There you go ignoring facts again!

[Jonathan Clement]

Seriously...:rolleyes

[Dixie]

Do stop and chat awhile, scones will be out shortly.

[Jonathan Clement]

My grandpa calls them "Scuns".

[Dixie]

Is that one lump or two today sir?

[Jonathan Clement]

Is that one lump or two today sir?

I presume you mean sugar, but could you define "Lumps" just to be clear?

[Dixie]

Surely you have enough lumps of your own on that ample gelatinous Canadian wuss-gut of yours to know what a "lump" may be.

[Jonathan Clement]

Surely you have enough lumps of your own on that ample gelatinous Canadian wuss-gut of yours to know what a "lump" may be.

Well, it could be "shit" or "lumps" on my head. I don't know if you're just tricking me or whatever!

See? Ignoring facts again! >:

[Dixie]

I don't say this to many people, but have you looked into starting up a crack addiction?

[Jonathan Clement]

No. Why?

[Dixie]

I'm trying to figure out what that brown shit on your face is.

[Jonathan Clement]

What brown shit? On what part of my face? You need to be more specific, here.

[Dixie]

Sorry, that IS your face.
Ooooooh!

[Jonathan Clement]

Sorry, that IS your face.
Ooooooh!

No, you must be looking at another picture.

[Dixie]

I've seen your videos many times.
I only aspire to become so braindead one day.
Crom willing, an LSD coma.

[Jonathan Clement]

I've seen your videos many times.
I only aspire to become so braindead one day.
Crom willing, an LSD coma.

My face doesn't look like shit, so you must be watching somebody else.

[Dixie]

There is no mistakin' that canadian bacon.

[Jonathan Clement]

There is no mistakin' that canadian bacon.

Could you show me specifically what you're talking about?

[Dixie]

I think we all know what I'm talking about. You sick bastard.

[Jonathan Clement]

I think we all know what I'm talking about. You sick bastard.

Actually, no, we don't. Please elaborate.

[Dixie]

Your wildly popular "Buzz Lightrear" Solo Porno?
http://i464.photobucket.com/albums/rr3/carnivoroustwitch/clement/buzz.jpg
Yeah, we ALL know about that one.

[Jonathan Clement]

Aside from the fact that that picture is obviously doctored, I still fail to see this "Brown shit" you speak of.

[Dixie]

That's later in the vid...

[Jonathan Clement]

That's later in the vid...

Which video?

[Dixie]

Your solo porno.
That's just the box cover.

[Jonathan Clement]

Can you provide evidence that such a video exists?

[Dixie]

That's the box cover, dude.
When everyone else wakes up they'll tell you all about it too.
Everyone here has seen it, well those of us that like tentacle rapes.

[Jonathan Clement]

Do you actually have a PICTURE of someone HOLDING the box? And do you have footage from this porno? Because that would be bitchin' if you did.

[Dixie]

These things can happen, except i dunno how to make my computer play vhs

[Jonathan Clement]

Transfer it to a DVD and then rip it.

[Dixie]

dude, i JUST bought a cell phone a few weeks ago. i don't even own a webcam. TECHNOLOGY IS NOT MY STRONG POINT

[kahljorn]

this bitch is from the south or something she's totally ignorant.

I'll take a picture of me holding the box art when i can get some batteries for my camera :O

[Chojin]

i saw a thread by johnathan clement and i was giddy like a child on christmas day

and then I read it :<

[Dixie]

This is why we need you chojin <3

[Jonathan Clement]

i saw a thread by johnathan clement and i was giddy like a child on christmas day

and then I read it :<

Aw, why so down in the dumps Mr. Cool Rainbow head man?:(

[Chojin]

This is why we need you chojin <3

WHO ARE YOU IDENTIFY YOURSELF

Aw, why so down in the dumps Mr. Cool Rainbow head man?:(

oh god lol :<

i have a new title

[Chojin]

it sounds vaguely jamaican

[Zhukov]

Dixie is Kahl's partner, J.C is being run by Kahl in this thread.

That's my guess. I could be wrong.

[Jonathan Clement]

oh god lol :<

i have a new title

I seriously LOL'd. Thanks! I'm glad you like it! XD

Where IS your avatar from, anyway?

[Zhukov]

Jonathan Clemet is GADZOOKS?

[Jonathan Clement]

Jonathan Clemet is GADZOOKS?

I assure you, I am a 100% authentic person. There is nobody pulling my strings. What you see before you is, indeed, a real person.

[elx]

hi jonathan clement, i didn't know you were a real person but i hear we have a lot in common.

