Person You Will Be With For The Rest of Your Life (with a catch)

[MattJack]

Choose a famous person that you will have to have sex with and be with for the rest of your life. The catch is that they have to have the same birthday as you.

Me: Nov 12

Even though I got Wallace Shawn (INCONCEIVABLE (http://people.famouswhy.com/wallace_shawn/)), I will have to go with Tonya Harding due to the fact that she will terrorize the knees of anyone that I hate.

http://www.tonyaharding.com/tonya_harding_now.jpg

[Esuohlim]

Man, ain't nobody never born on Oct. 1 :(

So with that I guess I'll take "famous" Australian actress Cariba Heine, because it's either that or Mary fuckin' Poppins >:

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100209140622/h2o/images/b/b0/Cariba-Heine-season-3-h2o-just-add-water-10295508-390-264.jpg

[k0k0]

http://i.imgur.com/4Tg6p.jpg

November 22nd is the birthday of Scarlet Johansson, so that is who I would take to be my lawfully wedded bride.

It was either her or Jaime Lee Curtis, who's vag has probably curdled by now.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/29/Penguin1BurgessMeredith.jpg

gonna take the skinboat to tuna town

[Sam]

EITHER SEAN ASTIN, RIC FLAIR, OR CARROT TOP.

FEBRUARY 25TH MOTHERFUCKKKERRRRRRRSSSSSSSS

If it was a girl it'd be Tea Leoni or Rashida Jones.

[Chojin]

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1218053/

this chick was even born the same year as me. she's a professional actress :hat

oh and here she is topless

http://images.celebritymoviearchive.com/members/thumbs/b/bM9982-RobinSydney@SkullHeads.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

shes got saggy tits though. no thank you.

[WhiteRat]

Kara Monaco, 2006 Playmate of the Year:

http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/na/archive/00245/kara_monaco__playma_245483y.jpg

I really didn't have a whole lot to choose from but she will do I guess.

[Guitar Woman]

Bristol Palin was born on the exact same date as me :lol

She's fucking gross and a slut though, so no thanks. Instead I pick this lady, Carly Schroeder:

http://images.tvrage.com/people_galleries/10/28606/92929.jpg

I could get lost in those eyes for hours, baby.

[Tadao]

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000613351/polls_elvira_013_3045_320050_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg

[Dimnos]

Sep 4th and I would totally bang Beyonce

http://ll-media.tmz.com/2011/08/04/0804-beyonce-ex-01.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/af/Lara_Dutta.jpg/220px-Lara_Dutta.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lara_Dutta)

:eek

totally totally totally

That or I'd marry the Virginia Tech Massacre.

[Zomboid]

Dimnos's pic made me LOL preeeetty hard. FZ's just made me think..."Seems about right."

[Shrubfest]

Sorry Ben Kingsley, you are second place.

To Anthony Hopkins. Mmmm...

[Zomboid]

Fuuuuuck. I'd definitely spend the rest of my life leeching off of ScarJo and SUCKIN' ON DEM TITTIEZZZZZ.

[Zhukov]

Drew Barrymore.

[Fathom Zero]

FZ's just made me think..."Seems about right."

Them Indian broads, man. I think I have a sickness.

[Tadao]

YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS THAT I AM GONNA MARRY ELVIRA

[Fathom Zero]

I like her burns. :| But I think they're a myth.

[creeposaurus]

Matthew Bates. Second choice would be Bobby Flay

[captain516]

My choices are either David Bowie or Elvis. >:
EDIT: lol fuck them

Ami Dolenz (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000371/)
http://www.iceposter.com/thumbs/G152734_b.jpg
http://www.celebs101.com/gallery/Ami_Dolenz/8713/ami_dolenz_photo_4.jpg
:love

[k0k0]

I would probably divorce the hell out of my choice eventually unless she was nice (but she looks like a huge bitch). I like a girl with thick legs and a bit of baby fat, if I'm being honest.

[Tadao]

Ok Andre 3000 :rolleyes

[k0k0]

I don't understand the reference, so I won't respond to it.

http://i.imgur.com/E0Lee.jpg

[MarioRPG]

November 22nd is the birthday of Scarlet Johansson, so that is who I would take to be my lawfully wedded bride.

