Shadowdancer's Bottom 5

[Shadowdancer21b]

This list is simple: movies that managed to put me to sleep or make me stop before finishing the movie. Just for reference, I''ve watched Godzilla VS Megalon(original VHS not MST3K) all the way through, Fantasy Mission Force, Ator the Fighting Eagle, and No Retreat No Surrender. So my crap tolerance is legendary.

To the list of five:

1. Underworld. I like werewolves, I like vampires(as monsters, not sissy-ass "love interests"), I fell asleep watching this movie all three times I attempted.

2 . Dracula 2000. Again, I couldn't make it fifteen minutes in before zonking out.

3. Meet Joe Black ( I took the tape out after the stupidly unnecessary sex scene)

4. Pearl Harbor( I saw it all the way through at boot camp, and wished I could have just left....stupid drill sergeants...)

5. a tie between The Craft and Spice World. I shouldn't have to explain myself on that one..

What are your bottom 5?

[Dimnos]

This list is simple: movies that managed to put me to sleep or make me stop before finishing the movie make me foolishly spend money due to poor judgment. Just for reference, I''ve watched Godzilla VS Megalon(original VHS not MST3K) all the way through, Fantasy Mission Force, Ator the Fighting Eagle, and No Retreat No Surrender. So my crap tolerance is legendary.

To the list of five:

1. Underworld. I like werewolves, I like vampires(as monsters, not sissy-ass "love interests"), I fell asleep watching this movie all three times I attempted. The first time I ever watched this movie it was of a crappy bootleg copy. It was all in black and white and the edges of the screen were faded out. The film quality reminded me a lot of Nosferatu and I actually enjoyed it. Later when I tried to rewatch a real copy with a friend I was highly disappointed and had no desire to finish it. :\

Ill have to think of my bottom five. Ill post later.

[Pentegarn]

Unbreakable
The Astronauts Wife
Stepbrothers
High Crimes
Twisted

[Shadowdancer21b]

That's quite the list Pentegarn. I'm curious why you didn't like Unbreakable.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

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http://static.letsbuyit.com/filer/images/uk/products/original/140/13/spongebob-squarepants-battle-for-bikini-bottom-pc-14013186.jpeg
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http://www.norcalblogs.com/watts/images/polarization.gif BOTTOM TISH
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[Colonel Flagg]

Unbreakable

I quite liked this movie. Then again, I also liked "Signs".

Mission to Mars
Return of the Pink Panther (the Steve Martin version :x)
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel
The Piano
She's Gotta Have It

[Zhukov]

The Wayans brothers.

[Aaarg]

i dated a girl for a while that liked awful movies, so i've seen a lot. so many of them i just don't remember.

[Pentegarn]

That's quite the list Pentegarn. I'm curious why you didn't like Unbreakable.

For the same reason I didn't like most of the movies on my list. While I felt the concept had potential, I felt the 'surprise ending' ruined it.

In particular, the rushed way he resolved the conflict between the 2 main characters. It was very Dragnet. Rather than extend the movie like they should have, they give this laughable epilogue in short text form. The only thing missing was the dragnet theme.

[Shadowdancer21b]

I feel you there. Lots of high concept movies peter out at the end.

[Fathom Zero]

Unbreakable was gawdawful

[Nick]

I liked Meet Joe Black. :(

[captain516]

Son Of The Mask.

[Shadowdancer21b]

Son Of the Mask contains the worst portrayal of Loki ever.

[kahljorn]

I liked unbreakable and was glad that it didn't drag out any longer because that wasnt really part of the movie. bruce willis woulda crumbpledumped the glass dude in one punch anyway.

in my mind it was like a prequel or something :(

[MLE]

I really liked Unbreakable, and anyone who doesn't needs to have their judgement skills checked.

[Mad Melvin]

I tried watching Pride & Prejudice with my fiancee and it was the most painfully dull experience i've had.

[Mockery]

Stepbrothers
I assume you're referring to "Step Brothers" from 2008, and don't understand why anybody wouldn't find that movie funny. It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!

[Pentegarn]

Man everyone is taking umbrage with my list

[Mockery]

Well think about it, we're talking about the bottom 5 movies you've ever seen. The absolute worst movies. There are FAR worse flicks than the likes of Step Brothers and Unbreakable. I'm not a huge fan of Unbreakable, but I don't think it's a bad movie per se, and certainly nowhere near the bottom five.

[Pentegarn]

There may be worse movies, but as I said before, these made my bottom 5 because I expected better from them. The further from my expectations a movie gets, the lower it rates. I already know Die Hard Dracula is going to be bad by virtue of the fact that it is a 99 cent dvd. It may be lower budget, worse acting, worse writing, but if i go in knowing this, I do not leave with a general feeling of disappointment because I got what I expected. However I expected better of all the movies on my list and they went above and beyond the usual disappointment a bad movie would make me feel.

That and it's my damn bottom 5, not anyone else's

[MLE]

When you share your opinions, expect to hear about other people's.

