Help me

[Dixie]

I need to quit smoking. I've tried before and did terribly and I need help. No dick sucking jokes and oral fixation jokes or I'll bust ya one right in the nose. Come on, someone here has got to be a loser like me, there are tons of people even more pathetic than me on here.

[Matt Harty]

Try hypnosis.

[McClain]

Talk to sspad. He quit. At least last I checked he did. But we'll see how tough he is when I'm blowing smoke in his face!

[Dixie]

Ok let me elaborate. Without spending money. I'm trying to just not buy anymore and going "cold turkey" (I hate that phrase). I can't use gum, patches or any of that shit. It's been 2 days so far and I'm wearing down.

[dreaddi]

quit hanging around with smokers as much as possible, otherwise you'll always be thinking "I'll just bum one more off my friend".

[McClain]

Ok let me elaborate. Without spending money. I'm trying to just not buy anymore and going "cold turkey" (I hate that phrase). I can't use gum, patches or any of that shit. It's been 2 days so far and I'm wearing down.

You'll feel better tomorrow. I'd suggest giving your body a different stimulant for balance. Drink some coffee or Mountain Dew for the next couple days.

[Dixie]

GAHHH NOOOO! Caffiene is bad for me, I can't have it. God I'm sickly. I'm actually not to have caffiene, I drink only water and I eat very healthy. Smoking is my only bad habit, maybe some green tea might work. You're a darling McClain! And dreddi all I know are smokers, you give bad advice, burn in Hell.

[RedLeader01]

Try killing yourself, that will keep you from smoking.

[mburbank]

Oh, good one, Red Leader, make a joke about suicide on a board devoted to Mockery, like that's not just begging for an ass kicking.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Try killing yourself, that will keep you from smoking.

You retarded bastard, why don't you shut the fuck up?

[Dixie]

Try killing yourself, that will keep you from smoking.
Up your nose with a rubber hose, if I killed myself then I wouldn't be able to pimp your mom out at the old folks home. No one likes you.

[sspadowsky]

I still smoke, McClain :fu, but not nearly as much as I used to. :( I'll go anywhere from a couple of days to a week without smoking at all, depending on my mood.

CIG (<-- :lol ), do some exercise. Anything that makes you winded will tend to make you want to not smoke. And don't just drink water. Drink shitloads of water. Like, at least a gallon a day. You'll be surprised how much better you feel.

[Dixie]

Yeah yeah I know what my name spells ironically. It sounds like I'm on the right track but I just figured there was something I could do other than everything else (which I already do it seems) to lessen my irritability and fidgetyness. Midol seems to work once a month, lemme give it another try. Thanks yall.

[RedLeader01]

You guys take things WAY to seriously! For the idiot that started this useless thread, you came to a "We Mock You!" web site asking for quit smoking advice? Boy are you dumb. It's an open invitation for us to make fun of you!

[King Hadas]

Remove as much stress from your life as possible. My uncle quit smoking by locking himself up in his house for two weeks, quit cold turkey but my uncle was unemployed so I'm not sure you can do that.

[Dixie]

Duh Buttcocky, if what you had said actually bothered me do you think I'd bother to respond to you? If someone here annoys me I typically don't even bother with them. Apparently YOU take it too seriously. But seriously guyz, I am trying to become a functioning member of the New Order where cigarettes are illegal. Thank you.

[RedLeader01]

Get a jar and put a dollar bill in it everytime you have have a smoke. If you can't afford it, then don't smoke. Gradually you'll need less and less since it will cost $1 ever time you light up. Eventually you'll stop smoking, than have a jar full on money to go celebrate with! :)

[Dixie]

See that wasn't so hard. And now I say "thank you" to you too for contributing to something worthwhile, my health.

[MetalMilitia]

Im trying to give up too.
The way im doing it is to not smoke all week then have mabey 1 or 2 at the most on saturday as a reward for not smoking the rest of the week.
Then hopefully in a while il be able to give up at the weekend too and never smoke again.... well thats the plan anyway.


Try killing yourself, that will keep you from smoking.

UNLESS YOU GET CREMATED! :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :(

[Cosmo Electrolux]

exercise. You're a lot less likely to start smoking again if you exercise. Also, like Sspad said, drink shitloads of water....

[mischief]

sspad i had faith in you! how could you break my heart like that? :(

[Dixie]

MetalMilitia will be my Quit Buddy. If he smokes I get to spank him. If I smoke he gets to spank me.

