i-mockery awards?

[soundtest]

have there ever been i-mock awards? i'm think like nominees for best/worst newbie/vet/villain, nicest mocker, biggest wannabe, person who posts too much, person who posts too little, etc. i guess the possibilities are endless. OR SHOULD I JUST GO FUCK MYSELF :lol

[Professor Cool]

I say both. >: :) :) >:

[soundtest]

i'm going to kill myself and PM you my account password. noone will be the wiser as long as you keep your mouth shut... ;)

[Professor Cool]

As long as you let me put CHiPs in your avatar.

[soundtest]

Tough but fair.

[Professor Cool]

It part of my new Evil Plan Version 86.5 "Bonus Soundtest Version"

This should altogether somehow will help me get women :(

[Cap'n Crunch]

Wait a second, this I-Mockery awards thread is turning into a Professor Cool thread. >: I like it.

[Lenor]

Biggest poser- carnivore
Best person on the board- Noob/blackflag
Most creative- Chojin
Nicest person- willie
Person who needs to post more- (dont know dont care)
Person who needs to post less- (dont know dont care)
sexiest person- broverg (damn I miss you ;) )
Person I would love to meet- Everyone from the old board

[HickMan]

I think the ideas good. :)

[Carnivore]

I would nominate Lenor for biggest waste of bandwith, but she doesn't post that much (fortunately).

I'd nominate her for person whose opinions matter the least, but VinceZeb owns that category.

I'd nominate her for poorest spelling and grammar, but there are people out there who manage to do worse somehow.

Holy crap. Lenor sucks so badly that she can't even win an award for sucking!

[Schimid]

...:(

[Rev. Danno]

Lenor, I'm from the old boards, & sure as hell don't wan't to meet you.
Don't talk shit about Carni, he can't help it... the man was raised by wolves. Plus he's been on the boards 10times longer then a shit load of you.

[Jixby Phillips]

BLAH BLAH BLAH

[noob3]

carnivore sucks, he proves that even the stupidest of newbie s can stay somwhere long enough, get a fag elitist attitude and make up boreing sarcastic replies. fags

[TeRRaNuSER]

:/

[pissed off salesman]

Forum racist-Choptop

[Carnivore]

Your disdain for me brings me great joy and satisfaction, Noob3. I'll explain why by quoting something I said in response to Vinth not long ago.

If a complete idiot thinks you're an idiot, does that make you smart? If so, I'll take that as a compliment.

You are not a Mocker, Noob3. You're unfamiliar with the comaraderie many of us share. You've never met anyone from this board. Until a general consensus exists that you would be welcome at a Mock Meet, you're just a poster, and a crappy, bandwith-wasting one at that.

[noob3]

what the fuck? okay, darth vadar. i don't even know what alot of those words mean.

[Schimid]

...:(!

[pissed off salesman]

In lamen's terms, "NOOB3" which quite clearly apply to your level of "intelligence", he just told you that you are a complete fucknut, a poser mocker, and should leave and never post again.

[noob3]

why would he say that? i never even said i was a mocker, so i don't know how i can be a poser mocker. i'm here to be nice to my friends like lenore and blackflag and chojin

[pissed off salesman]

They are not your friends, they just want your sweet, sweet, feces.

[noob3]

and ppl say IM retarded

[pissed off salesman]

thats because you clearly ARE retarded, and you seem to have a slight bit of penis envy.

[Black Flag]

you really don't have much room to criticize mr. salesman. by carnivore's standards you aren't a mocker, either. on top of that, i can't recall a single time you've said anything remotely entertaining.

[Mike]

You've never met anyone from this board.

And it's everyone's loss, in my opinion.

[Schimid]

OKAY, WELL, WHO'S THE BEST MOCKER GUYS?

[Professor Cool]

RONGI :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

[Carnivore]

And it's everyone's loss, in my opinion.

Errrrr... exactly who the hell are you?

[Anonymous]

Actually, Carn, most people like noob, and think you're a pretentious donque-snorkler. I only like you in real life :<

[Carnivore]

And since when do you speak for most people? You do have quite a following here, but most of your followers are, much like Noob3, a bunch of unfunny, immature, easily-impressed half-wits. I find you to be thoroughly unimpressive. Their, and your, opinions mean nothing to me.

I did like you in real life after our first and only meeting, but I doubt I would if we were to meet again now. It seems to me you've changed quite dramatically since then, and not for the better. Maybe you need your medication readjusted....

[ScruU2wice]

:eek look chojins avatar changes color... what an age we live in :picklehat

[Anonymous]

Grow up. You don't have to hate me forever because I think you act online like an old man whose paisies are forever being stomped by the neighborhood youth. We've kept in touch since our 'one and only encounter' by phone, and I still think you're a cool, high-pitched guy.

From a raver to a professional EMT, show some maturity.

[Carnivore]

I need to show some maturity? This from the champion of childish humor and the defender of the utterly brainless? You're like a counter-evolutionary force, encouraging those who used to be quickly devoured and sent packing to stick around and start three dozen absolutely worthless threads everyday. Your "neighborhood youth" should be carted off to juvenile hall! I do my damndest to ignore their utter idiocy most of the time, but sometimes this "old man" needs to break out his shotgun and take aim at a few of the kids on his property.

