Son of a-

[LordSappington]

A friend of mine expressed extreme interest in me, via e-mail, a few weeks back. At the time, played along a little, not heavily, just like 'Oh yeah, a movie would be kinda cool, maybe some time'
So cut to the next couple days. In theater tech, one of my friends and me are up on the beam setting up lights, and he tells me 'Oh yeah, 'Kirsten' told me you said you liked her' and I kinda laughed a little and said 'Oh, well I never said I liked her, really; I just said maybe we could see a movie. No big deal; I'm kind of second guessing myself, too; she seems really serious, and I dunno if that's what I need right now...'
Now, flip to just a few minutes ago. I open my e-mail, and she's sent me an e-mail saying 'John' told me that you didn't really want to go out with me, and that you were just playing me. I thought you were for real! Yadda yadda yadda I hate you!'
What the FUCK?! She won't even read my e-mails for me to explain, and 'John' acts like nothing's wrong!
So, I ask you now, should I try to patch things up with her, or leave her to make her own conclusion? And I'm debating about beating the ever loving fuck out of 'John', for obviously being a jealous cunt, since she dumped hima nd all.

[Fathom Zero]

Kill John.

[Tadao]

Tell her about your nut cancer for sympathy.

[Esuohlim]

If you follow through all the way with your arm your bowling ball won't keep going in the gutter, hopefully!

I didn't read the thread but I hope this helps

[LordSappington]

Tell her about your nut cancer for sympathy.
So Tadao, who's this week's Assburger?
Wait-
Fuck

[Tadao]

Nice block :highfive

What exactly is unlovable about this girl?

[MetalMilitia]

Have you tried sending her a litter on fancy paper, sprayed with fine perfume and sealed with a (lipstick) kiss?

The content is really irrelevant but I'd listen to a lot of Fabio After Dark while writing it to give you inspiration.

[Sam]

High school sure is rough. :(

[Esuohlim]

I know, I am so awkward and nobody understands me :(

Especially my parents f***K THEM

[Sam]

WTF IS THIS BULLSH*T?

[Zomboid]

I'M GONNA GO TO MY ROOM AND PLAY MY LINKIN PARK CD's AS LOUD AS I F*CKING WANT! SHIT YOU, MOM AND DAD!!!!

[LordSappington]

Really, I don't have much trouble with high school. I'm not really too angsty, I don't hate my parents, and none of that stereotypical teenage drama happens with me very often. But this really pissed me off.

[Fathom Zero]

Fuck John instead.

[pac-man]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDxmBnClB7k&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=these%20problems%20matter%20family%2 0guy&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=o&feature=player_embedded

[pac-man]

http://thumbnails.hulu.com/9/1012/33280_136x102_generated__r-lp63C1cEGBVh2Nk0snhw.jpg

"I wear long sleeve shirts under short sleeve shirts under long sleeve shirts."

[kahljorn]

lol some guy did this to me in highschool because this girl liked me who he liked

my suggestion would be to tell her that john still has feelings for her and that he's trying to make her hate you so that he can get inside her panties and see what happens :(

[Big McLargehuge]

get used to it asshole, woman don't make any sense and your friends really just want to hurt you.

[Crimson Ghost]

Get her pregnant and blame it on John.

[Dimnos]

You said you didnt really want to go out with her anyway... I dont see a problem. If a chick wants you and you say no, she is just going to keep harping on it until you give in or tell her to go fuck herself. Sounds like "John" did your dirty work for you. You should offer to buy him a beer.

[LordSappington]

Well, I don't want to go out with her, but she's still my friend, except because of what John said, now she thinks I'm just going around using women.

[Tadao]

Hopefully she tells the other girls that and you get some whores who want to blow you.

[Fathom Zero]

Fuck her. If she believes that, then forget her and John. She's not really a good friend if she's not trying to figure out the true story.

[DevilWearsPrada]

The only way to fix this is to have a threesome.

[Perndog]

See "Chasing Amy" for the proper method to arrange this.

[LordSappington]

She sent me an email saying our friend told her what really happened, and try to get together with me.
I told her to piss off.
Am I doing it right yet?

[Tadao]

Depends on what you want. I thought you wanted her as a friend. You just proved what your buddy said is true.

[LordSappington]

Well, when she makes a huge deal about something, makes me lose sleep for weeks, basically messes with my emotions, and then out of nowhere tries to act like nothing happened? Fuck that.

[Sacks]

Ask her why she thinks you'd want to bother having a friendship with someone who is so completely childish and disrespectful. Then tell her John said she was into rimming and ask her what that actually tastes like.

[MetalMilitia]

Yah I want to know this too.

[Tadao]

She's gonna be "one of those" office workers :(

[Fathom Zero]

Sacks really has the right idea on this.

[LordSappington]

Ask her why she thinks you'd want to bother having a friendship with someone who is so completely childish and disrespectful. Then tell her John said she was into rimming and ask her what that actually tastes like.
Lately I've been completely ignoring her. It sounds lame and childish, but it absolutely tears up attention whores like her.

[Big McLargehuge]

you are in high school, no relationship you have now will matter in the least. so you should be fucking anything that will come near you.

[Tadao]

He wants to believe in love. I can't wait for the heart crushing thread.

[Sam]

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love

:(

[LordSappington]

He wants to believe in love. I can't wait for the heart crushing thread.
The joke's on YOU; I'm shooting myself when MY heart breaks. :lol

[Tadao]

You can at least post about it before you do >:

[LordSappington]

Never, it is my last laugh into the grave.

[Big McLargehuge]

yes, but by sharing it here we could all laugh you into your grave

[LordSappington]

I wonder if I can pull off haunting the internet. Randomly replace people's posts with 'lol dongs'.

[Sacks]

I think to do that your death has to involve electricity. Like fucking a light socket.

[Sam]

THAT WOULD TRULY BE... BANGKOK DANGEROUS :eek

[MetalMilitia]

I think it'd have to be a phone socket, though they don't carry much of a charge so it'd take some time to kill you. My guess is about the same amount of time as it takes to die of dehydration.

Wait, how did the lawnmower man get into the internet? Some sort of contraption made by a scientist I think. Yeah that would work.

[LordSappington]

Or I could strangle myself with a modem cord.