We need to talk. Sort things out.

[Tadao]

I'm a different person now than I was about a year ago. Might have been a bit paranoid to think that you were trying to hurt me, even at times you actually really did hurt me, and badly.

I'm on better meds now, and I get less of the ol' voices in my head. That doesn't mean you can make fun of me all the time though. Doesn't mean I have any right to diss you either.

It's one of those things that really bugs me, it's bugged me over the past year, and I want to make amends properly so I'm not hated anymore, and so I don't have to hate or fear you anymore.

I'm dedicating my book I'm working on, which is about internet trolls (which is completely unrelated to our situation, it's more a universal statement of the futility of flame wars than a revenge book, unless you are a redneck who lives in Missouri I can't really say the person who flames the protagonist is anything like you, and I can't say I'm a half-German half-Japanese Australian born dude with war criminals on both sides of his family either). Think of it as a sort of penance for what I did, but keep in mind I didn't like myself when I was all manic and that.

I still don't know why this all had to happen, and maybe neither of us will ever understand why. I don't want so much an apology as forgiveness. So that this shit never goes down again.

When you say you are dedicating your book, did you mean to say you are dedicating it to me? :eek

Good to see you're doing better Jake. Now don't take it all personnel, but I will always tease you and make fun of you. How you handle it will be a factor in how people here welcome you. You are not the most hated her by far. There are some people I won't even tease because they suck so much.

I know why this happened, you probably won't until you become old and bitter and fat and lonely. You're half way there!

ZING!

:love
Tadao

[Tadao]

I wish I could go to Comic-Con. In case you guys don't know me, you probably already do, and if you do, I'm so sorry for anything I did to upset you. I live in Australia so we have Supernova instead of Comic-Con, and I haven't been to a Supernova or even SMASH anime fair in years because those things are always on when I've had to study.

Protoclown and you guys are always awesome, but sometimes I'm bewildered when I'm unfamiliar with 1980s franchises like Masters of the Universe and G.I. Joe. Not that those things aren't bad, I just feel... unfamiliar with them, since I never even saw G.I. Joe to this very day. In Australia it's different to America because we're so isolated from the rest of the world here, and we don't get access to limited edition toys and collectables as easy. Call it tyranny of distance if you will.

I don't want what I've done in the past cast a bad light on the person I am now, and even if I was treated badly on the forums here I want to make things right and keep enjoying I-Mockery for what it is, a fun site most of the time. It's just that back in the day, for me, it wasn't so fun.

Maybe I'm just depressed because a lot of things have gone badly for me this year, but a lot of good things have happened too. I hope to see another good I-Mockery Comic Con coverage next year from you guys...

Jake, those people in what I call the front forums probably have no idea what you are talking about. Most of them never make it into this side of the forums. So your post in the "I-Mockery's Big 2009 San Diego Comic-Con Photo Album!"is just confusing a weird. You should edit it so that people over there don't think you are a mumbling wimpy freak. Plus RoG hates drama over there.

[JakeOfAllTrades]

At least you understand. It's like a big relief to get this big weight off me. When I say I'm dedicating my book to you, I mean it. If none of this ever went down I never would have come up with the idea of a book about a (completely unrelated) flame war resulting in dire consequences/messed up ghost story in the first place. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but I have sent part of it to a publisher, and they liked it, but they say it needs crafting. That's fair enough, at this age I'm still very young and very, very stupid.

The book is called Trollslayer, and it's about a half-German, half-Japanese Australian born named Ichi Tanizaki who has two war criminals for great grandfathers. As a result there's a curse that kills off internet trolls, but you'll have to read it to find out. Many of the references in the book aren't just towards Japanese culture, but towards Australian culture. So I'm going to put endnotes in to explain the Aussie references.

[captain516]

I was just about to make this thread.

[Tadao]

That's cheesy Jake, but at least it's got some originality to it. Glad to see you're not focused on one culture. The world is bigger than Japan.

[darkvare]

so is a book about the internets being a serious bussines

[JakeOfAllTrades]

That's cheesy Jake, but at least it's got some originality to it. Glad to see you're not focused on one culture. The world is bigger than Japan.

You are so very right. In one part of the book the protagonist's German father teaches him some German swear words to shout angrily at people, just to mess with people's heads (he looks full Japanese so people assume the main character is just some Asian dude, so he comes to his German father for advice, and he gets what he asks for. That and there's nothing funnier than hipsters being put in their culturally close-minded place).

[JakeOfAllTrades]

The book also critiques how Australians are seen online due to some very stupid political policies which prevent Australians from getting true broadband internet, as well as a proposed Internet filtering system which will be mandatory for all ISPs here if passed. From experience, sometimes Americans kick Australians from online game servers for causing lag in the game, due to the Australians not having good internet connections.

And yes, because it is more than just about Japan, a lot of world cultures get skewered in it. Particularly how Americans and Australians see each other online. Because both of us can call each other yanks and drongos for hours without realising both nations are trolling each other.

[MetalMilitia]

What the fuck?

How can someone to be completely detached from reality to think:

1. They need to come to a forum and apologise for... something that supposedly happened a year ago involving a ghost.

2. They need to write a book about internet trolls (fun-fact: no one wants to read a book about internet trolls).

3. Japanese war criminals killing internet trolls by way of a curse??????

Jake get the fuck off the internet for the sake of us all. I'm not saying that to be mean - I'm trying to give you real advice on how to improve your life.

Just get rid of your computer and go outside. Join a club or something. Do some voluntary work - just get the fuck off the internet and talk to some real people before it's too late.

[JakeOfAllTrades]

What the fuck?

How can someone to be completely detached from reality to think:

1. They need to come to a forum and apologise for... something that supposedly happened a year ago involving a ghost.

2. They need to write a book about internet trolls (fun-fact: no one wants to read a book about internet trolls).

3. Japanese war criminals killing internet trolls by way of a curse??????

Jake get the fuck off the internet for the sake of us all. I'm not saying that to be mean - I'm trying to give you real advice on how to improve your life.

Just get rid of your computer and go outside. Join a club or something. Do some voluntary work - just get the fuck off the internet and talk to some real people before it's too late.

