I hate Christmas

[Guitar Woman]

:grinch

[pac-man]

http://noearthlyuse.info/albundy.jpg

"I hate Christmas. The mall is full of nothing but women and children. All you hear is 'I want this,' 'Get me this,' 'I have to have this' . . . and then there's the children. And they're all by my store 'cause they stuck the mall Santa right outside ringing his stupid bell. As if you need a bell to notice a 300-pound alcoholic in a red suit. 'Ho, ho, ho,' all day long. So, nice as can be, I go outside, ask him to shut the hell up. He takes a swing at me. So I lay a hook into his fat belly and he goes down. Beard comes off, all the kids start crying and I'm the bad guy."

[Supafly345]

You must not have any money to buy presents.

[LittleDollClaudia]

I loved the fact that even the angel played by Sam Kinison couldn't give him a reason to live. But thank the gods Al is spiteful enough to stay alive just to piss everyone off.

[DevilWearsPrada]

http://i526.photobucket.com/albums/cc350/Fogellthorpe/darko.jpg

"Sometimes, I'll just put it on mute and think about fucking Christina Applegate"

[executioneer]

feces

[Zomboid]

http://i526.photobucket.com/albums/cc350/Fogellthorpe/darko.jpg

"Sometimes, I'll just put it on mute and think about fucking Christina Applegate"

I definitely did that a lot when I was like, 12.

[SuzyfromFlorida]

Things were bad last year (money-wise) for my father. So on Christmas morning he went outside, shot his rifle into the air, and came back and told all of us that Santa had committed suicide.

Luv, Suzy!

[Mockery]

I honestly think Married With Children is way funnier than a lot of people give it credit for. Right around the fourth season or so, that show became gold.

[pac-man]

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c311/gkalmus1/AlBundy.jpg

'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
No food was a-stirrin',
Not even a mouse.

Stockings were hung round
Dad's nick like a tie,
Along with a note that said,
"Presents or die."

Children were plotting
All night in their beds,
While the wife's constant whining
Was splitting his head.

But daddy had money
This year in the bank,
Then they closed up early,
And now dad's in a tank.

All of a sudden,
Santa appeared,
A sneer on his face,
Booze in his beard.

"Santa," I said,
As he laughed merrily,
"You do so much for others,
Do something for me."

"Bundy," he said,
"You only sell shoes,
Your son is a sneak thief,
Your daughter's a floose."

"Ho ho," Santa said,
"Should I mention your wife?
Her hair's like an A-bomb,
Her nails like a knife."

He climbs up the chimney,
That fat piece of dung,
He mooned me two times,
He stuck out his tongue.

I heard him exclaim,
As he broke wind with glee,
"You're married with children,
You'll never be free."

[Guitar Woman]

Bump

[Esuohlim]

Shush, you

[Hangie]

Bawww