Explanation, Please

[Grislygus]

So I inadvertently infuriated a Christian by even mentioning evolution today. Well, not infuriated, she just corrected me (despite not being in the conversation in the first place)

GUS, TO FRIEND: "-the big thing is that the debate over evolution is fueled by pride-"

RANDOM CHRISTIAN: "Revolution."

GUS: "What?"

RC: "Revolution."

GUS: "I'm talking about evolution."

RC: "Well, it's called Revolution."

GUS: ". . ."



"Are you talking about Revelation...?"



RC: "Well, it's just called Revolution."

GUS: "Okay."


Would someone please explain what the borderline psychotics have made up this time, I can't even understand what the hell kind of point she was making.

[Tadao]

Damit, you should have asked her to explain, this thread might of been a hit!

[Grislygus]

I didn't know the bitch, I wasn't going to ask her to explain the catchphrases Jim-Bob Urkel the local preacher has been spewing at his flock to keep them from thinking >:

That's why I'm asking you guys

[Tadao]

Well how about this. She must have been eavesdropping for a while, maybe more of the early part of the conversation could help me/us.

[Grislygus]

Shit, the internet's not helping. "Evolution Revolution" is a pseudo-pro Darwin educational site, but the idiot's defensiveness and repetition of an easily memorized catchphrase (without an adequate or well-thought explanation) indicates bottom-of-the-barrel Christian ideas

[Grislygus]

Well, before this we were discussing gay freaks who like to travel the world and have sex with dolphins, which was followed by my loud, obnoxious friend's tale of fisting his girlfriend (it finished with her pissing on him). I can't actually remember how the hell religious debate came up

[Tadao]

Lol, I searched it as well on Google and it really looks to be just a catchy title to get people to come to your seminar.

[liquidstatik]

..

[Colonel Flagg]

http://www.tvparty.com/bgifs8/lancebanner.jpg

[kahljorn]

i dont know how you refrained from making the christian feel stupid :(

[ZeldaQueen]

Maybe it was some weird denial thing, where she didn't even want to hear the word so she wanted it replaced with something else. Kind of like in the fourth Indiana Jones movie, where Jones tells Mutt not to call a snake a snake (so that he'll feel more comfortable touching it).

[Grislygus]

i dont know how you refrained from making the christian feel stupid :(

Honestly, I was completely intimidated by such fervent, stalwart, and burning insistence on something that contained no logic whatsoever.

And not even crazy, faith-based sense logic, either! Literally, there was no possible rationale I could come up with to explain the thought processes involved with the words coming out of her mouth. I mean, I get why most ultrareligious zealots believe what they do, but there was no explanation, at all, by anyone's belief structure, as to why the hell she would say the word "revolution" out of the blue, or expect anyone to know what the hell she was talking about

[Dixie]

I think I love you Flagg.

[Grislygus]

Especially since it is the only sane answer to my confusion

[ZeldaQueen]

Shame you didn't ask her what it was. Maybe she was trying to make a joke.

[Colonel Flagg]

Nope, ZQ - those Religious Right Zealots don't know the meaning of the word "joke".

YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS - REPENT!

Just read the story about the Catholic Priest who wants all those HEATHEN Obama-voter-baby-killers to seek absolution before receiving communion at HIS church.

[ZeldaQueen]

Nope, ZQ - those Religious Right Zealots don't know the meaning of the word "joke".

YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS - REPENT!

Just read the story about the Catholic Priest who wants all those HEATHEN Obama-voter-baby-killers to seek absolution before receiving communion at HIS church.
Seriously? Where can I find that story?

And of course they can't make jokes. They can try though. They probably heard of this mysterious thing called "humor" that people set so much store by and want to take a stab at it.

[Dixie]

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/11/diocese-repudia.html

[Colonel Flagg]

Religious Right Humor:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BECAUSE HE WAS GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Believe me, you don't need that kind of humor ....

[Dixie]

Just google "Chick Tracts"
That's all you need.

[Colonel Flagg]

I Loooooove Jack Chick!!! :love :lol The trouble is ... he's not trying to be funny. My favorite has to be "Allah Had No Son":

"I've been a Muslim all my life, but after talking with Mr. Christian for 90 seconds, I now realize the error of my ways, and wish to be baptized."

Now that's humor, baby!

[Dixie]

There are so many awesome tracts that I can't can never pick just one.
Halloween, the rock band, the one with the little girl in the hospital because grandpa is a Shriner. They're all amazing.

[ZeldaQueen]

There are so many awesome tracts that I can't can never pick just one.
Halloween, the rock band, the one with the little girl in the hospital because grandpa is a Shriner. They're all amazing.

What about the Harry Potter one, where the two girls decide to get spirit guides (which aren't even evil, yet Chick has them be synonymous with demons) to let them work magic like Harry Potter. The one girl's Uncle Bob (the holy guy) tells her (really) that "the Potter books open a doorway that will put untold millions of kids in Hell"

Or the D&D one?

Or the ones about homosexuality, where Lil' Suzy tells her friends "if someone tries to make you gay, run away from them!"

