NEW MINIMOCK: "THE DEADLY BIRDS OF THE NES"

[Mockery]

Here's a piece that Dr. Boogie has been workin on for a while now, and I think it's one of his best yet. Simply put, it's a closer look at all of the enemies that existed in various Nintendo games that happened to be BIRDS. Birds attacking eskimos. Birds attacking ninja. Why were they so abundant in these games? Were they simply tools of satan? Was Hitchcock behind it all? Read the piece and perhaps things will become clear.

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/boxes/nes-birds-box.jpg (http://www.I-Mockery.com/minimocks/Nes-Birds)
"THE DEADLY BIRDS OF THE NES"
http://www.I-Mockery.com/minimocks/Nes-Birds

Enjoy!

-RoG-

[pjalne]

Fantastic stuff. Among the best Minimocks of all time.

[noob3]

:lol

He should have mentioned the ZOMBIE CROWS from RE, now those were some crazy fuckin' birds.

[FS]

What could be more sinister than an eagle spread-eagle?

:lol Great stuff.

[Jeanette X]

Andean Condor Attack at Ohio Zoo
by Donald Sazdanoff
Saturday, August 21, 1999
On Saturday August 21 1999 at the Columbus Ohio Zoo an Andean Condor attacked a 2 year 11month-old girl during the morning session of the "Wings of Flight" bird show. While on display at the conclusion of the show the bird leapt of off its perch and attacked the little girl from behind who was standing approximately 25 to 30 feet away. The girl suffered three puncture wounds to her left shoulder and scratches on her right side ribs and stomach. She also suffered numerous scrapes and bruises on her hands and knees when she was knocked to the ground. Her 4 year 10 month old sister who was standing several feet away was narrowly missed by the bird but was visibly shaken by the attack. During the show the Condor had been difficult to control as it flew off of the stage with its handler in pursuit. After the show before it attacked the little girl it attempted to bite its handler as he was pointing out various features to the crowd who had gathered to get a closer look and ask questions. The crowd is allowed to stand within reaching distance of the Condor who is only restrained by a tether which is held by a handler. The Andean Condor is the worlds largest bird able to fly with a wing span of over 10 feet and weighs in excess of 40 pounds. :chatter
(http://www.igorilla.com/gorilla/animal/1999/condor_attacks_girl.html)
The hummingbird, suprisingly, can be remarkably agressive, attacking other hummingbirds when competing for a food source.
Their flight speed in migration is about 25 MPH, but some males have been clocked at 63 MPH in dives, during aggression display flights. (http://www.learner.org/jnorth/spring1998/jnexpert/AnswerHummer.html)
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/Nes-Birds/humming-bird.gif
What could be more frightening than a bald eagle spread-eagle? This!
http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/gallery/2001/08/23/eagle.jpg
Bird of ray
An bald eagle attacks 3-year-old Kayla Finn at Hampton Beach, New Hampshire, USA. The beach-loving bald eagle, which has now been captured, terrorised beach-goers for over a week while it eluded state, federal and local wildlife officials' increasingly ingenious attempts to catch it. Kayla was quickly rescued from the bird by her father and was not seriously hurt.
Photo: Dave Lane, AP
(http://www.guardian.co.uk/gall/0,8542,534471,00.html)
The jungle crow lives in inner Tokyo parks and gardens and in recent years has started to take the offensive. New behavioural patterns are emerging. Over 1,000 crow attacks were reported last year, some of which drew blood. People have been knocked off their bicycles, while mothers snatch up their children and run when they hear the bird cawing above them. (http://www.theecologist.org/archive_article.html?article=421&category=68)

[Bennett]

buzzards and dreadful crows

[Mockery]

Holy shit Jeanette, you mean Dr. Boogie's piece about birds being evil incarnates was TRUE??? Egads, and all along I thought everything he wrote was based on shit that he pulled out of his ass. I might have to fire him... we don't want no facts here on I-Mockery.

[Jeanette X]

Holy shit Jeanette, you mean Dr. Boogie's piece about birds being evil incarnates was TRUE???
Well, no not exactly. Although bird attacks do happen, they are generally quite rare. Most of these are isolated incidents. The condor and eagle attacks are the only attacks from those bird species I could find. I don't know the rest of the circumstances with the eagle, but the condor was in captivity and far, far removed from its natural environment. Animals often exhibit abnormal behavior in captivity. And the hummingbird usually only a few grams, so you can just swat it off you like a moth. I couldn't find more info about the jungle crows, but I'm guessing that the aggression may come from humans feeding them, because that can happen with pigeons. A friend of mine was once chased by a Canada goose when she was a little girl. Seems she was feeding it bits from a doughnut and it decided it wanted the whole thing. The Ecologist article I read speculated that the jungle crow attacks may have also stemmed from competition for space.

Moral: Leave the birds alone, and they generally leave you alone.

[FS]

Yeah, that's all well and good but LET'S KILL EM ALL BEFORE THEY CAN PECK OUT OUR EYES, DAMN THE FEATHERED DEMONS AND A POX ON THEIR DARK HEARTS.

[Anonymous]

i didn't like it :<

sorry :<

[Mockery]

Chojin not liking something that Dr. Boogie wrote? Well this is certainly shocking news!

http://www.blockhead.com/brokaw.jpg
"Tonight on NBC Nightly News, I-Mockery forum regular 'Chojin' just reported that he does not like the latest piece by Dr. Boogie. This news has obviously stunned the world and we here at NBC will keep you updated on the situation as it develops."

[Anonymous]

I SAID I WAS SORRY :'<

[Rongi]

:lol

[Anonymous]

In other news, Raja loves my emoticons ;> :<

[Helm]

Dr. Boogie rocks. This was great.

[Schimid]

I love the fact he recognized "The Pit" I fucking hate those. :lol

[Mockery]

I can't even begin to count how many times the birds knocked me into the pits in Ninja Gaiden. They were so damned annoying. >: