Bob the Angry Potato
Feb 23rd, 2006, 09:27 PM
This is fairly old, and is a transcript of a happening that occured at Jonathan's forum (Jonathan was gone and there was no-one to bother, so I diverted a little negative-attention into insulting some okaku goth who had pulled my E-Mail from somewhere). This eventually went on until he burst out into spontaneous tears.
I post this here for comedic value... some people will think I'm a sadist, but with what this guy said, I'm going to keep on going until he's pissing tears.
"Anyone know a 'Mordionagenos@hotmail.com'?
He's supposedly some goth asshole who got my MSN off this site, perhaps... he decided to get in an argument with me over MSN, and I won. However, he proceeded to block me and send horrible insults from that.
I've countered each one, but this is getting irritating... he's wasting my inbox space.
Please, if anyone knows who it is (Moai, perhaps... but spelling's horrid), please tell me. If someone wants to sign him up for fetish gay porn, go ahead too.
A bit more info,
He's a goth, has no friends, admits he's fat, an otaku, an emo, and several other things. To top it off, he's 14... he has no business on 'teh intern3ts'...
Please, once again, someone get through to him. My insults are barely skimming his think, lard-pasted skull.
"
(This still stands. He's most likely abandoned his E-Mail because of so much hate mail he received, but nontheless, it's something to do).
After a (now deleted) E-Mail, responding to Barry saying "I've been out with every girl you have, and they've all told me one thing about you". He went on a tangent after some arguments about how I'm a 'gun nut who kills babies', and started talking about 'girlfriends' and 'how he has more money then me', despite the fact he has no idea who I am, and has obviously never seem me before.
E-Mail 1:
They all told you ONE THING?
What, you've pulled all these imaginary girls out of your ass?
I don't even KNOW ANYONE you know. Hell, I don't know YOU, you're some sad-sap who stole my name off a forum in the Internet.
Really, that's kind of sad... I don't go out with girls that much younger then me. Hell, you and them are GRADE 8. Kind of sick if I did, isn't it?
Cheers, and please, do yourself a favour and walk into traffic.
You REALLY took the pussy way out there, blocking me and all... just shows you don't know how to argue out like a man. Hell, I'd still be impressed if you came to my house and slugged me, even if it meant a slow and painful death on your part.
Cheers,
Nate
Reply, coming about half-an-hour later:
YOU ARE A SAD SAD LIL MAN!!!!!TALK TO SOMEONE MAYBE A HELP LINE A
MEETING OR TWO AND YOU MIGHT GET A GRIP ON THINGS YA FREAK OF
NATURE
E-Mail 2:
You sad, sad little man...
Please, go seek help. The fact you find picking random names off the Internet 'fun' and sending retarded insults over E-Mail after you know you've been beat shows you're not really worth my time...
Reply:
who you callin lil fuck nut ill kick your ass so fuckin far yooull feel like dorathy for wizzard of oz
E-Mail 3 (At this point, started doing Jane's style of signature. Sorry, Jane, if this offends you in any way.)
Really, please. If you want to say unfounded things against me, at least make it partially believable, or found it off something...
Oh, that's right. You don't have anything to base it on, because you're a bigotted asshole who doesn't know how to insult people.
Stuck up Bastard,
Nate
Reply (By now, he's dithering. Who the hell is 'Chii'?):
iam going to lose and yes the things i have said had no foundation and id like to know who you have been talking to you so i can figure out who my real friends are from my enemys and the people you have been talking to are dumb asses no one knows me really why cause i spread lies klike wild fire infact chii doesnt know half the shit i have lived through and also your just another lil misquitoe trying to get a piece of me i dont care because i give up
E-Mail 4 (now very cynical, and feeling bitter. Researched this guy a bit, found I'm not the only guy he did this to, so I used some sources of ASC to insult him one final time):
Finally, I win.
I consider myself less the mosquito, more the annoying voice in the back of your head, saying what a dumbass you are. Something like a concience, at least...
Sad thing is, those 4 people I asked about you said the same thing, and some of them don't know each other... hmm...
"It's a conspiracy! Break out the tin-foil hats, they're mind-controlling us!"
Unfortunately enough, I protect my sources.
