God Bless America

[Schimid]

Alright, so, I'm at the mall with my friends one night and my other friend shows up. She's got this friend with her, and that friend is fucking gorgeous. We share a few glances here and there, and she bites my shoulder.

Later on, we really start flirting. She steals my old, beat-up hat, and I steal her purse and walk around with it. She tackled me but couldn't get it away and she was tooootally feeling me up OMG

Later on, after a small "ordeal" about my hat, I let her have it and say "You're lucky you're so cute :( " and we both go home. In the car with my friends, I find out she is going out with some Arabian guy who I've known for about seven years. She's been going out with him for a year and a half.

I was sad :(

But then, not an hour and a half later, I find out she's going to dump him.

I'm seeing her again tomorrow. She's gonna wear my hat. :D

EDIT - oh, yeah, and add input and your own experiences about rescuing fair damsels from sand monkeys.

[AChimp]

Kudos to you, Schimid! You have saved her from the heathen Mohammedan and his (possibly) uncircumsized penis!

[Perndog]

What happened to the girl who made you the Nintendo origami?

And Muslims are always circumcised.

[theapportioner]

Careful though, he might go into one of those Arab rages and administer some Islamic justice, which would probably involve getting your penis severed.

[Schimid]

That girl that made the Nintendo origami, that relationship went out with a whimper because she turned into a self-centered bitch. She's the biggest bitch I know of, right now.

Oh well, the home game is a lot cuter anyway. :love

EDIT - theapportioner, dude, i'm seriously scared of that. not joking. :chatter

[Brandon]

Careful though, he might go into one of those Arab rages and administer some Islamic justice, which would probably involve getting your penis severed.
If I were the chick I'd be scared of a brutal death by stoning.

[Schimid]

The guy's really scrawny and timid, so there really isn't anything to worry about.

Plus, the whole school is on my side, he said we deserved the 9/11 attacks and everyone in my school is a red meat-eatin', tobacco-spewin', warm-blooded American >:o

[Anonymous]

That girl that made the Nintendo origami, that relationship went out with a whimper because she turned into a self-centered bitch. She's the biggest bitch I know of, right now.

Nintendorigami will do that to a person.

[The One and Only...]

Scrawny, timid... he's the guy flying a plane into your house.

[executioneer]

is that an army of darkness reference :lol

-willie

[Jason]

Sorta how I met my girlfriend.

[AChimp]

My hopes that every response in this thread would contain "penis" have been dashed. :(

[Schimid]

We're seeing a movie today. It might be Peter Pan or something. I told her to hold my hand so I don't get scared of the pirates in the movie. :)

[Royal Tenenbaum]

The only pirate there will be you! A pirate of Arabian people's girlfriends. We've taken there oil, now there women!?

[Matt Harty]

They're all going to end up exploding so why even bother with women? :(

[Schimid]

Holy shit, I just now noticed that this whole thing is like an episode of Kid Notorious, except the girl isn't Arabian.

Fuck. :(

[ProfessorCool]

Please say you got away with a couple of the nintendorigamis in that past relationship.

[Schimid]

No. Just as I was leaving her house for the last time, I saw the one thing she made, Toad, crushed on the floor.

:tear

[ProfessorCool]

Game Over :(

But don't fret schimid, the real princess is in another castle!

[Rongi]

Schimid I seriously think he's going to send you a letter saying "Congradulations on getting the girl" and it will have anthrax in it :(

[DamnthatDavid]

Crazy Foreigners... I say, lets close our boarders.
Hell, I'll ride boarder patrol along Mexico for free, as long as they provide the guns.

[Brandon]

OH, FUCK THAT DAVID.

[Perndog]

I did boarder patrol once. A bunch of us skiers went around the mountain looking for boarders and roughing them up.

[Big Papa Goat]

Skiing is for fags :rolleyes

[ProfessorCool]

I did boarder patrol once. A bunch of us skiers went around the mountain looking for boarders and roughing them up.

I hope you approached them everytime by saying "well, well, well, what do we have here..."

[The Unseen]

Does he make her wear one of those ninja masks? :lol

[Schimid]

Okay we're going out now. :)

We made out behind the steps after school. :)

I'm going to a party in about twenty minutes. She's gonna be there. :)

I think she might drink though. :(

[HickMan]

Is that a bad thing?

[Schimid]

Yeah :(

I don't drink or smoke or anything :(

She won't think I'm cool :(

Oh well her ex is an Arab and they aren't allowed to drink OR eat pork :picklehat

[HickMan]

You got one up on that fucker then. I don't smoke, either. :(

[The Unseen]

I don't smoke but I'm almost an alcoholic.

[Sicktodeathmx]

Eh, the only reason she would feel bad at all is cause she will probably get too drunk, and be all stupid, and you won't like her anymore cause drunk girls can get really annoying.
And I say this even though I drink every fucking night :(