THE POPE IS DEEEEEAAAAD

[Dole]

well, to all intents and purposes. At the radio station I work at we get 'news alerts' from bbc hq in london, and for the last 3 hours there has been one about every ten seconds!
He is by turns slipping out of conciousness/serene(??)/ off his mash...yadada. Jesus, the man knows how to drag it out! surely one of the cardinals could do the decent thing and just go and shout 'BOO!' in his ear. That would do it...
...how can you still be alive when your kidneys, have failed, you have had cardiac arrest, you cant eat, talk, open your eyes, think...

This is what I would like to see:
BBC - SNAPSHOT - Pope John Paul - 1055 GMT
In a bizarre and dramatic turn of events, His Holiness John Paul II was seen breakdancing by journalists inside the vatican. The Pontiff was then allegedly viewed hurling his own faeces at his vatican spokesman, shouting 'I am SUCH a bighead!'


...al the djs that are on here today are shitting themselves that he will go during their shows. Cos we have strict instructions to drop everything and go into sombre mode..

[Dole]

VATICAN CITY, April 2 (AFP) - Pope John Paul II lost
consciousness Saturday morning but is not in a coma, Vatican
spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.
gd/ec
AFP
020935 GMT APR 05

He's lost conciousness, but he is NOT in a coma, ok?? There is a BIG difference, believe me.

[FS]

I declare the pope, as of now, a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle.

[Dole]

My new book:

'Burbling fluids' - an affectionate look at the Pope's last weeks.

[Bell E. Laffs]

I just hope the pope moherse doesn't have a see through glass bubble.

[the_dudefather]

i cant wait for the pope oylmpics where they put cardinals through their paces to find out who is superhuman enough to be the new pope

[Drev]

I hope we get the black Pope.

[Rongi]

i bet they'll hook him up on machines and move his mouth around with a few wires and have some dude behind him address the people.

[ScruU2wice]

or there gonna keep him alive till sunday.. for symbolism.

[Geggy]

I feel like I'm listening to a sportscaster as they update the pope's condition every second of the minute.

"His heart rate is declining. Its at 30 bpm. Now its at 10 bpm. The heart has stopped. Its all over folks."

[Spooky]

...how can you still be alive when your kidneys, have failed, you have had cardiac arrest, you cant eat, talk, open your eyes, think...


my grandfather did it for months, some people just dont want to die.

[the_dudefather]

well the pope is now officaly dead as of 7:37pm GMT.

[AChimp]

STREWTH!

[Hugh_Bristic]

Joke or not, you all are complete cunts. The fact that you show more reverence for the alleged death of Mitch Hedberg is revolting. Do not confuse this with self-righteousness.

[Emu]

The thing is, I don't think anyone but Kevin and Sethomas are Catholic, but nearly all of us are fans of stand-up.

[NOT Jixby Phillips]

Joke or not, you all are complete cunts. The fact that you show more reverence for the alleged death of Mitch Hedberg is revolting. Do not confuse this with self-righteousness.

HEY HUGH, WHY DONT YOU SUCK MY DICK

[NOT Jixby Phillips]

WHAT A TRAGEDY THAT SOMEBODY DIED OF OLD AGE YOU STUPID BITCH I HATE YOU

[El Blanco]

I'm Catholic but I don't see why you would have to be to admire him. You didn't have to be Catholic to get his help and compassion.

And why is a second tier comedian who died quite possibly from a drug related heart attack a more sensetive issue than a man who dedicated his life to helping billions?

Honestly, make jokes about the Pope, thats what this section is here for. But don't get sand in your vaginas when people make jokes about Hedberg.

[Bell E. Laffs]

I hope we get the black Pope.

I hope it's one of those child molesters.

[ArrowX]

lemme bless you boy ALL of you.

[AChimp]

Joke or not, you all are complete cunts. The fact that you show more reverence for the alleged death of Mitch Hedberg is revolting. Do not confuse this with self-righteousness.

:lol

You must be one of the people who was standing outside all week praying and singing "stay with us," as if it's right to expect the pope to live forever.

[PYLON]

I just hope that people will start accepting this REAL quick, because im missing hte simpsons because of this, and its not much fun. he died, people die, get the fuck over it, and get homer back on t.v.