[Jonathan Clement]

hi jonathan clement, i didn't know you were a real person but i hear we have a lot in common.

O RLY? Like what?

[elx]

i dunno..are you also a sixteen year old girl? that could explain the comparison

[Chojin]

I seriously LOL'd. Thanks! I'm glad you like it! XD

Where IS your avatar from, anyway?

super mario sunshine

[Jonathan Clement]

i dunno..are you also a sixteen year old girl? that could explain the comparison

No.

super mario sunshine

Want to try again?

[elx]

are you sure? that doesn't make sense then, i am certainly no frenchie.

[Shrubfest]

Aw, who compared elx to JC?

Harsh. Poor elx.

[Jonathan Clement]

Your name is short for exlax cause when people shit you, it causes them to get fucked up and shit over everything.

[Kitsa]

Threads like these make me sad.

[Colonel Flagg]

Threads like these make me sad.

:tear

[Jonathan Clement]

Threads like these make me sad.

Aw, why? :(

[Colonel Flagg]

You really have to ask?

[Dimnos]

She dislikes masochists.

[The Leader]

Your name is short for exlax cause when people shit you, it causes them to get fucked up and shit over everything.
Wait, so you're saying that's why elx was compared to you? Because you do such things?

[LordSappington]

I don't think he's even trying anymore. :(

[Jonathan Clement]

Wait, so you're saying that's why elx was compared to you? Because you do such things?

INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEAH! MmmmMMmmmOOOOooOOOoo... :orgasm*Creepy accordion music*


I don't think he's even trying anymore. :(

Oh, you THINK?

[The Leader]

You always make it a special day for me. You know how, don't you? By just your being you. Whether you're in kindergarten or third grade or no grade at all or ANY grade at all, I like you just the way you are. I'll be back tomorrow. Bye.

[Esuohlim]

Oh hi there clement are you back again for yet another dose of internet attention?

If anyone is bored and wants to kill an hour or so here's the definitive list of Jonathan Clement threads (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/search.php?searchid=235948) to peruse if you can handle the awkwardness.

[Evil Robot]

EVIL ROBOT

[Jonathan Clement]

Do you like green eggs and ham?:orgasm

[LordSappington]

I'm disappointed in you, John. You went from hilarious cannonfodder, to just an incoherent, blubbery lump of a human. For shame.

[Esuohlim]

I had an aquaintance from high school who acted more or less like you, Clement.

He was, of course, a homosexual

[LordSappington]

ZING!

[Esuohlim]

A homosexual furry

[Jonathan Clement]

I'm disappointed in you, John. You went from hilarious cannonfodder, to just an incoherent, blubbery lump of a human. For shame.

Oh, I'm still funny! See, I'm like one of those magic pictures that if you stare at it long enough, you see something!

[Dimnos]

Oh, I'm still funny! See, I'm like one of those magic pictures that if you stare at it long enough, you see something!

Before... Maybe... Now... No... :\

I have to agree with GW. This new thread is so lame I doubt it is even worth making this post to point it out.

[Womti]

There you go ignoring facts again!



good for you, sam :\

[Jonathan Clement]

good for you, sam :\

I do not like that Sam I am! >:

[DevilWearsPrada]

shut up, get out

[Jonathan Clement]

shut up, get out

NO U

[Misdemonar]

HEY EVERBODY




PARTY TIME

MISDEMONARS HERE TYEAH

[Misdemonar]

http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/4180/kidsbirthdayparty.png

[Esuohlim]

http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/8603/magybu.jpg

[Jonathan Clement]

http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/8603/magybu.jpg

I don't get it.

[Esuohlim]

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/6920/magshm.jpg

[DevilWearsPrada]

shut up, get out

__________________

[Jonathan Clement]

__________________

You're a dickhole.

[DevilWearsPrada]

hahaha you can't quote a quote, jackass

[DevilWearsPrada]

shut up, get out
You're a dickhole.

fixed

[Jonathan Clement]

At least everyone else TRIES to troll.

[captain516]

Nobody tries when it comes to trolling you. You do all the work yourself.

[Misdemonar]

GET DRUNK YEAH

[Zhukov]

Let me guess, Jonathan Clements has spent a week on 4chan, and now comes here versed in the ways of the internet. Fucking great.

[RaNkeri]

Let me guess, Jonathan Clements has spent a week on 4chan, and now comes here versed in the ways of the internet. Fucking great.

