Roller derby girls are super hot :p

[Big McLargehuge]

ROLLER DERBY GIRLS ARE SUPER HOT

[Tadao]

Take the advise of post #8

[Perndog]

No they're not.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Alcohol is super effective. My friend just came up with a great way to prevent girls from drinking and driving too. "You just gotta fuck the drunk out of them"

[Fathom Zero]

Ask em out for a coffee.

Srsly.

[MetalMilitia]

You realise no one on i-mockery has ever talked to a girl right?

[Big McLargehuge]

i should have put in the first post that i only wanted the responses of girls

[Big McLargehuge]

"Hey, do you want to go out with me some time?" usually works for me.
but what if they say no :x

[Tadao]

http://www.pick-up-woman.com/ask-girl-out-on-date.shtml

How To Ask A Girl Out For Date

If it is a girl you are really interested in your mind might be filled with doubts and insecurities :
What if she says no ?
Am I trying to move too fast ?
Maybe she thought we were just friends and she will be offended if I ask.
All of these fears, although natural and common, are dumb. If you want a date with this girl you have the right to ask her out. Don't allow your life to be ruled by doubt and insecurity.

[MattJack]

but what if they say no :x

Brush that shi* off and then you just go right up to the next one and ask.

It's all a numbers game man. One has to say yes.

[Dixie]

While being flirty just ask if she'd like to go have dinner and some drinks sometime.
It's really not hard to do.
And if she says no, tell her you're just kidding and you think she's a fat ugly frigid cow.
That'll fix her.

[Tadao]

In a loud club.
You : "Would you like to dance?"
Her : "Hahaha, no."
You : "No, I said YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS!"

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just go up to her and yell "skeet skeet" at her. Worked for me twice.

[Perndog]

but what if they say no :x

Then they don't want to go out with you, and you get to find that out immediately instead of being strung along for weeks or longer.

[Big McLargehuge]

i asked a girl out today, she said no and it didn't bother me at all :0

[Zomboid]

DID SHE SAY IT'S CAUSE YOU'RE FAT? DEMAND ANSWERS!

[Sam]

Was it that roller derby girl we were talking about? :(

[Tadao]

Try to fight the urge to finger her pooper while you are asking her out next time.

[Big McLargehuge]

Was it that roller derby girl we were talking about? :(
no, she is waaaayyy out of my league

[Sam]

WELL IF YOU KEEP THAT NEGATIVE ATTITUDE UP IT'S NO WONDER

[Big McLargehuge]

she dates dudes that are all scrawny rockstar types. i went to a tarantula ad show and she totally went backstage with one of the guys :0

[Sam]

AND YOU JIZZED IN YOUR PANTS

[Tadao]

Even Meatloaf got the hotties. You gotta think BIG.

[Sam]

Like Doug.

[bigtimecow]

seriously, don't be like "lol will you be my girlfriend" because that's for fucking 8th graders. just keep seeing her and then we you guys start fucking on a regular basis, start calling her your girlfriend to other people and start holding her hand in public. otherwise there's this whole status compromise and it's just basdhasdasdasdauh

[Sam]

WRITE HER A NOTE WITH EMPTY BOXES BY YES OR NO AND TELL HER TO CHECK ONE.

:rolleyes

[Tadao]

Can I put my finger in your butt during sex?

[ ] Yes!
[ ] No!

[Big McLargehuge]

seriously, don't be like "lol will you be my girlfriend" because that's for fucking 8th graders. just keep seeing her and then we you guys start fucking on a regular basis, start calling her your girlfriend to other people and start holding her hand in public. otherwise there's this whole status compromise and it's just basdhasdasdasdauh
dude, i am not a fucking child. i am just wondering about the rules of courtship. because in the past girls have always come to me.

[bigtimecow]

then let her come to you... or on you ;D

[LordSappington]

no, she is waaaayyy out of my league
By 'out of my league', you best be meaning that you're better. They're like shaved gorillas, with boobs. And skates. And a derby.

[Big McLargehuge]

you clearly have never been to the tucson roller derby (http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/teams.php?id=6), while there are some of those most of the girls are hot as hell.

[Fathom Zero]

Mmmmm... roller derby girls.

[Tadao]

They are usually in great shape.

[Sam]

I love roller derby girls. :(

[Esuohlim]

DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I DO

THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU'LL EVER GET

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Or you should hold her hand on a regular basis and fuck her in public.

