On a completely unrelated note...

[The One and Only...]

Removed for security reasons.

[Big McLargehuge]

She doesn't like you, move on before it is too late.

[The One and Only...]

I'm just curious as to how you're inferring that.

Then again, me asking people on I-Mock for serious advice is about as sound as asking Marissa and Cortney what my chances with this girl are...

[Big McLargehuge]

.
Lauren: oh sorry...yeah i don't really think so...i mean its still early to tell i'm more of a last minute person
(translation= NO)

OAO3405: Yeah, a lot of times I am too.
(Translation= IM COOL TOO)

OAO3405: It still puzzles me that you don't have a boyfriend. Can't you get pretty much whoever you want?
(Translation=Please love me)

Lauren: haha aw that's sweet...but i dont' think it really works that way, though it would be nice if it did
(Translation= YOU ARE A FUCKING CREEP)

OAO3405: If you say so. Lemme guess, haven't found the right guy?
(Translation= PLEASE PLEASE LOVE ME)

Lauren: yeah i dont' know...maybe....but i'm really focused on my grades right now
(Translation= NO)

OAO3405: Ah... I see.
OAO3405: Well, I think I better get offline... I've got a headache that's been killing me for an hour anyways. Later.
(Translation= IM TOO COOL FOR YOU TOO)

Lauren: alright well i'll talk to you later...hope you feel better...bye!
(Translation= JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY)


You are still young, just don't think about it and someday you will get it. And subsequently shoot yourself.

[The One and Only...]

You do realize that we are pretty friendly towards one another, right?

Fucktard.

[adept_ninja]

no he is right. She isnt into you, you can tell

[Big McLargehuge]

Hey man, i am just trying to help no need to call me names, but hey at least this girl can type in complete sentences. Your sicko little obsessions are starting to get directed at semi-intelligent people.

For some honest advice, sit back, relax. You are in highschool, smoke a joint with your friends, go out and have a beer. Don't think about it and this shit will work itself out. You can't expect to go straight from no human contact to Rico Suave in a matter of weeks. Get to know people and you will finally figure them out. It will blow your fucking mind. Take my word, i used to be almost as pathetic as you.

[Lotida]

I have to admit that Big Mclarge pretty much summed up that conversation OAO. I don't think she is into you....sorry. Don't kill yourself though.

You do come across as a bit of a stalker personality.

[The One and Only...]

Stalker? How?

I asked for the girl's s/n in person; she gave it to me. It's not as if I tracked it down from another source.

[CLICK9]

From a girl's perspective, she doesn't like you romantically. She thinks you're a nice person, but doesn't want to seem mean by rejecting you outright. She would have said, "sure, let's hang out!" if she wanted to. Sorry. :(

[MLE]

OAO3405: I was just wondering if you were doing anything special over the weekend. The reason I'm asking is because you signed off right after I sent it... I figured your connection screwed up or something.

First off, saying 'special' in there tells her you like her. In that way.

OAO3405: So... are you?
Lauren: oh really? i'm sorry....when did you send that? today?

If she was in any way interested, she would have responded here already.

OAO3405: I'm more interested in your answer to my question.
Lauren: oh sorry...yeah i don't really think so...i mean its still early to tell i'm more of a last minute person

Or here. If you actually read what she said, she said she didn't plan on having plans yet.

OAO3405: Yeah, a lot of times I am too.
OAO3405: It still puzzles me that you don't have a boyfriend. Can't you get pretty much whoever you want?

This is a dead giveaway. She now no longer has a sneaking suspicion that you like her. This is a huge flashing red light.

Lauren: haha aw that's sweet...but i dont' think it really works that way, though it would be nice if it did

She doesn't want to hurt your feelings which is why she's sugarcoating it, but she really doesn't like you like that. This is your wake-up call (even though you won't take it). If you stop now, you may be able to save face and keep your friendship with her.

OAO3405: If you say so. Lemme guess, haven't found the right guy?
Lauren: yeah i dont' know...maybe....but i'm really focused on my grades right now

You should have left it at the last one, and now you're actually starting to invade her personal space.

