I wanna cut off my balls.

[Shyandquietguy]

God dman mother fucking peak sexual frustration bullshit and i have no way of satisfying it or even annuling it without fucking wet dreams.

Mother fucker.

[Tadao]

Please explain in detail.

[Dimnos]

http://astoriedcareer.com/hand.jpg

[MarioRPG]

I'm gonna assume your frustration would quickly be replaced by regret / depression if you followed through.

[executioneer]

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2009/07/State-Louie.jpg

[Pentegarn]

"Hey don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love" - Woody Allen

[Dr. Boogie]

http://www.maximumawesome.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/m_drew_shake_weight.jpg

[MLE]

You couldn't find an animated gif of that?

[Dr. Boogie]

Only one with a bunch of on-screen graphics. I don't want shyguy to get distracted.

[Shyandquietguy]

Masturbation is god damn futile guys. I'm just being weighed down here. I'm angry because it seems like I'm ALWAYS masturbating and getting fucking no where. Even getting thoughts WHEN I shouldn't be getting them. >:

[Esuohlim]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistent_sexual_arousal_syndrome

ARE YOU A POST-MENOPAUSAL WOMAN IN YOUR 50s?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I plan on cutting my balls off as soon as my kid pops out. Does anyone know if a guy gets fixed you can still shoot cum?

[Dr. Boogie]

I'm angry because it seems like I'm ALWAYS masturbating and getting fucking no where. Even getting thoughts WHEN I shouldn't be getting them. >:

Ever hear those ridiculous statistics about how often men think about sex? They're big numbers for a reason.

Honestly, are you really getting upset because you're getting wood at inappropriate times? Just wear some baggy pants and turn away from anyone who might notice the bulging in your pants. I'd say think about baseball, but being bored is usually what gets my mind wandering in the direction in the first place.

Masturbation is god damn futile guys. I'm just being weighed down here.

Then lose some weight.

[Tadao]

I plan on cutting my balls off as soon as my kid pops out. Does anyone know if a guy gets fixed you can still shoot cum?

Nope, never again. Not only that, but your dick becomes thinner and more flaccid. Your won't ever have enough blood pressure to have a full erection.

[Shadowdancer21b]

jLY46PNQH0w

[Tadao]

Can someone end this guys lame posts please.

[Fathom Zero]

Pickin' up the pieces of my sweet shattered dream
I wonder how the old folks are tonight
Her name was Ann and I'll be damned if I recall her face
She left me not knowin' what to do

[Shyandquietguy]

Masturbation is god damn futile guys. I'm just being weighed down hereThen lose some weight.

God damn it. :lol

No, it's not about getting a woody just because the bus is vibrating. I just feel that a lot of my emotions and judgement is being affected by it and I get tired as shit just trying to decipher them all and where they're coming from. Hell, I have trouble in general just picking out what I'm feeling other than severe depression.

Plus I hate changing under pants just because of a fucking elephant.

[Fathom Zero]

you're funny

[Dr. Boogie]

No, it's not about getting a woody just because the bus is vibrating. I just feel that a lot of my emotions and judgement is being affected by it and I get tired as shit just trying to decipher them all and where they're coming from. Hell, I have trouble in general just picking out what I'm feeling other than severe depression.

I'm assuming you're a teenager, in which case it's all hormones, and you'll grow out of it eventually. If you're not a teenager, you need hormone therapy. Or you need to get laid. Either will do.

Plus I hate changing under pants just because of a fucking elephant.

And stop with the obscure euphemisms. I can't tell if you prematurely ejaculated, or if you shat yourself because of something you saw at the zoo.

[Shyandquietguy]

I'm assuming you're a teenager, in which case it's all hormones, and you'll grow out of it eventually. If you're not a teenager, you need hormone therapy. Or you need to get laid. Either will do.I hear the town whore is in cahoots with the mortician.

And stop with the obscure euphemisms. I can't tell if you prematurely ejaculated, or if you shat yourself because of something you saw at the zoo.Now I can't go the the zoo. Thank alot.