TL:DR- suck it up.

[Fathom Zero]

I AGREE WITH YOU PENTEGARN

THERE

AFFIRMATION

IT'S WARM AND COZY LIKE A CHOCOLATE BLANKET

[Pentegarn]

When you share your opinions, expect to hear about other people's.

TL:DR- suck it up.

Opinions I can live with.

People saying things like "Anyone who doesn't like what I like needs to have their judgment skills checked" I will fight back against

Suck that up

[MLE]

Uh, my point was suck it up, that IS my opinion.

PS: :lol

[Pentegarn]

:yawn

No, an opinion would have been expressing your personal view on a movie, loke, "I liked movie x" what you expressed was a pointless insult doubtlessly done to make you feel better about yourself at my expense. There was no reason for it. It wasn't funny, it wasn't inspired, it wasn't original. You just sound like every other slap on some movie board.

[MLE]

No, it was my opinion on your opinion. Still an opinion. I didn't think anyone would even really see it, and if they did, surely they wouldn't get offended, since it's just an opinion.

I am DEEPLY sorry I offended you. I certainly didn't mean to MOCK you in any way, shape or form. I'll make sure I try to live up to your lofty standards in the future.

[Mockery]

That and it's my damn bottom 5, not anyone else's
Indeed it is, and you're entitled to it, but you've yet to explain why you didn't like Step Brothers... which was my initial question. What about it was so lackluster to you?

[Pentegarn]

Just found it juvenile and moronic. To me it was just the straw that broke the camels back in a streak of bad Will Farrell movies. I expect Anchorman from him and when I saw Stepbrothers I was disappointed one time too many by his movies. Though I did find the bluray feature where you could make your own Boats and Hos video worth a chuckle, but that is hardly here or there

[Babs]

Ax'em is the worse movie you could ever put yourself in the position of watching. The acting, it doesn't exist. Dialogue, unintelligible and irrational. The move it self... leaves you speechless and disappointed, realizing that the decline of humanity started as soon as they started to roll the cameras. It's like they didn't even care about what kind of abomination they were creating, to top it off they didn't even bother to edit the movie afterwards. Like they realized right after making the movie it was a complete mistake. It's the self defining epitome of crass.

Just listen, you can actually hear them saying "cut!".
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Look at the fucking asshole in the background caring around the editing board. It's truly getting pathetic right now.
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Do I even need to say anything...
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It's so hard to accept that this movie actually exists. The incompetency behind this pile of shit is so befuddling that it actually makes you feel less human. Every time I throw up, I think of this movie.

[dextire]

Looks like Dr. Boogie agrees with you: http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/ax-em/ (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/../minimocks/ax-em/)
"You so fine, I could kiss your daddy’s ass." :lol

[spookware]

OK Just some from this year and a couple I though about.

1. Babel, horrendous simple as that.
2. Repo men, WTF was that ending?
3. Tekken, Gave up 1/4 way through.
4. australia , very bad, very bad.
5. The last Batman movie, the last Ironman Movie, both a waste of time.

[darkvare]

i loved the ending to repo men

[Shadowdancer21b]

Axe'em is truly horrid!

[kahljorn]

inland empire

only one i can think of right now :(

[Fathom Zero]

oh god Inland Empire. I tried to write a paper on that in my film class and failed miserably. I cut my losses and wrote about the Seventh Seal instead.

[Grislygus]

5 worst movies I've ever been forced to see, huh. No value in mocking them? hard to think of them.

-Sidehackers
-That one movie where the black guy murders people with his mutated penis. It was the single most mind-numbingly BORING movie I've ever seen. SOMEHOW.
-Blind Fury. Poor Rutger Hauer :(
-Cry of the Banshee
-Dungeons and Dragons: The Movie

[Shadowdancer21b]

Blind Fury was fun, I thought. The killer penis movie you're thinking of is Soul Vengeance, and it really is just dull and stupid.

[Grislygus]

I can't believe that anyone else had actually seen that

[kahljorn]

someone told me inland empire was written without a script like that was supposed to help its case. but when you realize they just stand around staring at shit you realize being scriptless is meaningless.

[Grislygus]

yeah, I never talk about David Lynch, because I hate being the self-satisfied armchair critic who says he's overrated, but seriously. Did you ever see the LYNCH documentary? There's absolutely no greater depth to ANYTHING he says or writes at this point, but it seems like there is and people want to be the ones who "get it". He's just fucking rambling on about vague, half-baked concepts, and his fans fill everything in FOR HIM.

[Pentegarn]

Dungeons and Dragons: The Movie

I forgot about that movie (or my mind blocked it out till you mentioned it) It may have to push it's way in to my list

:shudder

[Dimnos]

someone told me inland empire was written without a script...

If its written at all isnt that the script? Even if its a shitty write up? :confused:

[kahljorn]

i dont know the world of art

[Grislygus]

well, scripted SEGMENT, rather than full script. Still a case of splitting hairs