[Big McLargehuge]

DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I DO

THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU'LL EVER GET

this advice is useless without knowing what you do :rolleyes

[Esuohlim]

BASICALLY WHAT I DO IS NEVER ASK ANYONE OUT :tear

[Big McLargehuge]

ME TOO :cry

[MetalMilitia]

I don't know why milhouse is so unsuccessful with the ladies - all he needs to say is "Hey I'm a moderator on the I-Mockery forums" and they'd be like putty in his hands.

[Dixie]

I've changed my mind about you guys.
Stick to chat lines.

[Big McLargehuge]

you know you can't trust any of those internet girls ;)

[LordSappington]

More like internet 'girls'.

[Big McLargehuge]

oh yeah, cause there are no girls on the internet, i forgot about that :rolleyes

[Sam]

MORE LIKE INTERNET "GIRLS" :rolleyes

[MetalMilitia]

YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE GIRLS YOU IGNORANT FUCK? :ROLLEYES

[Esuohlim]

WTF IS THIS ****SHIT

[LordSappington]

oh yeah, cause there are no girls on the internet, i forgot about that :rolleyes
Go into any public aol chatroom. My case will most likely be proven in about two minutes.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm changing my prior advice. Go for the Roller Derby Girl. 75% of roller girls are really great looking.

http://qcrg.net/category/16/suicidal-saucies.aspx

[Tadao]

75% of those are men :x

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Yeah,.....but they're good looking.

[Big McLargehuge]

75% of me is man baby

[LordSappington]

I'm changing my prior advice. Go for the Roller Derby Girl. 75% of roller girls are really great looking.

http://qcrg.net/category/16/suicidal-saucies.aspx
Seriously, I saw one, maybe two, girls in there that might have been okay. Assuming they aren't like those transvestites on Maury, where you can't tell them apart from a moderately attractive woman.

[Big McLargehuge]

Who the fuck are you? Go away.

[Perndog]

75% of me is man baby

This gave me an image of a grotesque 6-foot-tall toddler.

I think I know why you're having trouble with the girls.

[LordSappington]

75% of me is man baby
Ah, just another senile emo high schooler. I'll probably die off the next big freeze.

[Big McLargehuge]

what?

[LordSappington]

I'm like a flea. Small and annoying.
Except I don't really do any good for the natural balance in the end.

[DevilWearsPrada]

gaywad :rolleyes

[Dixie]

gaywad :rolleyes
Pot meet kettle. Kettle, this is pot.
I think you guys know what to do.

[Big McLargehuge]

can we get a mod in here? this thread is dead.

[Skulhedface]

The only practical advice you can get in that situation is to just man up and ask a girl out. If you're worried about social stigmas, (ie some girl saying something to the effect of "EWWWMYGAWD, that freak just asked me out!") then grow a pair. I tell you that to tell you this: Once you DO find one willing to be your girlfriend, what's more worth it? Some assface who laughs at you, or knowing someone will suck your junk (eventually)?

[kahljorn]

I've never seen an attractive roller derby girl. They all look like they were constructed out of linkin logs. I mean the roller derby was basically designed so that ugly amazon-lookin-bitches could have some place in society.

[MattJack]

They all look like they were constructed out of linkin logs.

:lol

[Big McLargehuge]

http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=114 tell me she isn't attractive. but then again http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=158 :\

[kahljorn]

I'm sure if you looked hard enough you could find an attractive roller derby girl.

[Big McLargehuge]

a higher percentage of roller derby girls are attractive compared to the general population.

[MattJack]

she's aight

[kahljorn]

a higher percentage of roller derby girls are attractive compared to the general population. :posh

http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=116
Here's your beautiful tuscon roller derby girls.

I looked at all the girl's on that page and only one of them could pass for a woman. And they all look like somebodies mother. Or grandmother. So far odds aren't in your favor.

