Chimp's New Big Thread

[AChimp]

The best thing you can do for a guy is to let him down really harshly the first time. Saves us lots of trouble. :(

[OperationScuzBucket]

I know...but that's really hard to do and not come off like an evil bitch princess.

[AChimp]

Why do you care? You're not going out with him.

[OperationScuzBucket]

I have problems with hurting people because my conscience is messed up...I feel bad for things that I didn't even do sometimes. I save ants from pools. But yeah...that could get to be a real problem someday. I ended up giving away most of my money evety day at lunch last year because there were a lot of hungry people asking for money and I didn't have the ability to say no. It sucks. That right there shows the makings of a girl who will be stuck in an abusive relationship one day.

I sort of am already...This guy named Kevin dumped me about 2 weeks ago to screw his ex, but he said he was going to ask me out again when school starts...and I'm actually considering going back out with the guy. Bleh.

[soundtest]

Why the fuck do some girls do that? Why do they describe the situation they're in as if they're some outsider who is helpless to change it? Are you that desperate for sympathy?

[OperationScuzBucket]

I'm not totally helpless...I just have problems saying no to people when I know that it'll cause more problems later.

[Jixby Phillips]

Why the fuck do some girls do that? Why do they describe the situation they're in as if they're some outsider who is helpless to change it? Are you that desperate for sympathy?

HEY TROPICAL, DO AISIANS LIKE SPAGHETTI :eek

[Anonymous]

I'm not totally helpless...I just have problems saying no to people when I know that it'll cause more problems later.
That's because you have no self-esteem. And you're ugly. So come fuck me.

[OperationScuzBucket]

YAY OK :yum

[KILLADEUCE]

That's because you have no self-esteem. And you're ugly. So come fuck me.

:lol

...This guy named Kevin dumped me about 2 weeks ago to screw his ex, but he said he was going to ask me out again when school starts...and I'm actually considering going back out with the guy.


Why would you possibly want to do that?

[soundtest]

HEY TROPICAL, DO AISIANS LIKE SPAGHETTI :eek

HEY SOUNDTEST THE CHINESE INVENTED SPAGHETTI YOU FAG :eek

[Sethomas]

I don't care. I will NOT respect you until your language revamps its writing and gets rid of tone phonetics.

[OperationScuzBucket]

Why would you possibly want to do that?

I think Chojin put it best when he said that I have no self esteem. And Kevin likes me. So I dunno...I can't really do much better I don't think, so I might as well. :/

[soundtest]

YOU ARE A SPECIAL PERSON AND YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU FOR YOU AND DAMNIT GIRLFRIEND IF HE'S GONNA BE LIKE THAT FORGET IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED HIM!! YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT! THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA

http://www.geocities.com/iheartpopes/fish.txt

[Sethomas]

The best thing for a girl's low self-esteem is a collective of horny males who will laudate anything with two nipples and no penis.

Welcome to I-Mockery.

[FS]

Not everyone has the luxury of caring about the penis rule, Casanova. :rolleyes

Anyway. OperationScuzBucket. Don't be fucking stupid. You've obviously got common sense but you're not listening to it. Stay away from this guy, keep your distance, avoid him, that way you won't be swept off your feet by his lying, thieving, charming self. In time you will stop being such a girl and realize there's more to life than wifebeaters and looking pretty for them.

You need to lose that ZE-RO and get yo'self a HE-RO. :rolleyes

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Chimp = Carl :lol

http://www2.filmweb.no/multimedia/archive/00013/Billy_Bob_Thornton_i_13551a.jpg

[O71394658]

Carl is the best! :) >:

I 'ike dem' french fried pertaters.

[sadie]

This guy named Kevin dumped me about 2 weeks ago to screw his ex.

Kevin likes me.

low self-esteem? or just-plain-stupid?

[OperationScuzBucket]

He can like more than one person...I just didn't put out and he's a total horn-dog...but yeah I am being a complete idiot in doing this to myself, and I know that, so why the hell am I? Sometimes I confuse myself and then I listen to Butterfly from DDR and get even more confused. Hell I'm listening to it right now...it makes no seeeeeeense...but it's strangely addictive. Anyway yeah, I'm a bit of both in this case I suppose.