Stop muddling my words man, but I won't bother defending myself to you since you clearly won't listen. I try to make amends to you guys, and I should have expected some people wouldn't have been as welcoming as I had hoped. Well, the best I can hope for is, at the moment, graduating and going to University. There's sure to be some real people there.

[darkvare]

metal don't be grumpy and let the man write his book

[Tadao]

Yeah MM, stop being a cunt.

[MetalMilitia]

I'm not trying to have a go at you Jake, but this is beyond ridiculous.

No one hates you, they just think you're fucking weird for coming here and telling us how you were in a relationship with an imaginary girl you met in a book shop. As such you can't make amends to anyone you can just appear to be slightly more or less of a twat depending on what you post next.

Ultimately you're always going to be remembered as Jake 1.0 - the neurotic level 10 word-smith that posted some hilariously misguided topics on life, love and relationships.

I'm not saying you need to be Jake 1.0 forever, you can go off and have a real life where this stuff doesn't mean anything but coming back here isn't going to make you fell any better about yourself or improve your life in an way.

[RaNkeri]

half-German half-Japanese Australian born dude with war criminals on both sides of his family

the protagonist's German father teaches him some German swear words to shout angrily at people, just to mess with people's heads

I can see where this is going. Pure gold.

[Dixie]

Sooooooooooo, when's the wedding?

[Dixie]

:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass
:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass
:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass
:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass:hourglass

[ZeldaQueen]

The book is called Trollslayer, and it's about a half-German, half-Japanese Australian born named Ichi Tanizaki who has two war criminals for great grandfathers. As a result there's a curse that kills off internet trolls, but you'll have to read it to find out. Many of the references in the book aren't just towards Japanese culture, but towards Australian culture. So I'm going to put endnotes in to explain the Aussie references.

Sounds like there should be some fantasy RPG in there also.

Best of luck on your book though! Be sure to tell us if you get it published.

1. They need to come to a forum and apologise for... something that supposedly happened a year ago involving a ghost.

Wait, what happened in this flame war?

[Misdemonar]

GUYS IM SORRY THAT YOU HATE ME

[Tadao]

OH MAN JAKE! ZQ is the perfect match for you! :x

[Kitsa]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/loveconnection.jpg

:lol

Actually, I don't know that I'd do that to ZQ. But I see a possible friendship :)

[Colonel Flagg]

Wait, what happened in this flame war?

ZQ, just do a search on JakeOfAllTrades about 12-18 months ago, and be prepared with a hefty bottle of Scotch or Irish Whiskey.

Yes, it's that good. :x

[Zhukov]

Hey Jake, can I dedicate my book to you? It's called 'Listen to Metal Militia'.

[ZeldaQueen]

Sounds good! :lol

Oh and hey Jake! If you want really good internet arguments, I can direct you to some of the more ridiculous ones I've seen on the Museum of Hoaxes board. Those mainly start out with people claiming Lifewave Patches work or that Illuminati plots are underway and end with the OPs cussing out the regular board members for using logic.

[Zhukov]

Hey Jake, I'll be in Sydney in 4 weeks, which bookshop was it? I would like to visit it.

If there are any other good shops etc that are worth visiting, let me know. Not really into anime but most other nerd-like things are good. Cheers.

[ZeldaQueen]

I think I found it. Was this about the Japanese girl in the bookstore?

[Mockery]

Jake, those people in what I call the front forums probably have no idea what you are talking about. Most of them never make it into this side of the forums. So your post in the "I-Mockery's Big 2009 San Diego Comic-Con Photo Album!"is just confusing a weird. You should edit it so that people over there don't think you are a mumbling wimpy freak. Plus RoG hates drama over there.
Correction - I hate drama in both forum areas. I just enforce it more in the article and blog threads, because myself and the other writers spend a lot of time on our pieces and don't want the discussion about them getting cluttered up by people arguing with and insulting each other.

I still don't like it on these forums either though. It's a comedy web site and when so many people have emailed me with complaints about how the forums aren't receptive to new users, it's not exactly a good thing. The old "Newbie Beatdown" used to be far more lighthearted, creative and fun for all. These days, it seems to be more abrasive with the intent to make everybody hate certain newcomers. I usually tell people who've had to put up with that shit to stick to the article and blog discussions since people don't act like dicks in those areas.

Of course, I'm only talking about certain areas / people on the forum. There are plenty of discussions on here that are perfectly fine and open for anybody to join in and have fun with.

[DevilWearsPrada]

http://i526.photobucket.com/albums/cc350/Fogellthorpe/joatkh-1.gif

[darkvare]

you see tadao even rog thinks you are way too agressive that's why i try to be friendly to most newcomers

[Tadao]

Yes Darkvare, I think everyone who can read got that. You can now wipe the shit off your nose.

[Mockery]

I wouldn't single out Tadao, because he's far from the only one who has been overly aggressive with new forum members in recent times. I just wish I had more free time on my hands to curb some of the bullshit that takes place on the forums here, but my time is better spent on writing new articles 'n what not for the site.

[darkvare]

i happen to like shit on my nose thank you very much

[Tadao]

:lol @ Darkvare

I have been tons nicer since my warning a few months ago. I even don't join in on the hazings anymore. :(

[Aimless]

I would have left and never came back if it wasn't for the few people that I had great conversations with through IM and RoG being kind enough to answer my PM's. I get what the board atmosphere is like here now but as a stranger I found it to be very hostile.


That being said... I HATE YOU ALL. <3

[The Leader]

Is it bad that I act the same way on this board as I do in real life? :(

[Aimless]

At least you're giving an honest representation of yourself?

[The Leader]

:(

[The Leader]

Now that I am thinking about it, did you get the pm I sent you Aimless?

[Aimless]

I just noticed it when you said that, it kinda gets cammoflaged with the other text. I'm used to pop up pm's.

[The Leader]

When I get pm's on here, there's a pop-up. Maybe you have to change your settings.

[Tadao]

or have a popup blocker

[elx]

I would have left and never came back if it wasn't for the few people that I had great conversations with through IM and RoG being kind enough to answer my PM's. I get what the board atmosphere is like here now but as a stranger I found it to be very hostile.