Cocksucker. If only I had been born 1 god damn day earlier. I guess I'm left with picking the only name I recognize. Considering up until 2 years ago, no one famous was ever mentioned on my birthday.
http://www.sweetslyrics.com/images/img_gal/9542_miley-cyrus-concurs.jpg

[Nick]

Selena Gomez.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Selena_Gomez_2009.jpg


That or Shawn Michaels, David Spade, Willem Dafoe, Danny Glover, Alex Trebek or Bob Dole. Maybe Louise Fletcher or Rose Kennedy?


Nah, Selena Gomez.

[Rongi]

I have the same birthday as lady gaga :gross

[Sam]

I have the same birthday as lady gaga :gross

YOU'D STILL BANG IT.

[Rongi]

hell no, dawg

[k0k0]

He'd have to be the power bottom.

[Esuohlim]

Nah, Selena Gomez.

Fuck you, same birthday or not it'll be ME who bones her stupid while you cry in the other room

[Nick]

Can I add milhouse backwards to my list as well? I like where this is going.

[Pentegarn]

Guess I gotta go with Shirley Jones

Or Rene Descartes

[Dommin]

http://blackgaygossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/natalie-mejia31.jpg

Natalie Mejia. She was in some girlband. She'd get it.

[Colonel Flagg]

Jessica Biel, although it's kinda creepy - I could be her Dad, after all.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/58/Jessicabielgfdl.jpg

Jean Harlow would also do, except that she's dead. :(

[Pentegarn]

I assumed the idea was that it was them at their optimal age and alive, otherwise I wouldn't give runner up to Rene Descartes :P

[k0k0]

I thought just the opposite. I thought it was how they are at this moment, otherwise I would have chose Jamie Lee Curtis from the time she did True Lies. Boing.

[Esuohlim]

Oh well if THAT'S the rule then hell fucking yes to young Julie Andrews, hubba hubba

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m8fm6tkNThc/TNpI2cCFo4I/AAAAAAAAAlo/cqVjYraUKEI/s1600/julie%2Bandrews%2B2.jpg

[Sam]

OH wtf she has two heads? IT MUST HAVE TOOK A TON OF DISNEY IMAGINEERING TO FIX THAT BITCH IN POST.

[Esuohlim]

TWO HEADS MEANS MORE DICK-SUCKIN' LIPS AT THE READY http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/pimp.gif

[Supafly345]

Fuck you, same birthday or not it'll be ME who bones her stupid while you cry in the other roomNCLQO4RUgJw

[executioneer]

prob. muhammed ali's daughter

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Rmn8Egf6OFk/SwMFNqgOidI/AAAAAAAAAFk/m0YJwDjd7hA/s1600/Laila.jpg

edit: or i guess if we're talking prime-of-life, tracey ullman?

[Nick]

It must have been hard for her to date with her dad being freakin' Muhammad Ali and all.

[Zhukov]

Not really. If anything, her being famous and rich would probably help her chances of getting a date.

[Nick]

I was talking about how intimidating it had to be dating a boxing legend's little girl.

[bigtimecow]

Jeri Ryan

http://www.afterellen.com/archive/ellen/blog/uploads/Jeri%20Ryan-%20Star%20Trek.jpg

oophomphom

[Esuohlim]

Oh man bigtimecow gets bigtimeborgboobs :eek

[executioneer]

haha he's gonna be making more than robots with her

...sort of

[k0k0]

If she doesn't have a metalgina. You know borgs are having sex because it sounds like the garbage disposal is running.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I wish Rachel Leigh Cook was born on my birthday.

Instead I have to go with Maggie Gylenhaal :/

[Pentegarn]

haha he's gonna be making more than robots with her

...sort of

Nobody is going to squeeze in an 'ass'imilate joke in there?

[Dimnos]

:lol

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Milhouse has borged a lot of chicks.

[sspadowsky]

April 30.

Had to google her. I don't know anything about her, but I would make her my wife. Kirsten Dunst gets honorable mention.

Emma Pierson
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h71/MrMorningstarr/ern-s-morningstarr-myriad-ladies/emma-pierson.jpghttp://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/images/bank/programmes_tv/drama/hotel_babylon3/300emma_pierson.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h71/MrMorningstarr/ern-s-morningstarr-myriad-ladies/emma-pierson.jpg

[b_squared]

Let's see, I share a birthday with:

Jackie Chan....the flexability gives him points, but he would be too quick for me, and way too petite. He is out.