[kahljorn]

Instead of going to juvenile hall, Ore decided to do manual labor at a copper mine in Bisbee, AZ as restitution. Little did she know what manual labor really meant. Poor Ore soon became known as Cheap Ore, only worth a few pennies to the copper miners she aided. One night, after working with a miner that reeked of patchouli, Ore decided to not recycle, but waste herself. Literally. Cheap Ore crawled into a dumpster and waited for the garbage truck to take her away with the rest of the trash. But in the bottom of the dumpster Ore found 3 things that would change her life forever-a Minor Threat record, a pair of roller skates, and a flyer from Tucson Roller Derbyís Copper Queens (who were looking for skaters). Ore snuck back to her room above the mines and listened to the record while she perused the flyer. It didnít take long for Ore to figure out what to do. She strapped on the roller skates and headed to Tucson. And the rest, my friends, is history in the making.

hahahahaahaha from that link of the beautiful tuscon roller girl omg :clap :applause that deserves an academy award

[MattJack]

That would be a 90 minute movie i'd watch.

[kahljorn]

it could be epic you should read the first three paragraphs.

[Big McLargehuge]

you come to tucson and we will straighten this out

[kahljorn]

you gonna sic the derby girls on me or something

[Big McLargehuge]

you wish ;0

[kahljorn]

yea that was the only thing i didn't get for christmas beat by giants

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Good looking

http://qcrg.net/category/22/Team_QCRG/page/189/____Tuesday_Hula.aspx

Not good looking but hilarious

http://qcrg.net/category/20/Alley_Kats/page/173/Candy_Neckbrace_____.aspx

http://qcrg.net/category/18/Devil_Dollies/page/157/Pat_Slayjack__Assistant_Coach_.aspx

I would love to be a roller derby ref just so I could tell people my name is Gorilla McGillicutty.

[Big McLargehuge]

yea that was the only thing i didn't get for christmas beat by giants
i should introduce you to Knockka Ho' Down

[Tadao]

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/3036384561_0ef2686177.jpg

[Grislygus]

http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=116
Here's your beautiful tuscon roller derby girls.

I looked at all the girl's on that page and only one of them could pass for a woman. And they all look like somebodies mother. Or grandmother. So far odds aren't in your favor.

Hahahaha I finally look at this thread and kahl zeroes in on the exact pic I planned to make fun of

That thing has a dick, I promise you

[kahljorn]

:lol, did you read her profile? it's fucking amazing.

[Grislygus]

Not only do I believe it is heavily based on real events, I propose that the only differences between the profile biography and her real biography is omissions of childhood sodomy and the more boring details of coming to terms with its identity as a "transgendered individual"

[kahljorn]

i like how one second in the story she's doing manual labor at a copper mine in lieu of jail time and the next she was skating off to tucson. I didn't know they let you roam around freely at labor camps.

;/

[MattJack]

Houston has em too! Maybe I can roller skate on over and pick me up some ladies.

http://houstonrollerderby.com/public/Pag189.aspx

CLAUDIA VAN-DAMAGE (http://houstonrollerderby.com/public/pag158.aspx)


Signature Move: The K.O. Hip Check. The streets around the Moulin Rouge can be dangerous for a girl after hours. Not wanting to touch potential attackers, Van Damage uses her hips to knock out her opponents on the track.


Werk them hips gurl

[kahljorn]

what the fuck is wrong with roller derby girls, were they raised by the internet or something? Every profile i read is like, "HER LIFE WAS SO HARD AND SHE WAS GANGSTA SINCE AGE NINE DONT FUCKING FUCK WITH THIS MAD CAT KAZOO OR SHELL FIX HER THIGHS ON YOUR FACE"

She made friends with a burlesque dancer/double agent spy named Mata Scari. The two reeked havoc in the suburbs while masquerading as housewives. They were thrown out of the local sewing circle due to their crude language, strange tastes in clothes, and their desire to skate until the death.Why can't they just say shit like, "Ms. Treatment is an ex-liberal arts major who dropped out of real school to pursue a life as a professional secretary and part-time internet burlesque dancer. She joined the stupid dervy teeam because she had nothing better to do and no friends and she wanted men to stare at her."

man this picture is awesome:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kmcclain/2414709160/in/set-72157605185664193/

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

As soon as I saw it the zany sounds effects queued in my brain.

[Tadao]

I remember when Roller Derby hit one of it's heights in the 80s, there was a crocodile pit in the middle of the roller rink.

[Sam]

MURDERBALL

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Next match up in my city is next saturday. I'll tell them to get a crocodile....or an alligator at least.

Team QCRG against the "Eh Team!" from Hamilton, ON.

[Zomboid]

GO CANADA!