That being said... I HATE YOU ALL. <3
no aimless, you're just stupid. you can blame it on the 'prescription drugs' or whatever, but seriously.

the ONLY person mean to you was myself, and if you're so overly sensitive about a sixteen year old calling you out then you shouldn't be here, period. the members you contacted off of the board were only nice to you because of your breasts, which isn't a compliment. i'm not being mean now, just honest.

i'll explain more in the next post.

[RaNkeri]

meow-ch

[The Leader]

DAMN

[ZeldaQueen]

People seemed pretty nice when I first showed up, but then I can be terrible at telling sarcasm and the like over the computer.

[Aimless]

no aimless, you're just stupid. you can blame it on the 'prescription drugs' or whatever, but seriously.

the ONLY person mean to you was myself, and if you're so overly sensitive about a sixteen year old calling you out then you shouldn't be here, period. the members you contacted off of the board were only nice to you because of your breasts, which isn't a compliment. i'm not being mean now, just honest.

i'll explain more in the next post.


You must have a lot of time on your hands to scower the board looking for anyone else that has been mean to me. I sent that PM to RoG before you had said anything to me. You didn't offend me in the least, I just felt sorry for you.

As far as guys only talking to me for my breasts, I'm used to that.. but they still continue to talk to me so there must be something to that.

As for the prescription drugs, obviously I have other things going on besides those to warrant a doctor actually prescribing me narcotics, so think before you try and slam me for using them.

[The Leader]

WHAT YOU GOT NOW ELX?

[Aimless]

she's going to draw a picture about how stupid i am.

[The Leader]

I like her pictures. :>

[elx]

nothing for her, i don't see a purpose in making her feel anymore worse about herself than she probably already does.

I DO HAVE A POINT THOUGH, i am working on it.

edit: and it's not a picture :(

[Aimless]

I'm listening... take your time.

[The Leader]

BATTLE OF THE NEW USERS, WHO WILL SURVIVE?

[RaNkeri]

ROUND 2! DING DING DING!

[Aimless]

I could K.O. her with one breast, it hardly seems like a challenge.

[elx]

I still don't like it on these forums either though. It's a comedy web site and when so many people have emailed me with complaints about how the forums aren't receptive to new users, it's not exactly a good thing. The old "Newbie Beatdown" used to be far more lighthearted, creative and fun for all. These days, it seems to be more abrasive with the intent to make everybody hate certain newcomers. I usually tell people who've had to put up with that shit to stick to the article and blog discussions since people don't act like dicks in those areas.
'biting the newcomer' isn't just an internet thing, it's perfectly acceptable and widely practiced because it's notorious for its effectiveness. you should stand by it, not encourage noobs to stick around and punish the members.

to put it into perspective, let's say for example, you're meeting the in-laws for the first time, would you expect them to just welcome you into their family graciously? no, of course not. you'd expect them to interrogate you, treat you like garbage, and feel you out a bit. similarly, the i-mockery forum is kind of like this, but in the sense that it is a community and not a family.

i'd understand if it were constant inappropriate trolling, but it's not. i've been around the forum long enough to know that there's not a single regular poster here that is just a tool for the hell of it. it's teasing, never severe harassment, if anyone takes that so personally that they feel the need to leave and complain about it then they shouldn't have joined in the first place. but if they do make it past the "newbie beat-down" then they've become apart of the community, and that's that.

from a business perspective, i get it, the more people that frequent i-mockery the better, but it wouldn't be i-mockery without the quality which is what is important. you should thank the jerks here who keep that in check, not berate them.

if there's something wrong with that here then I seriously misjudged i-mockery and will gladly excuse myself.

[Tadao]

http://www.ors.act.gov.au/fairtrading/images/door.jpg

[elx]

I could K.O. her with one breast, it hardly seems like a challenge.
unlikely. with fantastic brains like yours you'd probably misjudge the distance and run yourself into a wall or something before you had a chance to do anything to me.

[Aimless]

You don't need brains when you have a nice rack.

[elx]

sucks for you then, nothing to offer. :(

[Aimless]

aww, come on. you love my boobs, you talk about them all the time <3

[Tadao]

'biting the newcomer' isn't just an internet thing, it's perfectly acceptable and widely practiced because it's notorious for its effectiveness. you should stand by it, not encourage noobs to stick around and punish the members.

to put it into perspective, let's say for example, you're meeting the in-laws for the first time, would you expect them to just welcome you into their family graciously? no, of course not. you'd expect them to interrogate you, treat you like garbage, and feel you out a bit. similarly, the i-mockery forum is kind of like this, but in the sense that it is a community and not a family.

i'd understand if it were constant inappropriate trolling, but it's not. i've been around the forum long enough to know that there's not a single regular poster here that is just a tool for the hell of it. it's teasing, never severe harassment, if anyone takes that so personally that they feel the need to leave and complain about it then they shouldn't have joined in the first place. but if they do make it past the "newbie beat-down" then they've become apart of the community, and that's that.

from a business perspective, i get it, the more people that frequent i-mockery the better, but it wouldn't be i-mockery without the quality which is what is important. you should thank the jerks here who keep that in check, not berate them.

if there's something wrong with that here then I seriously misjudged i-mockery and will gladly excuse myself.

Do you do requests? It's been awhile since I've heard the one about freedom of speech and the rights of internet users.

[captain516]

THIS SHIT'S GETTING INTENSE

[elx]

aww, come on. you love my boobs, you talk about them all the time <3

no, you incorrectly accused me of being flatchested and then i made a point out of the fact that you posted a picture of JUST your chest and there was still nothing to see! hypocrisy at it's finest.

[Aimless]

Using big words will not make your chest look any bigger.

[Otto]

boob battle

[elx]

my pictures are stilll up, you deleted yours. mine are better until proven otherwise.

[Aimless]

is this a ruse to see more of my chest?

[elx]

hardly, there was nothing to see in the first place, that's the point.

[The Leader]

POST PICS OF YOUR TITS WOOOOOO!

[Aimless]

Yeah, you're right. A D isn't what it used to be these days.

