The President of Nigeria is Missing!

[Kitsa]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jan/08/crisis-nigeria-president-missing

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/missing.jpg


"The president is missing. The executive chair is empty, the in-tray overflowing, and 150 million people are crying out for leadership.
This is the crisis enveloping Nigeria (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/nigeria), political rivals and activists say, as rumours swirl around the health of President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua, not seen in public for 45 days."


Not to worry, the VP's name is GOODLUCK JONATHAN. How can you go wrong with that?

[Pentegarn]

I can't imagine how that would be possible

[The Leader]

He probably fell down a well or something.

[Kitsa]

the VP looks a little sinister.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/goodluckjonathan.jpg

Kind of like someone cast Wesley Snipes in a Clockwork Orange remake.

[Tadao]

OH DAM! That dude is a roughneck!

[Pentegarn]

That's a good comparison. I thought Arsinio Hall when I looked at him, but Wesley Snipes in a CO remake works better

[Kitsa]

Arsenio would've been good for the glasses, but the guy's too lighthearted and innocuous. Wesley's got that edge.

[Grislygus]

That's the best photo they could get of him?

I like his facial expression, though. It is clearly informing the cameraman that if the camera isn't put away in three seconds, a presidential foot will be lodged so far up his ass that his teeth will be kicked out

[Kitsa]

The president or the VP? Because I could see that applying to either one.

Edit: I'm still seeing Snipes. Possibly with some clothing advice from Bernie Mac (RIP :( )

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/wesleysnipes.jpg

[Tadao]

From the 2 pictures, I can't decide which one scares me the most. The VP looks like he will kill you before you blink, but the Pres looks like he would try to keep you alive for maximum torture.

[Kitsa]

I know someone from Nigeria and from the stories she's told me, that place is fucked up. Hardcore.

[Tadao]

Especially in District 9! :eek

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I bet he's involved in some funding scam too.

[Kitsa]

Remember when Lake Victoria stopped producing hydroelectric power because the THOUSANDS of bodies Idi Amin dumped in there were clogging the generators?

Yeah, I'm just picturing this being something like that.

Edit: Holy shit, I found erotic Idi Amin fanfic.

http://www.fivechapters.com/2009/my-life-with-idi-amin/

[Tadao]

The president or the VP? Because I could see that applying to either one.

Edit: I'm still seeing Snipes. Possibly with some clothing advice from Bernie Mac (RIP :( )

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/wesleysnipes.jpg

I wonder if he raps.

[Kitsa]

Not sure, but it's nice to know he's got his own version of Mein Kampf ready to go.

[Evil Robot]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/goodluckjonathan.jpghttp://www.purplblog.com/wp-content/uploads/biggie-smalls.jpg
HOLY SHIT

[Evil Robot]

Perhaps Mr Goodluck ate the presidents brain in order to gain his spirit power.

[Tadao]

WESTSIDE
http://www.vanguardngr.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Presidential-Yaradua.jpg

[Kitsa]

My friend used to tell me about just seeing lynchings in bus stations. Apparently it's not uncommon for people to just swarm pickpockets and kill them on the spot. She said usually what happens is they put a tire over them to pin their arms to their sides, then beat them and set them on fire. And that's just, like, business as usual there.

That was one of many colorful stories she told me about Nigeria.

[BatmanJohnson]

Are you a bad enough Dude to rescue the President?

[Evil Robot]

they stuck pine cones up my anus and called me sweet cheeks. Those were hard times.

[robo_rob]

I'm pretty sure my rich Nigerian family knows where he is. I'll ask them next time they email about my inheritance.

[darkvare]

he probably is on vacations in a cool beach somewhere in the world

[Colonel Flagg]

My friend used to tell me about just seeing lynchings in bus stations. Apparently it's not uncommon for people to just swarm pickpockets and kill them on the spot. She said usually what happens is they put a tire over them to pin their arms to their sides, then beat them and set them on fire. And that's just, like, business as usual there.

That was one of many colorful stories she told me about Nigeria.

This reminded me of the Onion. Go figure. 10 years old, but still relevant.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34159

[darkvare]

My friend used to tell me about just seeing lynchings in bus stations. Apparently it's not uncommon for people to just swarm pickpockets and kill them on the spot. She said usually what happens is they put a tire over them to pin their arms to their sides, then beat them and set them on fire. And that's just, like, business as usual there.