Last one that comes up is the one where he somehow theorized that the Holocaust was not the Nazis' fault (as no Christian would kill) and that it was an elaborate plot actually brought on by the Vatican. :confused:

And has anyone checked out his "sources"? The people are almost all known to be liars/unhinged. One of them, a former nurse, roomed with a delusional woman named Elaine (who claimed to have been a Satanistic High Priestess for 17 years), and appeared to have administered nearly-lethal levels of Demerol on Elaine.

[Dixie]

Jack Chick is very special and has no need for your logic.

[ZeldaQueen]

Apparently. How else would he blame Catholicism for founding Islam and Communism?

And I remember one where a girl's sick and gets saved by her Grandmother but I don't know the one about the Shriner. What was it called?

[Colonel Flagg]

ZQ and CiG - Ye have SINNED.

Repent!

[ZeldaQueen]

Aw, I didn't mean too... T_T

Shall I flog myself?

[Tadao]

Or kiss each other.

[Grislygus]

Or just let CiG flog you

[Dixie]

She's too young for me.
I'd break her and then you guys wouldn't have a young impressionable mind to corrupt.

All the Chick Tracts are available on Jack Chick's website.

I <3 to sin.

[Grislygus]

Aw, just grow a pair and do it

[Dixie]

I do!
I just don't tell you guys about every person I sleep with.
Really though, she's too young for me.

[Tadao]

Seriously, she didn't tell you guys about me yet :p

[Dixie]

Yeah, sorry 'bout that guys.
I just didn't want to embarrass Tadao.
He passed out drunk and had whiskey dick.
Not really much else to say about that one.

[Grislygus]

That's my dream date :(

[Tadao]

That wasn't whiskey dick, it was japanese dick.

[Dixie]

Fuck, I can't tell the difference.
Haven't had to many asian men.
Maybe if I was a 10 year old it would have worked.

[Dixie]

I told you guys she was too young, you scared her off!

[Grislygus]

You didn't seize the moment

[Dixie]

I refuse to be the corrupter.
They have to come to me.

[Grislygus]

Pffft.

[Dixie]

I may be immoral, but I have rules for these things.

[Grislygus]

Rules are meant to be broken, haven't you ever seen anything made by the Asians, forced sex makes the victim love you forever, like the girl-shaped pillow the writer/director/animator keeps in his basement

[Dixie]

She's too young for me.
I take care of all that forced sex stuff when they seem ready.

[Grislygus]

They're ready when you are :eek

[Dixie]

Only when they come to me asking for it.
I have one that has asked for it, but I'm waiting for her to get back in touch with me to reschedule.

[Grislygus]

Whatever, amateur, what kind of two-bit lesbian freakshow you runnin'

[Dixie]

Hahahah
If you only knew.....

[Grislygus]

I do know. I'm outside of your window, ala Animal House. Speaking of, Jim's got a twelve gauge pointed at me, mind callin him off, I'm trying to work here

[Dixie]

Hahahaha!
Joke's on you!
We don't own a gun and you could join if you had a cute girlfriend!
HAHA!

[Grislygus]

Oh shit, then whose house am I at

[Grislygus]

I thought you were looking a little redheaded

[Dixie]

I used to be a red-head.
Dyed it brown for now.
Thinking of dyeing it black next.

[Grislygus]

Well, I got a few bullet wounds and the redneck got my camera, but I still stand by my decision

[Dixie]

Lesson learned then!

[Grislygus]

PPFFFT yeah right, I'm coming back with a camcorder

[Dixie]

Camouflage my friend!

[Grislygus]

I was dressed like a fire hydrant, does that count

[Dixie]

Rednecks don't have fire hydrants!
Try dressing like a gunrack.

[Grislygus]

THAT'S what I was missing

[Tadao]

I'm a lvl 53 rouge! Can I play too!

[ZeldaQueen]

Umm, I seem to have missed quite a bit of conversation...:hypno

And don't worry, I wasn't scared off. I was in class and havn't been at a computer since this morning.

And yeah I know they are, but do you know what that tract's called? If you can't remember fine but I don't really feel like sorting through a hundred tracts of "If you are a Jew/Catholic/Pagan/Muslim/Communist/Witch/celebrator of halloween/fan of rock and roll music, you're screwed unless you FIND JESUS!" (Good idea. Where is he?)

I don't mind people supporting their own religion, but I hate when it's at the cost of other people's beliefs. And yes, I know it's possible.

[Sam]

GUYS, I AM WIELDING THE HOLY AVENGER.

[Grislygus]

IN HIS PANTS

[ZeldaQueen]

Of course.

[Dixie]

Is it bigger than a baby's arm?

[Sam]

IT REQUIRES TWO HANDS TO WIELD.

[Sam]

AND YOU HAVE TO BE A PALADIN.

[Dixie]

I used to have an elf paladin on Everquest.
But you'd have to share the Shrubbery.
Hahah

[Dixie]

I really need to stop that.

[Sam]

Don't even get me started. :(

[Neen]

I'm a lvl 53 rouge! Can I play too!

Rogue.

[Tadao]

My character blushes a lot! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!