[Geggy]

I didn't realize it was insensitive to poke fun at the mass media coverage on the pope.

[Hugh_Bristic]

I never expected the Pope to live forever; I didn't sing songs or light candles or hold vigil. But I did keep all the snide comments to myself out of respect. Not respect borne of religion but respect that accompanies human decency. I'm not telling you to to praise him or hold a novena, I'm just hoping you wouldn't be such a jerk about it.

[the_dudefather]

this is i-mockery, not i-sincerity :lol

[ziggytrix]

i wish he was still alive i think he is i klnow he is cuzz in tupacs song he said he would come back i think he faked his death and i hope the pope did to :( if anyone has neopets join my pope guild my name is snowshoe193 i am a boy but my GF gave me this account

[ziggytrix]

I don't know how I stumbled onto this pathetic site you call a message board but heres my 2 cents: You're entitled to your opinions but to disrespect a deceased person, famous or not, is ignorant. I could give a @#%$ about Kurt "Suicide Boy" Cobain or druggie Elvis Presley but I don't harp on their deaths or why whiteys like you still idolize them. Thank you for opening my eyes to how idiotic people are. I'll remember to say a prayer for you tonight. And don't bother to reply to my message because once I post this, I'm not coming back in here. You shouldn't be so bitter about the fact that you are nothing in this world and envied the money and power that the pope had. People like you represent the dog @#%$ that the pope accidently stepped in one day. Stinks like hell and forgotten in an instant. You are nothing. LONG LIVE BEAUTIFUL the pope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ziggytrix]

It's a fuckin shame
these posts you'll puttin down bout my boy tha pope
So when you'll die i hope you'll go to hell
Cuz tha pope was the best you'll just don't know
For all da fuckerz that's been hatin...
never mind i don't want to waiste my energy on a bunch of people hatin on tha pope. R.I.P babygurl i love you and that will never change,peace.....

(walking off sayin..Dayum you'll childish)

[Chojin]

To be fair, Mitch did a lot more for me than the pope ever did.

[Dr. Boogie]

Alright Hugh, to be fair:

Mitch Hedburg? More like Mitch Deadburg!



I believe we're square now.

[ziggytrix]

JohnPaul was a very sweet person who inspiered a lot of people in so many ways. he was kool peps to me.
I loved his music and his movies.

His music talked about real things people go through or wish they could do!?

I'm really gonna miss him but he lives through his music.

Pope we will always remember you....

and for every one who's talking shit go to hell!!


Love always Suga from Atlanta

[ItalianStereotype]

there's 1.1 billion catholics in the world, I'm surprised that there's only been one in this thread. I know it's all trendy to hate religion or whatever; but fuck, I'm surprised this thread has done so poorly.

when the single most important man in a church encompassing 1/6th of the worlds population dies, I'd hope it would have more impact. my prayers are with the pope.

[Rongi]

this is i-mockery, not i-sincerity :lol

haha

[executioneer]

i'm not sad about the pope because there will be another pope, but it is unlikely we'll see another mitch hedberg anytime soon

[executioneer]

and plus, it was the pope's TIME i wish he'd gone sooner cause he seemed like he was suffering to me

[Rongi]

and plus, the pope NEVER made me laugh as much as hedberg did

[ScruU2wice]

so wait are you guys mad because this topic has 2 pages of coments while the mitch hedberg one has 4?

or are you guys mad because people are making fun of the pope like they were for the last 5 years?

[executioneer]

and plus, the pope NEVER made me laugh as much as hedberg did

what about that one state sketch where the italian family has to get ready for the pope to come over!

[Rongi]

i never saw the state sry!

[executioneer]

>:o

-willie

[Dr. Boogie]

Pope: (mumbles)

Cardinal: The pope says that blessed is he who creates a cinnamon roll incense, for His Holiness has always wanted his roommates to wake up with false hopes.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

but fuck, I'm surprised this thread has done so poorly.

when the single most important man in a church encompassing 1/6th of the worlds population dies, I'd hope it would have more impact. my prayers are with the pope.

