Clement & CWC

[Chojin]

GR8V0aUNJhc

oh god.

this is like Kofi Kingston feuding with Orton.

THIS IS CLEMENT'S TICKET TO THE BIG TIME

[LordSappington]

'PLEASE LOVE ME.' :tear

[captain516]

Those two deserve each other.

[Evil Robot]

He, uhhhhh, i like uhhhhhhhhh, I have like uhh been diagnosed with, like you, ass burgers (?) uhhhhhh I just wan't to say uhhhhhhh.......

[Evil Robot]

On the other hand I saw a homeless guy begging on the subway today. He kept saying his name was "Ronnie Jameson" and that he does not get high hes just down on his luck. Later a city outreach guy gave him some macaroni and he threw it all up a few stops later.

Not to derail the thread or anything.....

[Colonel Flagg]

If ever a thread deserved to be derailed ....

[Guitar Woman]

5WPQEaDBp4Q

I'd let him near my kids!

[kgp4death]

why are you guys all up on this guys dick?

[Chojin]

why are you guys all up on this guys dick?

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE

[kahljorn]

IS THAT JACK BLACKS NEW MOVIE?

ALSO, "ALL THE TROLLS THAT TRIED TO HELP Y OU" AND " I WANT TO TALK TO YOU IN REAL LIFE ON AIM OR YAHOO"

lol

[Sacks]

I love the creepy wood paneling in his room and the way the camera struggles to stay focused.

[kahljorn]

yea it looks like his computer is set up in the backyard right in front of a fence.

[kgp4death]

All I am saying is if you don't like the kid then why are you guys stalking him "Tadao the faggot stalker" style....yes, Tadao you you have a style named after you.

[Sacks]

Since you came on here to advertise your boring ROM hack you wouldn't be privy to this forum's rich and fascinating history and thus have no idea what is going on here. Be gone from this thread with great haste before I inform the local constabulary.

[Chojin]

Since you came on here to advertise your boring ROM hack you wouldn't be privy to this forum's rich and fascinating history and thus have no idea what is going on here. Be gone from this thread with great haste before I inform the local constabulary.

if you look at the thread where he shilled it on IGN, they reacted in pretty much the same way

i guess it's just everyone ELSE who's the asshole, eh, curry?

[kgp4death]

Hey I am fine with assholes, I happen to be one. I am just saying get out of his ass, he is gone, good, bye, have a nice day. Sacks.....shut up, and stop using big words. I like 4 letter words like shit, and fuck.

[Wiffles]

I like 4 letter words too... like Love and Hapy ^_^

[Guitar Woman]

I was hoping this thread would be a chance to show off my stalker-like obsession with and knowledge of Chris Chan and his related shenannigans

BUT I GUESS BOUBLA-BOUBLA'S FEELINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT

[Chojin]

oh god cwc just mocked 9/11

also i too have read up a lot on chris, and i felt awful the entire time i was doing it

[Tadao]

I love how kfag thinks he's an asshole. He needs constant validation in his life, fucking loser.

[george]

why dont i get to see the pictures?? i just get giant blank spots :(

[Sacks]

I don't know how recent that CWC video is but it looks like he's losing weight.

[Wiffles]

Chris-chan and Clement, a match made in heaven :love

[Guitar Woman]

It's because he's been WORKING OUT

MmFtocrcDjM


To be a STRONG MAN

[Sam]

THIS IS LIKE THE WRESTLEMANIA OF THE INTERNETS!

[Tadao]

:lol

[Evil Robot]

The whole thing sounds pretty fucking gay to me. I never understood what people see in 4chan, I still cant even figure out what it is.

[captain516]

How desperate does one have to be to want to be friends with fucking Chris-Chan? This is just sad.

[Tadao]

Or to defend Clement's right to be left alone.

[Guitar Woman]

Look at it this way: if Chris Chan was your friend you'd never be lacking for entertainment as long as you lived

[captain516]

:lol true.

[LordSappington]

I get the feeling you'd never have a moment's rest as long as you were online.

[D.boupe]

That funny little guy actually played really well first time I see him play indoors. Entertaining match and full of drama TB. GL in the semis, Clement

[Chojin]

lol wat

[LordSappington]

4chan isn't nearly a vehement as it used to be. /b/ is still mostly full of assholes, but it's calmed down a LOT.

[Sacks]

I think that's because the old crowd died out when everyone showed up thinking the website was about porn and habbo hotel.

[Supafly345]

You think chris chan even notices clement?

[Sacks]

I believe that Clement is tenacious enough to pursue this until Chris is forced to acknowledge him.