If they were from any other province, I could almost guarantee that there'd be at least one really beastly native chick on that team. Back me up on this, chimp.

Edited for sensitivity.

[Big McLargehuge]

all the racists in canada remind of all the racists in my home town. i quit a job once because every one there called navajos "wah wahs".

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

all the racists in canada remind of all the racists in my home town. i quit a job once because every one there called navajos "wah wahs".


My friend is 1/16th something or other and someone called him that. They got dealth with quickly.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Came up with an awesome derby name in this dream I had.

Kmuckleberry Fin

Or Will He Wonk Her

[Jeanette X]

ROLLER DERBY GIRLS ARE SUPER HOT

You might enjoy this then:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y4WhBA4KG4
:rock

[Chojin]

Going to roller derby is the lesbian equivalent of asking someone out for coffee.

Hope this helps!

[Kitsa]

I don't even get why someone would call a Navajo a wah-wah.

Is it like a 50s-tv war-whoop reference?

[kahljorn]

Yea i think its that thing where you hold your hand over your mouth and remove it then put it t here again and then remove it again while going, "WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH"

but that sounds more like, "WO WO WO WO WO WO WO"

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Martian girl from Planet V

Will you marry me?

"WO WO WO WO "

She came from outer space

She came to see

If Earth was good

"WO WO WO WO WO "

[Zomboid]

My friend is 1/16th something or other and someone called him that. They got dealth with quickly.
Huh? Is that a joke? Someone with a small percentage of Aboriginal ancestry gets in DEAL WIT DEM mode because someone tossed out a (relatively minor, inoffensive, and stupid) racial slur? That's fucking ludicrous, but pretty typical of a lot of Americans, from what I've seen and heard.

There's a shitload of Canadians that have enough enough Aboriginal ancestry to get the Metis status and benefits (myself included, if I ever felt like doing it), but they don't fly off the handle when people make insensitive comments. Unless you're just fighting the ignorance aspect of the racial slurs, getting super offended and pissed off because someone insults a fraction of your bloodline is one of the dumbest and most self-righteous things you can do.

And as an aside - I highly doubt that many Americans have much experience with anything "Native American" outside of the proud, strong, warrior shit that they see on TV. Any community in the prairie provinces here is likely to have at least one reserve nearby (my town had about 3), so growing up with them as your peers instead of some kind of abstract idea that serves as a hot-button issue for self-righteous douchebags is definitely a good thing. You get way more overtly racist rednecks than you'd like to deal with, but that's just as disgusting as the people that pretend to have any knowledge of the topic they're getting so upset about.

[Tadao]

There a like two kinds on American Indians. One is a lazy drunk who gets money handed to him and cries about how his peoples heritage is being destroyed by the white man.

Then there are the others who build schools and try to teach the children about things like respect for ones surroundings.

[Zomboid]

There are certainly a lot from both of those categories, but there's also some in-between ones too. One of my buddies is Native and gets annoyed when teenagers swagger around imitating "black culture," but he just got a cowboys from hell tattoo and I have yet to point out the irony in that to him.

[kahljorn]

SUPPOSEDLY most native american reservations are basically ghettos.

[Zomboid]

All of the ones that I've seen are like a cross between a trailer park and a ghetto. The crime on the reservations is usually really bad, and there's a lot of STD's, drugs, and murder going around!

[executioneer]

lots of the reservations near me have casinos on them, the nearest one is getting seriously close to Vegas-size :eek

[Big McLargehuge]

And as an aside - I highly doubt that many Americans have much experience with anything "Native American" outside of the proud, strong, warrior shit that they see on TV. Any community in the prairie provinces here is likely to have at least one reserve nearby (my town had about 3), so growing up with them as your peers instead of some kind of abstract idea that serves as a hot-button issue for self-righteous douchebags is definitely a good thing. You get way more overtly racist rednecks than you'd like to deal with, but that's just as disgusting as the people that pretend to have any knowledge of the topic they're getting so upset about.

I have lived within ten miles of a reservation my entire life. I have been to the dances and ceremonies and shit in school. I have paid many a drunk indian to buy me booze and i hate rednecks. All of america isn't cali and the east cost. We hardcore out here too.

[Zomboid]

I was referring to 10k's comment about his "1/16th Cherokee" friend flying off the hande.