[elx]

really aimless? are you that dumb? :( we're talking about your cup-size, not your grade average.

[Aimless]

haha wow, great comeback.

[The Leader]

I WANNA SEE SOME TITS IN THIS THREAD

[MetalMilitia]

I was looking forward to a JakeOfAllTrades thread. Not this bollocks. Take it to Mock Wars :rolleyes

Jake you're weird but at least you're not a dick like the above posters.

[Aimless]

You're right, MM.. it's retarded of me to fight with a child.

[Kitsa]

That door Tadao posted looks like it has bloodsmears all over it.

[The Leader]

It looks like something from Squidbillies.

[MetalMilitia]

I take back everything I said in the first part of this thread. Come back Jake. I'll take your ramblings over listening to gay nerds argue and discuss doors any day.

[The Leader]

What's wrong with discussing doors?

[Wiffles]

Newbie beatdowns and hazing? I havent seen, nor encountered any of that. People are so nice around here. Oversensitivity maybe? O.O

[Misdemonar]

WELCOME TO THE IMOCKERY FORUMS

[Chojin]

I'm on better meds now, and I get less of the ol' voices in my head.

http://www.buddytv.com/articles/Image/WWE-Raw/Randy-Orton-profile.jpg

[Chojin]

I still don't like it on these forums either though. It's a comedy web site and when so many people have emailed me with complaints about how the forums aren't receptive to new users, it's not exactly a good thing. The old "Newbie Beatdown" used to be far more lighthearted, creative and fun for all. These days, it seems to be more abrasive with the intent to make everybody hate certain newcomers. I usually tell people who've had to put up with that shit to stick to the article and blog discussions since people don't act like dicks in those areas.

Well, the site also used to be about mocking things instead of talking about how cool the 80s was. I agree that the forums are no longer appropriate for the site's content and haven't been for some time. Then again, I don't really know who'd come to a forum that WAS appropriate for the site's content, but the internet's surprised me before.

And actually, the beatdowns used to be way worse, but they usually happened because people would sign up to the forums while pissed off. Now they sign up wanting to actually be part of the community, but our traditions are still based around the early newbies we'd get.

I think you should consider making a new site intended for trolling the internet, like you did back in the day, then move these forums over to it.
Hell, I could do the development work myself with the help of a few people from these boards.

[Kitsa]

That wasn't very kind of you, MM >:

[Misdemonar]

http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/3828/imoc.gif

WELCOME THE THE IMOCKERY FORUMS

[Colonel Flagg]

I was looking forward to a JakeOfAllTrades thread. Not this bollocks.

Yeah, me too. :(

Was this about the Japanese girl in the bookstore?

Yes, that was the most recent one. There were others. :( The stuff with Jake and Tadao started a LONG time ago, way before my time (at least from what I could find out grazing through the old threads).

For the record, my first day on the forums I was insulted by George, which I realize now is a great honor. A belated thank you, SIR! :)

[ZeldaQueen]

Yes, that was the most recent one. There were others. :( The stuff with Jake and Tadao started a LONG time ago, way before my time (at least from what I could find out grazing through the old threads).

For the record, my first day on the forums I was insulted by George, which I realize now is a great honor. A belated thank you, SIR! :)

Seriously? Great, research time!

And my first day began after Tadao went to the website I'm admin on and impersonated himself and two other members here in an attempt to troll me back here. I think that's an honor (or at least I've never had that happen before).

And actually, the beatdowns used to be way worse, but they usually happened because people would sign up to the forums while pissed off. Now they sign up wanting to actually be part of the community, but our traditions are still based around the early newbies we'd get.

Speaking of reception from angry people, whatever happened to that e-mail of the week thing there used to be? I had a good many laughs over those, especially the one from the girl who was apparently a Neo-Nazi.

[Mockery]

Well, the site also used to be about mocking things instead of talking about how cool the 80s was.
Well we still do, it's just that this site isn't really about making fun of scenes / cliques like is was back when it was on Geocities and in the late 90s. Nowadays, we cover a much wider variety of things. And the things we make fun of are cheesy movies, games, comics, toys, etc.

And actually, the beatdowns used to be way worse, but they usually happened because people would sign up to the forums while pissed off.
They were worse, but people came expecting those beatdowns because the only thing on this site was mockery of various scenes 'n social cliques.

I think you should consider making a new site intended for trolling the internet, like you did back in the day, then move these forums over to it. Hell, I could do the development work myself with the help of a few people from these boards.
Honestly, the reason this site has such a huge variety of things on it after all this time is because I never enjoyed staying in one place (in terms of comedy) for too long. I spent quite a few years on Geocities and then a few more in the early days of I-Mockery doing mostly scene mockeries such as the Anti-Rave site, Winky's hardcore hate pages, Metal Mockery, Church of Mockery, Internet Perverts Exposed, etc. While I did have a lot of fun working on those, there just came a time where I grew tired of that kind of comedy. There was so much more I was interested in, and that's why I'm always trying to do something new.

Nowadays, I really enjoy the variety of things that I-Mockery has opened up for me to be able to work on. In the early days, it felt constrictive, but now I feel like there's nothing I'm interested in that I can't write about somewhere on this site. If I want to talk about a game one day, I can do that. If I want to rant about something I think is incredibly stupid, I can do that. If I want to go on a trip to a strange place and make a photo essay about it, I can do that. It's really opened up into a total stream of consciousness and that's why I'm so happy with where it is at the moment. I don't think many other sites offer that kind of variety and I try to let the other writers have total creative freedom as well. When you do that, you'll see people having fun with what they're writing instead of feeling like they "have to" write something. Plus, when people come to visit the site, they never really know what they're going to expect on here next. I couldn't have predicted I'd be writing a blog entry about a "Super Duty Wiener Fork", but there it is. It's nice to have that.

So I guess that's why I have no interest in going back to the days of making mini-sites with the sole intention of trolling the internet. I love those old sites and wouldn't want to change 'em, but I want to keep working on new things these days. Only problem I see is that some people are still living in the old days of much harsher mockery rather than just being playful and wanting to have fun conversations with people (old or new). I often wonder if I should either setup a forum just for the people who want to do nothing but troll/flame and if they do it in any of the other forums, issue warnings / bannings to 'em.