Headache, yet rather happy,
Nate
Reply (Once again dithering, seems to be under the delusion he knows me personally):
how do they know me and at least tell me if its chelsea or corey
E-Mail 5 (looked into it, found who Chelsie was... seemingly, his only friend):
It's 4 people. Not telling you who, at least.
I'd trust Chelsie, she's so horrible at judging character she's actually your friend, albeit your only one.
However, once again, I protect my sources.
Freedom of speech,
Nate
Reply (Turns out, I got the fact that he actually doesn't have any friends, and the fact he hasn't had a girlfriend from her):
she is loyal at times but no shes not my only friend ,would you happen to know robert baker?
and also i have tons more friends tons more people just dont see me enough to know and even though yes iam fat but i dont give a shit and if your so big why are you pickin on 8th graders mr.big man tell me that fuck face and do you know that i know this will be funny but i bet your pullin this shit out your ass cause i dont know anyone that knows you and if i did i wouldnt hit theme for tellin you stuff about me i'd pitty theme cause they have you for a friend a lil gun nerd
(By this time, he's gone into denial about the 4 sources, and calling me (despite the obvious fact he's a self-admittent one) a 'nerd'. Quite sad, really... I'll admit I am a gun enthusiast, and I actually take the time to type properly, but I don't waste all hours of the day watching reruns of Inu Yasha.)
Reply 6:
Hahahaha!
I told you this was fun. Poor bastard, you're quite pathetic, really...
"I give up!"
I swear, you'd make an awesome Frenchman... no wonder you don't have any friends, spewing all that bullshit from your mouth. 4 seperate sources don't lie.
Fathers against Hypocritical Bigots,
Nate
(Yes, Jane, sorry for stealing that.)
Reply:
i still think you pulled that from your ass how am i saposed to know that there is 4 seperate sources if i dont know they exist
E-Mail 7:
Wow, that's the worst tactic I've ever heard... you really want to find out who these people are, don't you?
At least, the problem is I know they exist. You don't need to know about them, however, I can see it irks you quite a bit.
I support the Freedom of Speech, and I protect my sources. Hell, do newspapers cite them?
Didn't think so,
Nate
Reply:
thats ok i know you pulled it from you ass you self-rightous fucker
E-Mail 8:
Bwahahahah!
Sure I did... I also pulled the fact you're an egomaniacal 'wiccan' emo-wannabe, and the fact that you were drastically overweight, from my ass. Must be a pretty damn smart ass, then.
Believe what you wish,
Nate
Reply:
i believe this because i have told you iam a wiccan and that iam fat and that iam goth i know this cause i have all our conversations saved so HA!
E-Mail 9:
Indeed.
Perhaps, good sir, YOU are the fifth source.
'Pr0teCt0r of t3h int3rw3bz!'
Nate
Reply (What?):
its okay you keep believeing that because i know you pulled it from other converstations so thats how you know so little about me
E-Mail 10:
You 'know'?
Hmm... once again, you may believe what you wish. However, I have other sources, and I may use them as much as I wish.
Do us a favour and walk into your traffic, your E-Mails are simply tiring now.
Not so much tiring, more pathetic...
Believer in euthanasia,
Nate
Reply:
whatever dick suck cause you know iam right the only reason you want me to go is so you can go jerk off from your guns you fuckin gun nred
E-Mail 11:
Hahahaha!
This just got amusing again.
I, actually, DON'T know you're right... in fact, half the stuff that's come out of your mouth has contradicted itself.
Nomatter what you throw at me, I know I'm right... considering I can talk to them again. Talking like THAT makes you look like a delusional asshole.
Retake English,
Nate
Reply (Again, no idea what he's ranting about):
i admit iam an ass hole infact i have one i know you have onw as far as chelaseas told me its on your face and you talk out of it too often please stop your stinking up the enviroment and guess what iam not a moron
E-Mail 12:
Yes, you are.
Hate to say it, but it's true...
As per Chelsie, that's 1 source.
Find more mutual friends,
Nate
Reply (Note- he doesn't know anyone I know, this person seems to be imaginary):
i have no other sources cause thats the only person i can find that can stand you
E-Mail 13:
Hahaha!
Once again, you know almost no mutual friends... that's why. We've never even seen each other for chrissakes, you've pulled my name of a forum.
You really have to find some mutual friends, if you want to find out about me...
Oh, that's right... you have none to begin with!
