Your weirdest dreams?

[All Hail Duke]

i dreamt that dave hester (storage wars) was talking about cheating on his wife, denying and finally admitting it, then talking about potentially losing his auction house

i watch that show too goddamned much

[Dimnos]

As I read that, I imagined his wife walking out on him while he yells out monetary bids to convince her to stay.

[Big McLargehuge]

As I read that, I imagined all the time boring fucks like yourselves spend slowly rotting in front of awful television.

[Zhukov]

So I was a rugby playing burglar, and I had to steal museum pieces whilst playing rugby. The goods were scattered around the outside of the playing field - and between them and the field there was a never-ending pit... during half time or whatever my team mates and I hung over the side of the pit while we made plans to steal things. I don't know why.

I went sneaking around to steal stuff, and someone on my rugby team whom I considered an ally (actually a throw away acquaintance from primary school) dobbed me in to the authorities after he was caught himself.

I was given a lecture about how stealing affects the community, and I retorted with how everyone should enjoy the museum items, not just the rich.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that Tadao posted some big long thing in the General Blabber forum about how he was tired of all of our crap and basically wrote a long list where he attacked every single one of us for something or other.

[Tadao]

I do that every night in my head.

[kahljorn]

i remember that thread

[Kitsa]

I was neatly folding spinach leaves in parchment paper, ironing the folds and sending stacks of them to a bank via drive-up tube.

[Kitsa]

Trapped in the attic of a bookstore, calling down for a ladder, and the owner said he would trade a ladder for a hug.

[Esuohlim]

Dreamt I got the job I've been wanting for two weeks >:

Not weird, but fuck that shit

[Kitsa]

Weirdly enough, I had the exact same dream when I took a nap this afternoon. I also had a strange feeling that the guy looked familiar, but I couldn't place him. After probably too many hours of thinking about it, I realized he was a cast member in the last Rocky Horror I went to, the one that called for me not to leave because I was the only audience member they had.

In the dream, for some reason, I am in either a second-level room of a shopping center or an attic of the guy's bookstore. There is a hole or open hatchway in the floor and no way to get down. When I call down asking if he has a ladder, he asks what I'll give for it. Somehow a hug is negotiated.

I could write a romance novel that starts that way and make maybe hundreds of dollars.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I had this dream where you know that iphone app for running that brings up your position on gps and tells you there are zombies and you have to outrun the zombies. it was like that except instead of zombies it was packs of champions and elites from diablo 3. Fuck desecrater jailers ruining my fucking workout in dreamland.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that I found a little dachshund puppy in my grandmother's backyard. I was sad when I woke up and he wasn't real :(

[EisigerBiskuit]

I was crawling on the ground and collecting teeth, putting them back in my mouth.

[Kitsa]

Dreamed that I went to take my kid for kindergarten readiness exams and, lo and behold, my old boss was in charge of them and wouldn't let us do them.

Guy's even a bastard in my dreams.

[Kitsa]

Dreamed I went back to high school, but it was a completely different school by a river. They told me that I was to just stick to my (in-dream) old schedule, but I'd been gone so long I didn't know what the hell that was so I was basically just wandering hoping I would find the right classroom, wanting to just blow off the classes because I was so far behind, not having been in high school for 17 years now, that I couldn't possibly pass them.

Some of the dream was standing on the riverbank looking for Mothman, and only seeing Canada geese.

Some of the dream was Fathom Zero sending me a letter on beautiful vellum that was patterned with grass leaves, telling me he did not believe I spoke French because he had never seen me speak it, so then I wrote him a long letter in French explaning exactly why and how he should go fuck himself. But I kept the letter because the vellum was so pretty.

Part of the dream was my one of my old bitch bosses coming out of a bathroom stall and me waiting there and slamming a stall door in her face and going YEAHHHHHHHH and running the hell out of there before she regained consciousness.

Woke up with a headache :(

[Kitsa]

I must have incorporated the idea of Zhukov wanting to run a Black Books into my subconscious, because I had a dream in which he walked up to 3 skinheads and said, "Which one of you. Bitches. Wants to dance?"

Now, of course, I have to watch the entire thing over again.

[AChimp]

I dreamed that I was watching this little girl fight a tiger in a circus ring. She won by biting it in the throat.

Then I was cleaning my toilet.

[Kitsa]

Some sort of dream-movie in which David Huddleston was playing a resort owner trying to sleep with an employee, played by Jennifer Lawrence. After much sparring and outsmarting she laughed and said, "Sorry, but they say God Himself is standing in line" and he chuckled and gave up.

It was a good movie other than some weird parts about grinding cinnamon sticks and ordering books at a special price.

[LordSappington]

I had one last night where I had a pet rat, but it was the size of a large chihuahua, and acted more like a dog. Then I had another where I found a baby deer, and for some reason it already had some kick-ass antlers. I took it home and it was my buddy.
I think this is my brain telling me to get a pet.

[kahljorn]

get a pet oppossum

[Kitsa]

Dreamed that, not only had mr kitsa never gotten rid of an apartment he kept in a super 8 motel, but had forgotten he still owed rent and was several years in arrears. The whole place had become overrun by roaches and there were even rats in the microwave. Much of the dream was me trying to see if anything was salvageable before the place was bulldozed.

[Kitsa]

Something about Uganda selling some sort of shitty substandard chocolate to flood the Greek market (?). I have a vague recollection of someone opening a bag and peeling it away from a large, melted cluster of chocolate balls that looked like grapes.

