The Gospel of Gary.

[Guitar Woman]

And lo, Gary did meditate aside the waters of the River Jordan,
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35151418.jpg


Where he saw walking Jesus of Nazereth.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35156155.jpg


And Gary did forcibly position his foot in the Lord's dingleberries
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35157122.jpg


And Gary did take a brick, and taught the Son of God a lesson in PAIN.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35159477.jpg


And yea, Gary did pick up his spear, and instructed Jesus Christ in the ways of Gomorrah.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35163430.jpg


And lo, Jesus didn't know what the fuck.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35163665.jpg


And Gary's wrath was great, and he did get first century on that busta.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35165169.jpg

TO BE CONTINUED


http://rs526.rapidshare.com/files/185635662/frc_T_yO_tesment.rar (http://rs526.rapidshare.com/files/185635662/frc_T_yO_tesment.rar)

[Guitar Woman]

The next day, Gary did travel to Jerusalem and wailed on the elderly.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35220311.jpg


Now the guard was fed up with Gary's bullshit and did LAY DOWN THE LAW.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35235982.jpg


And yea, Gary did not give a shit.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35231804.jpg
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35239068.jpg


Now the guards took Gary and tried him with the armless guy Daniel.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35245318.jpg
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35246102.jpg
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35248413.jpg
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35250235.jpg
He aready has no arms, you jackass.


And Gary was set free, and did relapse and rolled out on them fools. And though Gary did LET OUT THE FURY, he was overcome and slain in the desert.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35258312.jpg
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/ArrowX/Gary-35265163.jpg

Gary: 1 AD - 30 AD :tear

[Big McLargehuge]

did you make that? :(

[bigtimecow]

i saw arrowX in the URL :(

[Sam]

hahhahahah guitar woman is really arrowX

BANNED

[Guitar Woman]

Arrowx sent me the game and pictures

I was gonna make my own story about topless girl Hitler, but I couldn't get fraps up and running :<

[Sam]

LIKELY STORY

[Big McLargehuge]

BANNED

[Tadao]

Assisting a ban circumvention?

[Nick]

What is this game?

[Guitar Woman]

It's called The You Testament, and there's a D/L link in the first post.

Basically it's Grand Theft Auto: Jesus Edition. You can study under Jesus and get magical powers and shit, and if your spirit bar is totally red you can meditate and learn evil miracles.

Not to mention all the shit you can do with hand to hand combat, since it's based on the engine of Wrestlemania '98. As pictured in the first post.

[Dimnos]

It's called The You Testament, and there's a D/L link in the first post.

Basically it's Grand Theft Auto: Jesus Edition. You can study under Jesus and get magical powers and shit, and if your spirit bar is totally red you can meditate and learn evil miracles.

Not to mention all the shit you can do with hand to hand combat, since it's based on the engine of Wrestlemania '98. As pictured in the first post.

I have to play this! :lol

[Guitar Woman]

Little warning, you get bombarded with scripture every 5 minutes or so.

[DevilWearsPrada]

Played this for like half an hour, john the baptist got all smart with me so I ripped his staff out of his hands and used it to show him who was the real weak one >:

[Chojin]

Oh shit man, a guard cut my fucking arm off :<

[Guitar Woman]

This game is kingly!

I played as a girl and ran around getting men pregnant by beating them up. Then I provoked a riot by wailing on the roman legions, and everyone just started brawling randomly.

Then some guy threw a banana at me and I died :lol

[Chojin]

Did you know that you can hug people if you run into them?

*hug roman soldier fondly*

Roman soldier then cold-cocks me in the face and tells me i'm going to jail for assault, while my character stumbles around in the background, falling over twice.

And then I'm condemned to be crucified, in a horrifying spectacle where I'm nailed to a cross while my health bleeds out.

Below, Roman soldiers are beating people with bags of money.