Self-righteous bitch,
Nate
Reply:
i do have some in-fact i have many you just dont know it and if you do have sources(cause you really dont) they dont even no me well enough to know i have tons of friends
E-Mail 14:
Believe what you wish. I think I'll go leftist for a few minutes.
Actually has sources,
Nate
Reply:
whatever dont talk to me nathan your a waste of my time infact a waste of everyones time do us all a favour and take one of your lil toys and rid the world of its stench of you
E-Mail 15:
Hahahah!
Again, unfounded spam.
Please, learn how to spell... with that level of education, I don't think anyone can take you seriously.
Public Education is Good,
Nate
Reply:
your a loser if you think my bad spellings gonna hurt me
E-Mail 15:
No, it just shows you're an idiot.
Sylvan Learning Center,
Nate
Reply:
and i still think you should do the world a favour and end your life cause its not even worth the dog shit that people step on
E-Mail 16:
Oh, the ironing!
The emo-goth loser with no friends telling the guy who actually gets
off his ass once in a while to go kill himself!
Oh, the irony of this situation is making me crack up... I'm sorry, this is just too much.
You should do stand-up,
Nate
Reply:
ok whatever good bye
E-Mail 17- Final E-Mail-
Ta-ta!
This was the final E-Mail between us.
Follow-up: I added one of my contacts who apparently goes to his school, and turns out he was seething at the mouth when he mentioned the E-Mails.
Quite sad, but amusing none-the-less.
Soon, after many negative responses directed towards him by some fellow goth/otaku haters, he came along to the home front, Jon's forum himself, and posted something 'in his defence'.
Alucard310 says:
in my defence iam 15 and iam not emo or goth i just dress like a goth you can even ask chelsea nathan and emos cut there wrists i dont and i dont think of anime sex i only wtach hellsing cause its about vampires i like vampires and yea iam gettin a new email so please dont send any more hate mail this fight started over a stupid msn conversation over which is better guns or swords and then it escaladed into something not needed and i think i shouldnt be the one harrased when he is fighting with someone younger then him and i did read your insults i just dont give a damn like most insults that are thrown at me
My response, naturally, was:
Alex, thanks for bringing him here. Anyways, because you're such a moron, Barry, I think I'll consider taunting you.
Consider yourself another internet celebrity, by the time I'm done with you you will be.
That's what happens when you decide to talk back to someone much older then you...
I didn't harrass you, actually. You could have not written back, or actually gave up when you said you did, instead of pulling things out of your ass.
"I'm a moron", indeed.
Anyways, I'm going to spread this around a bit, send it to some podcasters I know and other folks, and see what they do... I'm sure the gun-owner, airsofter, paintballer, goth, metal-head and other communities won't be so amused... so far, I've posted this one other place and immediately got crowned the 'Comeback King', along with other people laughing at you, PM'ing me for your address and congratulating me.
Cheers, Barry. You've dug yourself a hole, I'm here to dig it deeper.
EDIT: If you piss me off even furthur, I'll correct the spelling errors in the E-Mail itself... it's the only thing that's stopping everyone on Arnie's adding you, you know, and also spamming the hell out of you. I gave HaVoc your E-Mail for shit and giggles, though, to see how it turns out. I find he's quite, well... 'good at making people look like idiots', not that I haven't done it already.
Moral of the story is, don't take random people on MSN and argue with them. Especially using the words 'hey fuckface' as your first line, that's not going to make a nice impression.
Ta-ta!
Nate
Naturally, other folks from the forum joined in with bashing him (one member, the awesomely-awesome Vox [now banned, for supposedly 'stirring up shit in Jon's forum'], sent him a warning and an image of a dead, preserved cat.
Killjoy:
assorted faggotry.
Wow, you're like a bubbling crock-pot of stupidity. Not only are you some infant scenester but you have a single digit IQ (I'm going by your horrendously poor grasp of the English language.) and the personality of a rotting treestump.
And no, Mister "Hey look my name is Dracula spelled backwards, just like that one character from Hellsing. I am a giant faggot.", it's not that you don't care about the insults thrown at you. It's that you're too ignorant to come up with something the least bit biting and too ignorant to comprehend what we're saying.
Now shut up and go back to jerking off to Schroedinger hentai.