[executioneer]

http://content.ytmnd.com/content/3/e/a/3ea3372bea4eef4f029476cf04111f6c.jpg ?

[Tadao]

Does this sentence make you hard? :orgasm

[MLE]

Go to a shrink already.

[The Doctor]

Or go jump in a pool preferably non heated

[Shyandquietguy]

Does this sentence make you hard? :orgasm

Almost, you need a colon somewhere.

Go to a shrink already.

What does that have to do with sex?

[executioneer]

shrinks are hot

[MLE]

http://doctorvoluptua.com/

[Shyandquietguy]

Now my ass is acting up.

Fucking impossible. It's like my body ignores the very fact that I was fathered by a farmboy.

Ha ha, but all seriousness aside, you guys can lock this thread anytime. I think I've reached around far enough.

P.S. I am half-serious about this actually! Does this make me bi or am I just giving out more than I'm taking?

[MLE]

What is this I don't even

[kahljorn]

i think this thread would make more sense if it was named, "THE 'IM SOO GROSSSSS' THREAD"

maybe with an lol in the title somewhere

oh i get it shyandquietguy=terra or whoever that gross person is

[Esuohlim]

Man, Loveline is by far the worst forum here

[Zhukov]

Just make sure you cut them in the privacy and safety of your own home. Doctors charge a fortune for a procedure that is simple and safe enough to do by yourself. Think of all the germs and infections you would pick up in a hospital. No thanks!

[Dimnos]

And medical expenses. Dont forget medical expenses.

[King Hadas]

If you're serious about cutting off your own balls I've heard of a certain technique used to neuter cats that might be of use. Take a rubber band and tie it tight around your scrotum and leave it like so. Eventually your balls will blacken and then, like magic, fall right off! And it's extremely humane I've been told.

[Tadao]

My sister has her goats done that way. :tear

[Supafly345]

VK3_qIJxw20

[Dimnos]

r-udsIV4Hmc

[MLE]

I now like this thread.

[kahljorn]

it offers practical solutions to a fake life crisis

[MLE]

More like imagined.

[Shyandquietguy]

No balls! No glory! ;( ;( ;(

[MLE]

MAKE UP YOUR MIND GEEZ

[Chojin]

P.S. I am half-serious about this actually! Does this make me bi or am I just giving out more than I'm taking?

i do not understand the question

[Guitar Woman]

you know, opiates will just make your junk not work, and you also won't become a fat, greasy eunuch

[Zhukov]

But then again, your answer to everything is opiates.

[Guitar Woman]

I come up with the best solutions.

[executioneer]

lotta antidepressants'll do that, too

[MLE]

Some will even help you lose weight. That's probably what's going on here.

[Shyandquietguy]

My anti depressents are making me emotionally wired, which in turn has caused me to resent some of the more common emotions. They are the smallest available dosage from a clinic for the homeless and financially impoverished..

I can only expect myself to be rolling over absent minded cats in this trailer park in a stupor influenced of oppressed, ambiguous and ill-managed anger and violent intentions.

I actually had a thought of trying to scrape the inside of my vein when I'm donating plasma.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! There is absolutely no way of getting past this wet dream shit is there? If I stopped masturbating, it would make my sensitive areas a lot more dull. However, I have never attempted to cut myself before. BUT since chopping off the balls is a one-way street, I think I'll only include it when I finally decide to do myself in. Put up a live web-cam and give the world a glimpse of me shooting my sac off before doing myself in with fucking snakes.

I don't know how things will play out right now but I sure as hell hope starting my new job won't be disasterous. I'm hoping for low zoo fences.

P.S. I know snakes are in fucking terrariums. Polar bears aren't.

To Chojin. Some of my thoughts are half serious but I was sincere about the main topic when I started it.

