I need a girlfriend.

[Jeff The Ninja]

Ok, heres the thing, I need some good things to do to get girls to notice me. I mean they notice me but only when I fuck up and fall down a few flights of stairs or when my swimming trunks fall off on that goddamn waterslide. I need to get girls to see the sensitive Jeff The Ninja, the one who would fight off a hoard of flesh eating babies to save her from being gummed to death. I want one who likes a little more to her men, namely two big Moobs and one big belly which I imagine could be used as A pillow. I also need someone who can appreciate my special brand of intelligent stupidity and can understand my hatred of American Idol and most of "Pop" culture.

Do any of you have any suggestions for me, is there a line I can use to get any girl I choose. Is it saying too much to show up on her front lawn butt naked with her name Spraypainted on my chest. Any advice.

[Womti]

why the hell didnt this work for me?! >:

[nothing4buddha]

find a nice, lonely, fat chick.

[Womti]

^^I guess he wont have to look too far then?^^

[maggiekarp]

Man, but it cold sucks to be a fat chick :(

Although, yeah, I gotta recommend that too, if you're desperate. Or, well.. make friends with some chicks.

[MetalMilitia]

The key to getting a girlfriend is to leave the house every so often and not spend so much time on the Internet. School/college/whatever doesn't really count because everyone hates everyone else in those places.
Go to some bars or clubs with a few friends, get lashed, and see what life throws at you.

Also loosing some weight might be an idea.

[Jeff The Ninja]

I do have some friends who are chicks but they all have boyfriends or we have been friends for so long that me making a move would jepordise our friendship.

[Womti]

repeat after me: boyfriends are not an issue. boyfriends are not an issue. boyfriends are not- etc. :)

[maggiekarp]

Uh, well.. boyfriends are kind of an issue. If you keep trying to get with them while they're happily with someone else they'll think you're a creep and avoid you.

Besides, even if it worked, you'd just have a girl who cheats on her boyfriends.

[Womti]

I go for sex, not relationships, :/

[maggiekarp]

Okay, fat chicks.

[Womti]

who cares... I dont think we can help him get a girlfriend. at least not an attractive one.

[maggiekarp]

She'll have a great personality though :( :( :( :( :(

[Womti]

how about slipping weight loss pills in her drinks? :/

[MetalMilitia]

Or tape worms

[maggiekarp]

Tape worms, of course!


Weight loss doesn't cure ugly, though :/

[Womti]

you know, whenever you post I am reminded of a cat meowing very loudly. :lol

[HickMan]

NO FAT CHICKS

[sloth]

I go for sex, not relationships, :/
"so, your place or mine"

[Womti]

"not interested" >: fucking jackass.

[MetalMilitia]

"dont lie"

[Womti]

"smacks- who's the bitch now bitch". :lol

[Emu]

is that an american pie reference

DID YOU JUST MAKE AN AMERICAN PIE REFERENCE YOU FUCKING TOOL

[Womti]

NO I MADE THAT UP YOU FUCKING TOOL

[maggiekarp]

Tools think alike?

[Womti]

I"m no tool. :tear

[Jeanette X]

I want one who likes a little more to her men, namely two big Moobs and one big belly which I imagine could be used as A pillow.


I think I found your problem. Do some sit ups and lose the moobs and belly, and I think you'll find the girls will be slightly more interested.

[Emu]

i imagine jeff the ninja to look like arnold schwartzenegger in that movie where he gets pregnant

[Womti]

WHAT?? :eek

[Esuohlim]

I believe Emu said:

i imagine jeff the ninja to look like arnold schwartzenegger in that movie where he gets pregnant

You wouldn't think we would have to repeat ourselves over the internet but womti here proves otherwise

[Womti]

thanks, milhouse. :)

[Emu]

you quote me in your sig like i'm supposed to be ashamed of my gay

[Slinky Ferret]

:/ Oh the irony. What you need to do is find a girl who has been only been out with jerks and show her a bit of kindness.

Also sometimes feelings for friends can change over night.

Its amazing what a few alcoholic drinks can do... can certainly change situations.

What I am trying to say is, eventually girls will look for blokes with personality. But when you're young and carefree they go for blokes who look like super models and after getting used and abused a few times they'll eventually go doh X doesn't treat me like that! da dar! Marriage and kids.

:( At least thats what happens in the movies.

[Tara]

What he needs to do is to stop obsessing.

Anybody who is comfortable and at peace with themselves will attract others.

That, and a gun with hollow points will do the trick.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

someone who just accepts you and doesn't try to mold you into their idea of the perfect boyfriend/husband....that would be nice.... :(

[Dole]

Or try to mold you into a vase or jug, thats even worse.

[Jixby Phillips]

Am i the only person in the world that can not understand the idea of wanting a girlfriend when theres no SPECIFIC PERSON in mind?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Or try to mold you into a vase or jug, thats even worse.

yeah, or make you a sammich with moldy bread and cheese...

[sadie]

Am i the only person in the world that can not understand the idea of wanting a girlfriend when theres no SPECIFIC PERSON in mind?
though i can't imagine ever feeling that way again, when i was teenager i craved a "boyfriend." not someone specific, just someone who clicked with me, someone i could share myself (metaphorically speaking >:) with, someone who knew and liked me best.

[Womti]

you quote me in your sig like i'm supposed to be ashamed of my gay

actually, I thought it was cute at the time. :)