Lauren: alright well i'll talk to you later...hope you feel better...bye!

This means that no, she doesn't want to hop in bed with you because she's concerned about your headache. She is still willing to be friends with you, but if you pull off more of these moves, that'll change.
At least you left it here. You still have a chance at having a friend.

[Lotida]

Good Advice for you to take OAO!

[MLE]

He probably won't take it.

[CaptainBubba]

No, seriously OAO. You cannot talk to girls like that. Jesus fucking christ.

You are far too direct and not at all charming or charismatic. You have the same linguisitc skills as Bonzi Buddy. You have the physical appearance of a guy who cries when engaged in confrontation. You have no sense of humor or social behaviors. Talking to girls while you're still in your faux-intelectual phase is just going to make you cringe when you look back on it in oh, say, 3 years. Just play video games. Its safer and Noone will judge you.

Except all of us, but thats just because we already know what a fat socially inept quasi-autistic ass you are.

[AChimp]

HI LADIES. I'M OAO. I'M A DASHING SWORDSMAN. WANT TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

:lol

[GADZOOKS]

Just wondering OAO, did ANY of these conversations have her IMing you.

[Rongi]

remember that episode of family guy when the griffins have to move down south to get away from a serial killer? well there was this one part were chris is at a birthday party of this girl he has a crush on. and she kind of likes him too, but chris comes off as an extremely awkward teenager. at one point chris accidently sprays perfume into her eyes because he was trying to be charming. OAO, that conversation you had with lauren was so much like that episode it's frightening.

[MLE]

i remember that :lol

[Schimid]

maccubbin <3 <3 <3

OAO, chill out with the girlfriend stuff. It isn't going to happen until you leave it alone, and even then it's a longshot. For you.

[HickMan]

Just ask her until she says yes. Then you will realize she is a waste of time. Plus, she'll think you're a stalker dude.

[Rongi]

I shall use my psychic powers to see into OAO's pathetic future

OAO is going to work in a porno when he's in his 20s. he wont actually work, he'll sit in the back room and masturbate to the covers until on his 6th or 7th time the orgasm he has will be so miniscule he'll actually go up to the counter and pretend to do something. he will get a girlfriend, but the two will become so bored of eachother that they eventually part. he will lose his virginity to her, but it will happen so fast he wont even remember it and will exaggerate it to his buddies on other forums but they wont even really listien. OAO will fall into a heavy drug addiction resulting in his death sprawled across a piss stained rug gasping for breath with his shirt ripped open revealing his massive stomach. it will be a closed casket funeral and his mother and maybe his father will show up. depends on if his father can get up out of bed or not.

[The One and Only...]

Fuckers, I've already taken your advice.

I'm done with this whole puss-ass phase, anyway. I really need to get back to obscure politics, multisyllable words, extreme variants of metal/hardcore, fencing, guns, and roleplaying.

[Rongi]

porno store, not a porno

[The One and Only...]

Oh yeah, plus the chess and academic teams require a lot of my time.

[Big McLargehuge]

wait, why can't you get laid?

[Anonymous]

I really need to get back to obscure politics, multisyllable words, extreme variants of metal/hardcore, fencing, guns, and roleplaying.

Polysyllabic words. Like "polysyllabic."

[Anonymous]

That's funny and all, but in that quote i thought he had said 'extreme variants of fencing' and it made me laugh

[The One and Only...]

wait, why can't you get laid?

Funny, but most of these girls don't even know that I'm on the chess or academic teams.

[Big McLargehuge]

well thats why, flaunt that shit baby

[The One and Only...]

Right.

Should I say I'm sorry for the awkward conversation, or would that just bring more attention to it?

[Helm]

Hey OAO, we're friends now, right? Ok.

The biggest clue when she said that she's more focused on her grades. Who is more interested in their grades than they are in sexing up a compatible partner? It doesn't take that much time. You can still study, ok? If really really really pressed for time you can study with a penis in you TRUST ME I'VE TRIED IT I ATE IT IN SMALL DOSES So, she's basically telling you no. EN-OH: fuck off. MLE explained that right.

