How to ask her out...

[xbxDaniel]

I was wondering if anybody had any tips for asking a girl to a nice restraunt. A restraunt that requires a reservation, and about 100 dollars. Yeah, any tips at all.

Why the hell am I posting this on this site of all places.

[PILLOWFIGHT]

WOmen love formality. Be sure to write your invitation on a nice letter, with hello kitty stationary or maybe Pirate Scroll stationary. Be sure to kiss the bottom next to your signature with lipstick on

Women love surprises!! Try to catch her off guard like at her workplace or school or her car

Make sure u have clear consisce directions to the restuaraunt. especially if she's driving!!

[xbxDaniel]

Good way to be a lesbian stalker who's trying to lure her into a trap. Any other ideas?

[PILLOWFIGHT]

YEAH IF YOU WERE A DECENT PERSON YOU WOULDNT NEED TO TAKE HER TO A FANCY RESTAURAUNT

[The One and Only...]

Just learn from the State and stick a gun to her face.

[xbxDaniel]

Why, is McDonalds a romantic evening for you? I know I live in Kentucky and all, but some of us have class you know. No need to yell either.

[ArrowX]

Just learn from the State and stick a gun to her face.

I hate every single post you make >:

[MetalMilitia]

pillowfight has provided you with some very good advice!

[xbxDaniel]

Be sure to kiss the bottom next to your signature with lipstick on

Women love surprises!! Try to catch her off guard like at her workplace or school or her car

It's those parts that kind of confused me. First, I don't wear lipstick and I'm sure she would think it'd be weird as hell to get a note from a guy with lipstick smeared against it. Catching her off guard just seemed a little weird, the first thought that came to my mind was that I snuck up on her. Guess I should've put more thought into it. My apologies for my outburst Pillowfight.

[glowbelly]

how about you. just. ask. her.

[Yggdrasill]

First, I don't wear lipstick and I'm sure she would think it'd be weird as hell to get a note from a guy with lipstick smeared against it.

Then get some girl to write a note and kiss it with lipstick for you. Girls write so much better than boys you know.

Also don't give her the note in class, the teacher might see you.

[Aneurysm]

You have to play it cool, don't ask her out, make her want you. I don't know what kids think is cool nowadays but buying new clothes might help and showers are a plus. Also, she doesn't care about how you 'pwned' some guy in Halo three months ago, so don't mention it.

[maggiekarp]

Be yourself?

[Aneurysm]

I think he actually wants to go out with the girl.

[Chojin]

Thank you, Mr. Saget.

[Aneurysm]

Aw, shucks.

[xbxDaniel]

Make her want me huh? I guess I'll respect your advice to some extent. I doubt anybody can be made to want anybody else, but I guess anything is possible. Oh and I would so totally tell her about my 133T skills, and how I pwn in Halo 2, because I'm so awesome at it that she would be awed by my awesomeness. :melt Yeah, thanks for the advice y'all, anybody else care to input their two cents.

[kellychaos]

u gotta have skillz

[Aneurysm]

Like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, and computer hacking skills.

[Blaber66]

I suggest you get on a really high building, and when she's walking by, get two of your friends to jump off the building naked with parachutes that look like breasts. Then shoot them with your AK-47. The girl will be extremely turned on, especially when you put on your lipstick and kiss her.

[Archduke Tips]

First you say, "Would you like to have dinner with me some time at <name of restaurant>?"

If she says yes, then you say, "Okay how does <time and day> sound?"

If she says no, then you say, "Thanks anyway, maybe we can hang out some other time." And then walk away and try not to look really sad or angry or anything.

Smile when you talk to her, and be very polite. Wear nice clean clothing, and make sure you are well groomed (and shaved if you have facial hair) and smell good when you ask her. Don't use too much cologne if you decide to go down that route. Relax, and maybe practice what you are going to say a few times before you actually go through with the real run. Don't practice somewhere that people will hear you and laugh at you though. If you practice enough and you get really nervous when you ask her out, then it will just roll off naturally and you'll be okay. If you don't practice and you get really nervous you'll probably blow it... so keep that in mind.

If you have never talked to her before you may consider starting out with something like, "I think you are very pretty, and I was wondering if you would like to...etc"

Make sure you wear good looking clothes. Cheap shirts are nice for everyday hanging out, but asking a girl out and for dates you should wear nice clothes. Make sure they look good on YOU though, which means you may have to spend a decent amount of time in a store looking at clothes.

Anyway, that's my best advice. Practice makes perfect so if you fail the first time, don't be afraid to try again some other time... but don't pester any particular girl too much!

[xbxDaniel]

Wow, actual advice. I'm somewhat...shocked. Thank you though, quite good advice.

[kellychaos]

When I was in high school, I used to write out a list of topics and jokes that I planned on working into the phone conversation with this girl I was dating. I wanted to seem intereresting, topical and funny. :(

[sadie]

...which meant you weren't.