[Chojin]

fuck, this game is like impossible even when you try to play it right

so jesus and i go to wreck this temple and jesus is like 'hay james, lol, if you meditate on the last chakra, you can totally become invincible'

So i'm like 'awesome jesus let's do this brother' and i turn on invincibility, and run over to a roman. I kill one of them with a mighty swing of my sword and then immediately his friend turns around and cuts my fucking eyes out.

I then go on trial, my one good eye pleading with the crowd, and am found not guilty, only to go insane from lack of water and begin involuntarily beating the judge, who then stomps a mudhole in me until i die.

and you can't continue, so, that's that.

*also jesus is the guy in red on the bridge, not the guy in purple. they look almost exactly the same and the one in purple claims to be the lord, idk why the author thought that'd be a great idea. When you beat up on jesus he just basically complains a lot and then cures your evil soul, and you're treated to his face being hilariously bloodied in all his cutscenes

[executioneer]

SmHhgtZy8mE

god this made me laugh. i might have to actually play this :(

"GET OUT OF HERE DUDE YOU ARE WANTED FOR MURDER IN THIS TOWN"

"*KA-BLAM*, there's what i think of that idea fuckface"

[executioneer]

oh god i could barely get past the character creation. ITS JUST TOO MUCH.

anyways without further ado: part the first of the gospel of 11-foot-tall Rodney Dangerfield

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/11footrodney.jpg
I TELL YA I'M HAVIN' A BAD WEEK, MY PSYCHIATRIST TOLD ME I'M GOIN' CRAZY! SO I ASKED FOR A SECOND OPINION, HE SAID "ALL RIGHT YOU'RE UGLY, TOO"

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/11footrodney2.jpg
WHOOPS, THE ROMANS ARE COMING. SHOW'S OVER PEOPLE. YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/norespect.jpg
no respect, i tell ya

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/gooduseforpipe.jpg
oh i bet you will, sweetheart ;)

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[executioneer]

hilarious note: your character can be anywhere from one to eleven feet, and the pitch of your combat noises are based directly on how tall you are, so when you play an eleven foot tall it sounds like fezzig from princess bride is getting whaled on by the romans :lol

[bigtimecow]

so i google this game and one of the results i find is this

http://www.gamedamage.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=4319

you whore

edit: lol and i just found this quote from someone on GW "the guitar woman effect; the more bullshit you write, the less credible you become "

i'm sorry GW you're an alright guy/girl

[executioneer]

oh man the cheats make this game almost passable

[Chojin]

there are cheats?

[executioneer]

yeah REALLY EASY ones alt f1 restores all your health, alt f2 and alt f3 are your mental health and spirit holding uhh m and r at the same time unlocks all the miracles (good only as far as i can tell) plus you can open a save editor if you control y at the main screen or press S to skip to a certain part of the story while you're hovering over a save game slot

[executioneer]

oh and f12 does screen caps although it jerks stuff around so fraps might still be a better idea

[Dimnos]

"the gospel of 11-foot-tall Rodney Dangerfield"

Epic. Truly epic. :lol

[Guitar Woman]

I think Asila is the only reason I even post on that shitstain

[executioneer]

the question is why does SHE post there

[Shyandquietguy]

Man, this sucks. I'm not too creative with this. All I could do was name a randomly generated character Shatner because it's starting name was appropriately William. However, my guy hugged a roman, got punched, and didn't have the mental state to hold himself back and literally went grind house on the poor guy.

[executioneer]

you gotta drink water to keep from goin crazy!

[kahljorn]

Haven't you ever played real life? It's almost exactly the same!



NURSES OR MAIDS?

PERSONALLY IM THE SILENT HILL TYPE.
STRICTLY CAT GIRLS

[Guitar Woman]

Kahl just feels like I'm cheating on him.

Frankly, I'm FLATTERED that you stuck around to read all my drunk-posts on other websites!

[kahljorn]

i read one and it was stupid, and it was also the first time.