THE ZANY CLICHED HUMOR THREAD

[MattJack]

What's up fellas? So I guess the colts won the game, how about that? Wait, I don't give a shit.

Also, I was wondering..

If a viking and a samurai got into a fight, who's your money on?

[GADZOOKS]

the internet

[MattJack]

dial up?

[EisigerBiskuit]

I'm a loser and used a digital recorder for the game, and halfway through it jumped to the end and showed the score. OH NO THE BEARS LOST.

[MattJack]

Being a Louisiana boy, I had to go for the Colts. Plus Rex Grossman is a d*uch* *ag

[Sethomas]

I just had to support the Colts because they help pay my family's mortgage.

[Schimid]

I hate to confess that I really wasn't looking too hard at the Superbowl after the Ravens and Panthers got knocked out. I wanted the Bears to win only because I have an eerie dislike of Peyton Manning.

I thought they'd have no problem, as I've heard good things about the season and the team as a whole; finally, the game comes up and I get a good look of Rex Grossman and my head goes "oh fuck oh fuck"'

Seriously, what a runt.

[Goat Cheese]

hey guys stay on topic!

a Samurai might win purely on speen but is the viking using his brigands?

[MattJack]

hey guys stay on topic!

a Samurai might win purely on speen but is the viking using his brigands?

The viking is using his sheer god like size and willie's beard on 'roids. OK I GUESS HE CAN USE HIS BRIGANDS IF YOU REALLY WANT HIM TO WIN


PS
WILLIE/EXECUTIONEER DO YOU HAVE ANY VIKING PICTURES? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD GET SOME:rock

[Goat Cheese]

executioneer is already a viking.

[Fathom Zero]

He's a lumberjack.

[MattJack]

So the new question is: A lumberjack, viking, or samurai?

[glowbelly]

what about a ninja? huh? NINJAS NINJAS NINJAS

[Goat Cheese]

God forbid there ever to be a viking samurai lumberjack.

[Johnnie]

That's like watching big bird and the cookie monster duke it out. They're pretty much even.

[Goat Cheese]

no way man cookie monster can totally beat big bird!

[Esuohlim]

Sigh
..

[Goat Cheese]

Oh man I felt so down when milhouse posted because it felt like I let down Greg Kinnear.

[Chojin]

I have renamed this thread so that no one will ever again enter it, not knowing the hilarity contained therein

[noob3]

suck my cock

[Goat Cheese]

suck my cock



:lol2 :lol2 :lol2 :posh

[Johnnie]

I just read John Amaechi came out of the closet.

[Goat Cheese]

Thats news to me.

[kahljorn]

the samurai would win because vikings use heavy weapons and stuff and samurai's use fast weapons and heavy weapons can only be swung so many ways but samurai's have many and many of them are used only to maim, then kill. That's actually like the basic samurai idea maim then kill, and i think the good samurai's just kill. :samurai lessons

[MattJack]

the samurai would win because vikings use heavy weapons and stuff and samurai's use fast weapons and heavy weapons can only be swung so many ways but samurai's have many and many of them are used only to maim, then kill. That's actually like the basic samurai idea maim then kill, and i think the good samurai's just kill. :samurai lessons
But vikings played butt darts. That has got to count for something.

[Goat Cheese]

That vikings are better than samurai.

[Guitar Woman]

You guys have obviously never seen Zatoichi.

[MattJack]

obviously

[Goat Cheese]

But i've seen conan the barbarian.

[Fathom Zero]

The Blind Swordsman and the Chess Master.

One of the best movies period.

"Pirates or Ninjas?"

[Johnnie]

dude, there's not enough viking movies to compare. As a matter of fact, I've never seen a viking movie. Fuck hollywood

[Goat Cheese]

Pirates :pirate

[Womti]

He's a lumberjack.


is he ok

[Fathom Zero]

I've gotta find the evidence,

suffice it to say that he is, in fact, a lumberjack/Yukon Cornelius lookalike. when bearded. I swear by it.