The other day, someone made a comment about Welsh people speaking funny, and I REALLY LET 'IM HAVE IT!!!! It's a small, unimportant of who I am, BUT DAMNED IF IT DIDN'T MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL!!!!! >:

[Tadao]

I have said that I am only Japanese when it is convenient.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I was referring to 10k's comment about his "1/16th Cherokee" friend flying off the hande.

The other day, someone made a comment about Welsh people speaking funny, and I REALLY LET 'IM HAVE IT!!!! It's a small, unimportant of who I am, BUT DAMNED IF IT DIDN'T MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL!!!!! >:


I ended up putting my percentages together a number of years ago and I'm 3-5 % French Canadian(might be slightly off) because of the large amounts of Irish and Polish percentages from varying sides of my families. My friends gave me more guff(I'm at work) about it than necessary. I'm proud of even the smallest amount of what I am.

http://www.angelfire.com/ny4/americanpride/

For a glimpse ^

[Zomboid]

I don't care what ancestry I have. I'm Canadian, you're American, and we're both mutts. Really, unless you're a large percentage of something (even 25%), it sounds really dumb to be going off on how proud you are.

I'm half "French-Canadian" and I don't really care because aside from my name, it has nothing to do with who I am.

[Fathom Zero]

Yeah, we're all typically white as fuck, so it doesn't matter either way that I'm 1/16th Blackfoot (great-great-grandmother) or Polish/German/Irish/Welsh/French.

S'all idiotic. I would apply for tribal citizenship or whatever it is, bt it'd feel like cheating to me. Besides, finding paperwork on my great-great-grandmother's existence is proving extremely hard.

[Zomboid]

You can get some ridiculous scholarships and things like that here if you have Metis status, but yeah, I don't feel like going through the trouble either. It's far back enough that I'd have to reeeeeally do some digging, and I'm not up for that.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Going to the last roller derby game where our QCRG travel team will be taking on the Philly Roller Girls travel team. I've heard the Philly team is really good so I'm assuming we're going to get squashed.

[Big McLargehuge]

i found a super hot pair of really tiny ladies rollerskates and just need a roller girl to fill them :(

[Jeanette X]

I don't care what ancestry I have. I'm Canadian, you're American, and we're both mutts. Really, unless you're a large percentage of something (even 25%), it sounds really dumb to be going off on how proud you are.




Because its not okay to take the slightest amount of pride in your heritage unless you meet an arbitrary minimum blood quantum. :blah

[MattJack]

IM 100% AMERICAN

[MattJack]

HELL YEA

[Fathom Zero]

Does Austin have roller derby and does the roller derby have hot girls?

By transitive logic, Austin has hot girls.

I must go.

[MattJack]

Texas Roller Girls (http://www.txrollergirls.com/)

The Texas Rollergirls, Austin born and bred, is 100% skater-owned and managed. The league is composed of four home teams supported by a loyal, enthusiastic fan base: Hell Marys (http://www.txrollergirls.com/hellmarys/), Hotrod Honeys (http://www.txrollergirls.com/hotrodhoneys/), Honky Tonk Heartbreakers (http://www.txrollergirls.com/heartbreakers/), and Hustlers (http://www.txrollergirls.com/hustlers/). A fifth team, the Texecutioners (http://www.txrollergirls.com/texecutioners/), is comprised of all-star members from each of the four home teams. In 2006, the Texecutioners were crowned the WFTDA Champions of the first Flat Track National Tournament.As for any cute ones... Ehhh..

They all look like chicks that played softball in HS to me, and those girls always had a case of Manbeasticus (at least in my HS).

Austin has tons of beautiful women, but I don't think they are into roller derby :(

[Fathom Zero]

Cryin' shame, I tell ya.

[Womti]

http://www.pick-up-woman.com/ask-girl-out-on-date.shtml

How To Ask A Girl Out For Date

If it is a girl you are really interested in your mind might be filled with doubts and insecurities :
What if she says no ?
Am I trying to move too fast ?
Maybe she thought we were just friends and she will be offended if I ask.
All of these fears, although natural and common, are dumb. If you want a date with this girl you have the right to ask her out. Don't allow your life to be ruled by doubt and insecurity.

http://www.pick-up-woman.com/images/logo.gif
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

[Womti]

I found that on the site. :lol

[proofrollershot]

I just saw these girls ....holy crap

http://acderby.com/cms/content/view/16/31/ :orgasm

ins star wars form... http://acderby.com/cms/content/view/104/140/

[Fathom Zero]

Damn.

