dungeons and dragons horror stories

[Emu]

I recall once reading a thread on some forum many a year ago where people posted stories about horrible people/experiences during DND games and it was pretty funny so I hope to rectify this here

I don't care if the stories are true as long as they're believable. so START

[Seven Force]

And don't copy stories from SA because ILL KNOW

[Emu]

I SAID POST A &^%#ING STORY

[MLE]

Emu, I'll have to report you to the censorship committee, seeing as this is the safe for work forum.

This is your verbal warning.

[Sam]

Isn't every Dungeons and Dragons story a horror story? :rolleyes

[Emu]

I got excited, sorry :(

[MLE]

Next time it happens, you'll besitting in the corer for 3 minutes.

[rhythmdepot7]

Not so much a horror story, but I've now got a house rule that strictly forbids blue afros.

[AChimp]

My rogue failed a Will save and got sent to the Realm of Madness once. I declared it faggotry on the part of the DM and my rogue's identical twin brother immediately joined the party. :posh

That's not really a horror story, though. Sorry.

[Chojin]

I once played a game with a guy who kept trying to use the Walls Of Jericho on every enemy he fought, even if the enemy was a barrack full of elves.

http://z.about.com/d/actionfigures/1/0/H/B/wf01463.jpg

[noob3]

I was jerking off to some elf porn once!

[Evil Robot]

I once beat the fuck out of this kid named Chris Tulapano. I'm pretty sure he played DnD. Does that count as a horror story?

[Cfr5]

No, because you're now a hero.

[liquidstatik]

I once played a game with a guy who kept trying to use the Walls Of Jericho on every enemy he fought

my friend had that same strategy, like, a week ago. ;o

[Sacks]

I once played a game with a guy who kept trying to use the Walls Of Jericho on every enemy he fought, even if the enemy was a barrack full of elves.


Awesome, totally awesome.

[Jeff The Ninja]

I once played a game where the DM was a furry.

He was wearing the suit and everything.

[Emu]

Explain

[ItalianStereotype]

my cousin came to visit me one time and brought all of his fatty friends with him. they think that they're REALLY vampires and played dungeons and dragons all night. normally this wouldn't be a problem, but they ate all of my macaroni and cheese, doritos, chicken strips, bologna, string cheese, toaster struedels, pop tarts, chocolate milk, and so on. of course, nobody touched my fruits or my vegetables, but in a matter of hours four people managed to eat food enough to last ME two weeks.

[Guitar Woman]

Did they refer to themselves as Danpiels at any point :x

[ItalianStereotype]

man, I don't think so, but they were all like "I AM LADY NIGHTDARKBLOOD" and so on

[Dr. Boogie]

I used to play DND with a few friends of mine in college, and unfortunately, one of my friends wound up bringing his smelly, man-child roommate to a session a few times. Apart from being foul-smelling and generally annoying, he had this nasty habit of snorting every now and then, so my friend and I starting rolling listen checks after each one. I think he was 3 for 70 by the end of the night.

Later, I stole a d20 I found in his stuff because he was always talking about how he didn't have any die of his own. True story.

[FartinMowler]

I went to a house and these guy's were playing DND and one of them swallowed the polyhedral dice and later his friends penis :lol

[Chojin]

do laugh on, fartin.

[PvtJourney]

Not a horror story, just something really funny. I got into DnD in the Army barracks at Ft. Meade (Not too far from Laurel, I went there a few times!), and it was 5 big army guys and me turning the study classrooms into a DnD conference room, complete with a "big table" made out of 7 desks put together. Nothing's funnier than watching a 6'3" male in full Battle Dress Uniform pantomime drinking the ump-teen potions his mage is using.

