MODERN DAY FAIRY TALES (ADD YOURS)

[GADZOOKS]

Once upon a time, our young, well not so young, modestly young...old, but not completely old, not middle aged old, but still not a child, hero has made his way to the lavatory to relieve some much needed relieving. As he approached the fixture ready to urinate, he pulled the seat up. Unfortunatley, this man he did not know his own strength and the seat hit the back of the toilet and bounced back and stayed at a 75 degree angle. Thinking nothing of it, the hero proceed to do his pissings. Before he could finish, the not aligned toliet seat surrendered to the powers of gravity and fell to it's resting position, smacking our hero's pee right back onto his person. Even though splattered with his tinkle he continued to pee with the toliet seat down. Like a true hero, never stopping in a middle of a mission.

Fin

[The Damp Moose]

So one time I was wondering what it would feel like if I taped my penis to a tampon and then put the tampon in my butt.

[Schimid]

Man, whatever. I still run up the steps at night if I get a drink downstairs.

[GADZOOKS]

In fairy tale form, please, or it will be ignored.

In fact, don't even bother with that, just shutup. (damp moose)

[The Damp Moose]

k w/e ;)

[Matt Harty]

Wait until Kellychaos finds this.

[MetalMilitia]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/176659.9/fairytale.gif

[EisigerBiskuit]

Haha, handsome prince. :)

[The Damp Moose]

So I don't THINK I can get TSS if I just do it once in a while. I mean, I don't even use super-absorbant 'pons.

[Schimid]

That's the weirdest looking 'S' I've ever seen.

[MetalMilitia]

[center:acb7f762cf]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/176659.9/fairytale2.gif[/center:acb7f762cf]

[executioneer]

thats how the letter s used to be drawn lol

[MetalMilitia]

People in the 16th century where idiots. >:

[EisigerBiskuit]

Well, yeah, english today was made by peasants who wanted their own language in the 1400's.

[Esuohlim]

stfu

[Luchatein]

FACT: The "tall s" was used until the beginning of the 19th century.

[pjalne]

They use a font like that in my local newspaper, making it look like it's called 'Romsdals Budfitte'.

Which roughly translates to 'Romvalley pussygram'.

[King Hadas]

Once upon a time in a land far, far away a boy...no a MAN went on a long and perilous journey to the mysteries and legendary Burger King wanting nothing more than something to eat and maybe some fren... no FREEDOM FRIES but in a cruel twist of fate he instead was cursed with onion rings instead of the fabled freedom fries, of course being the man that he was he ate the onion rings without complent and entered his four legged metallic beast known in those days simple as an Automobile. As he bravely rode his Automobile across the baron wastelands of the State of Washington a sudden conflict emerged from within is bowels. The onion rings had betrayed the magnificent man's innards and the only way to end the agonizing battle was to release his tormenter through his benevolent bottom. Unfortunately the deadly vapor released from within had no way of escaping the man's Automobile and soon his four legged friend had metamorphosed from a gentle giant to a....A MOVING GAS CHAMBER OF DEATH time was most defiantly not on this righteous man's side. He begain to move the four legged monstrosity at such alarming speeds that the fiendish atmosphere surronding him had almost became insignificant to the brutal crushing of his brittle bones, but in an astonishing turn of events he arrived at his glorious castle still in tacked. He quickly escaped the Automobiles foul stench and swiftly moved to his quarters to sleep, thanking god he was still of the living. Morning eventually arrived and the man had to go do his labors, but when he reached his Automobile he found an old foe waiting patiantly for a final duel. Although the man still lives to this day he refuses to tell the tale of his survival. What happened that day will remain a mystery to everyone but that one man, and that man's name was, is and always has been.....
Willie

the end or is it?

[hix1122]

So one time I was wondering what it would feel like if I taped my penis to a tampon and then put the tampon in my butt.


Shut your fucking mouth!

[King Hadas]

It took you 13 days to work up the courage to say that, fag.

[the_dudefather]

Once upon a tyme, a young raggamuffin by the name of Dudefather went to his local LiDL market where he discovered a box of 3 dilicious salami pizzas for £1.50. at prices this low he couldnt resist.

for weeks and weeks he feasted on the succulent pizza meats, and since the price was right, there was no point buying or making any other food.

come autumn-tyme however, he died of heart disease and a severe pizza related tumor.


The End

ye moral be: pizza rocks.

[The Damp Moose]

Do you dirty foreigners get a "£" on your 4 key instead of a "$" or what?

[the_dudefather]

our 3 key is a £ and 4 is a $. some fancy keyboards also have the euro symbol somewhere i believe

[The Damp Moose]

If your three has that, then where do you keep your #?

[MetalMilitia]

on the # key, which has the secondary function of ~.

[xenosoul]

One day a man that looked kinda like me decided he should go into work this day. When he got to work he couldnt decide what he was going to do on the internet; cause thats all he does. At first he decided to visit kontraband.com to play some flash games, then he thought of hitler for a moment and his mind was made up, he would look at photographs of hitler because this is intresting to him. After looking at about 10 pictures of hitler he started reading up on eva braun(hitlers love) and did you know what i found out? They died together taking poison. After this I had made up my mind, the time had come to sneak a smoke in the bathroom where i usually do every 2 hours. After doing so I went to the vending machines where i saw some of those tgi fridays chips bunched up.. and I thought I would take a chance and maybe secure both of them with one payment, but the risk was too much and I went with a take 5 which really tasted of the nasty. Now It is close to closing time and I am about to leave work so that I may return tommorow. the end