I deleted your number from my cell phone a while ago.

[Big McLargehuge]

This is better than tv

[Ch0jin]

Why don't you all just die please.

[Anonymous]

I was going to post a picture of a cartoon dog showing you its vagina, but Scott can't find the link and I don't want it on my server.

Well, I really am sad to hear that you apparently hate me. I liked you.

But yes, I think it's ironic too. Orville Redenbacher filling my anus with popcorn is the sort of humor that distinguished old men chuckle at while enjoying Werther's originals, while only the mentally retarded can appreciate something as low as a comic about Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker thwarting Protoclown's rape attempt on Roger.

As for which of us needs to repeat high school, is it the person that parties and can take a joke, or the hubristic jackass that delivers insults otherwise found at especially vigorous chess club meets?

[McClain]

Getting defensive.

[Anonymous]

I'm not trying to 'win' this one, I really am upset

[jin]

http://popndeth.chambergates.com/imock/chojinno01.jpg

PS. I dont even live in the same country as you all!

[Carnivore]

Mock and Proto are funny. Our Mock War battle was funny. Immature humor can occasionally be funny... so long as it doesn't descend to the pre-kindergarten level. "This is NOOB3 and I's gay sex thread (http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=5655)" and "hi (http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=5674)" are not even remotely humorous.

I can parade my friends in front of you and they will tell you I'm always a welcome party guest and am more than capable of taking a joke. A gay nurse at Lowell General Hospital actually got quite a funny one started about me while I was on vacation.

I wouldn't say that I hate you. I just have very, very little respect for your opinions. I know what you are capable of, and I will always consider you a worthy adversary.

Edit: Loose URL tag got left in there.

[Mike]

Errrrr... exactly who the hell are you?

I'm a guy named Mike, who thinks you are an elitist board geek. Does that answer your question?

[Anonymous]

Don't talk to me anymore. You have no idea how many times I've defended your character to (no doubt 'horribly distasteful') people who saw you as the complete tool as whom you come off online. I don't get why you waited to tell me I'm suddenly not worthy of your friendship until you could do it in relative public, but if I imagine it has something to do with the fact that your girlfriend is ugly.

LOL CHILDISH HUMOR LOL LOL LOL

Fuck you.

[Carnivore]

Awwww, that's cute. You think your opinion counts.

As for being an elitist, I'm not. I don't really expect much. Coherence, restraint, and an inkling of maturity will suffice.

[Mike]

Oh well thank you so much for letting me know that you care.

[jin]

CARNIVORE:
"I CAN TAKE JOKES AND LOTS OF PEOPLE LOVE ME AND I HAVE GAY FRIENDS SO THERE"

You party ANIMAL.

You come off as extremely pretentious and arrogant, and immature.

Go on, tell all the kids on the playground how you're not chojin's friend anymore and you deleted his number!

"Coherence, restraint, and an inkling of maturity will suffice."

It is too bad you seem to lack these qualities as well, can we hear more about how you are the life of the party please? And later, how many girls youve done and how big you penis is?

Please, you reek of eliteism(sp?) and appear to be a total ass. And not the fun type either.

[Carnivore]

I need to address Chojin's comments. Let's just think about the way people act on and off these boards. Generally, they're different. If certain people were as mentally deficient in their everyday life as they are in their posting here, I shudder to think what would happen to them. I'm different too, but not too much. Away from I-Mockery, I am probably quite a bit more relaxed and tolerant and even a bit immature from time to time. When I say a bit more tolerant, however, it does not mean I would give the time of day to anyone who acted as idiotic out on the street as some people act here. I will never understand why certain people feel the need to act like imbeciles here when I'm sure they're quite cool otherwise.

I'll need to complete this tomorrow, as I'm exhuasted at the moment. I will, however, offer my apology to Chojin. I deleted the phone number on a whim and I don't consider you unworthy of my friendship.

And it was nice of you to jump in on Chojin's side, jin, but he doesn't need help and you have no idea what you're talking about.

[jin]

I understand that it seemed like i jumped to chojins side, but really i was only posting my opinion, and i agree with you in some aspects, but "I dont know what im talking about"?

I was only responding in relation to the posts of yours i have read and i did not try go into anything personal and certainly nothing relating to you and chojin, only my opinion of the persona you use on this board as it is the only one i know, and please take it as such, i admit it did seem a tad biased, but then i am protective of my friends, either here or in real life.

The comment on you and chojin was just me commenting on the immature way you seemed to respond rather than your friendship/lack-of/etc.

[LegoLars]

blah blah blah, Im sorry.

_^^_

But you know what?

You're a BIG FUCKING DICK Carnivore.

[ItalianStereotype]

who fucking cares if carni is acting like a dick? people on this site should be made of sterner stuff. he may be conceited, but he does it well and it is part of his charm.

chojin can act like an asshole too, but that is when he is in top form. nobody ever bitches about that.