[Chojin]

I accidentally drove into the Ft. Meade base once and they treated me like a wanted man :<

[Magreaux]

An old (former) friend of mine joined the Navy three years ago and upon doing so became a big macho toughguy who commenced to joke with his newfound Navy friends about how I had a bunch of D&D books when I was 10 years old, and how that alone makes me a massive dribbling faggot. So then he and all his Navy buddies would send me endless irate myspace messages (lol) on their time off, all frothing at the mouth with the intent of "ripping me a new one" on account of my gradeschool faggotry. Later on the guy went AWOL and ran up to me in a grocery store asking if he could borrow some money for a plane ticket to South America, where he could hide from THE MAN.

That's about the most horrific D&D related story I could remember. I hope it's not too disappointing. :\

[Jomb]

I used to play Dungeons & Dragons on the 2nd floor of an apartment which had no plumbing. One time in the winter a guy had to pee really badly but did'nt want to miss anything or walk a half block in the snow to the nearest toilet, so he pissed out the window. This became a regular thing. Then one day a girl was also playing and she had to pee really badly so she did it out the window to by basically having her lower half out the window. The 2nd time she did this she lost her grip and fell out the window breaking her leg and fracturing her hip. She had to explain to her family and the people at the hospital why she fell out the window and had urine all over her. She also was about to go to basic training to join the military and was no longer able to be in the military due to her injuries.

[liquidstatik]

you're such a liar, girls don't play d&d :x

[Zomboid]

Butch military girls might.

[Supafly345]

Camacazio says that there were some good times getting drunk and playing DnD.

[Jomb]

The female was not a regular player in our D&D game, she was the GF of one of the players who insisted she wanted to take part. They split up right about then....

[Zomboid]

Camacazio says that there were some good times getting drunk and playing DnD.
Camacazio also told me that he longer enjoys fun.

[Evil Robot]

Due to your last D20 roll, you arte safe from black peaople

[Evil Robot]

A black man is exactly two hexagon things in front of you.

Attack 0
Attack 0
Defend -12
Attack 0
Attack 0
Defend -7

You have died.

[Supafly345]

Camacazio also told me that he longer enjoys fun.Well Camacazio mentioned to me that your sister has a really loose asshole.

[Zomboid]

My only sister died in a car wreck three years ago, so she probably does by this point!

[MLE]

Come on, it's not like you're JERSEYBOY

Not EVERYONE can be awesome and have a dead relative.


Unless you're ScruU2wice




Or Juttin.

[Emu]

My uncle died the other day :\

[glowbelly]

one time i played dnd and my boyfriend got mad at me because i wasn't SERIOUS enough

[Max Radical]

you're such a liar, girls don't play d&d

I think you'll find that a girl prepared to piss out a second floor window in front of spectators will do many things that surprise and confuse you.

[Jomb]

Well, she made us look the other way, and it was in a semi-rural area late at night so there probably were'nt any spectators... still it was kinda unlady-like.

[Blue Gularis]

I actually did play Dungeons and Dragons with a girl back in high school. She was cute, too. Eventually she stopped coming to our sessions because we couldn't stop staring at her breasts.

Horror story: In college there was this jackass who horned in on our D&D group. He was really annoying and everybody hated him, except the Dungeon-master (who he kissed up to endlessly) so we put up with him. We called him "Gimme" because every time anyone found something good he would try to come up with some angle why it should be his, even if it was something his shit-eating half-elf wizard couldn't use.

One day my dwarf fighter fought a pretty major monster solo, some kind of uber-gnoll anti-paladin thing. Gimme was in the same room running around looting chests instead of helping- yeah, that was real 'lawful good' of him. I rolled really well and managed to crit the thing, killing him with one blow- he dropped a sweet enchanted axe for my troubles. Now here comes Gimme, wanting my new axe! I told him to shove it up his ass and he got offended so he had his character make a ruckus which brought about thirty gnoll guards in. Then he went invisible and my character died in the ensuing lop sided fight. The prick!!!

Everybody loved my dwarf fighter and enough was enough. We stopped the session early, took Gimme down into the steam tunnels beneath the campus and sacrificed him to Satan, slowly with a pocket knife.

After that we all got girlfriends and stopped playing- thanks Satan! ;)