[liquidstatik]

this threads so gay

[Grislygus]

As much as I hate to contribute to this thread, you fools brought up vikings, so I have to correct you when I say that vikings owned faces.

You about berserkers, I assume? They built up a tolerance to, then frequently used, Red Fly Agaric, the mushroom from Super Mario Brothers. This was the medieval equivalent of PCP, making the Vikings "unstoppable motherfuckers", according to Pope Stephen V.

Japs got nuthin'.

[Grislygus]

The entire quote, of course, being the famous line, "Holy shit, those guys are unstoppable motherfuckers," uttered by Pope Stephen on hearing word that the Vikings were looting the everloving crap out of Paris.

[Goat Cheese]

not to metion those kickass ships they had.

[kahljorn]

I've done fly algaric and it feels pretty similar to regular mushrooms except it doesn't seem to make you hallucinate as much.

If they were indeed doing fly algaric and received the same trip I did, and you were an enemy of the vikings, you would probably see a man bouncing gaily towards you with a large smile and ecstatic eyes. It's like bliss. In some ways bliss would seem like a better way to brutally kill a lot of people than SUPER PCP RAGE.

regardless, if a man with a large axe ran up to a samurai.. usually the first move a samurai will do if he's trying to be quick is a quick slice out of the sheath (desheathing and attacking at the same time) which could easily disarm a viking if he was carrying a heavy weapon.

I know facts okay.

[Grislygus]

Well I'll be damned. I was under the impression that it was fatal.

Which it is, apparently, to infants, now that I actually got off my ass and did some research. The theory of them using Muscaria was actually suggested by a Swedish professor, Samuel Ödman. He based these theories on the fact that Siberian Shamans used it.

Fucking Swedes, making me look bad. Can't trust 'em.

[MattJack]

If they were indeed doing fly algaric and received the same trip I did, and you were an enemy of the vikings, you would probably see a man bouncing gaily towards you with a large smile and ecstatic eyes.
:lol great mental image

[Chojin]

ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL ESPAÑOL

[kahljorn]

Yea I should edit that to say 'with a large battle axe casually rested on his shoulder' (if they used axes).

Fly algaric is actually legal in america and grows in some places in america. You just have to be sure you don't get the black ones, unless you're careful, because sometimes they can be confused with a poisonous species that looks similar. Some of the black ones are really good i think they are called panther caps or something like that. They are supposed to be the safe black ones I THINK.

other than that fly algaric is fine to take and honestly produces a blissful high. I've read the viking thing before, as well as this other dumb book about it being Soma, some indian mystic drug (either for immortality or enlightenment). Who knows if either are true, but it's possible. And really when you take it time seems like it slows down a bit and the air moves around you weird i could see why they'd think berserkers would useit.


you can order them online for about the same price you would buy normal mushrooms for.

[Lenor]

¿Por qué en infierno permitiría cualquiera este hilo para haber happaned aún? Im asustó por la falta del sentido que usted se siente ser chupado fuera de usted cuando aún apenas aprocaching la idea de posteing aquí.

[kahljorn]

i like talking about drugs, samurai's and vikings. I like this thread. fuck off, blowbles.

[Lenor]

kahl is a druggie, wannabe samurai, that was raised by vikings.

[kahljorn]

i like how you can't even speak a single comprehensible sentence in english but suddenly with spanish and italian you're like seabisquit all over the damned (key) board typing in international characters and shit.
MAYBE WE'VE UNDERESTIMATED LENOR. MAYBE WE'VE UNDERESTIMATED ALL STUPID DUMB BITCHES WHO POST ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD. I RECANT MY CANTOS.

[Lenor]

I take my foreign languages alot more seriously, you forgot french, and a touch of german.

[Johnnie]

Tu español es una mierda.

[Lenor]

Sadly enough Kahl was the only one to pick up on the use of translators, which everyone else struggled, atempting to understand what was said and how to speak back.