[Zhukov]

I've never been on the end of really harsh 'trolling', or maybe I have and it just never registered with me. I'll admit that some of the funniest things I have been have been the beat downs that have occured here, but also on the other hand there have been one or two really harsh things that I thought were a bit too much.

Still, I don't think I've ever seen a normal, reasonably intelligent and constructive person join the forums only to get berated on a personal level. Everyone might get a hazing, but it's all in fun, and if you are incredibly annoying and stupid, then you get what you deserve. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think it's as bad as people have said, at least not what I have seen/experienced.

On a second note, yes please come back Jake.

Third: Round two also goes to Elx.

[Zomboid]

This is all very saddening :(

edit: I think the newbie beatdowns were a really good way to thin out the shit from the rest. Those that made it through the berating and derision usually ended up finding their own place. I think with the more restrictive rules in place, there are too many retards running around and it's not even really worth posting anymore because they all swarm and leave their stupid fucking opinions and jokes. Then again, I've been coming here for 7 years and maybe I just don't want it to change because I have fond memories of the "old days."

[captain516]

Everyone might get a hazing, but it's all in fun, and if you are incredibly annoying and stupid, then you get what you deserve. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think it's as bad as people have said, at least not what I have seen/experienced.

This. I mean, you'd have to be really pathetic to be offended by what goes on here.

[Zhukov]

I didn't even see it as newbie beat downs, just moron beat downs. There were plenty of people that were new and never got teased, and vice versa. In fact, the punching bags that stuck around were always morons, and they were the best and I miss them. :(

[The Leader]

they all swarm and leave their stupid fucking opinions and jokes.
But you like me, right? :)

[Tadao]

And my first day began after Tadao went to the website I'm admin on and impersonated himself and two other members here in an attempt to troll me back here. I think that's an honor (or at least I've never had that happen before).

I took it way to far that time. Your username is a beacon for abuse.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I took it way to far that time. Your username is a beacon for abuse.

Surprised you just didn't pick her up in your e-van. You know the one.

[Dimnos]

I was expecting Tadao vs Jake gold. :(

However....

I often wonder if I should either setup a forum just for the people who want to do nothing but troll/flame and if they do it in any of the other forums, issue warnings / bannings to 'em.

:bestthread

[Tadao]

Jake has grown guys, we just need to accept the fact that he is taking his meds and not as naive anymore. He already proved that a few months ago when I talked to him last. He just wants to know if he's gonna be hunted down like a dog if he posts. No offense Jake, but we like you insane, but we haven't tried Jake 2.0 yet.

[Dimnos]

Im sure he will be just as fun to laugh at.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I still think he's someones character.

[Zhukov]

Seriously, Jake, which bookshop was it? I want to visit! :\

[Chojin]

So I guess that's why I have no interest in going back to the days of making mini-sites with the sole intention of trolling the internet. I love those old sites and wouldn't want to change 'em, but I want to keep working on new things these days. Only problem I see is that some people are still living in the old days of much harsher mockery rather than just being playful and wanting to have fun conversations with people (old or new). I often wonder if I should either setup a forum just for the people who want to do nothing but troll/flame and if they do it in any of the other forums, issue warnings / bannings to 'em.

Honestly, let's do this:

Set up a new site 'feature' that's meant for trolling and designed/run entirely by myself and other forum professionals (I-SERIOUSNESS)
We'll use that as a hub to create more trolling pages
Move these forums over there to that feature
Set I-Bapery skin to default
Create new forums and make article discussion the 'general blabber' of that one

In this way, you don't have to do stuff you're not interested in, you'll get more hits by proxy of my page, the vets will be happy, and newbies won't cry as hard.

[ZeldaQueen]

I took it way to far that time. Your username is a beacon for abuse.
You don't like the Legend of Zelda I take it? :(

[Tadao]

I don't like the Legend of ZBF

[Chojin]

Honestly, let's do this:

Set up a new site 'feature' that's meant for trolling and designed/run entirely by myself and other forum professionals (I-SERIOUSNESS)
We'll use that as a hub to create more trolling pages
Move these forums over there to that feature
Set I-Bapery skin to default
Create new forums and make article discussion the 'general blabber' of that one

In this way, you don't have to do stuff you're not interested in, you'll get more hits by proxy of my page, the vets will be happy, and newbies won't cry as hard.

QUOTED FOR PAGEBREAK

[ZeldaQueen]

I don't like the Legend of ZBF
You thought I was him/her? I see.

I saw his/her thread on the broken CD or whatever.

[Zomboid]

Honestly, I stopped thinking they were different people and their personas/posts sort of started merging together a while ago.

[Tadao]

I remember when I first (re) got here in late 2007, I had to deal with Pubs territorial behavior, Willie under cover and being a jerk, Sevenforce doing what he does best and GW trying to act like a girl who loves all the same things as me.

[Kitsa]

things must not have changed much between when you re-got here and when I got here, then.

[Zomboid]

What are you even talking about, "re-got here"? When were you here before?

The GW saga was hilarious, but the aftermath was not. Pub's territorial behavior is kind of like a kid in a tree house; he's only getting what he wants if you pay him and his weird antics any attention.

[Tadao]

I was here for a short while in 2002, but I was told by work not to get into fights cause they didn't want all the I.P.s blocked and I got bored of watching.