[Jixby Phillips]

I'd like to give noob3 the THE UNSURPASSABLE UNEQUIVOCAL UNMITIGATED FUCKTARD AWARD

http://www.geocities.com/jixby_phillips/ftaward.txt

You will now wear this award like a big red scarlet letter labled "F" for "Failure, fucktard, newbie for life"

I mean, look at it! there's skulls in it! :imock

[soundtest]

It is my birthday and I'm out of control... I am irrelevant...

:love Chojin :love

:love Jin :love

MY DICK IS SMALL AND I AM NOT A MOCKER

[Rev. Danno]

Wow, I actually forgot how much of an ass Carni is, I forgot that he attacked me the time I joked about how I was raised by wolves and ow that was his shtich, I forgot that he was a third grade baby made out of gravy. Maybe it's because I genrally skip his coments because he really has nothing interesting to say. Just because someone has been posting forever doesn't mean that what they post is worth a damn, Kinda like just because the simpsons has been on for so fucking long doesn't mean it's still a good show anymore. Not that I'm saying anything I post is funny. I think the last funny thing I said was back in 2000 when I was making fun of xJakex (straight edge isn't a lifestyle, it's a tool for making sure you don't draw crooked lines... hell it was funny at the time). Sometimes the Old schoolers are as bad if not worse the the newbies (this board sucks, back in '99, now that was a good forum! Blah, blah, blah). forgive my typos (or not) I've had too much to drink...

[FS]

This thread is a suicidal clown.

[Mockery]

My thoughts on the situation...

First off, I think half of you are too new to know anything about Carni since he hardly posts anymore, and you're just quickly hopping on the "let's bash him" bandwagon. He's not elitist... he's a hardworking, meat-eating, human-killing EMT with a good sense of humor. Believe me, I've played plenty of jokes on him and he took 'em well. He also mocks in a way that a lot of people used to mock on these boards back in the day and I definitely share his opinion about how there are still a high number of completely useless posts on this board. The only thing he apparently thinks he's better than is people from the south, but anybody that works 90+ hours in a week, voluntarily visits Disney World, and listens to Creed (hahah we'll never let it die, Jeff) can't be playing with a full deck anyway.

As for Noob3, I don't hate the guy, but yes... he's one of the guilty ones when it comes to making said completely useless posts. So if he gets an award for anything, it's having the most posts deleted in recent times. I know he doesn't like it either, but I said I would be more strict with these new boards, so tough shit, Corky. Hell, I'm probably not nearly strict enough.

Now with Chojin. I've never had a problem with Chojin. I do think he has been overemotional at times, and considering the somewhat drastic changes of his in the past year (oh the irony of seeing him bash ravers a while ago only to become one of them) I think the boy is quite confused. But that comes with youth, so I just shrug it off and hope he'll grow out of it sometime. He's still basically the same Eric underneath all of that hideous crap that he wears. He just appears to be trying to fit in with something, and he probably does flaunt it a lil' bit. Regardless, he's still the Eric I've known for quite a while and he can keep putting on all the crap he wants... it's not gonna change my opinion of him. I simply think he's still very young and trying to figure out who the fuck he is.

-RoG-

[Pub Lover]

...you are an elitist board geek.
He's not elitist... he's a hardworking, meat-eating, human-killing EMT with a good sense of humor.
I'm condescending and a bit of an elitist. I don't deny this. I make distinctions between Mockers and people who merely post on the I-Mockery boards. I hold everyone to the same standards. Some make the grade, many do not. The degree of my condescension varies with the amount of idiotic crap on the boards. The greater the volume of idiocy and dumbassedness, the shorter my temper. The type of imbecile for which I have the least amount of patience is the type that thinks it's funny to get a rise out of a Mocker. There's nothing funny about acting like an ass and pissing someone off. There's no talent involved in that. It's no better than flooding. It's absolutely childish. Yet so many damned fools around here continue to do it. They're like fucking abused creatures that keep coming back for another beating. Whether the reason is masochism, immaturity, or being too stupid to realize they're making a mockery of themselves, it's just pure stupidity

[sadie]

you people have made my morning.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

When the fuck did Chojin become a raver???

I'm a newbie again, aren't I??? :( I'll be in the corner........

[NIGhtMAre]

wheres my award?

[Schimid]

GOODNIGHT, DRIVE HOME SAFELY. >:

[CaptainBubba]

Schimid wins

[Mockery]

When the fuck did Chojin become a raver???

I'm a newbie again, aren't I??? :( I'll be in the corner........

You mean you missed all those photos? Oh man, you've missed some good ones. :)

[mburbank]

i am the best mocker anyways so fuck all of yous in the a-hole

[Schimid]

YOU BASTARD

[KevinTheOmnivore]

When the fuck did Chojin become a raver???

I'm a newbie again, aren't I??? :( I'll be in the corner........

You mean you missed all those photos? Oh man, you've missed some good ones. :)

I feel so distant, so cold. :(

[slavemason]

Which one will receive the "Defender of Feelings" award?
You are some touchy-feely folks, aren't you?

I'd like to nominate myself for "Most structured spam"

Thank you all so much
I can die a happy man
Esuohlim hates me :/

[Anonymous]

From now on, any posts made referring to Carnivore must include a picture of him with long, hippy hair and a Creed T-shirt, and any posts made concerning Chojin must include the picture of him with boobs that I can still see whenever I close my eyes.