Russel Crowe...not bad, especially in gladiator or the quick and the dead. but the temper...no thanks

My pick...James Garner
seems like a first class guy. And if millhouse can go back with Julie, I can go back with James, anywhere between Bret Maverick years to Roxford Files.



http://static-l3.blogcritics.org/09/08/06/110135/james-garner.jpg

[k0k0]

I think the good thing about choosing someone at a certain point in time that was a while back is that you know how they look as they'd age with you. (unless they died too soon)

[bigtimecow]

i just saw a commercial with drew barrymore in it, and i have to change my choice to her

http://media.monstersandcritics.com/galleries/1586828/DGG-02136834785.jpg

NO ROBOTS HERE

[Womti]

aya hirano
file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Internet/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot.png
definitely my soulmate :D

[Womti]

file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Internet/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.pngwhatever man someone just type that into your browser

[executioneer]

idiot, you have to upload it somewhere

[Colonel Flagg]

Actually, I kind of like that better. I suits him, you know.

[executioneer]

womti how are you still this bad at the internet after being on it for so many years

[Esuohlim]

lol

[k0k0]

He doesn't like to upload shit because it takes a while on his dial up.

[executioneer]

public library computers don't have dialup

[Rongi]

womti why do you even post here no one likes you

[Rongi]

i'm not even trying to be mean, i'm just curious

[elx]

andrew jackson

[elx]

http://i.imgur.com/wco0T.jpg
& im already in bed with him!

[Sam]

THE LAST THING YOU SEE BEFORE GETTING ARRESTED WHILE SOLICITING A PROSTITUTE.

[Fathom Zero]

That looks like a bad ending to an FMV game from 1994.

[MattJack]

MEH

[k0k0]

That looks like a bad ending to an FMV game from 1994.

That's almost exactly what I thought!

http://i.imgur.com/Z5bkv.jpg

[MattJack]

slowclap

[Dr. Boogie]

There's a real shortage of women I've heard of on my birthday. I guess I'll go with Maureen Dowd.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnv3zvMizr1qghrct.jpg


My runner-up, Rosa Lopez, a Spanish singer. Not bad looking, but I put her in second place because she reminds me a more masculine Rachel Maddow.

On the male end: Zakk Wylde, LL Cool J, Dave Grohl, and Andy Rooney:

BMm4nSxPCOA

[Womti]

womti how are you still this bad at the internet after being on it for so many years

look willie why dont you upload it what with you being this site's star moderator and all :rolleyes

[Esuohlim]

YEAH WILLIE

WHY DON'T YOU DO IT

MAN I'M SO BAD AT GETTING A JOB AND FINDING A HOME LOOK WILLIE WHY DON'T YOU DO IT :rolleyes

[Sam]

YEAH WILLIE, YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING BESIDES GOING TO WORK AND SEVERAL OTHER NON-HOMLESS ACTIVITIES, FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST FUCKING DO IT.

DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

[Sam]

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKK

[executioneer]

look willie why dont you upload it what with you being this site's star moderator and all :rolleyes
is it really that hard to register a photobucket account, dude

[k0k0]

The dude could honestly use imgur and not even do the photobucket thing. He's just a homeless pineapple cock who is too lazy to get a job, so why would he even want to take the time to upload something?

[Pentegarn]

YEAH WILLIE

WHY DON'T YOU DO IT

MAN I'M SO BAD AT GETTING A JOB AND FINDING A HOME LOOK WILLIE WHY DON'T YOU DO IT :rolleyes

:lol

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Esuohlim again.

:tear

[Pentegarn]

Being a homeless waste is a full time gig guys, our jobs all last 8 maybe 10 or 12 hours, womti never gets off from being homeless. That's devotion to your craft

[Rongi]

womti go jump off a bridge

[Tadao]

I WISH ELX'S TITTIES HAD THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME.

[Womti]

is it really that hard to register a photobucket account, dude


ACTUALLLY
ACTUALLY
AcTUALLY HAVE ONE YA FUCKING FAT BEARDO FUCKING RETARD FUCK
SO SHUT YA FUCKING MOUTH
oh and btw I'm not homeless anymore :)

[Esuohlim]

oh and btw I'm not homeless anymore :)

What good is having a home if you can't use it to post on i-mockery anymore though? :lol

[Esuohlim]

What the fuck, infractions don't ban people anymore? >:

[Tadao]

I WISH ELX'S TITTIES HAD THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME.
truth.orgy

[Tacobot]

I got Jessica Alba apr/28. born the same year too so she's probably too old for me.
http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/wtf.jpg
besides i think my other choice would appreciate me.
http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/saddam_hussein.jpg