lol I suck :(

[executioneer]

A girl on match.com "winked" at me and her aim ID is in her profile and I'm too chicken to talk to her :(

-willie

[Helm]

Tell me who it is and I'll go talk to her for you. Just like back in elementary school. If you have a little poem or anything you'd like me to pass along post that too.

[executioneer]

sorry no can do :(

-willie

[noob3]

willie you are very interesting and funny i am sure you will woo her with your excellent conversation and dude what do you have to lose? talking to her and sucking is alot worse than not talking to her. hey dude, what do you know maybe you will totally seduce her and get a hot date with her man things work out cool if you try

[executioneer]

okay but she's got to drive over here i'm not driving 300 miles >:

-willie

[noob3]

what the fuck 300 miles find a real girl dude

[executioneer]

i know i mean wtf i said "200 miles limit" so comeon its not like you didn't se eit >:

-willie

[executioneer]

aw shit there's another one and she's more liek 60 miles :(

and way hawter omg :o

but no AIM in profile :x oh well winked back at least :x

-willie

[feelevil]

tap dat ass!!!!!!!>>>>

:alliwantisrichesNbigbootybitches

[Dole]

Go for it Willie...I'll kick yer ass if u dont.

[Protoclown]

Yes, do it Willie. It's a lot easier than I ever thought it would be.

[Pee Wee Herman]

Talk to her, or kill yourself. Your choice.

If I were you, I'd talk to her.

[The One and Only...]

Even I'm not that much of a pussy.

[Esuohlim]

Talk to her, or kill yourself. Your choice.

If I were you, I'd talk to her.

If I were you, I'd kill myself!

ZING!

[Pee Wee Herman]

If I were you, I'd kill you.

[Esuohlim]

...

Well, I would say something here, but it would just add fuel to the fire. :rolleyes

BESIDES, THE FIRE IS ALREADY FLAMING. :lol

YOU BEING THE FIRE. >:

[Dixie]

wussy. i could IM her and say "I have a friend you winked at on match.com and he likes you too. but he's really shy so could you IM him if i gave you his aim address?" see i can help :-D

[Pee Wee Herman]

...

Well, I would say something here, but it would just add fuel to the fire. :rolleyes

BESIDES, THE FIRE IS ALREADY FLAMING. :lol

YOU BEING THE FIRE. >:
I SEE. YOU ARE SO CLEVER, INSULTING MY HETEROSEXUALITY BY IMPLYING THAT I AM A FLAMER. HA. HA. HA. VERY CLEVER. ANOTHER FUNNY WAY TO IMPLY THAT SOMEONE IS A SEXUAL DEVIANT IS BY LIKENING THEM TO A CELEBRITY LIKE RICHARD SIMMONS OR MICHAEL JACKSON. THAT WOULD BE THE VERY PINNACLE OF WIT. STOP, YOU ARE KILLING ME!

[sadie]

shut up already. moron.

[Pee Wee Herman]

HA HA! YOU ARE INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE. VERY CLEVER.

[mowler]

HA HA! YOU ARE INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE. VERY CLEVER

really dude give it a rest. you suck!!!

[executioneer]

lol now all I have to do is pay match dot com 25 dollars so I can e-mail her or message >:

-willie

[Geggy]

aw fuck that!

[executioneer]

luv costs money y'all

-willie

[Mr. Vagiclean]

Love don't cost a thang >:


That's what Z100 told me anyways :(

[executioneer]

no way it totally costs money one way or another >:

-willie

[sadie]

not if you love yourself. ;)

[Dixie]

lotion costs money too. unless you steal it from hotel bathrooms.

[executioneer]

TP costs money :lol

-willie

[Dixie]

real men use thier socks

[executioneer]

socks cost way more money than TP :/

-willie

[Dixie]

but they're re-usable! and you never HAVE to wash them!

[executioneer]

you can FLUSH tp >: i don't want no jizz smell lingering around my bedroom thank you >:

-willie

[Dixie]

it's sexy. girls can't say "no" to old sperm.

