I've got 99 problems

[Tadao]

But I welcome a bitch to be the hundredth.

:(

[Kitsa]

It's my experience that bitches often count for several problems.

[Tadao]

Yeah, but we usually categorize it into one.

[Babs]

but a bitch aint one for me..... wait yes it is. YOU ARE DESTROYING ME!!!! >:

[Cedar]

relationships always crash and burn ):

[Tadao]

It helps to think of them as a bitch to begin with, they usaully improve from there.

[Zhukov]

I sometimes have a problem regarding a woman, but I don't feel comfortable referring to her as a bitch. Things generally get worked out, and I would feel bad about it afterwards if I called her a bitch.

[Tadao]

It's a JayZ song.

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[LordSappington]

I thought that was OJ's line.

[Tadao]

I need someone like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75WFTHpOw8Y

[Babs]

she's taken by me tad so go back to having that hundredth problem... I'll join you soon after.

[Tadao]

To NOT having that hundredth you mean :(

[Babs]

excuse me, for not having the hundredth... I'm sorry

[Big McLargehuge]

I need a lady who will sleep in my bed. I have so many dirty things i want to do and only myself to do them to.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

At least your not The Haunted Mansion. I think they have like 999 problems.

[Zhukov]

It's a JayZ song.

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Yeah, I know. I'm not a fucking idiot.

[Chojin]

Yeah, I know. I'm not a fucking idiot.

http://www.halotech.org/forums/style_emoticons/default/pw-objection[1].gif

[Chojin]

also:

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/1233546585823.jpg

[Dimnos]

also:

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/1233546585823.jpg

:lol Nice

[Bod]

Please list all 99 of your problems.

[Tadao]

I'm not giving you more ammo >:

[Bod]

THe first step to solving your problems is admitting them. I'm only thinking of you...

[Tadao]

One of my problems is a fear of making lists.

[Bod]

Apparently a problem shared is a problem halved. So list them and we'll have 44.5 each. Make sure you give me the share that includes fear of making lists, that way you can then make the list.
DAmn, I'm good.

[Tadao]

I also have a problem with comprehension.

[Bod]

Well played, I'm now going to have to think about my retort, which, when it does come will be bloody good. I'm saving this space to edit it in later.

[Tadao]

I have a problem with that too.

[Tadao]

Well played, I'm now going to have to think about my retort, which, when it does come will be bloody good. I'm saving this space to edit it in later.

So I'm quoting it.

[Bod]

I don't have a problem with that.
The space is still saved.

[Tadao]

But if you put something in there now, I might not see it, and that could create all kinds of problems.

[Bod]

Then you'll no longer have just 99 problems. THEN you'll have to change the thread title to 'I got 99 problems plus a few more now just because I started this thread. Even if I delete it now the problems won't go away, why couldn't I foresee this happening?' I don't think you can have that amount of text in a thread title.

[Tadao]

No because having 99 problems is one of my problems, therefore if it went to 100 problems it would remove 1 of the problems leaving me with 99 problems again.

[Tadao]

There, happy now?

[Bod]

Having 99 problems could be one of the 99 problems. Thus you would still only be lumbered with 99. Until I decide to add to them with an as yet unspecified figure. It's the not knowing that's the problem, so now you do have 100. Except now that you have 100 problems, you're problem of 99 is now removed, making it only 99 problems left. So now you are rid of the problem of having 100 problems and it's a vicious circle. This vicious circle is another problem. So is it 99, 100 or 101 problems?

Potentially I have already added 2 problems to your 99.

[Tadao]

No being stuck in a vicious circle is problem #52. I already had that problem before you came along.

[Tadao]

I also haven't had a drink in 4 days, but when I buy a bottle tonight, I'm only replacing one problem with another.

[Bod]

Being stuck in a (that is any) vicious circle may well be problem 52, but this particular circle is altogether quite new and is deffo a three figure problem. And you casually neglected to mention that not knowing of how many more problems I will bring to the table is a big problem in itself. Sweeping it under the rug can also end up causing more problems.

[Tadao]

Oh, I am not contesting that you couldn't add to my problems. I'm just saying that you haven't yet. Chewing my nails till they bleed is one of them, do I add a number every time I do it?

[Kitsa]

Do you still have your appendix? Because I foresee another problem.

[Tadao]

I do! But getting it taken out would provide me with drugs.

[Kitsa]

uh-huh. Well, little bits of fingernail loooooooove to rupture appendices. They lodge there when you bite and swallow them. So that's either a problem or not a problem depending on how badly you want drugs.

[executioneer]

whoa really :( i'm probably in for a problem or two myself then :(

[Tadao]

Sounds like a job for mythbusters!

[Kitsa]

Some people believe it's an old wives' tale, but it's what the doctors where I went to school told us, and I've heard it from a few practicing physicians too. It makes sense...fingernail shards wouldn't be easily digested and would be a good shape to get hung up somewhere.

[Tadao]

I don't think I ever swallow them, I like to pick my teeth with the bigger pieces though.

[The Leader]

You know, I always thought that I was weird for doing that but now I feel a bit more assured knowing that someone else enjoys cramming bits of their nails in between their teeth. :)

[Bod]

I can't believe that I don't even amount to the sum of at least ONE problem.
I feel worthless.

[Tadao]

You fall into the category of women who aren't having sex with me.

[Bod]

A very big problem I'll not doubt!

[Tadao]

Doubt not you shant!

[Kitsa]

Tadao: I want to see a chart of that.

[Tadao]

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/4/3/128832692619613707.png

[kahljorn]

:lol THATS THE NATURAL WAY TO CLEAN YOUR TEETH CAVEMEN CLEAN THEIR TEETH LIKE THAT. JEANETTE WOULD SUPPORT THIS PROCESS.

but yea i know some guy whose appendix ruptured and he told me it was because he chewed/swallowed his fingernails :(