Never underestimate someone that is clearly obviousely the first to be choosen. ;)

[MattJack]

Dear Lenor,

I (as many others here I'm sure) would like you to please die. I don't really care how, whether it be a bus accident, a goldfish attack, or if you decided to blow dry your hair in the bathtub underwater. Please die.


Sincerely,
MattJack

P.S. Take Green Day down with you.

[Lenor]

Fuckin A' another request to kill myself, whatsoever shall I do?

Aparently being as new as our buddy matt is, he has seemed to forgotten that repetition really blows!

[MattJack]

Apparently since I've been reading this mother f*cking board since the ezboard days, I have always hated your posts.

Apparently you think since I've never treaded around this site you are going to pass me someone who's going to be all, "OHG MI GOD THEY DONT LIKE ME!!@#!" When I remember when you first diseased this forum with Assclowneria and the wit of a retarded John Stamos.

Apparently, you didn't do very well in spelling class, apparently.

Apparently, you need to know your role and get back to making some lucky toilet sparkle.

[Lenor]

Aparently you like to use Aparently alot.

[MattJack]

http://img154.imageshack.us/img154/208/jbjudge7dk.jpg
CASED CLOSED BY JUDGE JOE BROWN

[Lenor]

Vodka and pants pie!

[MattJack]

http://photos.lacoccinelle.net/60/18/206018.jpg
"BUT INSTEAD, I USE THIS NEAT EYELINER AND THESE NIFTY BLACK CLOTHES! WELCOME TO PARADISE!"

[MattJack]

he actually looks like Nikki Sixx's son now that I look at him :o

[Womti]

MattJack I would like to take this opportunity to call you sexy ;<

[MattJack]

I try. It's all about the grooming of one's mustache.

[Lenor]

Ohh great, turn another thread into a homo pride cyber humping session of post's.

[Womti]

but no one appreciates moustaches anymore. :tear

[MattJack]

Lenor, please come out of my closet.

[Lenor]

Im an all for the baby-faced boi's .. :love

especially when their 18 and all emo-ish.

Fuckin Sexy!

[Lenor]

That can be taken in so many ways.

[MattJack]

You could make a horse emo/suicidal

[Lenor]

You could make a horse emo/suicidal

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[Womti]

I think he means you're pretty :love

[Fathom Zero]

This is begging to be a tard fight.

[Lenor]

Zero, very true if you join!

Unfortunatly, I cant seem to find it in myself to pay any attention to anyone that has not even the slightest bit of inteligence.

A little bit of logical sense: Animals naturally have only basic instincts to survive, due to this, they have the inability to process how to commit suicide. Yes, a few animals have been known to show signs of depressive behavior, including dogs, cats, monkeys, ect. Especially when around human compaininship. But I do not belive their brains hold the mental capacity to think of how to commit suicide.

If they did, most likely, pharmacutical companies would be pumping out anti-depressants for them already.

[kahljorn]

they do make anti-depressants for animals.
not that i think that proves they are suicidal.

[Lenor]

Kahl, they seriously make anti-depressants for animals? Ive heard of steroids, since my doggy is old an has to take em' so hes ok, But ive never heard of that ever.

[kahljorn]

Yea.. supposedly. It's probably true, there's plenty of retarded rich people who keep their dogs in bags long enough for them to get depressed. Then they feed them their pizzles so they'll be happy.

[Lenor]

haha @ pizzles.

Kahl.. socialites tend to start the most ridicolouse trends. Once Paris Hilton got her tiny dog, every female/ gay guy in the 'scene' had to get one right after. Even britney spears got one, along with 2 kids, and a marriage to the biggest loser she could possiable find.

Soon after justin timberlake and camron diaz split. Interesting...

[Esuohlim]

:putslenoronignore

[Goat Cheese]

Hey milhouse! Hows it hanging?

[Grislygus]

I can actually back up the antidepressants-for-animals thing. The vet tried to convince us to buy some for our old parrot.

[Lenor]

Since when do you need to drug a fucking parrot?