[Dimnos]

You had a job? :x

[elx]

At least you understand. It's like a big relief to get this big weight off me. When I say I'm dedicating my book to you, I mean it. If none of this ever went down I never would have come up with the idea of a book about a (completely unrelated) flame war resulting in dire consequences/messed up ghost story in the first place. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but I have sent part of it to a publisher, and they liked it, but they say it needs crafting. That's fair enough, at this age I'm still very young and very, very stupid.

hi jake, i stopped reading your post here. publishers do not tend to accept unsolicited manuscripts, they get sent into a "slush pile" and are never responded to. no legitimate publisher would take half of your manuscript, read it and tell you it needs work.

you're lying. if you really did write a book and were serious about having it published then you would have researched it just a little and you would know that you would have to write query letters to literary agents who (if interested) would then request a copy of your manuscript. if they like it, they would then forward it to an editor or two, THEN your literary agent acting on your behalf would send copies of your manuscript out to publishing houses. that's standard procedure in australia, too. you would never even speak to a publisher unless they were interested in buying your book, i refuse to believe that any aspiring writer would not know that.

p.s- if jake is someones character then whoever occupying him should really put a little bit of work into it so it's not so obvious and disappointing. :(

[Evil Robot]

Hi guys, sorry i'm late in this thread but I found a threatening street sign I want you all to see!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_j_Bcf_6uMS4/SEGl5zLxGQI/AAAAAAAAEDM/F46IF8KhimI/s1600/andrewdisalvo-nikond80-6446%2Bforce%2Btube%2Bst.jpg
Oh and Jake, HOLY SHIT YOU ARE THE MOST SENSITIVE "PERSON" EVER!!!! SERiously your being taunted by people on the internet who you will never meet and don't mean shit to you let alone the fact that their opinions don't men shit anywhere except here (barely).

Seriously Jake you gotta get in the FORCE TUBE and be more aggressively defensive with these fucks. Don't be afraid to threaten to set somebody's house on fire or stab them in the ass with a shovel.

Thank you for your time,
EVIL ROBOT RULES

[ZeldaQueen]

hi jake, i stopped reading your post here. publishers do not tend to accept unsolicited manuscripts, they get sent into a "slush pile" and are never responded to. no legitimate publisher would take half of your manuscript, read it and tell you it needs work.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't that depend on the publisher? I mean I'm sure the odds aren't great but it's still possible.

you're lying. if you really did write a book and were serious about having it published then you would have researched it just a little and you would know that you would have to write query letters to literary agents who (if interested) would then request a copy of your manuscript. if they like it, they would then forward it to an editor or two, THEN your literary agent acting on your behalf would send copies of your manuscript out to publishing houses. that's standard procedure in australia, too. you would never even speak to a publisher unless they were interested in buying your book, i refuse to believe that any aspiring writer would not know that.

Eh, like I said it depends on the literary agent/publisher. I've seen agents that want you to contact them first then send in samples and ones who want you to include a few pages straightaway. There are people who skip literary agents all together and people who publish their own work.

[elx]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't that depend on the publisher? I mean I'm sure the odds aren't great but it's still possible.
yes, i suppose it is possible but as you said it's not realistic. i should clarify, by publishers, i am referring specifically to reputable publishing houses. not exclusively major ones - just legitimate ones. if jake were as serious about writing as he portrays himself to be he would not have done that.


Eh, like I said it depends on the literary agent/publisher. I've seen agents that want you to contact them first then send in samples and ones who want you to include a few pages straightaway. There are people who skip literary agents all together and people who publish their own work.
i've also noticed this, they all seem to have various preferences, like for example some agents only accept query letters via snail-mail to deter those who are not serious about it. this way, it prevents them from being stuck on an email forwarding list of every single agent in the business. on the flip side, a lot of agents only accept email query letters because they're easier to keep track of (and possibly due to a fear of anthrax)
so yeah, as you said, it really just depends. the basic idea still stands though, if you want your book published, there is a proper way to have it done. jake would have known, a publisher would have known, therefore i don't believe this happened.

[Zhukov]

Do you know this because you are trying to get a book published, elx?

[elx]

nah, i know this from reading books, not writing them.

edit: although I AM published, when I was in fourth grade a company paid $40 for one of my poems to be added to a collection, then my parents turned around and spent over $200 on copies of the book. :(

[Zhukov]

That's strange, I know someone that had the exact same thing happen to them. Hmm.

[The Leader]

I had a letter published in Toyfare magazine once. :)

[Zhukov]

Yeah, I had an article about the live trade of animals published in a nation wide left wing newspaper. It was heavily edited though because my article was pretty shit :(

[ZeldaQueen]

Bah, closest I've gotten to being published is when my Reflections entry made Nationals. >:

[Evil Robot]

I am a publisher and I hate your manuscript.

[captain516]

I had a letter published in Toyfare magazine once. :)
That's nothing. I've had my letter published in the funny books.
Edit: Proof, not that anyone cares.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3475/3831936005_62e6bd12cb.jpg

[captain516]

..

[Dimnos]

My grandmother had a bunch of trashy romance novels published. If she can do it anyone can. :\

[RaNkeri]

I've published one article

[Zhukov]

Well, don't keep us in suspense Rankeri!


PS:

http://base.googlehosted.com/base_media?q=LBC-3107828-370513752&size=1&hl=en

Nevermind Jake, I found it myself. Kinokuniya.

[darkvare]

i read porno mags :)

[executioneer]

I'VE WRITTEN NOTHING AND I'M PROUD OF IT >:

[Kitsa]

I don't have a literary agent (not that it wouldn't be nice) and I stay far away from vanity publishers. In my experience, the editor (or the art director or whomever the grand poobah is in the department they want me for) contacts me directly, gives a brief overview, then mails a contract with all the terms laid out. If anything looks iffy, I have my lawyer look at it before I sign and return it. Usually they want you to also submit an invoice. Advance copies are normally mailed from the publisher directly a short time before the official "publication" date.

[Colonel Flagg]

I co-authored several chemistry articles and hold 2 patents. Nothing literary per se, but they're peer-reviewed prior to publication. I'd like to write a book, but the subject matter would be a social commentary rather than a scientific one.

[Kitsa]

Patent highfive! I'm about halfway through the process of one.

Also, peers are mean :(

[Hangie]

You guys are all weird D:

I'm telling the police.

[Evil Robot]

I wrote articles for Ehow.com about mercruiser stern drives and made over $20 in ad revenue. woo hoo!

[ZeldaQueen]

I have written two children's fantasy stories and am working on a third, but none have been published. :(

[Colonel Flagg]

Whatever happened to JOAT?

Just curious.

[Tadao]

I just pmed him today.