[noob3]

My posts are awsome, even if they are useless. You delete them, but let all of KellyChaos' new "LOOK AT MY NEW HILARIOUS POST!" posts stay?

i just don't understand :(

[mburbank]

my posts is always bestest, poopy face

[Jixby Phillips]

I agree with noob. There are a ton more people here that are MUCH better candidates for deletion. There are people here (read: non-idiots who are worthy of deletion themselves) who actually like noob3.

[ScruU2wice]

i only saw one of noobs threads get smited, i thought it had good potential :( And it was deleted right before the "hi, im new " thread cale setup, i felt a great injustice was done...

[mburbank]

easy for you to say Jixby phillips since your ruiened this whole board.



That's the award for you. Most likely to ruine this whole board. The envelope please, oh it's Jixby Philips, no surprise there, excpeting for Jixby is cuba gooding with a boner.

[noob3]

haha cuba goodign sux

[mburbank]

Shut up poontant you ruiend this whole board

[Jixby Phillips]

you need to work on your spelling!

[noob3]

fuck u man u r the one who was talking about all the inside joke stuff that nooen got except u and like were always yelling at the cool people about oregano or something i dunno

[Mike]

So Carnivore is not an elitist because he works hard? He sure acts like an elitist online. What's this supposed to mean then: "Awwww, that's cute. You think your opinion counts." The reason why my opinion counts is because I care about what's genuine and good, and I am willing to improve myself to become a quality contributing member of this community. I work really hard too and I don't think hard work has anything to do with it. Most people in the world work hard. It's not an excuse for being an ass.

Noob3 on the other hand has a completely different style. His posts appear to be simplistic but he can frequently say a hell of a lot more in one sentence than I or many people can say in two or more paragraphs.

[Carnivore]

I just bought a 55" widescreen HDTV for my apartment, so I'm in a fantastic mood!

I didn't really expect this to explode the way it did. I don't think I'm wrong in being as... harsh as I am at times, however. You react to what you see. I'm sure I'd act very differently off these boards to people like Noob3 because I'm sure he must act quite differently off these boards. If I met someone who acted like that out in the real world, I would most likely ignore them or, if that wasn't possible, tell them to fuck off. That's what I generally do here with those I consider bandwith-wasting dumbasses. I ignore them or tell them to fuck off. I am probably less likely to lash out offline, but for the most part I do not have dual online and offline personalities. I'm no hypocrite. Many of the veterans no longer lash out the way they used to. I still do. Hate me for it if you wish. Better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. If my standards are too high for some people, cry me a fucking river. Make it a river of blood. Blood rivers kick ass.

As for Chojin, I think Mockery stated it quite well. I echo his sentiments. I was probably way too hasty in deleting his phone number. I seem to recall him saying something that pissed me off regarding these boards during the course of our last conversation. I overreacted. Still, I liked his online personality better in the past.

So... yeah.

By the way, I don't brag about girls or sex or friends, jin. I only mentioned that in response to what Chojin said. I've had the same girlfriend for three years so there's nothing to brag about :/

Edit: Girls Gone Wild! (http://www.nebraskacoeds.com/sosa/neb/jan03/ssshhh.htm)

[mburbank]

that was really sincere which is what i liked about it.



the part i didn't like is that there were no titties.



can you put a picture from any of the 'girls gone wild' films into that same post? because those are good films and would offer a nice 'counterpoint' to the sincerity.

[slavemason]

http://www.grassfire.net/17/images/pledge3.jpg

[mburbank]

It's WAY more fun to hate you all! Try it. You'll see!





Today I hate Carni and Krythor and Jixby most off all becuase they make me happy and happiness is an invitation to having you SOUL CRUSHED!!

Let go of your dreams! I did and I lost three hundred and sixty eight pounds!

[Anonymous]

I did like you in real life after our first and only meeting, but I doubt I would if we were to meet again now. It seems to me you've changed quite dramatically since then, and not for the better.
Regardless, he's still the Eric I've known for quite a while and he can keep putting on all the crap he wants... it's not gonna change my opinion of him.
I think Mockery stated it quite well. I echo his sentiments.
...

I don't think I'm wrong in being as... harsh as I am at times, however.
Then what are you offering an apology for? I'm not unwilling to accept one, but it'd certainly help if it was sincere.

I seem to recall him saying something that pissed me off regarding these boards during the course of our last conversation.
Uh, I don't remember that either, but whether it did or didn't happen, you have my AIM name, you had my phone number, why didn't you try to talk to me about it in person? Or say something the moment it 'occured' instead of harboring all this black rage (http://www.newsaskew.com/amymanga/amy_man3.jpg) and blowing up in my face about it over nothing? This also ties into all that maturity-or-lack-thereof crap that was being tossed back and forth last night.

Regardless, I'm already one post over what I said I had in store for this thread, and if Carnivore or anyone else wants to talk with me about it, there are a bunch of little buttons under this that help you do just that.

[mburbank]

Know how to make a poontant float? Ice cream, seltzer water and two table spoons of ALL YOU SERIOUS BASTARDS.