Can't we miss both of them? I mean, without question the Pope was more important that Hedburg, but when did poor old Mitch become the antithesis of the Holy Father.....?

[ItalianStereotype]

that's not what I'm saying, kev ;o

[KevinTheOmnivore]

I hear ya, but I think you came to the wrong board for sympathy. :(

Hey, speaking of no sympathy, you should go check out Christopher Hitchen's latest piece on Slate. It's guaranteed to make your blood boil.....

[Chojin]

The pope had a great career, accomplished a lot, then died from old age and everyone was sad but his life was basically a success. Mitch was just beginning to reach his dreams and then his drug use caught up to him and killed him early in life, and only a select few people care.

So it's a little more personal with Mitch. Caring about the pope dying is like caring about Shiavo dying. Everyone is basically required to care.

[ItalianStereotype]

I've lost so much faith in humanity today. so many people making fun of the pope, maliciously attacking him, after he had died. who the fuck does this? and people who say it's stupid to get upset about are full of shit. I understand the whole "aww, the pope is so cute" type shit people said when he was alive, but what I've heard from people after his death is nowhere near the same.

fuck these people, it'd be worth prison just to remove their taint from the gene pool.

[Chojin]

I'm sure Jesus feels the same way.

I'm not glad he died, for the record.

[executioneer]

i didnt agree with some of the popes policies but i think he was an ok guy all the same

[Dr. V]

I never had any feelings toward the pope either way so I really don't care if he's dead or alive. He didn't lead my religion and my life isn't going to change as a result of his death. Sure it's sad and I feel bad for everyone who cared so much for him, but come on people, who didn't see this comming like 5 years ago?

[El Blanco]

i'm not sad about the pope because there will be another pope, but it is unlikely we'll see another mitch hedberg anytime soon

Thats a bad thing? A montone bootleg Seinfield is a staple of society?

[executioneer]

i think you need to get your hearing checked

[Chojin]

i love how comedy retards refer to seinfeld like he's some sort of amazing pinnacle of hilarity to which all other comedians waste their careers attempting to parallel.

[Drev]

I'm pretty sure the black Pope would sort all of this by now.

BLACK POPE FOR '05

[El Blanco]

i love how comedy retards refer to seinfeld like he's some sort of amazing pinnacle of hilarity to which all other comedians waste their careers attempting to parallel.

I didn't imply I liked Seinfeld, I just stated that Hedberg was on the observation bandwagon Seinfeld is so well known for. At least Seinfeld wasn't such a one note joke.

Seriously, he was the mildly funny love child of Seinfield and Cheech & Chong.

[executioneer]

you're such a firebrand

[Chojin]

i'd hardly call mitch an observational comedian. he just made jokes about anything and then fired them off in rapid succession with no segues or anything. if his delivery hadn't been so good, no-one would have liked him to begin with because his format was ridiculous. Which is also why it's ridiculous to call him 'monotone', since his entirely act was based on delivery.

[El Blanco]

The delivery became a crutch though. I've seen him live. He did a full half hour and I really enjoyed the first 15 minutes or so, but the delivery wore thin on me.

i'd hardly call mitch an observational comedian. he just made jokes about anything

That is observational comedy. Just talk about average everyday things as if they are strange. Its very hit or miss and I've never been a big fan of it.

[Rongi]

Thats a bad thing? A montone bootleg Seinfield is a staple of society?

i dont think i like you very much

[Bell E. Laffs]

At least Seinfeld wasn't such a one note joke.


WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Yeah Mitch has alot in common with that jew.

[Big Papa Goat]

Did the meaning of the word bootleg change?

[FS]

Most of what I remember John Paul II doing and saying are the things I didn't agree with. However, wherever I make jokes about the pope, it's always because I the last ten years of his life or so should've been spent in retirement and rest, not actively on the job. I can understand Catholics and people who love the pope getting attached to the guy, but jesus (lol), if there's one person who's going to get a good spot in heaven, it's him, so let the guy die and have peace already. I always felt a mixture of pity and disgust when I saw him practically falling to pieces at some gathering.

Also, I don't think Seinfeld's stand-up routines ever made me laugh, despite his TV show being brilliant.