Guitar Woman may be on to something! I think drugs may be the next answer here folks! Music is a tad gray and so is video games and I barely know how to tap in my emotions to make drawing any fun. All I can draw is fucking DICKS and play the most monotonous shit that I can't seem to pull myself away from and the ambiguouty I'm getting from Oysterhead is gonna make me fugue but I'm fucking bored of everything else that I have. I can't even listen to classic rock without feeling depressed because the song is either so over the top obvious and poppy like shit or my knowledge of the lyrics makes me feel like I've never lived life at all.

[MLE]

I'm certain you need to see a shrink now.

[The Doctor]

Or be tied and gagged....which could mean you need a dominatrix.... who in return could inflict some pain, which would save the pain of cutting your balls off...take out some sexual frustrations and you can say you have now lived. Having the experience many people don't that of having a dominatrix. One word of advice have an easy "safe" word you can pronounce and not forget.

[kahljorn]

instead of shooting your balls off ebfore yo kill yourself you should find a few snakes and have a few snake battles with them

[Rez]

My anti depressents are making me emotionally wired, which in turn has caused me to resent some of the more common emotions. They are the smallest available dosage from a clinic for the homeless and financially impoverished..

I can only expect myself to be rolling over absent minded cats in this trailer park in a stupor influenced of oppressed, ambiguous and ill-managed anger and violent intentions.

I actually had a thought of trying to scrape the inside of my vein when I'm donating plasma.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! There is absolutely no way of getting past this wet dream shit is there? If I stopped masturbating, it would make my sensitive areas a lot more dull. However, I have never attempted to cut myself before. BUT since chopping off the balls is a one-way street, I think I'll only include it when I finally decide to do myself in. Put up a live web-cam and give the world a glimpse of me shooting my sac off before doing myself in with fucking snakes.

I don't know how things will play out right now but I sure as hell hope starting my new job won't be disasterous. I'm hoping for low zoo fences.

P.S. I know snakes are in fucking terrariums. Polar bears aren't.

To Chojin. Some of my thoughts are half serious but I was sincere about the main topic when I started it.

Guitar Woman may be on to something! I think drugs may be the next answer here folks! Music is a tad gray and so is video games and I barely know how to tap in my emotions to make drawing any fun. All I can draw is fucking DICKS and play the most monotonous shit that I can't seem to pull myself away from and the ambiguouty I'm getting from Oysterhead is gonna make me fugue but I'm fucking bored of everything else that I have. I can't even listen to classic rock without feeling depressed because the song is either so over the top obvious and poppy like shit or my knowledge of the lyrics makes me feel like I've never lived life at all.
:lol :lol :lol
man!
i do not ever want to be around you!

[Shyandquietguy]

instead of shooting your balls off ebfore yo kill yourself you should find a few snakes and have a few snake battles with them

Haha, I could make tin foil viking hats for them, employ brown tube sock "leather" vests and tape swords to their sides.

I have a question though.

Would it be considered the worst battlefield injury on the field or would it be considered performance art if I stick my cock into the loser's throat?

[Fathom Zero]

you might want to read the scum manifesto

[Shyandquietguy]

I have to give it a fighting chance by letting it crush my balls first?

Edit: just bookmarked scum manifesto for reals.

[Fathom Zero]

:<

[Rez]

Weird combination of fixation and trying way too fucking hard going on here.

YOU HAD A BAD DAY

[kahljorn]

because you had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around. you say you dont know you tell me dont lie ...
:(

[kahljorn]

the only reason i even know that song is cause i worked at subway and they brainwashed me

[The Doctor]

the only reason i even know that song is cause i worked at subway and they brainwashed me

Thanks for clarifying because that was a horrible song :lol

[Zhukov]

Lol Kahl, now it's going to be in my head for the rest of my life. :(

Oh well, at least it's gotten rid of WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

[The Doctor]

Thanks Zhukov now that shitty song will be in my head, thanks so much.

[executioneer]

just whistle the addams family theme that'll fix it

[The Doctor]

just whistle the addams family theme that'll fix it

Fuckin worked thanks executioneer, plus I love snapping

[MLE]

The Andy Griffith theme works too.

[Esuohlim]

So does cutting off your balls :x