Submarine Letter

[The One and Only...]

Can someone explain to me what this mysterious "submarine letter" is?

[ItalianStereotype]

well, your best bet would be here (http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=3803)

[Protoclown]

The Submarine Letter Fiasco was one of the funniest things I have ever seen happen on the boards.

[Brandon]

Can someone explain to me what this mysterious "submarine letter" is?
Christ, OAO, you're Vinth's best friend, right? You should know all about it.

[AChimp]

Hell, I'd bet that OAO is the roommate who threw it out.

[Big Papa Goat]

Aren't all Vinces roomates minorities?

[VinceZeb]

To sum it up:

I had an offer from one of my uncle's old friends in the Navy to join up and be able to work in one of the nuclear submarines based on my degree field and the activities I have done in my community. I had it, this board gave me shit because it is full of idiots and losers (for confirmation, look at the pictures page of this message board), I wanted to scan my letter but I had left it on my table and my dumbfuck former roomate threw it out and a lot more of my papers when he decided to move out just to be a prick.

That's pretty much it.

[Zhukov]

That's cool Vince, we believed you anyway. Hey, what positon would you have been?

You should probably ask for another letter, hell I would.

[AChimp]

Since when do subs need chaplains?

[Spectre X]

To sum it up:

I had an offer from one of my uncle's old friends in the Navy to join up and be able to work in one of the nuclear submarines based on my degree field and the activities I have done in my community. I had it, this board gave me shit because it is full of idiots and losers (for confirmation, look at the pictures page of this message board), I wanted to scan my letter but I had left it on my table and my dumbfuck former roomate threw it out and a lot more of my papers when he decided to move out just to be a prick.

That's pretty much it.

So, if they sent it to you because of your field of expertise etc. why did you say in the topic Italian posted that it was just a generic recruitment letter, because I don't think generic recruitment letters would mention anything of that kind. Also, I don't think they would make offers to civilians. So, one of your uncle's friends posted it? Then why didhe send you a letter asking you to join. Why not contact you through your uncle or through some other, faster means to ask you things and just send you a recruitment form. Why Vince? The answer to that is the same as the answer to the question 'Why we gave you shit about it.' It's simple, you're a big fucking liar with an ego the size of all the southern states.

[sspadowsky]

So, Vinny, what is your degree field, and what are the activities you have "done" in your community? Aside from stripper-implant massage, I mean. I'm just not getting the connection between "stripper-feeler-upper-imaginer" and "sub commander."

[Vibecrewangel]

They both start with "s" and end with "er"

[Protoclown]

That's cool Vince, we believed you anyway. Hey, what positon would you have been?

I don't know if submarines have poop decks or not, but I'm pretty sure his position would have involved that in some way.

[The_Rorschach]

Look, no offense, but the Navy doesn't operate like that. For one thing, you need a BA or better degree in order to qualify as Officer material. Second, you need to successfully complete Bootcamp (which, I'm sad to say, I greatly doubt you could do without FEP fatass) and then be nominated for OCS by your immediate chain of command whilst attending A-School.

Of course, then you would have to serve a decade or so, illustrating your leadership skills and potential, survive a single scope background investigation, and possibly you might be one of the few Submarine Commanders out there.

Not even a letter from the president would get you that post any quicker

But what I find absolutely enthralling is the possibility that, in order to make his enlistment quota, some recruiter absolutely postively convinced that he could make it happen, and managed to take you in so thoroughly that you remain convinced to this day. . .Which is why I say proudly -HOORAH NAVY!

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One of these posts isn't like the other. . .One of these posts just is not the same. I mean, was the letter generic, or from you uncle? OR DID IT EVER EXIST AT ALL?!!? Mystery!
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Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2003 3:04 pm Post subject:

It was a generic mail letter. I stated that before. And yes, a roomate did throw it out. Would you like me to call you so you can get first hand accounts, Max.

Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2003 1:36 pm Post subject:

I had an offer from one of my uncle's old friends in the Navy to join up and be able to work in one of the nuclear submarines based on my degree field and the activities I have done in my community. I had it, this board gave me shit because it is full of idiots and losers (for confirmation, look at the pictures page of this message board), I wanted to scan my letter but I had left it on my table and my dumbfuck former roomate threw it out and a lot more of my papers when he decided to move out just to be a prick.

[Protoclown]

But it's okay, Rorshach. It was a friend of his uncle, see. So obviously they could waive all that unnecessary crap like boot camp.

And the two explanations of the letter are different because Vince is a pathological liar. And of COURSE he'll deny this, but that's just another one of his LIES.

[pjalne]

I'm gonna tell my grandchildren about the submarine letter incident.