[jin]

IF HE LIKES YOU, WHY WOULD HE DUMP YOU TO SCREW HIS EX???

PS. Save ferris

[CaptainBubba]

MAYBE YOU SHOULD INTRODUCE ME TO KEVIN SO I CAN STAB HIM WITH A PENCIL IN THE NUTSACK SHOVE A RULER UP HIS ASS THEN WRITE "BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL" ON HIS STOMACHE AND DRAG HIM FROM A TRUCK BY A ROPE. >: >:

[OperationScuzBucket]

He's asking me back out when school starts...so he did like me, but he was just a horny bastard who needed more

and bubba- you'll know him soon enough...he's pretty hard to not notice at that school cuz he sticks out like a sore thumb...everyone is afraid of him (won't get into why...but you wouldn't be able to hurt him...when he pins you down, you don't get up)

[Esuohlim]

OMG CAPTAINBUBBA SHE'S GONNA INTRODUCE YOU TO HIM

[O71394658]

:chatter

[Baalzamon]

when he pins you down, you don't get up

You should watch out for that sort of thing ;)

[CaptainBubba]

OMFG. I AM SO GONNA HAVE TO TAKE STEROIDS AND GET MEAN NOW SO I CAN DO MY BACK TO SCHOOL PLAN. :GRRRR

But seriously, is he that much stronger than me? You do know I'm pretty fucking good at fighting right? This better not be another Random-esque, "omg hes so muscular, he could beat you up" type of thing like you've done before.

He better be pretty damn huge if hes really that scary. >:

Post your picture of Random. I don't have it anymore cuz of that virus. I want to illustrate your level of exageration with guys being big and muscular.

[Protoclown]

Girls like a challenge as much as guys do (or don't). If a girl knows you like her and are obsessing over her she'll either a) get bored if she liked you, or b) get creeped out if she didn't. Act like you just don't give a fuck and you have better things happening and she might be interested. Brush her off! Make it look like you're a real mover and shaker! All about attitude and balance. But wtf do I know... my advice is listen closely to any ladies that replied here.

That's bullshit. Maybe some girls do like a challenge, but to think that they all do is ridiculous. I certainly don't like a challenge as far as love is concerned, I want it to be fucking easy. Hell, I'd be happy if I was assigned a standard-issue government wife. I refuse to play any of those silly, immature psychological games with the opposite sex. Maybe that's why I've never had any luck, but if that's the case, what you say could be true. And I don't believe that.

I think Chojin put it best when he said that I have no self esteem. And Kevin likes me. So I dunno...I can't really do much better I don't think, so I might as well. :/

Okay, so if you can't do any better, why put up with him at all? Wouldn't you be better off ALONE than with an asshole? That's what I don't get, when people think they HAVE to be with somebody, anybody, so much that they are willing to settle for the first bag of human crap (thank you max burbank for that wonderful phrase) that comes along.

[CaptainBubba]

All I know is come Fall I'm gonna rip me a brand new peice o' Kevin-ass. >: >: >: >:

And I'm still waiting for the picture of Random Bi-otch. >: >:

[sadie]

i agree that soundtest's advice is bullshit, but i also realize that most women actually do love a challenge. hell, it'd work; it might even last if the attracted party is as fake as he. if she's stupid, he may not even have to be that great an actor. (keep quiet and she'll just think you're the "intense and introverted" type.)

but why the fuck would anyone want an intimate relationship built on superficiality? i'm all for some games, but not foundational ones. ;)

Hell, I'd be happy if I was assigned a standard-issue government wife.
this is as fucked-up as aforementioned advice. :(

[soundtest]

I refuse to play any of those silly, immature psychological games with the opposite sex. Maybe that's why I've never had any luck, but if that's the case, what you say could be true. And I don't believe that.

