my girlfriend thinks i hate her

[noob3]

because i dont write her long mushy e-mails anymore :( and i don't feel any diffirent, i don't know why i stopped. and when she tells me i don't anymore, it makes me feel obligated to and now i'm scared if i do she's just going to think that :(

[glowbelly]

do something else nice for her instead.

[Big McLargehuge]

Fucking her isn't enough?

[glowbelly]

watch yer filthy little mouth around my baby >:

[CaptainBubba]

Maybe you should stab her in the cunt? >:

[glowbelly]

maybe you should wash your mouth out with soap >:

[Cap'n Crunch]

MABYE IF YOU WEREN'T SO BOSSY. >::(

[Geggy]

dont write her long mushy email just because she wanted you to, it going to seem forced instead do something else that will make her feel special. like hiding little notes or candy in the pocket of her jackets or whatever.

[JesusFishSticks]

maybe you should wash out your cunt with soap-

I mean... yeah, its kinda weird after you've gotten a lady to fall for you and jumped through all those hoops, its hard to do any of it anymore. You sure you still feel the same way? I'd bet you could do something to liven things up a little.

[Blue]

When i stopped doing that for my gf i just bought roses and chocolates and shit like that instead.

[Bod]

My boyfriend's exactly the same. After 4 months he expects me to be nice and I tell him to fook off cos now we're having a relationship.

[Helm]

Bubba stole my line. Let's see...


Next time you're attempting intercourse, you could forcefully hug her face to your chest, violently shake it and shout at the top of your lungs "I CARE FOR YOU! I CARE FOR YOU! I AM NEVER LETTING YOU GO, YOU HEAR!? NEVER!"

I'm sure all doubts she might currently have about your feelings towards her will go away, trailing into nothingness along with her faithful, drawn out axhalation. Arms dangling lifeless against your bare skin, then a sudden stillness ...to be smothered in love :)

[Bod]

Just get off with someone else and then her worries about lack of sloppy emails will pale into insignificance.

[Command Prompt]

Or, you can write someone else a mushy email, send it to a fake email, like slut19@ho.com, and "accidently" forward it to her. That should make things interesting.

[Protoclown]

Obviously she thinks you hate her because deep down on a subconscious level, you really do hate her.

[Perndog]

You people send your girlfriends mushy e-mails and buy them flowers and stuff. Losers. :lol

[Skulhedface]

What would you recommend? Beating her in the face with a ratchet during anal sex?

[Jixby Phillips]

When i stopped doing that for my gf i just bought roses and chocolates and shit like that instead.

whats next, a diamond ring :lol :lol :lol

[FS]

Write her huge, sloppy emails about how much you hate her.

[kellychaos]

Hang around her house while watching TV, drinking cheap beer and farting a lot. This endearing "thumbnail" of the average american husband will comfort her and convince her that you're indeed ready for a life of domesticity.

[Jixby Phillips]

http://www.novirginsallowed.com/comics/kellychaos6.gif

[Blue]

whats next, a diamond ring

Im already engaged (sp?) but im a student so i cant afford the diamond ring yet >:

[Jixby Phillips]

AND A FUR COAT :lol :lol :lol

[CrazyAmericanScum]

Yes, if you do she will think you were obligated...So get creative.

1) Go to your local pet store and buy a puppy, the cutist and most adorable one you can afford.
2) Write a beautiful poem expaining your love for her.
3) Go to the hardware store and buy a box of nails, size is up to you. But I would suggest longer nails, step 4 explains.
4) Nail the note into the puppys chest and subsequently to her front door.
5) In the still dying puppies blood write "My love for you, unlike this puppy will never die" under the body of rover.

This will not only win her back but she will never say another word about you not loving her. :obey

[glowbelly]

whoa. you really are a crazy american.

[CrazyAmericanScum]

Why thank you. My current love interest read it and hit me....lol. I thought chicks dug romantic gestures.

[camacazio]

5) In the still dying puppies blood write "My love for you, unlike this puppy will never die" under the body of rover.

HOORAY FOR JOKES STOLEN FROM SCOTT ADAMS!!!

Except his version uses a dead woodchuck instead.

[CrazyAmericanScum]

Thanks for pointing out a useless fact. I might not have been able to sleep if not for you. Couldn't you have just laughed....who the hell is Scott Adams?

[kellychaos]

... but not a real fur coat ... that's cruel. >:

[Nerd]

Thanks for pointing out a useless fact. I might not have been able to sleep if not for you. Couldn't you have just laughed....who the hell is Scott Adams?

He writes the Dilbert comics.

[CrazyAmericanScum]

Oh, thanks Mr Waddams.

I will have to look this Dilbert up now.

[Supafly345]

Why is it that when people are telling the truth about not plagurising they say "I am not" and when they lie they always claim they don't know who that person is in an unconvincing way while still not sounding irritated in the least that you called them unoriginal.

I will have to look this Dilbert up now. :lol
That is classic.

I am willing to bet that if this was a live conversation you would pretend you didn't know how to pronounce any of this either and say them like "Scoot Adums?" and "Dileberd?"

[CrazyAmericanScum]

I am not illiterate for gods sake.

I know who Dilbert is, but I don't have the creators name memorized. Damn people.

[camacazio]

A name doesn't require careful memorization.

Test on thursday.

[Slinky Ferret]

I think the little notes thing is good.

I still find littles notes from one of my ex's. >:

[CrazyAmericanScum]

A test? Fuck! I don't test well....

[Toadie]

Plagurized or not...that still has to be the funniest thing I've read all day. Congradulations...

[Supafly345]

HEY!!! CrazyAmericanScum!! Remember this?
http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=6192
And this?
http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=6292

[CrazyAmericanScum]

Wow that brought back memories.
I like reliving old times, how stupid I was, how much of an ass I made of myself. It's great you people have the free time to dredge up old posts to teach me a lesson.

But needless to say I have gotten my head out of my ass and you all should get a pat on the back for showing me the error of my ways.

But anyway, thanks for letting me read some crap I no longer care in the slightest about.
Learning is fun.

[draw a sidewalk]

i like the random notes idea.

[Anonymous]

hahahahah

[Lenor]

Girls are very odd, needless to say we will whine and bitch about you not doing the things you used to do way back when we first started to date you, then when you do them again we ask 'what do you want? or What did you do?' So tell her that there really is No need for those kind of e-mails, because she should know exactly how you feel about her allready, and be prepared for the 'well how do you feel about me' and choose your words wisely, cause 'I like how hot you are, and the color of your eyes' just wont cut it. but remember that if you do buy her flowers and candy, she will expect it even more, and when you dont, the big question will always arise 'Are you still interesting in me? Cause you've seemed to be distant.. blah blah blah..' And then you'll have to explain yourself all over again. Yes, guys its a constant battle with us, but if you play your cards right, then hell, we might even consider giving you head 30 times a day like you want.

[Anonymous]

I reply to that