That was one of many colorful stories she told me about Nigeria.
they also do that over here at mexico but a lot less often

[Kitsa]

he probably is on vacations in a cool beach somewhere in the world

Yeah, Bar Beach. :\

Bar Beach Executions link (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,911769,00.html)

ColFlagg: Heh heh heh. I was slightly more terrified by the education I got.

[elx]

you guys should mentor african kids
Infinite Family connects African orphans and vulnerable children with mentors using video conferencing and a secure internet site.

http://www.infinitefamily.org/

[Grislygus]

Yeah, that's a great fucking idea

HI DO YOU LIKE COMIC BOOKS AND XBOX I REALLY DO

[elx]

dont be such a grumpybutt grannygut! this is the best thing you can do for the vulnerable children living on a fourth world continent.
those other organizations will just want you to feed them or shelter them from the hot african sun, or maybe provide them with an education or medical supplies, but HERE as a MENTOR you can give long lasting HEART and LOVE and INSPIRE them with the wonderful marvelous INTERNET.

[Tadao]

:lol Aint no way I'm getting on an internet connection with Africa.

[Pentegarn]

^^^

This

Besides, what could I teach kids in Africa that would help them in their day to day lives?

[Colonel Flagg]

With all due respect, I prefer to help those less fortunate children right in my own backyard. :\

http://www.adopt.org/assembled/acdv_services.html

HI DO YOU LIKE COMIC BOOKS AND XBOX I REALLY DO

:lol

[Kitsa]

so they said he placed a call to the BBC to let them know he was A-ok.

1) How the hell would anyone know it was really him?

2) Why reassure the BBC before your own people?

[robo_rob]

2) Why reassure the BBC before your own people?

Maybe there's something with Nigeria that the rest of the world doesn't know yet.

[executioneer]

the title of this thread would also make a good title for a Choose Your Own Adventure book, exclamation point and all

over 41 endings!

[Kitsa]

It's the kind of statement that inspires fourth graders to action!

[robo_rob]

One decision and the Vice President is revealed to be behind it all, one wrong decision and a dinosaur eats you.

[Kitsa]

Quick n' Dirty.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/presidentmissing.jpg

[Zhukov]

In all likelihood the guy is dead. I'd be willing to bet money on this.

[Pentegarn]

That was a nice piece of business Kitsa

[Kitsa]

Thanks. Could've been better with a little time/effort, but I wasn't up to either. :lol

Edit: forgot the dinosaur. Maybe tomorrow.

[executioneer]

If you want to help Dr. Leon Sumbiches get his uncle's inheritance , turn to 419.
If you want to risk incurring the wrath of the governor, turn to 126.

[Zhukov]

Start writing this book.

[kahljorn]

I don't really think you can help these sorts of countries really, their leaders are hella too corrupt/fucked up ;/ the best we can hope for is another president bush who will start another ""unjustified" war :)

[Kitsa]

Here we go. Now with more dinosaurs!

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/nowwithmoredinosaurs.jpg

[Zhukov]

:lol

I didn't notice those... acrobat people... in the first iteration.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Love the T-Rex

[Kitsa]

http://www.boners.com/grub/811909.html


:lol

I had to write a Choose Your Own Adventure in a summer writing class, eons ago. You had to do it in a composition book (this was before Word...before word processors, even), you couldn't tear out any pages if you screwed up, and it had to be around that college (Michigan Tech). I wrote "Houghton, Land of Doom!" It was pretty fun to write, although there are only so many different horrors that can befall someone in upper Michigan.

[Dimnos]

WTF :(

[robo_rob]

excellent

[Skulhedface]

Is the president still missing? Because if so, I'd like to send my bank account details RIGHT AWAY to the guy who just emailed me saying he was his brother, was worth a fortune and needed my bank account and my son to deposit his riches in, in hopes he'll be freed and I'll be made co-dictator!

[Kitsa]

Not sure, I think they're in some sort of stalemate over the VP taking over.

In the meantime, did they realize it's this easy?

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/itsthateasy.jpg

[DevilWearsPrada]

close and goldmine :lol