Guessmyname:
The goth culture has always bothered me. In order to prove their individuality, they feel the need to jam themselves into a cliche and talk about how conformist all the people are who bump them around the middle school hallways.
Oh, forgive me, you're not a goth, you just dress like one. That, if possible, is even more retarded than considering yourself a goth. Your weak psyche has you latch on to a subculture already tailor made for the moronic, yet you have the audacity to consider yourself somehow different. You're not, kid. I went to school with a bunch of people who put on black clothes, spikey collars, and black nail polish. Each one of them considered themselves an individual, and each one was nothing more than a dumb twat whose father hates them because they could never quite cut it in little league.
I hope you get chemically castrated.
Eurotrash:
I would like to point out that Castlevania's Alucard is still a badass though.
So damn you for tainting that name.
TheSarge
Christ that alucard guy is a tool.
Naturally, this stuff was beginning to get to him. One of my sources indicated that he was very, VERY stressed, so I decided to push him over the line with a goth-rock song, redone:
Ah, a goth, eh?
I'll put this back in the only way you'll understand...
Not very good, but I did my best.
(to the tune of 'Holy Poison', by Funeral Mist)
Keep on fighting Barry,
Yes, live now through this tool of yours
Humour me, O seditious child,
As I would do, I'll mock your hate,
Like a thousand goths,
A thousand kids,
I hope for thee, the hope of man
Child on filth, by all rejected
Yes, cut thyself to kill the human within
And fetter now these lustful limbs
Fetter the flesh, choke the sin
Laudamus te
Adoramus te
I humour me and reject thee
And now I am the light that destroys your soul
Quoniam tu solus sanctus
Tu solus dominus
And like a child frightened to obedience shall I do thy holy will until eternity ends thereafter... Amen
Mock me, O Barry,
Yes, through your mail you dig thy fate
Keep me going, moronic child
And like a thousand suns shall I mock thy hate
Like a thousand plagues
A thousand wars
A thousand hells and a thousand storms
Glorificamus te
Oremus
Let us give hate
Extol and mock him
Gratias agimus tibi propter magnam gloriam tuam
Soon afterwards, one of my sources came forward with some interesting information:
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b132/BobtheAngryPotato/Barry.jpg
AlexJ
If anybody else has trouble reading that, it seems to read:
[1st circle]Barry was crying
[2nd circle]Barry was crying
[3rd circle]Was he crying at school?
[3rd circle]no on the phone
I think that's about right but you need to upload a bigger pic
And that's really horrible! I feel sorry for him, even if he's a bit of an arse sometimes he shouldn't be crying down the phone to friends. What's he so sad over, the hatemail? :/ He must be in a pretty shitty state as it is, if he's reacting like that.
I mean, damn.
Finally, put-together a follow-up E-Mail...
Subject: You've been EM-OWNED! (TM)
As the subject says.
Sir, I hate to inform you of this, but I have won. This argument has come to a close, at about the time you started crying.
Cheers, don't put too much water on the carpet.
You ARE an emo,
Nate
PS: Ah, here's another little song. Since the other one actually got to you, I may as well finish the job by sending another.
Title:
You'll rebel to anything, as long as it's not challenging
(You don't mean it)
You need a uniform.
So you won't be ignored.
You are affected.
And so you're accepted...
It's time you invested in a bottle of poison.
So we don't have to hear about you bitching and moaning,
You think you could afford a fucking bottle of asprin...
Boo fucking hoo you're not the only one whose live's a piece of shit,
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it,
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists,
In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit!
(You don't mean it)
You need a uniform.
So you won't be ignored.
You are affected.
And so you're accepted
It's time you invested in a bottle of poison,
So we don't have to hear about you bitching and moaning,
You think you could afford a fucking bottle of asprin...
You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots,
You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock,
You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong,
I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!
(You don't mean it)
Boo fucking hoo you're not the only one whose live's a piece of shit,
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it,
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists,
In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit!
You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots,
You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock,
You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong,
I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!
Boo fucking hoo you're not the only one whose live's a piece of shit,
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it,
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists,
In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit!
You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots,
You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock,
You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong,
I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!
(You don't mean it)
(You MSI fans out there may recognize this... if Jimmy Urine, for whatever reason, is reading this, sorry. It's done to piss off those emo-kids you hate so much, so I assume it's excusable...)