[Esuohlim]

All the stories I try to write turn into time-travel science fiction shit >:

And regarding the attitude of the forums, I-Mockery has always been to me the only relatively public and well-known internet community with (reasonably) intelligent people where you didn't have maintain a positive energy by being nice to everyone and pretending to like them.

If a new person starts posting banal garbage and boring stock responses to other people's posts what reason should I have to humor their posting? Why should people like dirtyxblondexdame stick around and feel accepted when they contribute nothing worthwhile or entertaining?

[Zomboid]

I think that's a major problem now, though. The stock responses are at an all-time high, and the fun discussions are becoming fewer and fewer.

ZQ's dreams of becoming a writer are still usually good for a laugh. What do you even do, aside from post here? Are you in college or university? Do you have a job? You come off as one of those weird, flaky "internet people" who're always willing to give advice even when they don't have any experience in the area they're advising you in. Just a typical overly friendly person on the internet. YOU SICKEN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x

[Tadao]

All the stories I try to write turn into time-travel science fiction shit >:

And regarding the attitude of the forums, I-Mockery has always been to me the only relatively public and well-known internet community with (reasonably) intelligent people where you didn't have maintain a positive energy by being nice to everyone and pretending to like them.

If a new person starts posting banal garbage and boring stock responses to other people's posts what reason should I have to humor their posting? Why should people like dirtyxblondexdame stick around and feel accepted when they contribute nothing worthwhile or entertaining?

Speaking of which, elx's constant complaining is getting boring. Maybe you should out the character if it doesn't improve. >:

[The Leader]

What if elx is just a future version of ZQ who traveled back in time?! :eek

[Tadao]

But ZQ is older than elx, OMG TIME RIFT RUUUUUUUUUN!

[The Leader]

OH SHIT GUYS

[LordSappington]

http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff44/roflcopter12211/ohgoddd.jpg

[ZeldaQueen]

ZQ's dreams of becoming a writer are still usually good for a laugh. What do you even do, aside from post here? Are you in college or university? Do you have a job? You come off as one of those weird, flaky "internet people" who're always willing to give advice even when they don't have any experience in the area they're advising you in. Just a typical overly friendly person on the internet. YOU SICKEN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I'm in college (the University of Pittsburgh), but I'm on summer break until August 31st.

No I don't have a job yet, but I'm working at a bookstore which raises money for the local library.

Just because you don't have experience in an area doesn't mean you know nothing about it. I haven't experience being shot but I know it's painful and potentially fatal and therefore should be avoided. And I do avoid certain topics, that's why I've been staying out of political discussions.

Of course I'm an overly friendly person online. I'm an overly friendly person in real life. It's just the way I am.

When I'm not online, I walk to the park, talk with my family, go to the library,
write stuff, listen to music, and think about stuff.

What do you do all day when you're not online?

I'm sorry I sicken you. I hope you can make it to the bathroom on time. I know throwing up outside sucks. :(

[Shyandquietguy]

just because you don't have experience in an area doesn't mean you know nothing about it. I haven't experience being shot but I know it's painful and potentially fatal and therefore should be avoided. And I do avoid certain topics, that's why I've been staying out of political discussions.
Pussy.

[Zhukov]

I don't think there are enough complete morons, or nut jobs for the type of humour that used to pertain these forums. It's also the reason the political board doesn't get much action these days; no nutters like Vince to argue with.

If someone new (or old) shows that they are a slow minded berk, then I see no reason why people should hold back. I certianly hope that they don't.

Elx, however, is doing a fine job at making Aimless seem stupid, in my opinion.

[LordSappington]

I think I missed the entire elx/Aimless clash, unfortunately.
So.... is this a free ticket to be a complete douchebag now?

[Dixie]

You already are a dooshbag

[LordSappington]

Tip of the iceberg, my friend.

[ZeldaQueen]

Pussy.
Perhaps, but I'm afraid I'm allergic to bleeding to death. It's a condition I've had from birth.

[Shyandquietguy]

Yeah well I'm highly allergic to Penicillin and yet i still take it! I intentionally get stung by bees and I even clean my finger nails with rusty nails!

Pussy.

[RaNkeri]

Hemophilia is serious business

[Shyandquietguy]

What the fuck did you just call me?

[ZeldaQueen]

Yeah well I'm highly allergic to Penicillin and yet i still take it! I intentionally get stung by bees and I even clean my finger nails with rusty nails!

Pussy.
Good for you! Take life to the fullest! :)

And out of curiousity, why is "pussy" an insult? It's either a woman's body part or a cat. If you're implying that I am girlish then I certainly hope I am.

[captain516]

It's different for guys :(

[Zomboid]

Or so your mom tells you.

[captain516]

At least I have a mom, and not 2 dads.

[Shyandquietguy]

Good for you! Take life to the fullest! :)

And out of curiousity, why is "pussy" an insult? It's either a woman's body part or a cat. If you're implying that I am girlish then I certainly hope I am.
Using synonyms as logic is for pussies.

Pussy.

[Zomboid]

At least I have a mom, and not 2 dads.

Well, when they make a sitcom based on your mom getting drunk and hurling her empty liquor bottles at you, you just let me know.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v156/Lucifer40/dads.gif

[ZeldaQueen]

Using synonyms as logic is for pussies.

Pussy.
My, I had no idea my reproductive organs were so talented.

[Shyandquietguy]

Gee, I didn't realize how much of a pussy you are.

Pussy.

[ZeldaQueen]

Well I'm glad you learned something today. :)

[Shyandquietguy]

Well I am glad to hear that you waited for me to say such a line to prove how much of a pussy you are.

Pussy.

[Tadao]

I'm masturbating to all this.

[ZeldaQueen]

Good for you.

[Dixie]

That's it ZQ, show him a little bit of fire.
He likes that in a girl.
Can you guess what else he likes in a girl?
;);)

[Dixie]

I'll give you a hint:
h_m_e_f

[Dixie]

c'mooooon play along dammit

[ZeldaQueen]

Well I can't answer you if I'm not on the site darn it! >:

And yes, I get it. Har. :rolleyes:

[Tadao]

Who are we talking about? And by we I mean you.

