I Salute the Curb Stomp

[Shut Up]

Throughout numerous urban neighborhoods in America, people of all cultures have enjoyed the wonderous activity known as the curb stomp for many years. It is a heinously beautiful act of love that can be employed by all Americans, regardless of race, gender, or religion. Indeed, the curb stomp truly represent all things sacred and malevolent.

To those unfamiliar with the curb stomp, it is a rather simple act involving two partners. One partner lies on his stomach, preferrably after being horribly beaten into submission or held at gunpoint, and places both sets of lovely choppers onto a sidewalk. His tender and loving partner, showing his unconditional hatred, then stomps on the back of the first guy's head either once or repeatedly, thus shattering his teeth and spreading joy, happiness, and brain matter onto the sidewalk.

I, for one, am an avid and loyal fan of the curb stomp, and would love to spread its teachings to those less fortunate and without curbs of their own, such as starving children in Africa or kids in sweat shops at Mongolia. If I had the money, I would open a 'Redecorate the Sidewalks' foundation and spread the curb stomp's many blessings upon the rest of the world.

Before I found comfort in the curb stomp, I was a dishelveled man. I would often mope about my residence, sometimes in underwear, sometimes not, and wonder why baby black Jeebus put me on this Earth. But now, after the curb stomp's glorious teachings, I know why. And life.. is beautiful.

To those not yet enlightened, please go to the nearest video store and rent American History X, fast forward to the end, and watch Edward Nortan curb-stomp a black guy. It will change your life, just like it has changed mine.

Curb bless you.

[glowbelly]

ummm...the curb stomp scene in american history x was in the beginning of the movie, dummyhead.

at least, i'm pretty damn sure it was.

[whoreable]

yup.
________
ESPADA (http://www.lamborghini-tech.com/wiki/Lamborghini_Espada)

[glowbelly]

or the middle. it definitely wasn't at the end, though.

[mburbank]

Shut Up, Fartin Mowler.

Fartin Mowler, Shut Up.

Let it never be said we are not gracious hosts.

[glowbelly]

i love when you start obsessing over new people. it's my favorite part of the show. :)

[!!!!]

OMG YOU'RE SO WILD AND CRAZY AND DARK AND OFFENSIVE!! I'M SO OFFENDED!!! PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT FUCKING DEAD BODIES NEXT :(

[mburbank]

Oh, Laws, they just suck so hugely! Here we all were complaining abou those of the newbies who were boring and now we get these two! It's a suck fest!

I can't decide if I hate Mr. "I'm-going-to-jump-in-like-I-know-what's-going-on-and-fuck-it-
up-so-royally-i-might-as-well-have-started-by-saying-I'm-a-lonely
-pathetic-dufus-who-can't-do-anything-right-ever"

or Mr.

"misanthropy-is-the-coolest-man-it's-like-if-i-can-make-it-seem
-like-im-just-this-big-bastard-everyone-will-dig-me-and-i'll-fit-in
faster-that-way-god-i-hope-so-because-really-im-just-a-lonley-
little-bag-of-crap-love-me-please-love-me-i-hate-nyself-so-bad-
i-need-an-identity-so-bad"

More!

It's like a Super Stop-n-Shop of hateful morons!

[Shut Up]

Without detterring this thread from it's very meaningful origin, I will say that it is immensely satisfying knowing while we speak, and while mburbank sits hunched over at his computer screen, that time is slowly and deliberately delivering him to the land of death. :)

Now back to curb stomping, gentlemen, if you will.

[mburbank]

You're really kind of a sad little dink though, huh? I like the way you strain at the vocabulary words though. It's distinctive, like someone making a really good try at communicating in a second language. I mean, you know, not to deter you or anything, puddin.

[Shut Up]

STOP THE DETTERRING, ASSHOLE. This thread was about curb stomping, not about my vocabulary usage or your bad hair peice. Now FUCK OFF.

[Vomit]

Shut Up, Shut Up. >:

[mburbank]

No, listen, seriously now, 'deter' my 'nether regions'. To hell with curb stomping, nobody cares about that crap, we just want to hear you ellocute. Ellocute, Shut up, Ellocute!

[glowbelly]

i would rather listen to him get electrocuted. :)

[whoreable]

Strange I always thought it would be more fun to watch someone get electrocuted not hear it.

I guess that is just one of those things you have to discover on your own.
________
ZOLOFT LAWSUIT (http://classactionsettlements.org/)

[Vomit]

Don't you mean "on you're own"? :lol

Oooops, wrong thread, LOL. :puke

[Cybernetico]

Dude, curb stomping is in a lot of minimocks. Stop trying to look cool with the staff.

Besides, trout slaps own curb stomps

[slavemason]

I'll always be a newbie and I've grown to enjoy reading the post more than posting myself. But this thread about curb stomping sucks most foul. I'd rather get tricked into RedBull's wasted pages of emoticons than read about such bullshit. Shut Up, why don't you go jerk off to your Bumfight videos. You make even the numbest of nuts look like a stud. Thanks

[Shut Up]

"trout slaps own curb stomps"

Yeah fucking right. Trout slaps don't hold shit against a good curb stomping.