I for one, think being direct is a good idea. But you weren't being direct, buddy, you were being overbearing and round-about like an eih-hole, sorry to say. Direct is 'I like you. Does the prospect of spending time with me strike you as anything than completely horrible? Yes? Cool. I have a large penis (THE ONLY way for this line to work is if you say it really quietly and streamed right into the sentence before it, TRUST ME I JERK OFF TWICE A DAY). No? Ok, sorry if I bothered you. ) it's not 'would you like to spend time with me? Would you like to spend time with me? Would you like to spend time with me? Time with me? Headache!"

I don't agree that social games are a good idea, and I don't agree with trying to make a small deal out of something that's important to you, but you're severily lacking in laying out what is basically a good idea. Being direct. Dee-erect, little man! It's all about offence being the best defense. In order for your rod to be a-trusted, you have to learn a few things:

Advice: stop caring if people turn you down. It's going to happen a few times, so just get used to that not everybody will be interested in your gigantic penis, TRUST ME IT'S A LOT TO SWALLOW DOWN Move on in a FLASH. I explain the tactic of karma redirectionI had this uncle that did this 50 years ago: on a social gathering amongst students, there was this song playing, and my uncle who had been making eye-contact with this girl from across the room all night, decided to go up to her to ask her to dance. Ok. Big thing, right? You know how it is. TRUST ME IT TAKES BALLS TO TANGO. Now pay attention, they were 15? I mean, there were more in the room haha what sort of lame-ass party would it be only 15 people it would be a real social reject if only 15 people showed up, including the stuffed animals that you have named ok ss-So he puts on his best smile and starts going her way. About midway, he caught her doing this small snide-laugh and looking sideways at her girlfriends like oh-oh time to shoot a bird down and by bird I mean BIG DICK TRUST ME I EAT PEPPER. My uncle seamlessly swiftly redirects slightly to the left and aims towards a group of male aquaintances. He goes over to them and strikes up conversation like nothing's wrong in the wazoo. The smile never left his face. He didn't break his stride. Not a crease on his pressed pants, if you know what I mean, old buddy. Suddenly this person in the group of chatting aquaintances chokes up on his punch (haha I mean the drink not an actual fist that would be WACKY) and throws up all over his pants and leaves the party crying. Karma redirection, man. Always works. TRUST ME I'M BUDDHIST. My uncle knew how to handle rejection, dude. So he waits up in the parking lot and when she comes out he sneaks up to her and brutally rapes her penis (long story).

See? THAT'S how you handle business. Rape her. Rape solves everything.


Anyway, if you need any more heart-to-hearts, just not ask. I'm there for you, little budda. Remember. KARMA REDICECTION. Always works. I'm pointing both my thumbs at the screen right now and I'm arching my eye-brows. Always works. A-TRUST ME I'M A SATANIST.

[The One and Only...]

That wasn't funny.

And I got the idea that she doesn't like me.

I was asking if I should say sorry so that a friendship becomes more likely.

But it's too late, cause I already did.

[AChimp]

You are such a putz.

[MLE]

learn to never think about sex or women. it will help you get through the next few years without having people trample over you.

[adept_ninja]

One word of advice to you. When you do hook up with a women god tell her such things as
I really need to get back to obscure politics, multisyllable words, extreme variants of metal/hardcore, fencing, guns, and roleplaying.
till later when you two are comfortable with each other, trust me on this one

[adept_ninja]

edit: dont^

[McMock]

Shut up adept_ninja

[kellychaos]

wait, why can't you get laid?

I really need to get back to obscure politics, multisyllable words, extreme variants of metal/hardcore, fencing, guns, and roleplaying.

[MetalMilitia]

wait, why can't you get laid?

I really need to get back to obscure politics, multisyllable words, extreme variants of metal/hardcore, fencing, guns, and roleplaying.


:lol :lol

[ziggytrix]

Quit fagging up this thread you two. >:

[MetalMilitia]

you first.