That's about all. If he comes back bawling, I'll be sure to try something and put it up here... people like this, as others may think, are best ignored, but I find that destroying them mentally does a lot for comedic value, as they're no good for society any other way.
I post this here for comedic value... some people will think I'm a sadist, but with what this guy said, I'm going to keep on going until he's pissing tears.
"Anyone know a 'Mordionagenos@hotmail.com'?
He's supposedly some goth asshole who got my MSN off this site, perhaps... he decided to get in an argument with me over MSN, and I won. However, he proceeded to block me and send horrible insults from that.
I've countered each one, but this is getting irritating... he's wasting my inbox space.
Please, if anyone knows who it is (Moai, perhaps... but spelling's horrid), please tell me. If someone wants to sign him up for fetish gay porn, go ahead too.
A bit more info,
He's a goth, has no friends, admits he's fat, an otaku, an emo, and several other things. To top it off, he's 14... he has no business on 'teh intern3ts'...
Please, once again, someone get through to him. My insults are barely skimming his think, lard-pasted skull.
"
(This still stands. He's most likely abandoned his E-Mail because of so much hate mail he received, but nontheless, it's something to do).
After a (now deleted) E-Mail, responding to Barry saying "I've been out with every girl you have, and they've all told me one thing about you". He went on a tangent after some arguments about how I'm a 'gun nut who kills babies', and started talking about 'girlfriends' and 'how he has more money then me', despite the fact he has no idea who I am, and has obviously never seem me before.
E-Mail 1:
They all told you ONE THING?
What, you've pulled all these imaginary girls out of your ass?
I don't even KNOW ANYONE you know. Hell, I don't know YOU, you're some sad-sap who stole my name off a forum in the Internet.
Really, that's kind of sad... I don't go out with girls that much younger then me. Hell, you and them are GRADE 8. Kind of sick if I did, isn't it?
Cheers, and please, do yourself a favour and walk into traffic.
You REALLY took the pussy way out there, blocking me and all... just shows you don't know how to argue out like a man. Hell, I'd still be impressed if you came to my house and slugged me, even if it meant a slow and painful death on your part.
Cheers,
Nate
Reply, coming about half-an-hour later:
YOU ARE A SAD SAD LIL MAN!!!!!TALK TO SOMEONE MAYBE A HELP LINE A
MEETING OR TWO AND YOU MIGHT GET A GRIP ON THINGS YA FREAK OF
NATURE
E-Mail 2:
You sad, sad little man...
Please, go seek help. The fact you find picking random names off the Internet 'fun' and sending retarded insults over E-Mail after you know you've been beat shows you're not really worth my time...
Reply:
who you callin lil fuck nut ill kick your ass so fuckin far yooull feel like dorathy for wizzard of oz
E-Mail 3 (At this point, started doing Jane's style of signature. Sorry, Jane, if this offends you in any way.)
Really, please. If you want to say unfounded things against me, at least make it partially believable, or found it off something...
Oh, that's right. You don't have anything to base it on, because you're a bigotted asshole who doesn't know how to insult people.
Stuck up Bastard,
Nate
Reply (By now, he's dithering. Who the hell is 'Chii'?):
iam going to lose and yes the things i have said had no foundation and id like to know who you have been talking to you so i can figure out who my real friends are from my enemys and the people you have been talking to are dumb asses no one knows me really why cause i spread lies klike wild fire infact chii doesnt know half the shit i have lived through and also your just another lil misquitoe trying to get a piece of me i dont care because i give up
E-Mail 4 (now very cynical, and feeling bitter. Researched this guy a bit, found I'm not the only guy he did this to, so I used some sources of ASC to insult him one final time):
Finally, I win.
I consider myself less the mosquito, more the annoying voice in the back of your head, saying what a dumbass you are. Something like a concience, at least...
Sad thing is, those 4 people I asked about you said the same thing, and some of them don't know each other... hmm...
"It's a conspiracy! Break out the tin-foil hats, they're mind-controlling us!"
Unfortunately enough, I protect my sources.
Headache, yet rather happy,
Nate
Reply (Once again dithering, seems to be under the delusion he knows me personally):
how do they know me and at least tell me if its chelsea or corey
E-Mail 5 (looked into it, found who Chelsie was... seemingly, his only friend):
It's 4 people. Not telling you who, at least.