[kellychaos]

but I knew that I had potential ... kind of ... :(


P.S. An internet liar and melodramatist would have concluded with "and I ended up marrying that girl and ... " but I can't lie to y'all. :/

[Esuohlim]

I'VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND NOW SO I CONSIDER MYSELF AN EXPERT ON THESE MATTERS.

Step 1: Ask her out.
Step 2: Take her out.

SEE HOW EASY IT IS, YOU WIMP >:

[KevinTheOmnivore]

I think 50 Cent put it best:

"If your bitch wanna roll, I'ma let her get in
I don't play but I'm a playa till the motherfuckin' end {*gunshots*}

[Chorus: repeat 2X]
I got no pickup lines
I stay on the grind
I tell the hoes all the time
Bitch get in my car (Bitch get in)
I got my 64, ridin' on Dayton spokes
And when I open that do'
Bitch get in my car"

I think that's how it usually happens {*gunshots*}.....

[Archduke Tips]

If you are a rap mogul, then saying "Bitch get in my car" will work.

I doubt that is the image our friend xbxMCj is projecting, so I would suggest he try another method.

Acting like something you are not will label you as a poser, and from my experiences, chicks generally hate that. Sometimes they fall for it for a little while, but then they usually figure it out and cheat on you.

[xbxDaniel]

Well, I asked her out guys. She said she'd think about it. So yeah, I think I'm screwed, and not the way which involves another girl, but the metaphorical term that basically says "SHIT, She's going to say no". Oh well, maybe she'll say yes.

[Archduke Tips]

Relax, if she didn't say no it's still all good.

So does this girl know you very well? How do you know her?

[xbxDaniel]

We have been friends for a while, not real close, she said it'd be awkward to go out with me, so I said all right, and now I'm back to a what the hell kind of phase. So yeah, this episode is at an end, until next week.

Actually, we had sweet secks on the roooof of me house, and had three babies with our magical secks!!#@KJ#@ ( There now, that reply pleases everyone)

[Aneurysm]

Not everyone, there are no tentacles or pigs involved.

[ArrowX]

This whole thread reminds me of thsi shitty American anit-drugs and sex hip-hop group that came to my school. HYPE or something. The climax of the presentation was during a spiel by one of the female members of the group talking about how rape becomes rape when you say no in the middle of the act.

It filled me with Canadian pride to hear not half a second after "He raped me!" that the words "was it good?" travelled out of the crowd. This sent the woman up in flames she fukcing snapped on this kid.

[Archduke Tips]

You should ask her out to some place as just friends first. Don't pick an expensive restaurant either.

That'll at least give you a chance to work your wit and charm, and she won't feel committed or awkward.

You should not be proud of rape unless you are a pathetic worm.

[xbxDaniel]

She already asked me and a few other people out to hang out at the mall. So yeah, I wonder how long this thread can stay alive.

[kellychaos]

Only you have that power, Anakin.

[Aneurysm]

Anakin couldn't even keep his wife alive, this thread is doomed.

[Blaber66]

She already asked me and a few other people out to hang out at the mall. So yeah, I wonder how long this thread can stay alive.
I suggest you cut off your dick, buy hot dogs at the mall, and put your dick into the bun. Then she'll say "What the hell is this?!" and you can pull down your pants and underpants, showing her the blood pouring out.

Then she'll ask where the balls are, but you made them into earrings. She puts them on, and wants to make out. You guys run into the EB Games, and start doing it infront of the demo area. Or you can say "Bitch get in my car." which will be just as effecitve. Just make sure you look like Freddie Mercury. :wank :whitepig

EDIT: And make sure you show her my posts. :wank @ SMILEY BITCH

[Aneurysm]

Banned.

[hughgrxtion]

Go for the gusto. Tell her "You might as well come home with me, babe. I'm going to have you whether you're there or not." Then look at your hand. She'll either laugh her ass off and like it or you'll get slapped.

[ziggytrix]

I think it's a little late for that advice, buddy. >:

[Shifty]

go to movies with her and that as "friends" the one day, get drunk at the mall, almost kill one of her friends, and then a week later ask her out. thats how i got my g/f. no joke.

[MetalMilitia]

almost kill one of her friends,


Did you rape her too?

[Shifty]

almost kill one of her friends,


Did you rape her too?


no, that was there original idea tho, but then she got very sick...so it didnt happen.

[MetalMilitia]

Damn that must've sucked big time. All geared up for a good rapein only to have her get sick and ruin everything

[Shifty]

Damn that must've sucked big time. All geared up for a good rapein only to have her get sick and ruin everything


hey they didnt tell untill a couple months after that they where going to rape me. i was actually kinda disappointed, because her friend is hot...and i would like to bang her......

[Marc Summers]

Maybe it was morning sickness?

[Shifty]

err, she got sick from alcohol poisening. she drank alot of vodka.

[xbxDaniel]

As an update for this thread: She's dating my best friend now.

[Esuohlim]

Haha

[Slinky Ferret]

As an update for this thread: She's dating my best friend now.

