What is an acceptable number of times to masturbate in one day?

[Poison Doom]

Seriously, what do people consider "normal". Once, twice, three times? I'm curious.

[Tadao]

Depends on if you have a job or not.

[Colonel Flagg]

It also depends if you're male or female.

[Poison Doom]

Ok, so what's the average for each?
Without a job?

[Fathom Zero]

Three times a day.

After each meal.

[Colonel Flagg]

Seems a bit low, if you're jobless.

[Esuohlim]

UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF CUM

Are you sure you didn't mean to post this in Ask Willie?

[executioneer]

ENOUGH TO COVER THE MOON WITH :achimp

[kahljorn]

ANYTHING OVER A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK MAKES YOU A PERVERT/desperate AND EVERYBODY KNOWS IT BECAUSE THEY FEEL GUILTY AFTER MASTURBATING TOO MUCH.

[Jeanette X]

It depends on how preoccupied you are, how well you feel, how much time you have on your hands, how much sleep you've gotten...

I read that if man ejaculates more than 5 times a week it lowers his risk of prostate cancer, so I suppose its healthy for a man to do it at least that much.

[kahljorn]

YEA NBUT ITS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO BLOW ALL YOUR OJAS AND DRASTICALLY SHORTENS THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE/LIFESPAN.

[elx]

gross, zero times:(

edit: and while we're on the subject you males need to WASH YOUR HANDS. you touch your stuff while you're in the restroom and then you touch other stuff like doorknobs and then i touch the doorknobs and i get your boy germs. disgusting!

[Colonel Flagg]

while we're on the subject you males need to WASH YOUR HANDS. you touch your stuff while you're in the restroom and then you touch other stuff like doorknobs and then i touch the doorknobs and i get your boy germs. disgusting!

I have a co-worker well-known for this type of behavior. I have some of that liquid hand-sanitizer to ward him off. Yes, I know it's a placebo, but it makes me feel better, so I'm OK with it. :domo

Edit: And BTW you're the one reading the "gross" thread. ;)

[The Leader]

I see someone is sexually repressed.

[kahljorn]

ITS ONLY AN ACT.

What's so wrong with penis germs? Do they differ substantially from the rest of my germs?

[Poison Doom]

Penis germs make babies

[DevilWearsPrada]

penis babies D:

[executioneer]

YOUR a penis baby

[kahljorn]

Penis germs make babies

Whoa ho ho. It takes a man AND a woman to make a baby. I don't know what kind of sick homosexual family you were raised by but penis germs alone do not make babies.
Plus its not even the germs its the semen :rolleyes

[Tadao]

Pregnancy is a disease. :x

[kahljorn]

how dark and twisted your perspective of life is :rolleyes

[Tadao]

A fetus is a parasite :(

[kahljorn]

A tadao is a goth :(

[kahljorn]

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY TADAO

[Tadao]

:lol

[bigtimecow]

i feel immediately guilty the moment after i cum

:(

[Dimnos]

Pregnancy is a disease. :x

A fetus is a parasite :(


True on both accounts. Anyone who says otherwise is...

A) Lying
B) A damn fool
C) Sells baby products.

[Colonel Flagg]

What's worse is that they grow into little money-pits.

[Tadao]

So the answer is it is acceptable to masturbate as much as you can so that your sperm count is at it's lowest.

[Dimnos]

So the answer is it is acceptable to masturbate as much as you can so that your sperm count is at it's lowest.

Yes. :posh

[El Renardo]

What's worse is that they grow into little money-pits.

Then, to account for inflation they metamorphisize into being bottomless money pits.

[kert]

"Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate."

[Dimnos]

No.

[Colonel Flagg]

"Life of Brian" was better.

[Dimnos]

The Colonel is correct!

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e335/wonkabr/vii-fing.jpg

Death was the only good part on that one.

[DevilWearsPrada]

why would you feel guilty when you masturbate, you must think about some fucked up shit when you do it, i mean jesus christ

[Womti]

I'd say at least once is okay, so is about 2 or maybe 3 times.

[kahljorn]

why would you feel guilty when you masturbate, you must think about some fucked up shit when you do it, i mean jesus christ

its cause they start thinking about jesus once the cookie crumbles if you get my drift

[Dimnos]

About Jesus watching their dirty act or something?

[kahljorn]

That, and about failing Jesus/the cultural value system.

[Dimnos]

That is a private moment. What a perv. >:


Nevermind. That was a bad joke. Sorry.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

i feel immediately guilty the moment after i cum

:(

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist_sexual_practices#Male_control_of_ejaculatio n

I've been doing this for a few years.

[Dimnos]

I dont think I even want to click that.

[kahljorn]

lol ojas :(

supposedly if you do that too much it can create clogs so be carefuls :O

its where you orgasm but keep yourself from cuming, based on the idea that your semen is like your life energy or something. It's basically a way to trick jesus :rolleyes

he probably does it to prevent pregnancy but unbeknownst it to him when you suck up your semen with your penis like a straw and its inside a vagina there's a chance that you'll suck up an egg and your penis will become impregnated.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Oh noes.

I'm usually just bored and I'm addicted. My record is 39 days while doing that. Then my ex ruined my streak. At the end she was laying down on her back and somehow it went THROUGH her and ended up on her back.

[kahljorn]

so what you're saying is that your semen phased through her body and ended up on "her" back? i guess its true what they say about ojas :O

[Sam]

or he just blew a hole clean through her. :eek

[Dimnos]

:hypno Phantom Sperms! :hypno

[kahljorn]

omg

i always thought 10k looked like some kind of murderous, penis wielding maniac :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol.....:(

[Supafly345]

lol ojas :(

supposedly if you do that too much it can create clogs so be carefuls :O

When I was on uppers I used to masturbate almost an entire day at times, and clogging would happen from time to time. The worst part is when your urethra is irritated from masturbating, so you feel like you have to pee even worse than your full bladder is telling you, and NOTHING WILL COME OUT.

[Dimnos]

Wow. Most people on uppers tha I have known Never much wanted sex or to spank it. Guys anyway. Women a dif story.

[Jeanette X]

When I was on uppers I used to masturbate almost an entire day at times, and clogging would happen from time to time. The worst part is when your urethra is irritated from masturbating, so you feel like you have to pee even worse than your full bladder is telling you, and NOTHING WILL COME OUT.

The human urethra can CLOG?! :faint

Jesus, why did that happen?! Was it the uppers or some kind of medical condition?!

[stevetothepast]

Did you guys ever read "Guts"?

http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

It's pretty gross.

[Fathom Zero]

He's said that every time he's asked to do a book reading, at least one person faints during that story. I just laughed and laughed. 'Cause it's pretty hilarious.

[Shrubfest]

I've just read that book. I read guts at the teatable whilst eating pork chops.