[Kitsa]

Bunch of mini-dreams about alterations my grandmother made to her house. Her house is a lot like the Winchester mansion irl, so all of it seems perfectly likely.

The first dream, she became obsessed by the idea that someone might sit on her white living-room furniture, so she walled off the whole room and painted the wall bright blue.

In the second dream, she replaced half of her bedroom floor with a trampoline. Because the carpet was covered in about 6 inches of dust and because the trampoline fabric was the same color as the carpet, I didn't realize it at first until I was sinking down into it. It got more transparent the further down you went so I could see the basement below and I was pinwheeling my arms thinking wtf.

The third was of me being awakened by the son of the woman who goes to her house to cut her hair, and wondering why the hell she was having her hair cut at 3 in the morning.

No idea why I would have all of these dreams, but like I said the odds of one of these events happening irl are not negligible.

[dextire]

I finally had a weird dream! I got tazed at jury duty for shooting someone with a nerf gun. I grabbed an old guy with pacemaker while being shocked and it killed him. So I had to stand trial for involuntary manslaughter that same day to a judge in a purple ape suit.
Turns out fever plus cold medicine makes for weird dreams.

[Kitsa]

that'll do it

[darkvare]

i bought a men's magazine and has a tutorial of how to have dreams with chicks in the magazines i'm gonna try that shit tonight

[kahljorn]

:lol

[Mad Melvin]

I dreamt that the tip of my penis fell off. I was not happy about this.

[darkvare]

this is not a dream but my brother attacked me with a pillow last night :/ i hope for his sake he was sleeping or else

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that I had to give some big speech-type presentation on what I think was guacamole. It included a musical number. There was a steady stream of advisers coming to my old house, including BD Wong and a high school teacher of mine who died the year I graduated. I was laughing because I could not figure out why anyone wanted me to give a speech and sing a song about guacamole, or take it that seriously.

[dextire]

I really want to hear that song and speech. :xmas1

[Kitsa]

Dreamed I was in a car and suddenly Jeff Bridges and some woman drove past in a jeep filled with giant watermelons, some cut into the shape of a headless and armless torso. Whoever was driving the car yelled, FOLLOW JEFF BRIDGES, and we were off to what was like the world's biggest outdoor summertime festival or something.

The path leading to the festival was covered with green outdoor carpeting and ramped upward sharply, and as I got to the top I saw that it was one of those giant slides like you see at carnivals, and they were routing people down the two staircases on either side of it. There was also apparently a BMX competition going on, and the kids were tear-assing down the slide as a ramp. My daughter started to wander over to go down the slide and one of the kids on bikes about came down on top of her, causing me to make a grab for her and go tumbling down the slide myself.

Didn't see Jeff Bridges again, but there was some Amish kid in a tent selling all of the old furniture we had in our house growing up, right down to knicknacks I forgot even existed. My mom was in one of the tents looking at our old kitchen table from 30 years ago, saying she thought she remembered seeing it somewhere before.

[replicant]

Dreamed last night that I lived in a living Steampunk snake. I was sitting in the library sipping tea, pouring over books and eating scones.

[Tadao]

Interesting how you make no mention of what this incredible snake was doing or what you did with it. Was that all you could remember about it? That would suck, having a steampunk animal would be way more fun than drinking tea and reading.

[kahljorn]

he was living inside of it and it had a library and scones inside of it :O

[Kitsa]

I think he is a she

[Mike Tobacco]

He or she, you really have to love and trust someone before you let them give you a steampunk snake.

[kahljorn]

ill give her a spunk team snake

[Kitsa]

Something about being around a crowd of Harvard assholes and making the bad decision to find common ground by telling them I had also gone to an ivy-league school. But they didn't think my school was cool so it was just sort of pointless pretentiousness.

[Nick]

I dreamed about Phil Hartman the other day. I had dreamed that he had some how managed to avoid being murdered by his wife or that we had brought him back to life. Then we needed to figure out a way to come up with an excuse to explain away why he would fake his death or pretend to be dead for so long. Jon Lovitz was basically no help at all.

I have no idea why I would dream about any of that. It was weird.

[Tadao]

Ive been heavily invested in hockey and the show The Following. Last night I dreamt that a cult of five or six people in all black with ski masks had someone pinned down on the ice and covered so that you couldnt see them. There were puck size holes cut into the cover and everytime a team on tv won, they would shoot a puck into the hole and kill the person they had pinned down.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I had this dream where I stopped these teens from mugging this old lady. Then I bear the shit out of the teens. While I had one of them in a headlock some more thug teens showed up to the fight. I kicked them in their asses while having the first one still in the headlock. Then I kicked that first teen in the ass too.

I thinm I'm just getting old now which is prompting the teen beatage.

GET OFF MY LAWN

[Kitsa]

I had a dream where someone showed Samuel J Jackson a documentary on bronyism and he took deep personal offense to it. He made it a personal crusade to break into the houses of bronies and scare them in an attempt to snap them out of it.

I've forgotten a lot of the dream but there was one part where he broke into a guy's apartment dressed as Jules from Pulp Fiction, slapped a guy wearing a Rainbow Dash hoodie and yelled YOU A GROWN-ASS MAN.

[Kitsa]

Something about trying to hang onto a spinning wooden wheel about 50 feet from the ground, parallel, just trying not to get flung off. Sucked.