US Military is SOL for new recruits.

[VaporTrailx1]

Yep, that's right. only 25% of our nation's youth is eligible for military service. The rest are too dumb, too crazy or too fat.

http://www.sphere.com/2009/11/03/70-percent-of-young-americans-are-unfit-for-military-duty/?icid=main|aimzones|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sph ere.com%2F2009%2F11%2F03%2F70-percent-of-young-americans-are-unfit-for-military-duty%2F

In the event of global war 3 things must be implemented:

1. Robots. SkyNET will crush our enemies!

2. Force desk personnel who are physically fit to combat duty and replace them with fat people.

3. Make special "Idiot Battalions". Then use them as cannon fodder much in the same way the Red Army did back in WW2 with prisoners. Who says the mass charge is useless on the 21st century battlefield?

I dunno, what you guys think?

[Dr. Boogie]

Get rid of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?

[The Leader]

In the event of "Global War 3" (What?) I think that conventional warfare would be the least of our worries. A missile with a nuclear warhead can travel around the world in 15 minutes or so.

[Tadao]

Pay our soldiers what they are worth?

[Evil Robot]

The fucked up part is that all the troops they say we need for Afghanistan could just be transferred from doing nothing in Korea, but that would be to easy.

[Fathom Zero]

There are many soldiers doing nothing all over the world, though.

[Tadao]

Looks like there's room for a few more.

[The Leader]

:(

[george]

i would have retired from the marines last month if i stayed in :(

[Evil Robot]

You would be dead if you stayed in.

[george]

nah, i worked on airplanes. i would have gotten to feel guilty for the careless deaths of civilians and missed my kids a lot.

i have days where i miss working on airplanes, i really do. but there is very little else i miss about the whole thing. i was not the best Marine ever. i usually got into trouble for being nice, and treating my subordinates with too much respect.

sigh.

oh, and i once mooned bill clinton (airforce one, not him personally). i was arrested for it, and my commanding office thought it was pretty funny so i got out of the whole thing with a page eleven entry and duty driver every friday for a month.

[Geggy]

My mother told me when I was 18 that if I wasn't deaf, she would've forced me into military. Whew.

[Zhukov]

My mother told me that if I joined the military she would cut my legs off.

[executioneer]

my mother told me you betta' shop around

[Tadao]

do you have any fat eskimo girls?

[Dr. Boogie]

Spammers trying to lure young men into the military with porno. :lol

[Immortal Goat]

Being in the Army myself, I have to say that it is pretty damned pathetic that a chunk as large as that is unfit for military service. I went in not exactly in the best shape. I was by no means a fatbody, but I wasn't physically fit. I am now. It does not take that much effort to bring yourself to a state of eligibility for military service.

However, I do agree on the whole "paying us what we're worth" idea. That might help, too.

[ItalianStereotype]

I wanted to join the Navy, but I couldn't since I have brain shakes.

[Ant10708]

what are brain shakes?

[Dr. Boogie]

He means the DT's.

[ItalianStereotype]

On a related note, I have joined my local Confrerie van de Roze Olifant.

[Chojin]

sweet man elephants are awesome

[Kulturkampf]

America is a fallen empire and it will never recover until there is a shock to her system to help her expel those who are responsible for this sort of mess.

Get rid of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?

That's what someone who has never served in the military would say.

[Dr. Boogie]

That's what a zoophile would say.


Also, welcome back for another round of posting walls of text about yourself to be summarily ignored.