your parents have been lying to you

[Geggy]

at how old and how did you find out there was no santa?

when i was 8, i went to see 'gremlins' in theater with my older sister and my cousins. this one part had a girl telling the story about how they found her dad stuck in the chimney, dressed up as santa only wanting to surprise his kids. it turned tragic. then she said 'that's when i knew santa wasn't real.'

2 years later, my mom told me she's been lying to me and there wasn't really any santa. it was only make believe. she asked me if i was sad. i told her that i knew and it was indeedy sad having to watch her lie right at my face the past 2 years.

[Esuohlim]

SANTA IS REAL >:

SHUT UP JERKS

[Drew Katsikas]

LOL GOOD ONE MILHOUSE. PREDICATBLE JOKES ARENT FUNNIER WHEN YOU TYPE THEM IN ALL CAPS . YOU SUCK.

[Esuohlim]

I BELIEVE I TOLD ALL JERKS TO SHUT UP >:

[FartinMowler]

I hope Elousim gets a poke in the eye for christmas.

[HickMan]

I DIDNT SAY NUFFIN.

[Marilyn666]

I never really beleived in santa, besides you can never trust your parents. You don't kneed them. Humans are connected to no one.

[glowbelly]

ho ho ho, santa loves slappers :lol

[Mike]

My family introduced him as a fictional character from the start and told me to tell other kids that he's not real. I tried to win bets with the information but the other kids were too stupid to understand the concept.

[MisSFiT]

:lol
Marylin666 is a ho.

[Esuohlim]

SEX :D

[liquidstatik]

I never really beleived in santa, besides you can never trust your parents. You don't kneed them. Humans are connected to no one.
I bet your parents love you and your hurting their feelings by neglecting them. :(

[Cap'n Crunch]

I HAVE BEEN NICE ALL YEAR SO SNATA BRINGS ME KEWL GIFTS LIKE DBZ BODAKI 2 ON PS2 AND THE NEW DBZ SEASON IT OLNY 100 DLOLARS FOR THE FIRST 5 EPSIODES WOW WAHT A DEAL!

[Mr. Vagiclean]

My parents never bothered even bother to lie, because I am Korean, i saw through it TOO early :/

[DamnthatDavid]

I don't think I ever suddenly just stopped believing in Santa. It was more of a melting away slowly over a period of a year or two.

Same with the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Janet Reno.

[Schimid]

I'VE NEVER, EVER, EVER HEARD THAT JOKE BEFORE. EVER. SERIOUSLY. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME.

[MLE]

:<

[Schimid]

heya buddy ;(

[MLE]

hi! :>

[FS]

JANET RENO!

AHAHAHA DAMN that David!

got any monica lewinsky jokes, or kathie lee gifford

or airline food

[MLE]

that made me lol

[DamnthatDavid]

Go to hell.
There is no such thing as an original joke anymore.
Everthing HAS been used.
Only thing different is the delivery, and the subject.

[Supafly345]

You should hang around more David. See whats 'fresh'. Maybe if you used someone that didn't really exist like Osama then it would have been funny.

I honestly have never heard a joke about airline food. Only talk about them.

[FS]

David.
Shut the fuck up.

Mentioning generic celebrity names like Janet Reno in jokes was never funny. Even Jay Leno needed five years less than you to realize that.

Also, you suck.

P.S. If you so even as hint at making an Osama joke, I will step on your ankles and piece your bellybutton with a knitting needle.

[DamnthatDavid]

OH NO!!! I'm fucking scared. My poor ankles... and...ah...piece, with a knitting needle...

Actually, just imagining this is fucking hilarious.
Little guy walks up. Stands on my ankles.
How the hell does someone stand on ankles?
And stabs me with a large ass needle.
Why would any straight guy be carrying around a knitting needle and not a knife?

[Schimid]

DAMN YOU, DAVID

DAMN YOU!

[EverythingWillSuck]

i never believed in santa :(

[Suck 'n' Fuck]

Your parents are working for the military-industrial complex.

[ziggytrix]

i don't remember, but i think it was around that time that i started to justify lying to them...

[MK IV]

You better Watch out
you better not cry,
you better not pout i'm tellin' you why,

Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town,

He's making a list checkin it twice,
he's gonna find out whos naughty or nice,

Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town,

He sees you when your sleepin'
he knows when your awake,
he knows if you been bad or good
so be good for goodness sake

You better Watch out
you better not cry,
you better not pout i'm tellin' you why,

Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town,


the kids and girls in boyland will have what you believe
there gonna build a toy land all around
the christmas tree.