:( Aww I'm sorry. That sucks!

[xbxDaniel]

Don't worry, I've learned through my friend that "she's a demanding whore who won't stop texting for more than two minutes while I try to sleep or hang out with your [referring to me]".

Sounds like a keeper.

Anyways, now I need help with another little problem. My ex-girlfriend, about two years now, has been sent me death threats a while ago. Now, she's sending them again. This time I'm getting them from more than one person, a.k.a. her goth friends, her boyfriend, her anime-fan friends, other people that aren't important either, etc. I'm debating whether or not to go to the cops or what. Any suggestions would be nice.

P.S. I'm not certain if it's just her or like two people, but there's something like allegedly eight people sending me threats all together.

[maggiekarp]

Reply with "MY DEATH WON'T MAKE YOUR ASS ANY LESS FATTER SRY" or something similar.

Would a restraining order work?

[MetalMilitia]

Look into getting a restraining order, it would be hilarious to tell your friends you had to get a restraining order taken out against a girl.

I would so do that if some anime fag cept hasseling me.

[Chojin]

Just defeat them all in endurance-round style combat. And then perform a colorful fatality on the last one.

Scan in these death threats! I wanna see!

[xbxDaniel]

Well now I have to dig them out of the trash and see if my friend is home yet. But yeah, I hope I can find the one made by one of the anime fans. I swear that he actually drew a picture of a little anime guy with a bloody knife. I really hope I can find that one.

[maggiekarp]

How serious could they be if they draw little anime dudes on their death threats?

Looks like we'll have to see the scan to tell if you should go with restraining order or just say "Haha fags" and let it blow over.

[Emu]

They'll try to kill you with witchcraft and ki blasts.

[maggiekarp]

They'll go all Super Saiyan in public and embarrass you to death :(

[glowbelly]

i like when you post in other forums, maggie.

just sayin.

[maggiekarp]

Does other forums mean I should post in as many forums as I can to spread my greatness, or other forums as in forums that you don't frequent?

Curse you, English, with your double meanings and sarcasm :(

[Jixby Phillips]

you should stop hanging out with stupid people

[glowbelly]

maggie, i was being nice :)

[maggiekarp]

Well that's good :)

[jin]

You are an okay dude ;o

[xbxDaniel]

I've got to wait for another handmade letter to post, trash ran the other day and I didn't get the notes out in time. No worries, because they found my e-mail address now.
http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c342/xbxmcj/mockcrap.jpg


An excerpt:
How dare you think you can do this to anybody! You deserve to burn forever for these atrocities. How dare you! If you think this will ever end YOU"RE WRONG!!!! DON"T EVER FORGET THIS!!! WE WILL FALL DOWN FROM BEHIND YOU AND DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVE IS PRECIOUS!!! LYNSEA IS OVER YOU AND YOU'VE LOST OUT! IF I EVER SEE YOU I WILL USE MY JUJITSU ON YOU!!! YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME!!! I SHALL DESTROY YOU!!!

[Emu]

I hope those are real. :lol Keep 'em comin'.

[xbxDaniel]

I will slowly eat your heart and and leave you alive while I do it, your brain will becom 1 wit my stomac, and you shal slwly be degested in my stomak because you shall suffer. Hannibal Lector ain't got NUNTHIN on me!!

NUNTHIN

Should I be afraid of these people?

[ziggytrix]

Yeah, they seem stupid/delusional enough to actually follow through on these threats. I'd let some authority know, so that your parents will have someone to sue when your situation is ignored and you get murdered.

[kahljorn]

They're going to fall down from behind you, let's hope they fall on their faces.

She's so over you her friends are pestering you :lol

[xbxDaniel]

I'm guessing I'll get a hold of the authorities this weekend. I don't think they're that serious, just more threats on the internet.

[Chojin]

With the new law passed, you could get them up to 2 years in prison each!

And yes, these are hilarious :< Why didn't you think to save the handwritten ones? If I got handwritten death threats, I'd totally frame them.

[xbxDaniel]

Well, I haven't checked my locker since the new semester, and I threw away the other ones because they were trash. Now, I may have to start saving them.

The subject line read Fuk U!
FUK U!

[CosmoToad]

Youre in a serious situation here. :chatter

[sadie]

Well, I haven't checked my locker since the new semester
are you in high school?

[CosmoToad]

Some elementary schools have lockers,sadie :/

[xbxDaniel]

At my school you can rent a locker for two dollars per semester. They're shitty, but better than taking my crap home every night.

Another e-mail today.

"Stay Away"
Don't ever come to school again if you want to keep your dick!

FUCK YOU

I'm sensing a pattern.

[MetalMilitia]

How exactly did you scorn this girl? Im sure you said but I cant be arsed to look through the whole thread to find out.

[xbxDaniel]

I broke up with her.

[MetalMilitia]

:eek

You totally have whats comming to you![/i]

[xbxDaniel]

I forgot to mention, but I called the cops today. They apparently have sundays off around here now.