Don't provoke him, he and his friends might invade and troll us! :chatter

[Shrubfest]

Just out of curiosity, what does he mean by dickhole? Does he mean the urethral opening, or is he just mixing insults badly?

[RaNkeri]

Maybe he means that hole you can find from underwear

[Tadao]

Or his Fleshlight.

[Colonel Flagg]

A JC thread is always a good source of entertainment. :lol

[LordSappington]

I'd have to be high as hell to find this entertaining.
I wish these forums had a sage option, because this isn't quite worth it getting bumped up.

[captain516]

just don't post at all then.

[ZeldaQueen]

This is like some warped Abbot and Costello routine.

[Tadao]

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!?!

[Zhukov]

I assumed that dickhole was a hole in the side of a penis. Like a wound or something. On the shaft.

[ZeldaQueen]

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!?!
No, it's ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

If you're going to mock me, at least do it accurately.

[Tadao]

You deserve the same amount of care I give to Clement.

[Colonel Flagg]

You deserve the same amount of care I give to Clement.

You care about Clement? :eek

[Tadao]

ZING!

[ZeldaQueen]

Aw. :(

[Jonathan Clement]

Just out of curiosity, what does he mean by dickhole? Does he mean the urethral opening, or is he just mixing insults badly?

Yes, my good chum, shrubfest, I literally mean that you are urethrae.

THE CODE! THE CODE! FIGURE OUT THE CODE!

[Kitsa]

Someone didn't take Anatomy & Physiology.

The opening you're referring to is called the "external urethral orifice" or the "urinary meatus" (that's "me-ate-us", not "meat-us").

[Tadao]

Don't say meat, too late, fatty went off to eat it looks like.

[Shrubfest]

Oh dear, he used my name. Personal contact. Eek.

[captain516]

YOU'LL BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!

[Jonathan Clement]

Someone didn't take Anatomy & Physiology.

The opening you're referring to is called the "external urethral orifice" or the "urinary meatus" (that's "me-ate-us", not "meat-us").

Mmmm... Yeeesss... Delicious meatus! :orgasm

[Dixie]

Shut your weenis hole.

[Dimnos]

There it is ladies and gentlemen. He said it himself. He loves the cock in his mouth.

[Colonel Flagg]

:lol

[Jonathan Clement]

There it is ladies and gentlemen. He said it himself. He loves the cock in his mouth.

MMmmMMmmOOOOOoooooooMmmMMmmMMmm!:orgasm

[Colonel Flagg]

MMmmMMmmOOOOOoooooooMmmMMmmMMmmYyyyyyYYyyyyyyYYY! :orgasm

:eek

[Zhukov]

So it's like primary school, when the bullies used to tease this kid and call him a loser, fat, dickhead etc, and one day he just said "Yep, I'm a dick head" or "Yeah, I am a loser, so what?". It meant the bullies got less fun out of teasing him, so they stopped, but that didn't mean that they suddenly had some respect for him, or that the the teased kid suddenly became part of the 'cool' group.

So Jonathan Clement can shrug off any insults people throw at him with zany comebacks that don't make sense, or "yeah, I suck dicks! Woah!" and eventually people stop getting any fun out of punching the punching bag... but it doesn't mean anyone likes him.

And if he didn't want to get insulted, why come here in the first place? Why keep posting on a board where nobody likes you, and the only worth you had was the enjoyment you gave people who poked fun at you?

[Kitsa]

I'd like to point out that all I did was make an academic clarification. Unless you consider not having Anatomy & Physiology an insult. Back in the day I wouldn't have...I thought everyone else must be the luckiest schmucks on the planet.

[Colonel Flagg]

I'm still scratching my head at the title of this thread - what facts are we ignoring, exactly? Am I clueless, or just too new - i.e. you need to be a "vet" to know what's what.

Or am I just trying to make sense of nonsense. :)

[Dimnos]

So it's like primary school, when the bullies used to tease this kid and call him a loser, fat, dickhead etc, and one day he just said "Yep, I'm a dick head" or "Yeah, I am a loser, so what?". It meant the bullies got less fun out of teasing him, so they stopped, but that didn't mean that they suddenly had some respect for him, or that the the teased kid suddenly became part of the 'cool' group.

When I was in school this was that special moment you would go from being verbally insulted to physically assaulted.

[Dimnos]

Oh and Colonel, the fact is that this is a Clement thread. That we even post in it at all is how we ignore that fact.

[Colonel Flagg]

Ah, now that makes sense. Finally. Thanks, DN!

[Esuohlim]

And only by locking his threads will he go into hiding again for another few months.