[executioneer]

proofrollershot are you or are you not a spambot

[proofrollershot]

Nope, I just had to sign up for this forum just to prove a point that dallas derby girls are hot!....was going to go out with a friend the roller derby, did a Google search for " are roller derby girls hot or dykes" and this forum came up....posted the post after I got back, thought y'all would enjoy the sharing.


...my favorite by the way...http://acderby.com/cms/content/view/97/125/
...I keep editing this, but can't help the hotness...another angle (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=172003691&albumID=387608&imageID=28110657)

[Tadao]

Yeah, but those girls are not hot.

[executioneer]

i dunno man that fabric doesn't look like it breathes very well, they probably could use a refreshing glass of ice water

[Tadao]

My guess is they have been drinking hot gravy.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:swisschalet

[Dimnos]

Guys. That girl is totally hot if you like 12 kinds of STDs. Your just gay.

[Terra]

My guess is they have been drinking hot gravy.

I hear gravy is a good lubricant.

[kahljorn]

Does Austin have roller derby and does the roller derby have hot girls?

By transitive logic, Austin has hot girls.Not really >: BETTER CHECK UR VENN WITH THE PREMISE, "SOME ROLLER DERBY'S HAVE GIRLS THAT ARE CONSIDERED 'hot'" or "SOme roller derby girls are girls that are considered hot."

CHECK YOUR DISTRIBUTION

[Fathom Zero]

Not really >: BETTER CHECK UR VENN WITH THE PREMISE, "SOME ROLLER DERBY'S HAVE GIRLS THAT ARE CONSIDERED 'hot'" or "SOme roller derby girls are girls that are considered hot."

CHECK YOUR DISTRIBUTION

I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN SHIt

[kahljorn]

IM NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU EXPLAIN ANYTHING IM JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU FROM AN ERROR THAT WILL LAND YOU IN BED WITH A FUG BUG.

[Big McLargehuge]

jkDIYvawd0o

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

New season starts next saturday and I can't wait.

[Aries]

I've met quite a few derby girls. You do realize most of them are lesbians, right?

[The Leader]

Shut up.

[Pentegarn]

I've met quite a few derby girls. You do realize most of them are lesbians, right?

to answer your question. Yes.

[Tadao]

I don't jerk to lesbian porn cause none of them like men. :(

[Pentegarn]

You need to learn masturbatory compartmentalization.

[Dildo Faggins]

its simple just be better at eating pussy than a les-bo then apply your skill to the desired roller

all it really takes is good breath controll

[Dimnos]

Nice punctuation. :\

[Zhukov]

I don't even know what Roller Derby is, but a girl at my work invited me to be a judge at a Roller Derby.

I hope it's more of a guest judge type thing where I just give a few light hearted comments at the end, rather than keep track of scoring and who is breaking rules. I don't even know if they have rules. I don't even know if this is a sport or an art form or what.

[Pentegarn]

In the states, women's roller derby is a sport. Inasmuch as it has rules and a scoring system.

As best as my memory will allow, I will try to explain what I remember of it.

The teams roller skate in laps. I believe each team has a 'jammer'. Her job is to lap the opponents team. Each team takes timed turns on offense. The team gets a point every time the jammer laps the opposing team. The opposing team can block the jammer in a limited way by trying to use their body to get in the jammers way. There is no shoving, striking, or (and this is where I may be off on the rules a lot) use of elbows or forearms. I believe the jammer has a small team to protect her, while the opposing team has enforcer like women who are supposed to knock her down legally. Though you will need to check your league policy to see what is or is not legal in that regard.

[Fathom Zero]

Maybe you'll see some girls lezzing out

[Zhukov]

Ok, but do I award points for that or what?

[Pentegarn]

I suppose you could award points for lesbo action at your descretion

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You also have to have a sweet roller derby name.

[Pentegarn]

The one I remembered most from the one I saw was a girl who called herself, "Snot Rocket Science"

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

This ref for the Derby here has his name as Pat Slayjack. Fucking love that.

[kahljorn]

man you know they had to ask you to be a judge because the last judge probably died

there's so many ways you could die as a judge for a roller derby that it could completely derail this thread.