[Guitar Woman]

That video is almost a year old. It might be hard to believe, but Clement probably stopped caring.

[Sacks]

He's watching. Waiting. Ready to kill. Ready to devour.

[Guitar Woman]

pizzas r dun in there

[Evil Robot]

Fuck clement, fuck chan, EVIL ROBOT RULES. WATCH VIDEOS ABOUT EVIL ROBOT INSTEAD

[kahljorn]

can you please provide links to these videos thanks

[Chojin]

upgrade from netscape and you can watch them right in the thread ;p

[kahljorn]

:rolleyes

:ROLLFUCKINGEYES

i was speaking to evil robot

[Evil Robot]

This is a car that is manufactured in North Korea and are usually made to be given to people as gifts from Kim Jong Il. They feature a clock, manual transmision, and state restricted broadcast radio device.
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NmhTKDqrEDo&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NmhTKDqrEDo&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Colonel Flagg]

Thank you ER. That was the funniest video I've seen in ages.

I love how the plant is really cranking out cars. Demand is sure pulling supply.

Where the "f" did they get the background music? It was actually good, in a naive kind of way.

[Evil Robot]

They show a mechanic performing a wheel alignment with an American made "Hunter" machine. LOL@KIMJONGIL

[Chojin]

http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/images/a/a2/Bad_chris.png

[Chojin]

http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Special:Contributions/JonathanClement140

clement, why are you updating the cwcki obsessively

[Evil Robot]

Why are you obsessed with a retarded kid?

[Sam]

oh god i can't believe there is a cwc wiki :(

[kahljorn]

there is no purpose in life :(

[Sam]

I no longer have any connection to this world

[Chojin]

oh god i can't believe there is a cwc wiki :(

There are two of them. :<

The cwcki is the one that chronicles his life, the cwcipedia is the one run by chris himself that mostly talks about the sonichu fiction. Both are actually hosted by the same guy.

For the past week I've been reading the CWCki obsessively. I hate to use the cliche'd "like a car wreck/can't look away" shit, but that's the only way I can describe it. Today they also released 3+ hours of phone calls and I listened to all of it :<

Watching Chris makes me want to be a better person.

[captain516]

The chatlogs are fascinating. I also love looking at the essays and projects he did for school.

[Guitar Woman]

For the past week I've been reading the CWCki obsessively. I hate to use the cliche'd "like a car wreck/can't look away" shit, but that's the only way I can describe it. Today they also released 3+ hours of phone calls and I listened to all of it :<

Watching Chris makes me want to be a better person.
I know, right?

Did you watch the sex tapes yet, those are probably the most horrifying part

[Sam]

Please explain the sex tapes. :(

I am too afeared to look them up.

[Guitar Woman]

I can't remember how many of them there are, but the best (:() ones are him fucking his anime blowup doll and moaning JOOLEE the entire time in the same way Timmy from South Park shouts his own name, and the phone sex one where his dad walks in and goes GET AWAY FROM THAT INTERNET, I'M CUTTIN' IT DOWN!

ricmZy9VZMM

There are also life-scarring nude shots, which was where the porn stuff started, one of which is a picture of his butthole that looks more like a vagina than anything. I could have gone without seeing it. :(

[Sam]

I'm glad you suffered through it so that I wouldn't have to.

YOUR SACRIFICE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

[Sam]

Hahaha I got brave and clicked that Youtube and was delighted to see Jonathan Clements is still continuing his crusade to be the internet's number one retarded assburgers case. :lol

[Guitar Woman]

Click this one, too!

Ty4bLUifoaw

[kahljorn]

haha fucking old people.

ENTER STAGE RIGHT: OLD MAN

see this is the kind of shit that happens when you grow up in a communist country. Why would the health department come out?

[Sacks]

Good sweet lord where are the videos of his house? Are they creepy packrats? I imagined everything was like and old person's house until you walked into Chris' enclosure.

[Chojin]

Good sweet lord where are the videos of his house? Are they creepy packrats? I imagined everything was like and old person's house until you walked into Chris' enclosure.

http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Tour_of_Chris's_House

yep

[captain516]

Is that one guy still pretending to be the real Chris? I remember "Ian" gong batshit insane about it, as if anyone would actually want to take credit for Sonichu :lol

[Wiffles]

has anyone heard of ulillillia? He is kinda like CWC, but dreamier. He is my fave quirky kid ^.^

[Sacks]

It looks like that is a nice piece of property, but their depression and resulting apathy have slowly destroyed it. Has the internet decided to send these videos to someone to get them kicked out?