[Krythor]

Seriously Burbie? Can I call you Burbie? There is a PM button that you can use and we can talk it through any time. It's unhealthy to keep things bottled up. You'll feel fresher than a Summer's morning if you let it all out.

[McClain]

This is radical.

[mburbank]

Unless you brought Cuba Goodings Boner with you, you better shut the fuck up, Mclain. 'Cause this house is coming down! I AM STILL JENNY FROM THE BLOCK YOU SON OF A BITCH!

[Evil Robot]

I'm just glad that nobody mentioned my name in this thread, cause I really need to be die. Somebody please ban me, or at least claim that I never contribute to things in a positive way.

[mburbank]

Don't try any of that reverse psychology here, poontant.

[Esuohlim]

ATTENTION: THE GUY WHOM EVERYONE LOVES (I.E. ME :picklehat) HAS ENTERED THE THREAD :eek

[soundtest]

http://www.azfunnypictures.com/images/surprise.jpg

[Rongi]

woah

[sadie]

max is the dreamiest.

[Carnivore]

Or say something the moment it 'occured' instead of harboring all this black rage and blowing up in my face about it over nothing? This also ties into all that maturity-or-lack-thereof crap that was being tossed back and forth last night.

There is no "black rage." There never was. It was a gradual loss of interest. I don't want to offend you, but the more raver-esque you became, the less I wanted to hang out with or call you. It's not that I consider you unworthy. There simply exists a terminal lack of common interests.

[McClain]

The bigger your boobs got, the less I wanted to hang out with you, too, Chojin. And My Little Pony Raver Pants.

Wait... We never hung out!

[Dole]

Thought For The Day: Its only the fucking internet, get a grip.

This board was much better in the future,when we were all dead.

[mburbank]

I know I will be! I'm not 'half in love with death', I am SMITTEN, BABY!

Oh, and thank you SO mcuh for ruining this awesome thread, Dole.

[Dole]

I knew you had one foot in the grave....It would seem you have stuck your winky in there also.

WAY TO RUIN MY RUINING OF THE THREAD, RUINER

[mburbank]

Nice ruiniation of the ruinage.

And like a crocodile, only my eyes and nose peek out above the rim of the grave. What I've done with the top of my head is anybodies guess.

[Dole]

http://data1.bsmgr.com/CBMImage/X/0D2Y9XEZ.JPG

[mburbank]

Today you are indeed the wind beneath my wings, Mr. Dole.

[Dole]

In reality, I think I am more the adult diaper adjacent to your anus.

[Lenor]

Carnivore I would love to mention the fact that you indeed wanted to meet me, as well as half of the 'old school' mockers did. Ive kept in touch with a few of them, weither it be on here or on the phone. Everybody used to get along at one point or another, now it just seems the board has gone to shit and is one of the reasons I dont post on here anymore.

Sure you can say that iM a waste of bandwhith, but there were a few post way back when we did stick up for each other, a year ago, yes, ive been on this board for almost 2 years now. So get over it allready.

Chojin changed for the better I belive, he stopped careing what everyone though of him and did his own thing, which I extremly admire in him. As much as I admire in Noob and blackflag for doing their own thing and not careing what pretensiouse assholes like you would think. You may be 'cool' outside the board, but you need to grow up inside of it. Your post are getting worse by the second and your comments to everybody else, take off the mask. Your just as big of a whine ass as most of these people on here.


But I guess we all cant be cool emt's and work 90 hours a week and talk about all the dead people we encounter.

[The_Rorschach]

You know, I found this thread thoroughly amusing even though I didn't recognize the majority of those whom posted in it. . .

There used to be a chick who would argue with R. Raygun maybe two, three years ago, when I was lurking before I started posting. I liked her, but I can't remember her name. I would nominate her as the person who doesn't post enough.

[Carnivore]

For Christ's sake, Lenor! Could you not let this thread just die? I swear I hate you more each day!

I'm so happy that you like how Chojin, Noob, and Black Flag don't care what other people think of them. To thine own self be true. Better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. Do you think I care that the fucktards that contaminate these boards hate me for ripping into them? I don't fucking pander to the idiot masses here to get popular. Do you respect me for being myself despite the opposition?

As for your assertion that I'm pretentious....
http://us.st5.yimg.com/store4.yimg.com/I/demotivators_1737_873066

[mburbank]

I like coffee,
I like tea
I like Carni on I-mockery
I like Lenor and chojin and me
and everyone can be the way they be.


HEY FUCKERS! LIGHTEN UP! I HATE YOU ALL VERY, VERY MUCH AND I HOPE YOU HAVE BAD DREAMS AND WET YOURSELVES A LOT!!

This board is just this board. I am so serious. Chomp my bag already okay? The best offense is to be offensive.

Any of you who take anything that happens (ie is written) here seriously in any way shape or form have forgotten that this is I-Mockery and not I-serious or I-real or I-truth. And this board was WAY better when people remeberbered that, back in the good old days before the person who's reading this right now fucked it all to hell and back.

SO THANKS FOR RUINING THIS THREAD, TARD CHUNKY!

