Creationist Science Fair

[Chojin]

More than likely a joke, but still great:

http://objectiveministries.org/creation/sciencefair.html

[Tadao]

I knew I have seen that guys face somewhere!

http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/

[Supafly345]

Per Arne's old avatar!

[Dimnos]

2nd Place: "Pine Cones Are Complicated"

David Block and Trevor Murry (grades 4) showed how specifically complicated pine cones are and how they reveal God's design in nature.

OMG! OMG! OMG! :hypno How did this not take 1st! How can the nation... NO the WORLD ignore such hard hitting evidence of gods existence!!!!

[mew barios]

i think this site is a joke, although it's hard to tell :o they link to several sites of genuine insanity like answersingenesis

[Dimnos]

It has to be a joke... I think.... hell with the level of stupidity in the world today I cant tell anymore... :\

[Kitsa]

kF3L359yKjs

BEHOLD THE ATHEIST'S NIGHTMARE!

[Shrubfest]

Do people really think like this?

I'm afraid.

[Tadao]

Yes, and they all live in the Mid West!

[Kitsa]

He says "well-made" banana.

Does God make a lot of fuckup bananas? Are they still proof God exists?

[Tadao]

I was trying to explain to my mom that I would believe in god if he would just admit that he is imperfect and screws up a lot.

[Kitsa]

BGy7jRi2-uY

"Intellectual-free zone" about says it.

On a side note, I knew I should never take Kirk Cameron seriously.

[Dixie]

Bananas were made to fit perfectly in GG Allin's butt.
:hypno
I'm convinced now.

[mew barios]

i assume the non-wellmade bananas are the wild bananas that are impossible to eat cuz they're mostly seeds, and the wellmade ones are the bananas cultivated over thousands of years that are incapable of growing without human intervention.

[Dr. Boogie]

Plus, the wild bananas don't curve toward your face.

[Emu]

I knew I have seen that guys face somewhere!

http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/


holy fucking shit i moused over that fucking sheep with my volume on max oh my god my heart

[ZeldaQueen]

I seriously hope that site's a joke. It really got my eyebrows wiggling.

On the other hand, people can believe in some really nutty stuff.

foWdiT9iH44

[kahljorn]

uncultivated bananas are also small, from what I remember, and probably wouldn't fit into your hands so comfortably :(

it took years of cultivating to mold them into that large and delicious penis shape.

[Kitsa]

GOD MADE THOSE BANANAS IN THEIR CURRENT FORM AND NO OTHER AND DON'T TRY AND TELL ME OTHERWISE BECAUSE I'M NOT LISTENING LALALALALALALALALA

[Chojin]

HEY DARWIN, ROCKS CAN'T EVOLVE, HOW DID THEY GET HERE HUH

[Kitsa]

THE DEVIL TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT, HE'S TESTING MY FAITH

[ZeldaQueen]

Yeah, didn't you know that the Devil snuck around, one unspecified night, and carefully buried every fossil ever found? He was also careful to put them at different depths so that people might actually think they lived at different times!!! :hypno:x

[Tadao]

Yet again that had nothing to do with what was said.

[ZeldaQueen]

I made a comment on Devil conspiracy. I kind of fail to see how that's grossly out of place in this thread.

But nevermind that, I'll join in the conversation on God making bananas in His own image.

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t211/ZeldaQueen/banana.jpg

[Tadao]

HEY DARWIN, ROCKS CAN'T EVOLVE, HOW DID THEY GET HERE HUH

THE DEVIL TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT, HE'S TESTING MY FAITH

Yeah, didn't you know that the Devil snuck around, one unspecified night, and carefully buried every fossil ever found? He was also careful to put them at different depths so that people might actually think they lived at different times!!! :hypno:x

:rolleyes

[Tadao]

You seem to think the words "never mind" makes thing magically disappear.

Let me try it.

Hey ZQ, never mind.

[Colonel Flagg]

http://www2.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=27947731

BLESSED BE THE TOASTER OVEN, DIVINE INSTRUMENT OF GOD!!!!!!

[Colonel Flagg]

Hey, wait, that toaster image looks a lot like Anton LaVey. What does that mean, I wonder ....

[ZeldaQueen]

http://www2.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=27947731

BLESSED BE THE TOASTER OVEN, DIVINE INSTRUMENT OF GOD!!!!!!
Blessed by the Father, the Son, and the Holy Toast.

[Colonel Flagg]

NO NO NO THE TOASTER IS EVIL INCARNATE AND MUST BE DESTROYED!!!!!!!!!!!

[ZeldaQueen]

Would one stab it with a sharp stake or throw it in a bathtub? :\

[Colonel Flagg]

Yes. And fill the bathtub with BOILING HOT HOLY WATER. DEATH TO THE ABOMINATION!

You see, science really is the work of SATAN.

[Dimnos]

http://www.atheists-for-jesus.com/

You know you want to click it. :orgasm

[ZeldaQueen]

Yes. And fill the bathtub with BOILING HOT HOLY WATER. DEATH TO THE ABOMINATION!