[kahljorn]

fuck the internet.

[Guitar Woman]

I hate to use the cliche'd "like a car wreck/can't look away" shit, but that's the only way I can describe it.

I think Chris Chan is more like a car wreck that keeps getting exponentially worse with no paramedics or rescue team in sight, and at this point you and a billion other rubberneckers are camped out on the side of the highway with popcorn and porta-potties, some of them even running in front of passing traffic occasionally to see if another car will swerve off and crash into the ever-growing pile of flaming debris and severed limbs.

:(

[Chojin]

his life is slowly becoming the Truman show, as slowly every single person he knows is replaced by an internet troll in a deliberately orchestrated effort to fuck with him

[Evil Robot]

I'm calling it now that hes gonna kill himself.

[Chojin]

I'm calling it now that hes gonna kill himself.

i seriously doubt it. the kacey debacle was the biggest effort to make him cry and CRASH INTO SLUMBER there ever was, and 2 days later he recorded a video where he's smug and singing about getting a letter from the state of VA.

[Guitar Woman]

I don't think Chris would ever kill himself, since he pretty much believes he's a shining example of all a person can or should be and is an extreme narcissist. Chris Chan is probably the only person Chris Chan actually loves.

[Wiffles]

I bet, somewhere out there, that there is exactly a girl version of Chris. :)

[Guitar Woman]

He won't want her, though, no fatties or autistics.

[captain516]

Dont forget she has to be white too!
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2766/4103854403_b805552c67_o.jpg
Damn. He actually had the balls to put that on there,

[Wiffles]

Wow, upon reading those specifications, the guy has strict guidelines. O_o

She has to be white, fit, doesn't drink or smoke, and an average to high income earner.

[Guitar Woman]

Of course, he is exempt from adhering to any of those standards.

[Chojin]

on the latest cwcville archive video:

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/clement_youtube.gif

[Sam]

HAHAHAHAHA HE DID JUST WATCH FIGHT CLUB! :lol

[kahljorn]

:lol
there's people on the internet

[Chojin]

kahl, i've noticed you're becoming less coherent these days

maybe you should lift heavy things until you feel better.

[kahljorn]

Maybe I'm less coherent cause you're stupid and if somebody represented your intelligence on a chart it would be a penis

[kahljorn]

CHOJIN I THINK YOU JUST NEED TO LIGHTEN ;) UP. I THINK THAT YOU BEAR THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND ITS MAKING YOU VERY SERIOUS AND BORING!
ALSO YOUR JOKES WEIGH APPROXIMATELY SEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS.

[King Hadas]

I'm glad to see Jonathan Clement has still got the magic touch. As of late most of what Clement does depresses the hell out of me.

[Chojin]

this is exactly what i'm talking about kahl how would your psuedo-lesbian girlfriend feel if she found out about this thread

[kahljorn]

I think she would feel pretty good about it

[kahljorn]

SHE LIKED IT AND THOUGHT YOU WERE RIDICULOUS :rolleyes FOR SAYING "PSUEDO LESBIAN."

DID YOU LEARN THAT FROM WATCHING TWILIGHT :lol

[Chojin]

i said pseudo because she's into girls but is dating you

which is like, the worst of both worlds

maybe she should start exercising too

[The Leader]

Maybe she's confused. Kahl kind of looks like an ugly lady.

[kahljorn]

:lol

[Tadao]

hsikPswAYUM

[LordSappington]

Oh gods, I'd heard about that....

[kahljorn]

that guy looks so smug I just want to punch him in the face

he better be retarded >:

"LOOK I MARRIED A VIDEOGAME :rolleyes THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE IS NOW A JOKE :lol :lol" ":lol"

[Colonel Flagg]

So that's what JOAT really looks like!

[kahljorn]

So what made you pussies decide to attack my girlfriend anyway?? Desperation?

[Chojin]

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE

[kahljorn]

wat

[kahljorn]

I asked you a question chojin. Can you quit huffing airfreshner for long enough to give me a COHERENT FUCKING ANSWER GEEZ :rolleyes fucking jesus :sigh

you are just impossible

[kahljorn]

chojin i bet you're the kind of guy who gets his ass beat by a guy and goes and finds his girlfriend and sneaks up on her and punches her in the face in front of her mother

then you leave town

also the girl beats you up :LOL IM SO FUNNY

[Chojin]

u mad?

[kahljorn]

NOPE

[kahljorn]

OH WAIT... YEP

[kahljorn]

HAHA JUST KIDDING IM NOT MAD AT ALL I BET YOURE CONFUSED NOW

[Lord Lonic]

I like how he looks practically eyeless when staring into the camera...