I'd trust Chelsie, she's so horrible at judging character she's actually your friend, albeit your only one.
However, once again, I protect my sources.
Freedom of speech,
Nate
Reply (Turns out, I got the fact that he actually doesn't have any friends, and the fact he hasn't had a girlfriend from her):
she is loyal at times but no shes not my only friend ,would you happen to know robert baker?
and also i have tons more friends tons more people just dont see me enough to know and even though yes iam fat but i dont give a shit and if your so big why are you pickin on 8th graders mr.big man tell me that fuck face and do you know that i know this will be funny but i bet your pullin this shit out your ass cause i dont know anyone that knows you and if i did i wouldnt hit theme for tellin you stuff about me i'd pitty theme cause they have you for a friend a lil gun nerd
(By this time, he's gone into denial about the 4 sources, and calling me (despite the obvious fact he's a self-admittent one) a 'nerd'. Quite sad, really... I'll admit I am a gun enthusiast, and I actually take the time to type properly, but I don't waste all hours of the day watching reruns of Inu Yasha.)
Reply 6:
Hahahaha!
I told you this was fun. Poor bastard, you're quite pathetic, really...
"I give up!"
I swear, you'd make an awesome Frenchman... no wonder you don't have any friends, spewing all that bullshit from your mouth. 4 seperate sources don't lie.
Fathers against Hypocritical Bigots,
Nate
(Yes, Jane, sorry for stealing that.)
Reply:
i still think you pulled that from your ass how am i saposed to know that there is 4 seperate sources if i dont know they exist
E-Mail 7:
Wow, that's the worst tactic I've ever heard... you really want to find out who these people are, don't you?
At least, the problem is I know they exist. You don't need to know about them, however, I can see it irks you quite a bit.
I support the Freedom of Speech, and I protect my sources. Hell, do newspapers cite them?
Didn't think so,
Nate
Reply:
thats ok i know you pulled it from you ass you self-rightous fucker
E-Mail 8:
Bwahahahah!
Sure I did... I also pulled the fact you're an egomaniacal 'wiccan' emo-wannabe, and the fact that you were drastically overweight, from my ass. Must be a pretty damn smart ass, then.
Believe what you wish,
Nate
Reply:
i believe this because i have told you iam a wiccan and that iam fat and that iam goth i know this cause i have all our conversations saved so HA!
E-Mail 9:
Indeed.
Perhaps, good sir, YOU are the fifth source.
'Pr0teCt0r of t3h int3rw3bz!'
Nate
Reply (What?):
its okay you keep believeing that because i know you pulled it from other converstations so thats how you know so little about me
E-Mail 10:
You 'know'?
Hmm... once again, you may believe what you wish. However, I have other sources, and I may use them as much as I wish.
Do us a favour and walk into your traffic, your E-Mails are simply tiring now.
Not so much tiring, more pathetic...
Believer in euthanasia,
Nate
Reply:
whatever dick suck cause you know iam right the only reason you want me to go is so you can go jerk off from your guns you fuckin gun nred
E-Mail 11:
Hahahaha!
This just got amusing again.
I, actually, DON'T know you're right... in fact, half the stuff that's come out of your mouth has contradicted itself.
Nomatter what you throw at me, I know I'm right... considering I can talk to them again. Talking like THAT makes you look like a delusional asshole.
Retake English,
Nate
Reply (Again, no idea what he's ranting about):
i admit iam an ass hole infact i have one i know you have onw as far as chelaseas told me its on your face and you talk out of it too often please stop your stinking up the enviroment and guess what iam not a moron
E-Mail 12:
Yes, you are.
Hate to say it, but it's true...
As per Chelsie, that's 1 source.
Find more mutual friends,
Nate
Reply (Note- he doesn't know anyone I know, this person seems to be imaginary):
i have no other sources cause thats the only person i can find that can stand you
E-Mail 13:
Hahaha!
Once again, you know almost no mutual friends... that's why. We've never even seen each other for chrissakes, you've pulled my name of a forum.
You really have to find some mutual friends, if you want to find out about me...
Oh, that's right... you have none to begin with!
Self-righteous bitch,
Nate
Reply:
i do have some in-fact i have many you just dont know it and if you do have sources(cause you really dont) they dont even no me well enough to know i have tons of friends
E-Mail 14:
Believe what you wish. I think I'll go leftist for a few minutes.