[Dixie]

You're supposed to answer telepathically

[ZeldaQueen]

Who are we talking about? And by we I mean you.

Sexual banter I think. That's what I assume we're talking about when conversations here start to get weird.

@Dixie - Sorry, I don't telepathically call anyone whose number doesn't show up on my mental caller ID. Nothing personal.

[Tadao]

F-

Please read again.

[Zhukov]

TADAO: Jake updates?

[Colonel Flagg]

You're supposed to answer telepathically

Sorry, I don't telepathically call anyone whose number doesn't show up on my mental caller ID. Nothing personal.

Don't let her fool you D - she was wearing one of these:

http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

[Tadao]

TADAO: Jake updates?

No answer, he's probably gonna stay away.

[Colonel Flagg]

That's too bad. :( I was looking forward to more imaginary friends.

[ZeldaQueen]

Don't let her fool you D - she was wearing one of these:

http://zapatopi.net/afdb/
Duh. They're the latest fashion in Pittsburgh. And block out all of those Evil Government Illuminati Messages.

[kahljorn]

Hey guys. :)

AS FOR MY COMMENTARY THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS NOW FOR PUSSIES MOSTLY BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE TADAO AND THE MODERATORS WHO BAN TROLLS/ASSHOLES/STUPID PEOPLE (OR LOCK THEIR THREADS) WHICH WOULD NORMALLY PROVIDE US WITH DAYS OF FUN. Also all this FRIENDSHIP shit.
GOOD JOB GUYS, you're all pussy buddies who bump your pussies together.

IRONICALLY IM THE ONLY ONE ON THIS WEBSITE WITH A PAIR OF BALLS WHO"S STILL WILLING TO FUCK PEOPLE. YOURE PATHETIC.

[Misdemonar]

FUCK

[Sam]

OHHHHHHH SSSSHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[kahljorn]

:(

[Tadao]

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l23/dazzlejunction/0ag/greetings/friendship/friendship_8.gif

[kahljorn]

Now at least this is hilarious on the surface. Something sparkly after something sardonic? Class.

i mean those two things are practically polar opposites.

[Tadao]

AND DON'T FORGET THAT IT HAS PUSSIES IN IT

[Zhukov]

Hey guys. :)

AS FOR MY COMMENTARY THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS NOW FOR PUSSIES MOSTLY BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE TADAO AND THE MODERATORS WHO BAN TROLLS/ASSHOLES/STUPID PEOPLE (OR LOCK THEIR THREADS) WHICH WOULD NORMALLY PROVIDE US WITH DAYS OF FUN. Also all this FRIENDSHIP shit.
GOOD JOB GUYS, you're all pussy buddies who bump your pussies together.

IRONICALLY IM THE ONLY ONE ON THIS WEBSITE WITH A PAIR OF BALLS WHO"S STILL WILLING TO FUCK PEOPLE. YOURE PATHETIC.

I don't know, look at the way everyone has treated Hangie recently. I think people just needed a reminder of proper i-mockery etiquette.

[DevilWearsPrada]

:rolleyes If the only reason you're on a message board is to be a douchey troll, go to Helldump or some goddamned fetish forum. Your threadshitting is not as important as you think it is.

[DevilWearsPrada]

or /b/, they're also annoying faggots so you'll fit right in

[The Leader]

Mr anime Hitler angrily posts on the internet.

[ZeldaQueen]

Now at least this is hilarious on the surface. Something sparkly after something sardonic? Class.

i mean those two things are practically polar opposites.
Dunno, sounds just like Twilight to me.

[Shyandquietguy]

Twilight Twilight Twilight!!

[kahljorn]

90% of this message board is thread shitting with response shitting right after that. Just look at you, fuck pants, your response had the classic response shitting formula.

HOWEVER this statistic has been gradually changing and is being replaced by people like you defending their internet friend's vaginas.

Anyway I'm gonna have to stop responding now otherwise somebody will harangue me about being a jerk and always getting the last word in. Good day!

[Zhukov]

:rolleyes If the only reason you're on a message board is to be a douchey troll, go to Helldump or some goddamned fetish forum. Your threadshitting is not as important as you think it is.

Nobody is trolling anyone, it's just that HERE stupid people shouldn't expect to be treated as equals. Even then the insults are usually pretty funny and full of wit. Unlike just calling someone an annoying faggot, which is pretty unimaginative and not at all humourus. Also, haha, you posted it after your initial post, as if you thought of this awesome burn just after you hit reply, but you just HAD to add it.

If the only reason you are on i-mockery is to discuss 80s video games or that toenail that hit you in the eye when you clipped it, then please only post once a month, expect two or three SERIOUS replies, and then go away again.

[Zomboid]

When exactly did this place become about friendly conversations with no room for actual mockery?

:(

[kahljorn]

Since you started being so stupid zomboid

:)

PPLUS since these friendship circle jerks started forming

[kahljorn]

at least now we get to mock people who hate mocking and are afraid to participate in it lest they lose all of their friends and self-image :(

[The Leader]

Yes, because clearly the type of person who posts on here has a positive self-image.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

If I'm logged it I'm usually at work, so that means I don't have time to go back and forth with other people if they're going to go out of their way to be jerks. Also I deal with enough people that annoy me on a daily basis while not on the internet. Banter is something I can do but to me its just not worth my time to build up a hateful relationship with someone if I don't know them personally.

[Tadao]

pussy

[Dixie]

i am so very very disappointed

[MetalMilitia]

So did Jake take my advice or what? I think that's the first time that has ever happened to me.

That said there's always the chance that I thought he was gone but was actually an ignorant fuck. I hear that happens sometimes.

[kahljorn]

what i meant by self-image was not the image they have of themselves but the image they have created for other people to imagine them as.

[Wiffles]

When exactly did this place become about friendly conversations with no room for actual mockery?

:(


Since I TOOK over! Muhahahahah!

*shot*

[ZeldaQueen]

pussy
Yay, we've almost come full circle!
Now if only Jake would come back to make it a full circle.

[Tadao]

ZQ, don't make me force another vacation on you, you're doing it again.

[ZeldaQueen]

No! I'll be good! :hypno