What happened to me, a story for everyone

[Wiffles]

(DELETED) ^_^

[Sam]

Don't gloss over the part where you made terrible candy and your cousin Miffles and Eiffles came to join you.

[Zomboid]

Yeah, go ahead and continue. I enjoy reading about how shitty other people's lives can be--both because it makes me feel OK about my own life, but also because in cases like this, they're just plain interesting to read.

[Grislygus]

Jesus goddamned christ. Am I a member of a tiny cadre of posters whose life isn't a punishment from God

[Fathom Zero]

Depends. What if one revels in their misery?

[Wiffles]

(DELETED) ^.^

[Esuohlim]

WIFFLES, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL PERSON :jamesman

[Chojin]

so wait, wiffles isn't a character?

[Chojin]

when i was an electrician, we used to strip all the wire scraps and sell the copper from it twice a year. split between the 6 of us, we each got about $50, which was neat.

anyway i wasn't joking, i didn't know wiffles was a real person for about 8 years now. i'm still not convinced ¬_¬ i enjoyed reading the story though

next up: pram notices we like stories and vomits the novel of his tribulations of fucking with wet dirt

[Wiffles]

derp

Either Im good at making stories, or this actually happened. Take it how you see it

[Fathom Zero]

My stories aren't worth telling.

[Chojin]

your dad sounds like a tard. idk how people can't resist having a series of long, torrid affairs at the expense of the rest of their life and the people they care about. i find that people who go clubs/bars to hook up are among the many, many groups of people i dislike.

it isn't worth it; sex just isn't that amazing or interesting. maybe i'm doing it wrong.

[Zhukov]

WTF Wiffles does acid and meth?! That's not right.

[Wiffles]

(DELETED) ^.^

[Pentegarn]

This thread shattered my perceived image of Wiffles :lol

I wonder what the Colonel will have to say about this though, what with him calling you his adopted granddaughter and all

[Fathom Zero]

NO WONDER I TAKE CINNAMON WITH MY TEA

[Zomboid]

your dad sounds like a tard. idk how people can't resist having a series of long, torrid affairs at the expense of the rest of their life and the people they care about. i find that people who go clubs/bars to hook up are among the many, many groups of people i dislike.

it isn't worth it; sex just isn't that amazing or interesting. maybe i'm doing it wrong.

Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm right at the age where hooking up with randoms at the bar would likely be easy or at least appealing, but I hate that shit. I'd feel like a douche, the risks of knocking some girl up or getting cock rot are pretty huge, and honestly, it's not worth the effort. Bars in general aren't my favorite places in general these days.

Also, I had no idea that Wiffles wasn't a character. Miffles isn't gonna show up and tell us about being molested by his grandpa, is he?

[george]

i always thought wiffles was real, but a guy :)

i like your story better than mine wiffles cause i just get to read. i did not live it!!

as for random sex, it is fun for a few tries and then it leaves you feeling really sad. even for a dude just having somone want you just to fuck and go away hurts a little if you have a soul.


it also makes me happy that imockery had a reputation for being verbally abusive in that time frame. it made me happy. i love being abusive verbally on the interweb.

[Dixie]

Also, I had no idea that Wiffles wasn't a character.
Ditto.

[executioneer]

i believe in wiffles

:eek

[MarioRPG]

I love hearing stories like this... Mostly because it makes me realize how much I've taken for granted. Also people who enter an MLM business are some of the saddest cases of all. They are always so confident and make huge sacrifices and get shafted hard.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I also thought wiffles was a guy.

also what is wiffles drug codename for?

[Zhukov]

Iodine

[The Leader]

My life tragedy is that I was born with a form of dwarfism so I can't reach things on shelves.

[george]

a motherfucking midget >:

the internet is for tall people only.

asshole.

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

everyone's bumming me out

[bubbles]

I have never talked with you Wiffles but I liked reading your story. I have had the pleasure of collecting cans along the road not the best time and hardly worth it really. And the bags always smelled of a sticky alcoholic...

[Otto]

Wiffles reminds me of one of my close friends, who despite having an extremely shitty childhood that involved a drunken mother and a completely absentee father, mild drug abuse, and living in extreme poverty, is unflappably upbeat and is always able to cheer people up. Wiffles, you're awesome.

As for personal problems: I smoke pot almost every day, occasionally drop acid, have bipolar depression that causes me to drink until I go numb, and I think my dad has some form of mental illness because he spends all of his money on cigarettes and medical bills and takes a handful of prescription pills every thirty minutes. I grew up in an extremely low income family with my dad (before my parents divorced when I was 7) working about three jobs at once and usually got fired from one every few months while my mother seemed to be permanently in the hospital. My parent's divorce didn't really phase me, because I was already pretty withdrawn from the world at that point.

But hey, I can draw and have a job that pays just enough to keep me in booze and cigarettes, so I'm happy.

[Sam]

I once lost the WCW World Heavyweight Championship to David Arquette. Worst day of my life.

[Otto]

I once lost the WCW World Heavyweight Championship to David Arquette. Worst day of my life.

Hey he may have won the championship, but at least you can say that you were never in "See Spot Run."

[kahljorn]

there's this dude in one of my classes that looks like david arquette and a bulldog had children ;/

[Esuohlim]

My life tragedy is that I was born with a form of dwarfism so I can't reach things on shelves.