ULTRA DIZZINESS WHICH CAUSES YOU TO PUKE SO HARD YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK
SMASHED BY LESBIANS
AVVVAAAAALLLAAAAAANNNCCHHHHEEE

[executioneer]

oh man there's a good name for a rollerderby chick AVABLANCHE

[executioneer]

her theme is she is a southern belle

[Pentegarn]

I wouldn't be surprised if there is already a roller derby girl named Avablanche

[Sam]

SMASHED BY LESBIANS SOUNDS LIKE AN ALRIGHT WAY TO GO :(

IF THEY'RE HOT ONES :(

[Sam]

"HERE LIES SAM
SMASHED BY HOT LESBIANS
HE DIED THE WAY HE LIVED
JERKING OFF WIDLY"

[bigtimecow]

2zHvI3_fwQY

the ending is relevant...Sam

[Sam]

:lol

[kahljorn]

RARA-RANDY. RA-RA RA-RANDY

[bigtimecow]

I WANNA SEE SOME TATTIIIEEEEEEEEEEEES

[Sam]

next saturday is roller derby and I'm GOIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN

[kahljorn]

DONT GO SAM

I KNOW ITS YOUR DESTINY BUT I DONt WANT YOU TO DIE YET

[Grislygus]

:(



http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/untitled-21.png

[Sam]

YESSSSSSSSSSS

TIME..... TO DIE

:BLADERUNNER

[Fathom Zero]

RUTGER HAUER POWER HOUR

[Zhukov]

So I don't get to be a judge; I get to be a referee. I have to wear black and white stripes and I have to rollerskate (even though I don't know how). Wish me luck for Wednesday.

Oh, I also have to know all the rules.

[kahljorn]

YOURE DEAD

tHIS IS eXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKIN ABOut

[Tadao]

Do you have a cool referee name?

[Sam]

His name will be Heydykes Crushmeplz

[Zhukov]

That's actually a pretty cool name :\

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE HAD A ROLLER SKATING RINK, NOW I'M THROWING MY LIFE AWAY FOR GIRLS.

[Tadao]

I'm pretty damm proud of you right now.

[Dimnos]

If it were me I would get REALLY fucking drunk before going.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://qcrg.net/category/19/Refs/page/262/___Degree_Johnson.aspx

:lol

Zhukov, you need to be better than this somehow.

[Tadao]

I know one of the posters on the DM boards is a ref, and I think this is him.

http://qcrg.net/category/19/Refs/page/206/Senor_Wiener.aspx

Yep, it is.

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs163.snc1/6096_1179995334669_1071729093_561000_1580097_n.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dungeon Master?

edit: oh, D Mode makes more sense

[kahljorn]

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE HAD A ROLLER SKATING RINK, NOW I'M THROWING MY LIFE AWAY FOR GIRLS LESBIANS.
PERSPECTIVE.

HOW COME EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH THE ROLLER DERBY HAS SOME FUCKING BACKSTORY. HOW DO PEOPLE EVEN THINK OF THAT SHIT. I WOULD BE LIKE, "HEY IM SOME GUY AND IM GONNA BE A ROLLER DERBY REFEREE" AND MY NAME WOULD BE "STEWERT."

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

YOU GOTTA HAVE A BACKSTORY. OTHERWISE YOU GET LESBOSSED AND DIE.

[Sam]

HEY IM SOME GUY WHO WANTS TO WATCH ROLLER DERBY, TIME TO GET LESBOOZED AND DIED

[Zhukov]

Thank god it was just a practice today. I stood with my hands in my pockets and wondered what was going on, and eventually I realised that it's going to be practice for maybe some more weeks (??), so I can skive and pretend like I know what I'm doing until it comes to the actual competition.

When that time comes I will flee.

The girl that invited me was giggling at my stupid jokes, which is a bad sign.

[Pentegarn]

Why? The girl that invited you not to your tastes?

[Zhukov]

No, it just means that I will probably end up staying.

[The Leader]

You should probably learn how to roller skate.

[Tadao]

and the rules

[Sam]

and the lezbooze

[Pentegarn]

And what this girl that laughs at all your jokes likes (both in and out of the sack)

[Tadao]

How's this working out for ya Zhukov?

[Pentegarn]

What Tadao said.