[CaptainBubba]

Coffee SUCKS. >:

[mburbank]

First of all, no, and second, if it sucked as well as being a delicious revitalizing beverage, it would be just bout perfect and I could get that divorce the wifes been begging for!

[Geggy]

I can't blame your wife. I cannot imagine how much she has to put up with you. I wouldn't even last 5 minutes with you.

[CaptainBubba]

I SIT CORRECTED. >:

[Rev. Danno]

Dude, no one talks to Max Burbank like that!
Luckly we're on the internet, where eveyine has a voice, but nothing you say really matters. So say what ever you want. I heart Everyone on this board today... I am a Badger!

[Carnivore]

This is a picture of me hating Lenor... with a Ninja Turtle pop.
http://home.comcast.net/~carnivorous/TurtlePower.JPG

[Lenor]

Still ugly as all hell..

[mburbank]

He's cuter than me!

[Carnivore]

This is a picture of me contemplating the depths of my hatred for Lenor while on a Viking longboat.
http://home.comcast.net/~carnivorous/VikingSmall.jpg

[Lenor]

max nobody is cuter then you ;)


I love the hatred, so lovely!

[Carnivore]

And nobody is a bigger waste of space than you. Don't make me post more pictures of me hating you when I get back. I have dozens.

[The Retro Kat]

If it makes you feel any better, I hate you...and nice goatee.

[hobo]

carni has a cool face.

[Big Papa Goat]

Carni's pics make me wish I was gay.

[Jixby Phillips]

yeh rite you just want an exucse to suck cock faget

[Perndog]

You need an excuse? :blowme

[Jixby Phillips]

go join the fat party

*edit i meant fag party

[ziggytrix]

I always assumed Carni's overstated hatred for Lenor was rooted in no real emotion greater than boredom.

[george]

i think max should take back that part about how he is funnier than me and then called us all assholes or somethings.

CAUSE IT HURT ME IN MY SALTY PARTS.

[mburbank]

STOP BEING A GAY HOMO POONTANT, GEORGE!



During the late eighties when I was doing three or more Improv shows a week (and having no idea that this was the abslute height of my 'career') I regularly introduced myself from the stage as "Max Burbank, The Funniest Guy Alive."

I thought it was funny to tell people what they had to think of me before doing anything at all.

I'm not sure anyone in the audience understood I was experimenting with meta comedy and I can't think of any reason why they would have. But I'm all about the theory now and I was all about the theory then.

Which probably explains why my car is still not paid for snd have the time and inclination to write crappy little comedy pieces for the friggin' internet.

[baxter building]

ok,
so i stray into this weird little site and read through this thread- thinking that 'awards' nominees would give m an idea of what the sight is about and so far I have mre questions than before i started reading...
'what is a poontant and is the man who keeps using the word insane?

did chojin and Carnivore date or something? that's some lovers's tiff going on there.

and not so much a question but an impression that you are all a bunch of mentalists.

[mburbank]

Thanks for ruining this thread, poontant.

[baxter building]

i get it.
you lot are all arguing about who is the best because they have been here longest and i am really new so you are not going to acknowledge anything i say.
well that seems a bit of a lame approach.
you are all bemoaning the loss of quality people from the board, why don't you try and encourage new quality.
you sound like a bunch of old timers moaning incesantly about the younger generation. why don't you just go down to the old folks home and get your kicks there. you will fit right in. right down to the smell of urine and groping the young nurses.

[kellychaos]

GET OFF MY GRASS POONTANT!!!!

[baxter building]

funny, i read through your little rule book and it seemed to suggest that i would find lively discussion on these boards not puerile drivel.
maybe all those people who used to post here 'back in the day' left for a good reason.

[Big McLargehuge]

*nudge* Hey guys, he doesn't "get it"







Like i am one of the guys :rolleyes

[baxter building]

oh i get it.
I get that this is a 'mockery'.
the sight looks good, it promises things like a 'mock war' and yet all i get is one liners that my cat could spit up.
where is the hate kids.
jeez, maybe i was wrong, at least old farts have some bile.

[Perndog]

Start a thread saying "Hi, I'm new!" and you'll see the hate. ;)

[KevinTheOmnivore]

Oh God, shut up. If you don't like the board leave. Enough with your "puerile drivel."

[baxter building]

Kevin. i didn't say i didn't like it. i was responding to the malaise you board members seem to have. or maybe its another case of 'shut up newbie. only us old folk are allowed to criticise the board.'

what was so great about it before anyway? i bet all you did then was bicker and moan but perhaps with a few fancy words thrown in.
whenever a 'scene' of anysort is created, whether its kids united through a musical style, a love of comic books or just simple computer nerds there will always be some people who will hark back to when it used to be so much better. Its a way of validating the ego, of claiming authenticity of saying 'fuck you i was here first- get to the back of the line new kid.'
i mean how many times have you mentioned a band you like to someone only for some annoying twat to say 'yeah well ofcourse they were much better befroe they signed to a major'.

what happened to offering a step ladder down to the people who are drowning in a sea of boredom?

[KevinTheOmnivore]

It's an internet message board. You shouldn't rely so heavily on it for your kicks.