THIS MAY BE TRUE, BUT YOU CAN SEEK SOLACE IN THE FACT THAT YOU ARE IN NO WAY RELATED TO DON CARLSON

[Fathom Zero]

That is correct. The homeless vagrant Don Carlson.

[Esuohlim]

Don Carlson the notorious racist child molestor

[Sam]

The notorious child racist molester Don Carlson

[Otto]

The man that is well known to enjoy cupping his hand over his ass, farting in it, and then smelling his hand, Don Carlson.

[Shyandquietguy]

The man who picked up syphilis from a dirty soda can, Don Carlson.

I would talk about my life, but I'm so emotionally avoident and abysmally stagnant that I would be surprised if I lived past 30.

[The Leader]

THIS MAY BE TRUE, BUT YOU CAN SEEK SOLACE IN THE FACT THAT YOU ARE IN NO WAY RELATED TO DON CARLSON
As we have the same surname, I'm not ruling out a distant cousinhood or some such bullshit that would totally ruin my whole fucking day.

[Colonel Flagg]

This thread shattered my perceived image of Wiffles :lol

I wonder what the Colonel will have to say about this though, what with him calling you his adopted granddaughter and all

You're thinking of elx, my good man. :posh

Wiffy seems like a female version of Tadao, but she does sometimes act like a real person, so I guess I'm not quite sold on the "character" story as yet. Time will tell.

I would happily adopt her, if she felt the need of a somewhat used-up Dad. :\ She's a little too old to be my granddaughter, though. I think.

[Esuohlim]

Wiffy seems like a female version of Tadao

Exactly. I hope Tadao is having a great time posting as Wiffles with the laptop he brought with him on his honeymoon

[Colonel Flagg]

:lol @ netuohnav

[Pentegarn]

You're thinking of elx, my good man. :posh

Right you are sir :lol

My bad

But that shows that all internet females have merged into one entity for me :lol

[Zhukov]

I don't really have a great story to tell, and I certainly can't think up anything exciting to warrant me typing more than a few lines. Zhukov fans will just have to make do with this lackluster post for now.

[Colonel Flagg]

Well, I know that's enough for me. :)

[Esuohlim]

US ZHUKOV FANS HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED TIME AND TIME AGAIN

[creeposaurus]

I'm glad I took the time to read this today. I've gone through similar things and thought I was a fucked up person because of it. I'm really glad I read this, I don't feel so alone anymore.

[Tadao]

My life is perfect

[Chojin]

now is the moment that don carlson will have his revenge

[ThrashO]

Don Carlson had his with me. First he finds my facebook and then finds my little sister. SHES ONLY 8.

He sends her pictures of HIS PENIS. Don Carlson did. She brings it to me and goes "Tommy, whats this?" and I say "Well it looks like a retard tried to make a crescent roll and didn't use nearly enough dou- HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!"

It was Don Carlson's penis, absolutely riddled with tatoo's of Swaztikas and covered in the dried hymen blood of little girls and boys.

After finding HIS WEBSITE THAT HAD ALL OF HIS CLAYMATION WORK BECAUSE HE'S AN ANIMATOR FROM PORTLAND I sent him an e-mail asking him to please leave my 8 YEAR OLD SISTER ALONE. This is what he replied:

PramMaven@aol.com: **** you you stupid black ass ****** **** you and all your ****** friends if I ever get my **** out of this 9 year old im gonna **** your **** and **** until its covered. When im not writing music making clay guys or looking for a job im ****** in the **** with my **** just like your sister every ****** day. I might seem like a normal guy outside of my home but in my own privacy my ***** is ***** with ***** ***** ****** but ********* is where its at. IM OUT OF MODEL PLANE GLUE AND IM STARTING TO SOBER. FUCK THE POLICE. IM GONNA BE THE GRAND DRAGON OF PORTLAND LIKE MY DAD, JERRY BRUDOS. HERE'S MORE ABOUT HIM: http://crime.about.com/od/serial/a/jerry_brudos.htm

- Don Carlson

[kahljorn]

did you guys ban don carlson for being a racist child molester or did he just stop coming?

[ThrashO]

or did he just stop coming?

As long as there are children in the world Don Carlson will never stop coming.

[kahljorn]

As long as there are children in the world Don Carlson will never stop cumming.

that guy is just so gross!

[Zomboid]

Ugh. What is it with Portland's own Don Carlson (animator, claymation, http://donmation.blogspot.com/) that makes him so racist and prone to deviant sexual behavior?

[creeposaurus]

Google Image Search agrees

http://mrffriends.tripod.com/images/snipshot/carlson_don.jpg

[Colonel Flagg]

Cut it out you guys. You're RUINING HIS REPUTATION!

I'm sure he'll report you to the Federal Internet Police.

[Pram Maven]

My breasts are leathery and look like collapsed helium balloons. Also, my vagina is one of the only vaginas in these United States that can produce wall tack.

SHUT UP, CUNT.

[Pentegarn]

SHUT UP, CUNT.

uAjj3HNjCTY

[creeposaurus]

MORE COCK PLEASE

whaaaaa?

http://www.viethoroscope.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/year-of-the-rooster-zodiac.png

[Colonel Flagg]

CAT FIGHT!

My money is on Creep.

[creeposaurus]

I'm not a fighter, I'm an instigator.