Actually has sources,
Nate
Reply:
whatever dont talk to me nathan your a waste of my time infact a waste of everyones time do us all a favour and take one of your lil toys and rid the world of its stench of you
E-Mail 15:
Hahahah!
Again, unfounded spam.
Please, learn how to spell... with that level of education, I don't think anyone can take you seriously.
Public Education is Good,
Nate
Reply:
your a loser if you think my bad spellings gonna hurt me
E-Mail 15:
No, it just shows you're an idiot.
Sylvan Learning Center,
Nate
Reply:
and i still think you should do the world a favour and end your life cause its not even worth the dog shit that people step on
E-Mail 16:
Oh, the ironing!
The emo-goth loser with no friends telling the guy who actually gets
off his ass once in a while to go kill himself!
Oh, the irony of this situation is making me crack up... I'm sorry, this is just too much.
You should do stand-up,
Nate
Reply:
ok whatever good bye
E-Mail 17- Final E-Mail-
Ta-ta!
This was the final E-Mail between us.
Follow-up: I added one of my contacts who apparently goes to his school, and turns out he was seething at the mouth when he mentioned the E-Mails.
Quite sad, but amusing none-the-less.
Soon, after many negative responses directed towards him by some fellow goth/otaku haters, he came along to the home front, Jon's forum himself, and posted something 'in his defence'.
Alucard310 says:
in my defence iam 15 and iam not emo or goth i just dress like a goth you can even ask chelsea nathan and emos cut there wrists i dont and i dont think of anime sex i only wtach hellsing cause its about vampires i like vampires and yea iam gettin a new email so please dont send any more hate mail this fight started over a stupid msn conversation over which is better guns or swords and then it escaladed into something not needed and i think i shouldnt be the one harrased when he is fighting with someone younger then him and i did read your insults i just dont give a damn like most insults that are thrown at me
My response, naturally, was:
Alex, thanks for bringing him here. Anyways, because you're such a moron, Barry, I think I'll consider taunting you.
Consider yourself another internet celebrity, by the time I'm done with you you will be.
That's what happens when you decide to talk back to someone much older then you...
I didn't harrass you, actually. You could have not written back, or actually gave up when you said you did, instead of pulling things out of your ass.
"I'm a moron", indeed.
Anyways, I'm going to spread this around a bit, send it to some podcasters I know and other folks, and see what they do... I'm sure the gun-owner, airsofter, paintballer, goth, metal-head and other communities won't be so amused... so far, I've posted this one other place and immediately got crowned the 'Comeback King', along with other people laughing at you, PM'ing me for your address and congratulating me.
Cheers, Barry. You've dug yourself a hole, I'm here to dig it deeper.
EDIT: If you piss me off even furthur, I'll correct the spelling errors in the E-Mail itself... it's the only thing that's stopping everyone on Arnie's adding you, you know, and also spamming the hell out of you. I gave HaVoc your E-Mail for shit and giggles, though, to see how it turns out. I find he's quite, well... 'good at making people look like idiots', not that I haven't done it already.
Moral of the story is, don't take random people on MSN and argue with them. Especially using the words 'hey fuckface' as your first line, that's not going to make a nice impression.
Ta-ta!
Nate
Naturally, other folks from the forum joined in with bashing him (one member, the awesomely-awesome Vox [now banned, for supposedly 'stirring up shit in Jon's forum'], sent him a warning and an image of a dead, preserved cat.
Killjoy:
assorted faggotry.
Wow, you're like a bubbling crock-pot of stupidity. Not only are you some infant scenester but you have a single digit IQ (I'm going by your horrendously poor grasp of the English language.) and the personality of a rotting treestump.
And no, Mister "Hey look my name is Dracula spelled backwards, just like that one character from Hellsing. I am a giant faggot.", it's not that you don't care about the insults thrown at you. It's that you're too ignorant to come up with something the least bit biting and too ignorant to comprehend what we're saying.
Now shut up and go back to jerking off to Schroedinger hentai.
Guessmyname:
The goth culture has always bothered me. In order to prove their individuality, they feel the need to jam themselves into a cliche and talk about how conformist all the people are who bump them around the middle school hallways.