That is sad. :/

[Grislygus]

Well, in all fairness, the little freak was absolutely batshitzania, so the vet naturally suggested something very expensive. We told him to go to hell, though.

[Lenor]

Most parrots are crazy anyway.

Good call though. I honestly would love to meet the idiots who actually fall for the need to feed their pet birds prescription drugs.

[SKATERMONKEY]

my pussy is on anti - depressents. It's because it was abused in its younger years. It has been several months before it would let anyone touch it. Its previous owners must have been real assholes to it. Theres also this spray you can get to spray the house with a and it makes it happy so it feels like playing and eating. There are also psycologists who have sessions with cats but the thought of a cat walking into their office and lying on the couch and discussing their problems makes me laugh. I mean honestly what do cats have to be stressed about all they do is eat shit and eat some more.

[noob3]

my professional opinion would be that your cat has been highly traumatized from your years of having sex with it

don't fuck cats!

[SKATERMONKEY]

im not into those kind of pussys, honest!

[noob3]

that's how your idol, vanilla ice, went insane and lost all of his money

"cat scratch fever"

[SKATERMONKEY]

How can he be my idol when I havent heard any of his music?
A lot of people seem to be more educated in the ways of the ice man than me.
p.s. I like ROCK, PUNK and METAL.

[Lenor]

noob ... :/ you upset me earlier today.

sure maybe next they'll come out with some valium for animals to take the edge off..

[Chojin]

We got antidepressants for my cat because he was pissing everywhere. It's actually a common medication for that, as the cat is pissing everywhere on account of him feeling threatened and anxious. He chilled the fuck out after a few weeks of doses, but it probably had more to do with our daily battles to make him swallow the fucking pill than whatever was actually in it. If I didn't get the pill down his throat JUST RIGHT, he'd do his best to spit it out and then start foaming at the mouth and screaming ;<

[Lenor]

How cute, your kitty has the same stubborn quality you do!

[liquidstatik]

hahaha ;o

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Damn son!

[Goat Cheese]

to quote the immortal Sam Jackson.

"great, snakes on crack."

[noob3]

i shoot k into my eyeballs

[Goat Cheese]

k? whats that?

[Fathom Zero]

BG 44K.

[kahljorn]

ketamene a veterinary tranquilizer
that stuff's great

[Lenor]

Ketamene: Used to induce a small animal, such as a cat, into temporary sleep.

Ketachloride: Used to induce larger animals, such as a horse, into temporary sleep.

There is also one used for humans, but I have forgotten what its called.

Comes in liquid form, which Is then steamed into a powder form, in which you then proceed to blow tiny 'key' bumps of. Done in excess amounts will put you into which is known as a 'k-hole', luckily for those idiots thinking they are god, will most likely not kill you, but only put you to sleep.

Also funny when putting a small amount in one end of a straw, and sticking it in someone that is unconscious nose, while blowing really hard on the other end up there. haha.

[liquidstatik]

that's not funny at all, that's horrible ;<

[Supafly345]

I think I saw an A-Team episode where Murdock did that to Mr T.

[Lenor]

Nah, its hillariouse, since K kicks in real quick. Besides its not as bad as some of the things my friends have done.

[kahljorn]

since when is the stupid assholish things other people do a yardstick for how to accord yourself?

[Lenor]

At 16 it was what all the 'cool kids' were doing.

[kahljorn]

yea but the question remains, how old are you now ;o

[Lenor]

How old do you want me to be? ha ha ha

[kahljorn]

hmm.. -7

[Lenor]

exactly...

[MattJack]

I've created a monster

[kahljorn]

WHEN U CRATE A MONSTER YOU BECOME A MUNSTER

[MattJack]

http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/d15c7356e2.jpg
MUNSTER TRUCKN

[Goat Cheese]

I love you MattJack.

[Blue Fox]

keep on truckin

[MattJack]

keep on munster truckn!

I was too lazy to make the band MUNSTER Magnet, I think they totally rock though! Eddie Van Munster can rip it! :rock