party is not one of them.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

What is bad about Sissy Boy Slap Party? All I see is an original idea, done in a very funny way. Are you threatened by the slapping? The fact the director is from our city only makes it cooler in my opinion, but, still, it's a quality short, comedy film. Madden's newest feature, Saddest Music in the World, is also excellent and has been reviewed very well. So, go see that instead of your overtly homoerotic action films that everyone knows are complete shit.

[AChimp]

Sissy Boy Slap Party is devoid of any substance. It has no value. It's only purpose is to be wierd and different for the sake of being weird and different.

It's as if the director stood up and said, "Look at the piece of shit that I can make, that you will all think is great, because I am calling it ART. I filmed it on a camera I found at a garage sale to symbolize the fact that you all suck. Don't forget to enter the contest in the lobby to win some of my used toilet paper."

It's funny that you criticize the action movies that I usually enjoy as "overtly homoerotic," and then place something like Sissy Boy Slap Party on a pedestal. So what, homoeroticism (OMG, Vin's head is like a penis! :O ) in Hollywood movies is bad, but when a nobody director makes a homoerotic art film, that makes it good?

[Supafly345]

This movie looks terrible. Most people will love it.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"Sissy Boy Slap Party is devoid of any substance. It has no value. It's only purpose is to be wierd and different for the sake of being weird and different."

Well, that's very untrue. It has value becuase it does illicit a response from the viewer, such as a response of "this is funny" from me and "this is useless and I'd rather jack-off to Vin Diesel" from you. Just the fact we are discussing the film, and it's merit or lack there off, shows I find value in it. One man's treasure is another man's gold as the saying goes, it just so happens your treasure is a banal, cliche action film whereas mine is a original, albeit silly, comedy film.

[AChimp]

It is not a comedy, but it is a joke; a joke that the director has played on all of you that measure the contrast level between frames and pat each other on the back for making grainy VHS bootlegs of cinematics turds from the past.

The old man goes off to buy condoms to symbolize that the film is sodomizing your intellect and your taste.

[Pub Lover]

You are such a fag, SnakeASS. :lol

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Ha, yes, that is exactly what it is, Achimp. :rolleyes Seriously, how could someone that has an appreciation for silly-as-fuck comedy, which is what Sissy Boy Slap Party is, be such an ignorant douche on the issue. I guess when the film could be interpreted as "art" by some it is too threatening for you. I mean, how fucking important is a short piece of a surrealistic, irreverent film? It just is what it is, doesn't take itself fucking serious, and has some fun. You, on the other hand, must have a splintering stick up your ass whilst it is playing. :/

[AChimp]

How is it threatening me? Does it jump out of the screen and threaten to beat me with a stick? Ooh, you're referring to the "content," which consists solely of a solid four minutes of shirtless men slapping each other. I'm not threatened by it in the least; I think it's completely retarded and pointless, though.

You're fond of saying that the LoTR trilogy is "too long," well that's exactly what Sissy Boy Slap Party is. In fact, it's 3:30 minutes too long. Any point that the director was trying to make could have been accomplished in 30 seconds of slapping. In the end it becomes repetitive, boring and a complete farce of the indie film industry: "I will make shit, the film elitists will claim to love it and they will give me money." A classic example of the emperor's new clothes manifesting in the real world.

I'd be willing to bet that taxpayers' money contributed in some way to the making of Sissy Boy Slap Party - albeit through grants or subsidies to local crews - which is a tragedy, plain and simple.

It just is what it is, doesn't take itself fucking serious, and has some fun.
Which is exactly what Chronicles of Riddick is. I've already stated that it doesn't pretend to be good. It only relies on action to move the plot forward, not the inner monologues and soliloquies that you seem to think are required in an action film in order to make it "good." In the end it succeeds at being entertaining because it doesn't pretend to be something that it isn't.

To be truly good, it would need Van Damme. :posh

[Anonymous]

It has value becuase it does illicit a response from the viewer, such as a response of "this is funny" from me and "this is useless and I'd rather jack-off to Vin Diesel" from you. Just the fact we are discussing the film, and it's merit or lack there off, shows I find value in it.

So you value every movie that we've discussed on the boards, simply because they've been discussed and people have opinions about them?

[Anonymous]

Royal, are you aware that the One And Only is stealing your gimmick of being a moron that thinks he is the debate champion of the world?

[Anonymous]

Saw this last night. Some of the effects were pretty good, then some were downright awful and looked like Diesel himself got a hacked copy of Bryce and made some scary cats in it.

Though the bad CG sort of makes it feel like you're watching an early 90s action movie like Total Recall, which might have been what the director was going for with that crap. Diesel's great, and for some reason has the exact same diving punch that warriors such as Achilles and Johnny Cage also share. Arnold's one-liners worked because he was a badass but was being funny. Diesel's one-liners usually fall flat because he's a somewhat non-threatening guy trying to be a badass. I don't get why the director thought humorous lines should be carried out in the same fashion as telling someone their dad just died.

[sports]

To be truly good, it would need Van Damme.
:posh


Who's currently making his comeback film ''Kumite''. It's a bloodsport 5, except he's playing a different character in it.

[executioneer]

vin diesal more like steven seagal lol