If it's boring, then leave. If it used to be better, make it better, or leave.

So yeah, shut up newbie. >:

[Perndog]

It's not the site's job to entertain you. It's your job to add some entertainment, or at least try to and fail (like me and Big Papa Goat).

[baxter building]

but if no one engages with each other outside of one liners how can there be the sparkling debate i desire. if i have to provide all the juice then maybe i should go back to debating 'Satans role in Milton's epic poem 'Paradise Lost'. But I just wanted not to have to talk to myself for a while.

it seems my joke in the other thread about poo seems to be the level you operate on here- but that is what the older board members seem to criticise and yet where are they when they have a chance to say something else. it is perhaps a delightful paradox.
[/quote]

[Perndog]

Sparkling debate. (http://www.i-mockery.net/viewforum.php?f=5)

I nominate baxter building for the clueless whiner award, and myself for the needs to get a real life award.

[baxter building]

crikey this is harder than i thought.
I question the motivation of some people on the board who are slagging it off and I am the whiner?

but as an outsider I suppose I havent earned the right to criticise it. and so I stick at it, pumping away like an obese man on a dead hooker and still I get nowhere.

come on, I am sure ther's life in the old hooker yet.

[Krythor]

You stupid cunt. Your pseudo-intellectualism isn't fooling anyone.

If you want to debate the rise and fall of Lenin, either start a topic on it in the philosophy forum or go elsewhere.

[mburbank]

Well, blimey! I mean I'm very, very smart, and I think about the things we smart people tend to think about, but cor! I mean, I know I'm an outsider with a tremendously witty comic book refernce user name that I'm quite put out you didn't all immediately make note of and think marvelous, but slag me off a whingey poo fest!

I mean, chips, mate! Lorry! Lift! Wassat you blokes call a rubber then? An 'ee-ray-ser'? Well now. I'm waiting. By now you surely recognize how wonderful I am.

I mean, s'truth, I doubt I'd recognize a bit of the old irony if took off me bowler and shoved me brolly up me arse! Come on! Baxter Building? Baxter building? I'm brilliant right? Bluh-dee-hell I am if I'm not! Drop right into the convo, dun' I? Instant exceptance 'coz I'm brilliant, right? I mean, I'm not just some pretentious little bit of shag dribblings, I mean Baxter building, right, Baxter building? I'll tell you what all, you need to love me right away or I shall be very cross.

[baxter building]

ok. so you are all very defensive of your board. thats got to be a good sign. but you are all so quick to leap on the outsider that no one has answered my orginal point which is :
why are some of you fighting about 'how good it used to be' and in one case 'how good you used to be'. or is that really it? the answer to my question is that you all just like fighting.
If that is the answer than i must say that I do quite enjoy it myself.
and i am not trying to be clever. i am clever. maybe not in your computer nerdcore sort of way but i think theres enough of you aorund for that.
still, i think i will take a wander to the philosophy forum, although i hold out little hope of find enlightenment there.

pip pip old boy.

[Big McLargehuge]

I liked you more in the old days like 6 or 7 posts ago.

[imported_Hollycaust]

Hi, I nominate Holly for the 2qt stylin' and profilin' award. Do I see a raise of hands in opposition? Oh, none. Thanks kneegrows~!~@~

[punkgrrrlie10]

ok. so you are all very defensive of your board. thats got to be a good sign. but you are all so quick to leap on the outsider that no one has answered my orginal point which is :
why are some of you fighting about 'how good it used to be' and in one case 'how good you used to be'. or is that really it? the answer to my question is that you all just like fighting.
If that is the answer than i must say that I do quite enjoy it myself.
and i am not trying to be clever. i am clever. maybe not in your computer nerdcore sort of way but i think theres enough of you aorund for that.
still, i think i will take a wander to the philosophy forum, although i hold out little hope of find enlightenment there.

pip pip old boy.

Please don't. Just leave before the boredom kills you. It will be a better choice for you. really, I'm just thinking of your best interests.

And the reason it used to be better, is you used to not post.

[Perndog]

Of course newbies don't realize that we just went through a week of like fifteen different "The old days were better!" threads, all of which were sarcastic. :rolleyes

[sadie]

y'know, baxter, they make pills for that sorta shit nowadays.

[Big McLargehuge]

Being British?

[Jixby Phillips]

Ahoy Baxter!

All that talk about things being better was done in irony and meant to make fun of people who do things like that!

The fact is, This board never used to be good, it was always very bad!

Anyway, enjoy the boards! I hope you stay a while!

[kellychaos]

You all aren't helping. >: :irony

[mburbank]

No one will answer your 'point', elitist holier than thou tea bag, becuase you can't answer somone's point. You answer questions, you adress points. I'd have thought a smarty pants like you would write better.

It was all just for laughs, all right, Lord Sir Jump-in-the-middle; Admittedly a huge shocker at a place called I-mockery. I know it's not in your colonial sun never sets attituide to actually absord the local culture before pontificating like a zepplin with a leak, but if you can't stand the heat, get out of India.

The only thing worse than being clever is feeling you need to tell people you are clever, Mr. Clever.

