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Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 02:39 AM
So, two old people are in a Nursing home, and the man tells the lady, "It's my birthday today. I bet you can't guess how old I am." Then the old lady says, "I bet I can. Drop your trousers." So the old man pulls down his pants and the old lady starts to feel and grop him, then after a few minutes she says, "You are 89." The old man replies, "Wow, how did you know that?" Then the woman says, "You told me yesterday."

Deer Berry
Sep 3rd, 2004, 02:46 AM
LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMFG LMFAO WHAT A SICK OLD LADY :lol

Spectre X
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:25 AM
That wasn't funny at all. In fact it was quite the opposite of funny, that being unfunny.

executioneer
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:30 AM
i'm pretty sure that JOKE is 89 years old

Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:32 AM
I thought it was funny :( I guess it's only funny on last comic standing. Ah, who the heck am I kidding, Spectre X never has anything nice to say. Even his avatar is mean.

executioneer
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:34 AM
i'm pretty sure i read that joke in one of my dad's old playboys about 12 years ago, seriously

Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:36 AM
Hmm, cuz it was on Last Comic Standing last night as I mentioned earlier, and I almost suffocated when I heard it :lol

executioneer
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:38 AM
WELL THE LAST COMICS STANDING HAVE SOME 'SPLAINING TO DO THEN

Jixby Phillips
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:54 AM
Jesus fucking cunt, you repeat jokes from LAST COMIC STANDING. You don't just WATCH Last Comic Standing, but you try to pass off material from it as your own. FUCK. You're like, the worst.

YOU ARE SO STUPID IT MAKES ME STUPID. FUCK OFF.

Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 03:57 AM
I didn't try to pass it off as my own, you dipstick. I said "It was on last comic standing last night." STOP HATING ME CRAZY TOAST MAN :(

Jixby Phillips
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:03 AM
CRAZY TOAST MAN. HA HA HA. YOU ARE BEING BUDDY BUDDY WITH ME LIKE WE ARE BUDS OR SOMETHING. ISN'T THAT NICE. You remind me of BAD MR FROSTY, who did the same shit, treated people like they were what their avatar was. Are you going to sign Mr. Mockery's yearbook by saying "It would be great to have Mr. Mockery in heaven!" and insist everybody "Stay Cool!" everytime you leave the boards? PS BEFORE YOU SAY "WHOS BAD MR FROSTY" PLEASE USE COMMON SENSE AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT THAT PERHAPS I'M TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY YOU DONT KNOW AND THESE REFERENCES I'M MAKING KIND OF EXPLAIN THEMSELVES OKAY THATNKS

Jixby Phillips
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:05 AM
GUYS remember when Bad Mr. Frosty left the boards and he made a new topic in every forum and was like "goodbye ravers," "good bye ska-fans!" etc then the got to like Loveline and was like "goodbye, lovers" "goodbye philosophers" "good bye buyers/sellers" :lol

Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:06 AM
Wow, you are a mean son of a bitch :(
And I know who Bad Mr. Frosty is, I have read his Game reviews, he seems like an ok guy :(

Jixby Phillips
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:07 AM
omg you're him :eek

Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:11 AM
Um, does my name SAY Bad Mr Frosty? Cunt :(

Dole
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:34 AM
and I almost suffocated when I heard it

So close...

mubert
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:35 AM
I thought the daily show tonight was funny, cause of that one sentaor zell guy, he seriously verbally bitchslapped chris matthews from the republic national convention. what a crazy motherfucker.

Jixby Phillips
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:45 AM
Okay

mubert
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:47 AM
Yeah, I suppose that was kinda off topic.

Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:50 AM
No, I liked where it was going :) Btw cool 3D sombrero.

mubert
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:51 AM
Yes, I hate mexicans, but I like their hats.

Father §p@z
Sep 3rd, 2004, 04:53 AM
:lol Well, it's not really 3D, more like flash I guess.

DeadKennedys
Sep 3rd, 2004, 07:08 AM
Are you going to sign Mr. Mockery's yearbook by saying "It would be great to have Mr. Mockery in heaven!" and insist everybody "Stay Cool!" everytime you leave the boards?

DON'T FORGET H.A.G.S

FS
Sep 3rd, 2004, 07:50 AM
I just love when you're in a message board arguement with someone and they suddenly say "who's that in your avatar" or just compliment you on it. It's like you're having an arguement in real life and the other person suddenly asks you what your favorite movie is.

whoreable
Sep 3rd, 2004, 08:39 AM
i think bill and teds bogus journey is a great movie

FartinMowler
Sep 3rd, 2004, 08:46 AM
I like the movie The pricess bride :) I say "as you wish" to my wife when she askes me to do shit :/

bigtimecow
Sep 3rd, 2004, 10:49 AM
did you hear the one about the two polish guys that went hunting? yeah, 2 polish guys leave with 3 dogs... they come back an hour later. FOR MORE DOGS.


("they shot 'em you fuckin' idiot.")

Jes22
Sep 3rd, 2004, 11:21 AM
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house..The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to consider buying it if the price was right....

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

...including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????

:moon