[Skulhedface]

I;M gonna tell my submarine XO.

[ranxer]

some of the funniest things i experienced in boot camp were the stories recruits had about what thier recruiter told them.

damn, i gotta tell anyone going in the service.. get it in writing.. get it on tape, and have a third party sign as witness!

[The_Rorschach]

Tell me about it. When I signed up to be a CTI, they had me convinced I was going to be beating the fuck out of gooks, duck taping chewing tobacco into their mouths, and implimenting torture tactics in the name of intellegence gathering.

Only the Army X-Ray interrogators get to do that shit. I was miffed.

[VinceZeb]

I don't know how the Navy works, Ror. All I know is what had happened. I recieved generic letters afterwards. The first was not. Or it may have had been. Hell, like I said, I do not know how the Navy recruitment process works. The only recuritment office I was ever in when I was younger was the Marines.


Also Ror, if you were to step up to me, you wouldn't be calling me a fatass. Well, you may, but afterwards you would be too busy picking your teeth out of my fist to say anything else.


God, I love the internet. Full of massive entertainment. I hope you never start charging for this message board!

[Zhukov]

All I know is what had happened. I recieved generic letters afterwards. The first was not. Or it may have had been. Hell, like I said, I do not know how the Navy recruitment process works.

Two kinds of letters! And you are not sure about either of them! Good lord, stop making it worse!

Did your roomate from nepal throw out ALL the letters at once, even though they are bound to have arrived at seperate intervals?

Can you scan us in a copy of the generic ones?

[VinceZeb]

I know I'm being stupid by answer your questions, but its fun.


I havent had my roomates from nepal in 3 years. I have stated that time and time again. But, you are a communist, so therefore you are ignorant and your reading comprehension is low.

why should I scan anything to prove anything to anyone on a message board? After I said I would scan the first letter, I thought that whole concept was idiotic. When everyone else starts providing facts about their life, I'll do the same.

[Zhukov]

What am I ignorant of? Your made up roommate time table?

Was it your Tibeten roommate that threw out the real one? Which ones threw out the generic lot? How many letters have there been?

I don't even know the full history of the "submarine letter/s", but it is painfuly, painfuly obvious to me that you are fibbing. But you are a fat moron, so therefore you can't think past your next lie.

If you want me to scan something in to prove myself, just ask - I will be more than happy.

[VinceZeb]

Never had a tibeten roomate, so how can they throw out anything?

When you try to be funny, it comes off as really insipid.

[Zhukov]

Oh, but I wasn't trying to be funny, so how can I be insipid?

How many letters have there been?

[Protoclown]

I really want to engage Vince here and attack some of the stupid things he said, but I'm really curious to see how Burbank handles it so I'm going to just get some popcorn and wait.

[mburbank]

I was just going to call him a fucktard

[kellychaos]

Of course, then you would have to serve a decade or so, illustrating your leadership skills and potential, survive a single scope background investigation, and possibly you might be one of the few Submarine Commanders out there.


Just out of curiosity Ror, what officer grade ("o" rank) is a submarine commander? I've alway been under the impression that they're about equivalent to an army colonel (O-6). I'm not really too familiar with the navy rank structure as I very rarely trained/worked with that branch of service.


Not even a letter from the president would get you that post any quicker


My other question to this is: "If the letter was so powerful and commanding in it's authority, wouldn't one just explain the situation to said uncle's friend and ask for another letter of recommendation? Was it written on magic paper the first time which could no longer be replicated?"

[mburbank]

Wait, wait, which letter are we talking about here, the uncle friend letter or the form letter? And which one got thrown out by the ethnic roomate and which one got lost because it wasn't that big a deal? Wasn't one of them generic? Which one is the obvious lie and which one is the plausible lie? AND HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT VINTH GETTING AN OFFER TO BE IN A CHEM BIO UNIT, WHATEVER THAT IS? OR THAT HE STUDIED FOR THE PRIESTHOOD? HE CAN BACK ALL THAT SHIT UP HE DOESN'T SAY SHIT HE CAN'T BACK UP HE'S A BIG, BIG, MAN AND VERY MASCULINE IN THE PENIS TO BOOT! YOU ARE A PUSSY! YOUR RELATIVES BEG FOR SEX WITH VINTH! LOOK! LOOK! VINTH IS PUTTING HIS JIZZ ON YOUR RELATIVES!!

[The_Rorschach]

As early as O-5 actually -though this may have been changed as a result of Cmdr Waddle's actions- but in this instance, tenure and reputation is more important than the actual rank of the individual.

[kellychaos]

It works similiarly in the army. I've seen lieutenant colonels command a brigade when, generally, the position is held by a full colonel. I was just looking for a ballpark.