[MetalMilitia]

I accidentally smoked yesterday :(

[sspadowsky]

MetalMilitia will be my Quit Buddy. If he smokes I get to spank him. If I smoke he gets to spank me.

That doesn't sound like punishment.

P.S.- That was an ironic " :lol " I know it was a stupid joke.

[Dixie]

I accidentally smoked yesterday
When I get to the UK, your sweet ass is mine.

[MetalMilitia]

:chatter

Im very fragile.

[Dixie]

I'll fix that.

[kellychaos]

Just getting up, after eating and after drinking alcohol were the weakest moments for me when I quit. If you can keep yourself strong shortly after those moments, most of the rest of the day is a little bit easier if you keep yourself busy.

[Sethomas]

Become religious, then give up smoking for Lent. It's amazing what the force of will can do when it has a divine guilt complex fueling it.

[Big McLargehuge]

Don't go cold turkey, it doesn't work. Ween yourself, and a trick my friend taught me, if you are around your friends and they are smoking just hold a ciggarette in your hand but don't light it. The urge to smoke goes almost completely away, if you need to light it after a while it is ok but you will find yourself smoking alot less and maybe even putting that cigarette back into your pack at the end of the day.

[dreaddi]

GAHHH NOOOO! Caffiene is bad for me, I can't have it. God I'm sickly. I'm actually not to have caffiene, I drink only water and I eat very healthy. Smoking is my only bad habit, maybe some green tea might work. You're a darling McClain! And dreddi all I know are smokers, you give bad advice, burn in Hell.

I'm sorry. Noone said it was easy :(

[Dixie]

Shut up dreddi.

[Helm]

You guys take things WAY to seriously! For the idiot that started this useless thread, you came to a "We Mock You!" web site asking for quit smoking advice? Boy are you dumb. It's an open invitation for us to make fun of you!

redleader do you see anyone else in this thread trying to make fun of Carnivore?



And I dunno about advice. When I want to quit something, I quit something. I've never been one for bad habits, really. I quit alcohol two, three years ago cold turkey and it was ok

[Dole]

The glue helped a lot, didn't it?

[davinxtk]

Eat a cigarette.

You'll never want to smoke one again.

[Dixie]

Actually I have eaten a cigarette, it didn't do anything. I'm going cold turkey, but I expect to slip a little now and then. I figure as long as I'm not smoking more than 1 a day I can do it. I'm just trying to be careful about going nuts.

[Dole]

Sellotape cigarettes to a large metal tray and just smash yourself repeatedly in the face with it for a couple of days, you definitely won't want to smoke or see again.

[glowbelly]

get pregnant.

actually, about 5 days after i found out i was pregnant i was in the midst of some serious morning sickness and i leaned over smelled the ashtray that i had.

i now forever have that association in my head.

a clockwork orange baby.

works like a charm.

[ziggytrix]

When I only have one cigarette a day, it only enforces how much a drug it is for me, as I get a bit of a simulant rush off the first few puffs. :(

[kellychaos]

It's not so much the method of cessation so much as the true desire to quit and what motivates that desire. Keep reminding yourself of why you're quitting.

[sadie]

i'm with glowbelly on the quitting due to pregnancy; smoke makes me so nauseous when i'm pregnant. but i always end up smoking again afterwards. i don't smoke around my kids, though, so that cuts me back quite a bit. i just like smoking. plus, it helps me get that rasp i love when i sing. :O

[Marine]

Ok let me elaborate. Without spending money. I'm trying to just not buy anymore and going "cold turkey" (I hate that phrase). I can't use gum, patches or any of that shit. It's been 2 days so far and I'm wearing down.
use explosive ciggarettes

[kellychaos]

God, you suck balls.

[Marine]

hey it do work

[kellychaos]

No. Really.

[Marine]

i know somebody who quit smoking this way

[McClain]

That wouldn't happen to be a Looney Toon, would it?

[Rongi]

every time my friend russ wanted a cigarrette he would do a line of coke...well at least he doesnt smoke anymore

honestly, all that gum shit and patches and whatever doesnt do a damn thing. just do what carlin did when he was addicted to cocaine. smoke a little at time. like half of how much. then keep halfing and halfing until you dont smoke at all. or you smoke like 0.234873ths of a cigarrette

[Marine]

That wouldn't happen to be a Looney Toon, would it?
no one in my school (and i am not a tiny toon you geekwad)

[sadie]

hey it do work

[glowbelly]

mcclain made me giggle hard