[executioneer]

well I don't like the smell :(

-willie

[Dixie]

i'm sorry, i can't have sex with you now. :(

[executioneer]

:'(

-willie

[Dixie]

relationships are hard, see? you've got to compromise.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

DON'T WORRY WILL, I WILL FUCK YOU

[executioneer]

I PAID MONEY NOW I JUST NEED TO THINK OG SOM ETHING CLEVAR TO SAY :lol

-willie

[executioneer]

SIMULCAS T ON IMOCKERY AND MINDSAY :lol

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

WHAT THE FUCK. YOU PAID MONEY FOR THIS?!?!

FUCKING IDIOT.

Just go hang out at your local college or university if you're in you're late teens or twenties. That's usually a good place to pick up chicks.

[executioneer]

taste my nads pee wee herman don't you think I'd be doing that if I could >:

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

Why can't you just hang out at your local university or college to pick up chicks or guys. You don't have to be a student to hang out there. Just walk up to random chicks and somehow initiate a conversation. Whatever you do, don't use pickup lines. The safest way to do it would be to walk up to them and say "Hi, I'm Willie."

I'm just trying to help you out here. But what the fuck, man. You paid 20 or 25 bucks to contact this chick.

[executioneer]

i can't talk to people in person I'm shy >: do you think I heckle peopl eon the street in real life, no i have to do it on a message board >:

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

I used to be shy too, but I got over it. The best way to get over it is to realize that if she doesn't like you or gives you wierd looks, move on to the next chick. When you first meet a chick, the conversation can be about almost anything (Within reason. Don't share morbid fantasies or creepy shit.). I find that the best way to start the conversation is by making an observation about them. Anything about them, except their looks or clothes, because if you ask them about their clothes, they'll think you're gay. Seriously. In the conversation, ask them open ended questions. If a chick blows you off, it's their loss.

For example:

Willie sees a hot chick.
Willie walks up to the chick.
Willie: Hi. I'm Willie.
Girl: Uh, I'm Ashley.
Willie: I see you're reading a psychology textbook. Are you a psychology student?
Girl: Yes, I am.
Willie: How long have you been going to university for?
Girl: 2 years.

It's that simple. You just have to realize that you have nothing to lose so it is completely fucking pointless to not talk to girls in real life. Besides, you'll never get laid if you don't try.

[executioneer]

all right it's not just SHY >: it's more like a major psychological defect >:

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

Then get a hooker. Geez. What the hell do you want me to say?

[executioneer]

you should say sometinhg along the lines of "I'M SORRY YOU'RE A BIG FAGGOT WILLIE :lol" or something :( PS hookers also requires talking to people >:

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

Get a mail order bride.

[executioneer]

i thought you didn't want me to spend money :lol

:( the thing is, is that on match dot com basically everyone i'm going to be talking to has already confirmed that they think I'm at least attractive enough to talk to so I don't get shut down by anxiety :(

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

Oh, well. That's a little different. At least you're not wasting money on random chicks in the hopes that one of them will like you a little. Is she fuckable?

[executioneer]

probably I should ask if she has a vagina or any other orifices :lol :takingthingstooliterally

-willie

[executioneer]

god damn it, I've been posting on here too much >: I can't type shit without wanting to use emoticons >:

-willie

[AChimp]

Ask her if she likes popsicles. :)

Fuck, I use emoticons too. :(

[executioneer]

but i don't give a damn if she likes popsicles :(

-willie

[Big McLargehuge]

Dear Willie,

I hope this girl loves you and has sex with you.


Sincerly,


Biggie

[Pee Wee Herman]

Dude... giver her a popsilce, watch her suck on it, then imagine that she's sucking your dick. See if you still give a damn then.

[Anonymous]

OH...OH YEAH, I GUESS YOU COULD LOOK AT IT THAT WAY!!! :eek

[executioneer]

why don't I jsut cut to the chase and ask her if she likes to suck dick then, geez :lol

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

Because that's no fun. Foreplay is supposed to be fun, goddamnit. >:

[Jixby Phillips]

Why don't we just cut to the chase and murder pee wee.

[soundtest]

Dude... giver her a popsilce, watch her suck on it, then imagine that she's sucking your dick.

:lol

[executioneer]

i sent a flirty message to a lady :eek :eek :eek :eek

i bet I'll invite her ovre for dinner and cook her a chicken with a dick next :(

-willie

[jin]

At least then you can joke about it. :>

I hope you dont die willie, cause im all outta AIBOs yo. ;<