Believe whatever you want and do whatever works for you. Ofcourse no advice is applicable to ALL individuals. My advice is based on my own personal experience, which may or may not reflect the general population (I tend to end up with nutcases... parallel???? which is why I suggested listening to WOMEN about this shit). All I know is this: generally speaking, the majority of girls that I REALLY REALLY REALLY liked did not give me the time of day or (even worse) saw me as a really great 'friend'. However, the second I stopped placing them in the center of my universe or became interested in someone else, guess who started calling?

but why the fuck would anyone want an intimate relationship built on superficiality? i'm all for some games, but not foundational ones. ;)

This is so fucking true. The second I meet a girl that does not follow the pattern I mentioned I will propose to on the spot provided she can beat me one round in Capcom vs. SNK 2 without being cheap.

[FS]

Operation, maybe he likes you, but he sure doesn't respect you. If you're comfortable with those terms, you'd better prepare yourself for a lifetime of dicksucking.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

:lol

[jin]

Sagat, Eagle, Blanka.

[KILLADEUCE]

Operation, maybe he likes you, but he sure doesn't respect you. If you're comfortable with those terms, you'd better prepare yourself for a lifetime of dicksucking.


Fs man... you sure have an eloqeunce that i fucking cant help but admire... Well put.


Fact is , going back to that guy is counter-productive. And proto is right you're better off alone than with some shmoe that'll treat you like shit.

[Protoclown]

Hell, I'd be happy if I was assigned a standard-issue government wife.
this is as fucked-up as aforementioned advice. :(

I was just using that as a metaphor about how easy I would prefer love and romance to be.

[AChimp]

It would be really good if the government would custom build a wife for me.

[soundtest]

Nothing cheap about that. :love

[kellychaos]

Bits and pieces and ... bits and pieces and ...

http://www.movieprop.com/tvandmovie/reviews/weirdscience.jpg

[Cosmo Electrolux]

you don't want a wife...what you want is a rubber fuck doll...:)

[soundtest]

Nah go for silicone.

http://www.realdoll.com/image/mai/mai03.jpg

http://www.realdoll.com/image/charlie/md01.jpg

[KILLADEUCE]

What i really need is a russian/Korean mail order concubine...

Holy shit Soundtest that girl at the top is fucking Beautiful- Whoa she is a doll??? WHA??

If you guys wanna see some fucked up sex dolls the Japanese take the cake- Comes with complimentary Fecal matter!! SweeeeT! (Hu-Eckkkk)-

I'll warn you all now this shit is nasty- No pun intended:

http://gold-exp.hp.infoseek.co.jp/engcoll1.htm

(its NSFW so i didnt img it)

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"Holy shit Soundtest that girl at the top is fucking Beautiful- Whoa she is a doll??? WHA?? "

:lol So very very sad.

[Schimid]

THE JOKE'S ON YOU! :lol

[KILLADEUCE]

Well c'mon... For a fucking life size latex doll She looks pretty well made....

Sad: YEs.
Ashamed: No.

At least i'm not the one owning a godamned Latex look alike of Gary Sinese- Who-ever is rolling with that one is the SAD one my friends...

[Schimid]

OH, NEVERMIND :lol

[FS]

A video of someone having sex with one of those dolls would probably be the funniest thing ever (especially if they talked all the while). At least, for the first thirty seconds. After that it would probably just get creepy.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I imagine it would be like fucking a corpse....I think...

[AChimp]

A warm, vibrating corpse. :love

[Cosmo Electrolux]

no maggots either...a bonus in my book. :)

[Royal Tenenbaum]

You guys should share one.

[sadie]

maggots: we put the f-u-n in necro.

[OperationScuzBucket]

on bizarrenews.com:


--------------- Blowing it Out of Proportion ---------------

A Brazilian man killed his parents because they demanded he
divorce his inflatable "bride." He believed a blow-up doll
was a human being, considered it his wife and talked to her.
His religious parents demanded he separate from the doll,
but he would not listen. When his mother took the doll and
cut holes in it with scissors, the man strangled and stabbed
both his mother, age 71, and father, age 70. The 44-year-
old unemployed man confessed to the crime after an interro-
gation by police. "My parents didn't love me and didn't
understand me," he was quoted as saying.

:lol

[Big Papa Goat]

I don't love, nor understand that man. I hope he doesn't try to kill me next :chatter

[kellychaos]

Sadness is a latex beastiality sex toy. :(