"OooOoh I'm going to bounce a fish off your head moderately hard" compared to "I'm going to fucking cave your face in on the side of the street".

Wussy trout slapper..

[Shut Up]

Oh, and slavemason, that was the most half-hearted lackluster attempt at an insult I've ever read. I'll fucking shove a branch up your fat mom's crusty twat and spin the dumb bitch around till she catches fire you doofy gay bastard. Take your limp-wristed fat ass back to the Wal-Mart glory hole before you come at me with such weak put-downs again.

[glowbelly]

looks like shut up traded in his dictionary for a momma insult book. HOW WILL WE EVER KEEP UP WITH THIS GENIUS JOKESTER?!

[Irwin M. Fletcher]

Blah, blah, blah... pseudo racist statement about "American History X" that I can't believe no one has lashed out against yet... blah, blah, blah...
You = douche.

[MrAdventure]

MAYBE HE SHOULD STICK TO FAT MOM JOKES THAT HE CAN DO WITHOUT A SPECIAL EFFECTS TEAM :rolleyes

[Les Waste]

I bet Shut Up is from Brawl Hall. :(

[slavemason]

Oh, and slavemason, that was the most half-hearted lackluster attempt at an insult I've ever read. I'll fucking shove a branch up your fat mom's crusty twat and spin the dumb bitch around till she catches fire you doofy gay bastard. Take your limp-wristed fat ass back to the Wal-Mart glory hole before you come at me with such weak put-downs again.
I get the feeling you don't like to be corrected but I feel I must. I'm quite skinny. Emaciated even. My wife doesn't like for me to shave my head because she says I like like a concentration camp survivor.
I don't care for Wal-Mart. I can buy beer elsewhere and I can't even find clothes that fit me there (besides being skinny, I'm 6'8". A real Ickabod I am)
As far as all of that other jibberish, well, it's just weak. Go see if you can find Rongi.

[noob3]

http://www.geocities.com/not_noobe/curb.txt

I drew a picture of a curb stomp

[george]

if i can just get this guy over and have him smell my rottweilers butt. she always attacks the cockerspaniel when he does that, so there may be hope for getting rid of this guy doggy style :)

[glowbelly]

noob? you're a great picture pal.

[Spectre X]

"trout slaps own curb stomps"

Yeah fucking right. Trout slaps don't hold shit against a good curb stomping.

"OooOoh I'm going to bounce a fish off your head moderately hard" compared to "I'm going to fucking cave your face in on the side of the street".

Wussy trout slapper..

actually, trout slaps DO own curb stomps. it's all about the humorism involved. you see:

trout slap=absurd
absurd=funny
funny=Monty Python
Monty Python once did a fish slapping dance
ftrout=fish
troutslapping=HILARIOUS.

you see, mr. Shut Up. you, are a moron. a big, fat, greasy, smelly, sweatty, slippery, short, gay, assraped midget, who bares a close resemblance to a brain tumor. and if your brain cannot comprehend this much words, I'll give you a simpler version.


YOU (that means you, Shut Up)= Ronald Reagan's ass.

do you understand now? if not, let your mother read it to you. OK? good. goodbye douchebag.

[Kevin Spacey From KPAX]

Curb stomping? Curious activity. Where I'm from (K-Pax) we get along in peace. It's a planet about 2,000 of your 'light-years' away.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have a beam of light to catch.

[mburbank]

I know this thread is for pointing out what a useless sack of fuck Shut Up is, but I was that last character really worth the time it took to register it?

[Kevin Spacey From KPAX]

our concepts of time are vastly different, earthling.

[mburbank]

oh, yeah. Absolutely worth it. Now do Kevin Spacey from the very end of American Beauty.

[kinot]

Mr. Shut Up, your useless rhetoric makes you sound like a wannabe Winston Smith from our old board... except he knew what the fuck he was talking about and he didn't have to resort to 'big words' to insult someone's ignorance, not stupidity.

(No offense whatsoever to Winston)

[Jixby Phillips]

OMG SHUT UP IS NAMED AFTER A KELLY OSBOURNE ALBUM :x :x :x

[Skulhedface]

The only thing I'll say about it:

1. The curb-stomping in American History X was indeed towards the middle of the movie. In the beginning of the movie, they just showed Edward Norton running downstairs with his gun after, of course, his girl stopped yelling at him. For whatever reason. (if I ever get an I-Mockery title, perhaps it should be Resident Movie Nerd)

2. Curb-Stomping= act of ultra-violence
Trout Slapping= inane act of slapstick humor

It's like comparing apples and oranges (figuratively, for you wiseasses out there). I can't even see why the hell this is being debated.

[slavemason]

It's not really being debated anymore. I think we've all come to the consensus that shut up should do just that.

[Les Waste]

if I ever get an I-Mockery title, perhaps it should be Resident Movie Nerd

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

[Skulhedface]

Now I almost feel like I should've been the movie geek on that Comedy Central show. :lol