[kahljorn]

maybe they were practicing and they brushed up against him and he felt decimated and realized what he was getting himself into

[Zhukov]

The girl that introduced me to roller derbying went on holiday or something, so I took the opportunity to flee like fuck.

Part of me wanted to be able to say to people "Yeah, I'm in to Roller Derby", so they would think that I was cool, the other part of me, the smarter part, knew that I would end up saying "Yeah, I was in to Roller Derby; that's how I lost my legs".

In the end, I was a coward. She's got my number, I don't have hers. To be honest she was more of a gate-way girl to get to the other ones.

[Terra]

She might still call you.

[Sam]

YOU BLEW IT

[Zhukov]

Nah, I don't want her to call me. Not really interested in her particularly.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Roller Derby tonight. GO DEVIL DOLLIES.

Zhukov: You should at least go back because roller derby girls are usually a blast to drink with at the very least.

Terra: You're picture is hot.

[Terra]

Thank you, Ghost! It's not up for long. I'm still searching for an avatar. :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Keep that one. :)

[Zhukov]

From what I gathered they were into steampunk, tattoos, The Muppets, tattoos of The Muppets, and DnD.

Hope this helps.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol That sounds about right.

[Zhukov]

Seriously, fucking Beaker up her arm, with a dragon perched on his hair. What the fuck?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's real bad. I just looked up someone with a beaker tattoo on flickr.....real bad.

[Tadao]

From what I gathered they were into steampunk, tattoos, The Muppets, tattoos of The Muppets, and DnD.

Hope this helps.

That sounds like fun :(

[Fathom Zero]

One of my anthropology professors' wives is in the roller derby here and he said that while he wouldn't give extra credit, he would be inclined to be more understanding when grading our papers should people go. :)

[Terra]

So what do you do? Turn your stub in with your papers? :confused:

[Fathom Zero]

Walk up, I guess. I haven't been yet.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

At the roller derby right now and they started playing a disco song....possibly carwash but I was the only person that thought it was funny.

:rollerdisco

[Terra]

Disco??? I would have thought it would have been heavy metal. Don't know why. Those are some sexy, hard core wimenz.

[The Leader]

Hence the reason that he thought it was funny.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Forgot to mention. We have a team called the Nickel City Knockouts so their initials are NCK.

Their entrance was Rick Astley's Never gonna give you up with NCKROLLED flashing in front of it. I got a kick out of it but I don't think a lot of people got it.

[Zhukov]

WTF my ex just sent me an email telling me she is going to start going to Roller Derby. Wtf is going on with fucking roller derby? Someone is playing a cruel joke with my life Truman Show style.

Either I'm being forced into becoming active in the Roller Derby 'scene', or I am being warned against it, and I don't know which one it is.

[Pentegarn]

Why would she bother telling you about that I wonder?

[Zhukov]

I honestly don't know. She wasn't talking to me, and I sent her an email months ago asking if she wanted to talk. All of a sudden, she does. About Roller Derby.

I didn't even know what Roller Derby was until I read this thread. Then, soon after, the new girl at work wants me to join in with whatever it is you do at Roller Derby. Learn to Referee or some shit. As soon as I dodge that bullet, careening back into my life like a fat lesbian on roller skates, here comes Roller Derby again with my ex telling me all about god damn ROLLER DERBY. SHUT UP WORLD ABOUT ROLLER DERBY LEAVE ME IN PEACE.

[Dimnos]

Why did you "dodge that bullet" again? There quite possibly was some tang in it for you. Was she fugly?

[Zhukov]

She certainly wasn't my type. Plus she was really loud.

[Dimnos]

Oh loud. Worst quality in a woman. :(

[kahljorn]

the world is out to lesbosmash you zhukov

[Zhukov]

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I totally got lesbosmashed btw.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Vincered/DSC_0946CROP.jpg

Check out the guy top left wearing the stripes.

[Pentegarn]

I like that even the roller skates are striped

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's a guy in the top left?

[Zhukov]

Oh, that's a guy.

His derby name is 'Tardis'. That's telling enough in itself, and we joked that it was because he was bigger on the inside than he was on the outside. Fnar fnar.

[Tadao]

Where is the alligator pit? :(

[Dimnos]

And the lumberjacks? :(

[Pentegarn]

Also I find it odd that the male ref's shorts are shorter than the females are

[Fathom Zero]

I'm pretty sure it's just what he wanted.