[mischief]

seriously, stop it! >:

ladiez love da cock

[mischief]

EDIT: OAO's cock

[Perndog]

Talking to girls while you're still in your faux-intelectual phase is just going to make you cringe when you look back on it in oh, say, 3 years. Just play video games. Its safer and Noone will judge you.

:(

That was me when I was 14.

Okay, when I was 17.

I'm so glad I didn't post any of those IM conversations online.

[The One and Only...]

Especially when people find out you did so.

[HickMan]

Yeah, bad move buddy.

OAO, quit being such a smarty pants, know it all, I'm defintely smarter then you, Looke at my big penis it's bigger then that guy who plays football personality. Girls find that gay. Look at me, I'm as dumb as a box of rocks and my penis is just average. The ladies go wild

[kellychaos]

OAO's at a time of his pre-pubescent life that his blood is rushing from his gigundous brain to his gigundous cock leaving his utterly incapable of rational thought.

[The One and Only...]

GOD DAMN...

I'm really not sure how I'm going to able to sustain a friendship with this girl without hitting on her... it's going to be challenging.

[kellychaos]

If she wanted the seks, the word "friend" never would have entered into conversation. That's all you're gettin' fella ... well, that and an endless series of stories about other guys whom she's bangin'. That's what you're in for. Take it or leave it. Just sayin'

[The One and Only...]

She hasn't called me her friend, nor have I called her mine.

I'm just going with what you guys have suggested.

[MetalMilitia]

I'm just going with what you guys have suggested.

Holy shit! are you insane?!

[Brandon]

I'm really not sure how I'm going to able to sustain a friendship with this girl without hitting on her... it's going to be challenging.
Just out of curiosity, how will you go about "hitting on her" if it ever comes to that?

[Perndog]

He'll slap her with his wang.

[FS]

I'm really not sure how I'm going to able to sustain a friendship with this girl without hitting on her... it's going to be challenging.
Just out of curiosity, how will you go about "hitting on her" if it ever comes to that?

Probably making suave remarks like "Are you doing anything special next weekend? Answer the question."

[the_dudefather]

or get in ze horseless carrage

[The One and Only...]

Just out of curiosity, how will you go about "hitting on her" if it ever comes to that?

Well, like I did last night.

Basically I got into a conversation with her, and when I said I had to leave soon, I said that I had to tell her she looked really good, but not to take that in any way than would make her feel uncomfortable.

So then she said aww thanks Jack and that she'll talk to me today since I'm signing off.

Basically, I figure I have to take it slow. She's being incredibly friendly and receptive despite my obvious advances, but she isn't being bitchy and mean, nor does she seem like someone who would be that way. I think I can work it out.

[CaptainBubba]

You are really really fucking creepy when you talk about girls. Did you know that?

[Matt Harty]

Just out of curiosity, how will you go about "hitting on her" if it ever comes to that?

Well, like I did last night.

Basically I got into a conversation with her, and when I said I had to leave soon, I said that I had to tell her she looked really good, but not to take that in any way than would make her feel uncomfortable.

So then she said aww thanks Jack and that she'll talk to me today since I'm signing off.

Basically, I figure I have to take it slow. She's being incredibly friendly and receptive despite my obvious advances, but she isn't being bitchy and mean, nor does she seem like someone who would be that way. I think I can work it out.

Has she told you that you look good?

[adept_ninja]

I honestly think that if you took that serial rapist/murder test you would score at least a 8 out of 15. Dohmer scored like a 12 :/

P.S: do you like hitting animals with your sword or playing with roadkill?

[Anonymous]

Guys girls are just like the dating games, where you just have to slip in compliments and get receptive answers, because that means that you're scoring points. When you get up to 30 points, you can then ask for a date without being turned down, and the point mount exponentially from there, up to 100 which I don't think I even have to explain am I right guys

[FS]

Creepy Geek #2, what would you do if we were on a romantic cruise and a big burly guy came up to us and started hitting on me?

[kellychaos]

Keep wearing her down. It's working.