When you wander over to Philosiphy, try buttering your head. You might be able to squeeze it through the door.

Oh, and if you're british, I'm the queen. Revolting, bepimpled, Monty Python Memorizing, overweight, friendless, parents basement dwelling, New Jersey comuter college student seems more like it.

Now, please, take this to heart, be very serious in assesing it and get all huffy that we didn't all roll on our backs and wet ourselves in puppy like submission at the sheer brilliance of your magnificent entry to these boards.

[baxter building]

now that's all i was after. someone that took the time to vent a little. doesn't it feel better. aren't the rest of you now reading that post by fantastic Max and think; 'yeah, you tell him Max'.
Vicarious living is great fun, but come on kids dig in.
Maybe I have been a little unfair, you haven't got much to go on after all. You can only assume that a might be British and i something of a comic book fan.
what if I let you into a little secret.


ready, its a shocker.
i don't have a dick. its true, i was born a 'no tail'. Tragic I know but I lived for 29 years with this appalling state and i am finally coming to terms with it. see, everywhere you go, even on the so called 'liberating' web where you can be who you want to be people still assume you a piece of flesh dangling between your legs.
well, only one of you got it right,
whoever it was who oh so eloquently called me a cunt.

[mburbank]

While I enjoyed "Gentlemen", your oblique reference only confirms everything I've already gathered. I concede for the sake of argument that you might actually be british and in the same sense your alleged womanhood.

You think you're funnier and smarter than you are, you desire negative attention and seek to define yourself through oppositional behavior, Your ready, even eager to judge yourself superior based on a cursery reading of a few posts, utterly ignoring the fact that anyone who can write at all can change the way they come across at will.

Shut up more often, try participating in conversation, soak up the local culture, ease in instead of instantly setting yourself up and begging for approval, which by the way there are better ways to get than being a weiner, wether you have one or not.

[Perndog]

"pontificating like a zepplin with a leak" :lol :bestthread

[baxter building]

the game is afoot.
I feel like a drawn out the ace in a pack of cards by engaging Max.
and you are quite right, good writers can totally change the way they come across-take on a different personality if you will. One moment i might be Gideon Stargrave, the next king Mob. i like to tailor my responses to the audience/competition.
however since I am engaged in what i believe is called a beat down than I have little option to come out fighting.

[Perndog]

You know, it's called a beat down because it's about you getting beat down. Otherwise it would be called a "fair fight".

[baxter building]

but for you honey its called a 'beat off' as you press your strange little cock up to the screen and think about all mockers you would love to stick it to.

[Perndog]

That post gives me the impression of the cocky bigheaded grad student giving up the keyboard to an annoying 13 year old. Can't you find some happy medium?

[baxter building]

as i said in another post, I tailor my material to the audience.

[Perndog]

One sleeve is too long, the collar is choking me, and the buttons don't match up with the holes. You suck as a tailor; I want my refund.

[FartinMowler]

Every person from England that has landed on this site gives me a head ache. >: I think that the British have some brilliant crime and drama's but nothing funny has been going on for a very long time (Mr.bean is somewhat amusing :/ )

[glowbelly]

omg.

it's cherry. :eek

not really...

but MAYBE :eek

[FartinMowler]

Max liked her for some reason so I won't say anything (pop).

[Dole]

"nothing funny has been going on for a very long time (Mr.bean is somewhat amusing )"

-Jesus, if Mr bean is funny to you you dont deserve our decent comedy (eg Brass Eye, Jam/Blue Jam, Partridge, Bo Selecta etc etc)

[MK IV]

Can I get a rewind...

When I say Bo , say selecta !

BO !



and Dole dont forget about Peter kay's Pheonix Nights , The Office , have I got news for you , Steve Coogan in general etc.

[FS]

And Benny Hill, Dole. And Benny Hill.

[mburbank]

Don't get to self congratulatory, there, Jax. Oh, hell, go ahead. It's the only congratulations you're going to get. There are only two reasosn I pick on somebody right when they show up. They have to be either a complete evil fuck or someone completely in love with themselves who's every post proves just how little there is to love. My favored punching bag is both, but he's tking a little time off for group therapy. It's a small group, him and six therapists.

"Oh, Oh, I'm so brilliant in one instant I could be one cheap ass pop reference and in another I could be a completely different cheap ass pop reference, and all I have to do is make the reference!"

You're just another A-hole who thinks they're avante garde 'cause they could REALLY appreciatte Douglass Adams and their comics are all silver age back issues or Vertigo. There's nothing wrong with any of those things, but liking them doesn't make you all strange and wonderful and mysterious and if you were all strange and wonderful and mysterious you'd stop clearing your throat, pointing at yourself and say "Aren't I all strange and wonderful and mysterious?" Stop being such a stale, windy hosebag nd try just participating.

[kellychaos]

Shut up more often, try participating in conversation, soak up the local culture, ease in instead of instantly setting yourself up and begging for approval, which by the way there are better ways to get than being a weiner, wether you have one or not.

Yes! Be a maxi-pad ... with wings for extra absorbency. :)

[mburbank]

I tried one of the brands with wings. My ass migrated south for the winter.