You see, science really is the work of SATAN.
No wonder my science fair project wouldn't get results! I was WEARING A CROSS! :x

[Dimnos]

hbt0yIW6nT4

[Evil Robot]

EVIL ROBOT PWNS GOD.

[darkvare]

I PWN EVIL ROBOT MEANING I'M MORE POWERFUL THAN BOTH HAHAHAHAHA!

back on topic i found the last experiment really funny the rodent ark shouldn't it be considerd animal cruelty

[Colonel Flagg]

Creation Science <=> Jumbo Shrimp

[Babs]

God kills his kids, live by that.

[Dimnos]

I have definitive proof god exists and is merciful!

1) iPod ready car stereo
http://www.ilounge.com/images/uploads/sony-cdx-gt630ui.jpg

+

2)iPhone 3G
http://techtreak.com/img/img_3321_apple-iphone-main_450x360.jpg

+

3)Pandora radio app.
http://clifmims.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/pandora.jpg

Think about it... :hypno

[Kitsa]

I'm conflicted. I want a Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew shirt, but I don't want them to have my money.

Have you read the taglines in the store? They're hilarious. The kanga-jew economy priced shirt is "So cheap, it's like buying wholesale!". The economy Habu the Elephant shirts are priced so low "You can give them out to polytheistic villagers".

Don't get me started on how they're calling thongs "chastity protectors". Are they serious? Really?

Apparently this is all to fund their go-to-Africa-and-bring-back-dinosaurs project. It's like they fell asleep five minutes into Jurassic Park but still felt they got the gist of it.

[Big McLargehuge]

Sooner or later you will catch on.

[Kitsa]

I hope I do soon. I'm having a hard time these days telling who's serious or not, because I've come to find that a lot of people really are that stupid.

[Colonel Flagg]

I'm having a hard time these days telling who's serious or not, because I've come to find that a lot of people really are that stupid.

Easy - just assume stupidity first, then ask forgiveness if it turns out they're really writing biting satire. 99% of the time, you won't need to apologize. :)

"Yes, some uncomplicated peoples still believe in this 'creation' myth. But here in the technologically superior vastness of [science], we can see, for example, that the past was very different."

[Kitsa]

was it biting satire? I suspected when I saw the insane racism in the store....but then again, I've seen insane racism elsewhere.

[kahljorn]

behind most "biting satire" is a stupid person, anyway. So you're safe with your assumptions.

[DevilWearsPrada]

http://logo.cafepress.com/1/97217.575171.jpg

Indeed.

[90's Child]

Well, I beleive in evolution and think that Creationism is a load of shit, but I wish they were actually right about humans and dinosaurs living together. Why? Because that would be so fucking awesome if that actually happened, especially the part about humans putting saddles on Dinosaurs and riding them.

[ZeldaQueen]

Well, I beleive in evolution and think that Creationism is a load of shit, but I wish they were actually right about humans and dinosaurs living together. Why? Because that would be so fucking awesome if that actually happened, especially the part about humans putting saddles on Dinosaurs and riding them.
Yeah! Imagine the possibilities. Dinosaurs could be used for prehistoric traffic lights, punch cards, garbage disposals... Yabba dabba do!

[Dimnos]

http://u3a1ma.blu.livefilestore.com/y1pAk9kgXWAjl1gd9tfJ8UjApAAHZnabFA5uZd-eZ1A2RodOTEUzwyZ6gpn_wtQZ_NnFSQnfQkzX4TXxK3BQ_0D82 VCHdTOhj4F/jesusrodedinos.jpg

[Colonel Flagg]

Everyone knows dinosaurs are blotchy green and red, with iridescent scales and many rows of pointy teeth. Plus, they're hiding under your bed RIGHT NOW. :eek

[Kitsa]

You know...after my grandmother's funeral last month, they had the meal in the basement of their church. I ate shoved over in the corner of the Sunday school room, which was strangely decorated in a Chuck Norris theme. And they were really committed. There was a Chuck Norris poster on the door, Chuck Norris quotes on the walls, even an unfinished game of hangman on the chalk board where the answer was CH_CK N_R_IS.

I was a bit hazy on the Chuck Norris-Jesus connection before I saw that picture, but I think it's a little clearer now.

[Womti]

http://objectiveministries.org/members/ (http://objectiveministries.org/members/#PALEY)

you'll never find a whackier bunch of characters.

[Dimnos]

http://objectiveministries.org/members/ (http://objectiveministries.org/members/#PALEY)

you'll never find a whackier bunch of characters.

After looking at their pictures I cant imagine how any of them believe that there is a god. :lol

[Kitsa]

Well, seeing as I actually know people who adhere to this sort of thing with utter sincerity, it gave me pause.

[Colonel Flagg]

"Diamond" Jack Holgroth is a Game Theoretician who currently teaches a course in Advanced Game Theory for Theologians at Fellowship University. [...] Jack also enjoys vexillology and can signal Bible passages from memory in fluent semaphore.

Now THAT'S something I'd pay to see. :lol