You better watch out you better
not cry you better not pout i'm tellin' you why

Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming
Santa Claus is coming
he's coming to town

[executioneer]

QUICK SOMEONE MAKE A JOKE ABOUTY HOW SANTA IS LIKE JOHN ASCHROFT :x

-willie

[MK IV]

Why doe's santa have 3 gardens ?

So he can HO ! HO ! HO! >:

[JenMacca]

My parents must of thought I was really fucking stupid because they didn't tell me Santa wasn't real until I was almost 11. Even though I'd long since had figured out he wasn't real anyway. We went over to my grandpa's house every year on Christmas, and he'd dress up as Santa, and when I was 3 (yes, THREE) I went "Dat's not Santa, dat's Papa in red clothes!" and my grandma was like "Oh of course it's Santa honey, why would you say something like that?" "Nuh-uh!! It SMELLS like Papa!!" (cos he always wore this very distinctive cologne)....I don't remember saying all that, but my dad videotaped this all and I've had to watch it, along with every other year's christmas home videos, with the family each year....:-p

Yet.....they waited till I was nearly 11 to tell me Santa wasn't real, but they told me right off the bat that the Tooth Fairy wasn't..... :/

[HickMan]

I THINK DAVIE IS A LITTLE OUT OF HIS LEAUGE, GUYS.

[Marilyn666]

I never really beleived in santa, besides you can never trust your parents. You don't kneed them. Humans are connected to no one.
I bet your parents love you and your hurting their feelings by neglecting them. :(
No, it's actually just something I quoted of an anime show. And how the fuck am I a ho Misfit?

[executioneer]

you shouldn't knee your parents :loll

-willie

[liquidstatik]

OMG WUT SI TEH ANIME TAHT TAKLS ABOUTZ NO SANTA!? :O

[Spectre X]

I was almost still in kindergarten when I learned that the Dutch equivalent of Santa didn't exist. I got my parents in trouble because the teachers wanted to know why I was telling all the other kids who still believed that he wasn't real.

[liquidstatik]

:lol:( You ruined their christmas.

[Matt Harty]

I was in that class >:

[Marilyn666]

You better Watch out
He sees you when your sleepin'
he knows when your awake,
he knows if you been bad or good
so be good for goodness sake

That song means that Santa is stocking you.

[Gurlugon]

Stalking. :(

[AChimp]

My grandma told me that Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy weren't real when I was five. I wasn't really shocked because I was kinda tipped off by yanking the fake beard of the mall Santa half off the previous year. Then I told my brother who was two years younger than me.

It took my parents a few years to realize we didn't believe anymore, because I still got presents marked "From Santa." They still did the whole "money for teeth" thing, though, since that's such a sweet deal for kids. :)

[Lenor]

I learned at a really young age, my parents got divorced after being married for 10 years and then they planned on having me, and started fighting, and when i was about one, they got divorced. So Since my mom was a 'stay at home housewife' and didnt have any expierience, because my dad had a great job and thats how they were brought up. Well anyways when I was about 4 I asked my mom how come santa always brings more presents to dads house than to ours. And she told me that Santa isnt real. I was a pretty smart kid and figured out that Santa was made up to make little kids behave or else they would'nt get any presents. My dad never found out until I was 12 that my mom had allready told me, and sat me down one day to have the 'talk', it ended up pretty funny cause the first line he said was 'Has your mother ever talked to you about why guys pee standing up?' and I started laughing so hard that I told him we had allready learned all that in school 2 years ago and that he might wanna notice a little more. I walked away laughing, and from then on he didnt know what to say to me or how to act around me, especially since I had allready started my period when I was 11.

moral of the story: Divoced parents need to communicate more! Cause mine sure started after that whole thing.

[Spectre X]

:lol :( You ruined their christmas.

No, it's called Sinterklaas here and it's on the 5th instead of the 25th.

I was in that class >:

No, because you're not Dutch.

[Supafly345]

No, it's actually just something I quoted of an anime show. And how the fuck am I a ho Misfit?She was just saying hello in Shakespearian.

[Gurlugon]

My Santa had the same penmanship as my mom: All letters capitalized, with the exception of the occasional lower-cased vowel. :/

[camacazio]

I figured it out around 8 years old and told my parents that I knew. I wasn't going to sink to their level and hide the truth.

[DamnthatDavid]

I THINK DAVIE IS A LITTLE OUT OF HIS LEAUGE, GUYS.

Allow me to lower myself to your level.

I IS COOL!!! YOU ALL SUCK, NOW SUCK MY DICK

[Poxpower]

I never believed/worshipped Santa, but I thought I was an alien until the age of like 7.

[Marilyn666]

No, it's actually just something I quoted of an anime show. And how the fuck am I a ho Misfit?She was just saying hello in Shakespearian.
No, she said " Marilyn is a ho".