Also according to what Jon told me the video was a big attempt to deconvert CWC from Christianity. No joke, Clement thinks Chris-chan's ultimate downfall is his faith. But then that's Jon for you.

[kahljorn]

what? you talk to that guy and call him by the name "Jon" like you are close personal friends and care about how his name is spelled?
what a douche.

[Guitar Woman]

man, I wish he was on speaking terms with me so I could finish compiling my encyclopedic retard knowledge

[kahljorn]

just pretend you're me for a few days that cunt bag always tries to talk to me.

[Lord Lonic]

what? you talk to that guy and call him by the name "Jon" like you are close personal friends and care about how his name is spelled?
what a douche.

I guess you can call me a pseudo-friend of his. I usually talk to him just to hear what new fucked up thing he's got cookin and for his silly weeaboo faggotry.

[Evil Robot]

I remember when I was in high school we had a kid with brain damage from drowning and another kid who was fucked up from being born in India. One day they decided to fight each other and it was the funniest shit I had ever seen. At on point the drowning retard had Rajib pinned between his legs and looked like a 69.

[LordSappington]

http://www.youtube.com/user/JonathanClement140
His latest video is terrifying to me, and I don't know why. I think it's the horrible falsetto, combined with the fact that a grown(ish) man is dubbing a bad, creepy comic.
Edit: On the note of fighting retards, we have this kid at my school who has minor autism or something, and loves to dance. So, you'll see a tall, black, autistic kid walking, and just start doing Michael Jackson moves in the halls.
So, some other black kid comes up to him one day, and says he can't dance worth shit.
I wonder how embarrassing it must be to have to explain to your friends that you got the shit beat out of you by an autistic kid.

[Sacks]

What is it about cursing that makes people feel edgy or hilarious. I got over the thrill of cursing in elementary school.

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK5cV4N-qVY&feature=sub

Wii Fit is the first thing I'd consider when looking to shed 80 pounds!

[Chojin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK5cV4N-qVY&feature=sub

Wii Fit is the first thing I'd consider when looking to shed 80 pounds!

I like how he trolls himself with the annotations.

I also don't understand why the FIRST thing fatties try when wanting to lose weight is exercise. I mean sure, that can be important too for health and fitness, but if you're just interested in becoming less of a horrible blob the diet is far more important.

NOW IF ONLY NINTENDO MADE A GAME ABOUT NOT EATING MCRIBS.

[Sacks]

Well it seemed to be working out for him.

[Chojin]

Well it seemed to be working out for him.

yes, it sure did cause him to hover in a 5-pound weight range for months on end, while still being 270 fucking pounds of man

[Guitar Woman]

I also don't understand why the FIRST thing fatties try when wanting to lose weight is exercise. I mean sure, that can be important too for health and fitness, but if you're just interested in becoming less of a horrible blob the diet is far more important.
Because junk food is fucking awesome and they don't want to stop eating it?

Weren't you fat? I thought you would understand this

[Sacks]

yes, it sure did cause him to hover in a 5-pound weight range for months on end, while still being 270 fucking pounds of man

It looked like he'd lost 20 pounds in 3 months or so.

[Chojin]

It looked like he'd lost 20 pounds in 3 months or so.

not according to his video

Because junk food is fucking awesome and they don't want to stop eating it?

Weren't you fat? I thought you would understand this

my point is that if someone wants to do something about being fat, they can start by eating less lard instead of shadowboxing their television for hours on end.

[Zombie Loaf]

Some guy made a disparaging parody (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/asperchu.thecomicseries.com) of Chris's shitty comic, therefore Chris takes the only rational path available to him and gives out more impotent death threats. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZelFvv2pas&feature=sub)

The adventure continues...

[Chojin]

Asperchu: http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/

It updates more frequently than any other comic I read and it's hilarious if you're deep in the CWC lore

[Zhukov]

What the hell is this? What the hell is wrong with this guy? This is seriously creeping me out and I wish I never read some of those hand drawn comics.

[Chojin]

What the hell is this? What the hell is wrong with this guy? This is seriously creeping me out and I wish I never read some of those hand drawn comics.

Asperchu is a parody of CWC's comics: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu_Comic_Collection

[Zhukov]

Yeah, that's what I was talking about :(

[Chojin]

Yeah, that's what I was talking about :(

I like the newest ones, where he unleashes his FINAL SOLUTION on all the homos.

[captain516]

I've recently learned that he's afraid of pickles. Where's Rog when you need him?