Oh, forgive me, you're not a goth, you just dress like one. That, if possible, is even more retarded than considering yourself a goth. Your weak psyche has you latch on to a subculture already tailor made for the moronic, yet you have the audacity to consider yourself somehow different. You're not, kid. I went to school with a bunch of people who put on black clothes, spikey collars, and black nail polish. Each one of them considered themselves an individual, and each one was nothing more than a dumb twat whose father hates them because they could never quite cut it in little league.
I hope you get chemically castrated.
Eurotrash:
I would like to point out that Castlevania's Alucard is still a badass though.
So damn you for tainting that name.
TheSarge
Christ that alucard guy is a tool.
Naturally, this stuff was beginning to get to him. One of my sources indicated that he was very, VERY stressed, so I decided to push him over the line with a goth-rock song, redone:
Ah, a goth, eh?
I'll put this back in the only way you'll understand...
Not very good, but I did my best.
(to the tune of 'Holy Poison', by Funeral Mist)
Keep on fighting Barry,
Yes, live now through this tool of yours
Humour me, O seditious child,
As I would do, I'll mock your hate,
Like a thousand goths,
A thousand kids,
I hope for thee, the hope of man
Child on filth, by all rejected
Yes, cut thyself to kill the human within
And fetter now these lustful limbs
Fetter the flesh, choke the sin
Laudamus te
Adoramus te
I humour me and reject thee
And now I am the light that destroys your soul
Quoniam tu solus sanctus
Tu solus dominus
And like a child frightened to obedience shall I do thy holy will until eternity ends thereafter... Amen
Mock me, O Barry,
Yes, through your mail you dig thy fate
Keep me going, moronic child
And like a thousand suns shall I mock thy hate
Like a thousand plagues
A thousand wars
A thousand hells and a thousand storms
Glorificamus te
Oremus
Let us give hate
Extol and mock him
Gratias agimus tibi propter magnam gloriam tuam
Soon afterwards, one of my sources came forward with some interesting information:
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b132/BobtheAngryPotato/Barry.jpg
AlexJ
If anybody else has trouble reading that, it seems to read:
[1st circle]Barry was crying
[2nd circle]Barry was crying
[3rd circle]Was he crying at school?
[3rd circle]no on the phone
I think that's about right but you need to upload a bigger pic
And that's really horrible! I feel sorry for him, even if he's a bit of an arse sometimes he shouldn't be crying down the phone to friends. What's he so sad over, the hatemail? :/ He must be in a pretty shitty state as it is, if he's reacting like that.
I mean, damn.
Finally, put-together a follow-up E-Mail...
Subject: You've been EM-OWNED! (TM)
As the subject says.
Sir, I hate to inform you of this, but I have won. This argument has come to a close, at about the time you started crying.
Cheers, don't put too much water on the carpet.
You ARE an emo,
Nate
PS: Ah, here's another little song. Since the other one actually got to you, I may as well finish the job by sending another.
Title:
You'll rebel to anything, as long as it's not challenging
(You don't mean it)
You need a uniform.
So you won't be ignored.
You are affected.
And so you're accepted...
It's time you invested in a bottle of poison.
So we don't have to hear about you bitching and moaning,
You think you could afford a fucking bottle of asprin...
Boo fucking hoo you're not the only one whose live's a piece of shit,
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it,
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists,
In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit!
(You don't mean it)
You need a uniform.
So you won't be ignored.
You are affected.
And so you're accepted
It's time you invested in a bottle of poison,
So we don't have to hear about you bitching and moaning,
You think you could afford a fucking bottle of asprin...
You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots,
You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock,
You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong,
I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!
(You don't mean it)
Boo fucking hoo you're not the only one whose live's a piece of shit,
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it,
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists,
In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit!
You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots,
You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock,
You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong,
I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!
Boo fucking hoo you're not the only one whose live's a piece of shit,
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it,
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists,
In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit!
You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots,
You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock,
You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong,
I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!
(You don't mean it)
(You MSI fans out there may recognize this... if Jimmy Urine, for whatever reason, is reading this, sorry. It's done to piss off those emo-kids you hate so much, so I assume it's excusable...)
That's about all. If he comes back bawling, I'll be sure to try something and put it up here... people like this, as others may think, are best ignored, but I find that destroying them mentally does a lot for comedic value, as they're no good for society any other way.