who wants to loan me money?

[glowbelly]

i need $1500 by tuesday. seriously. i want to buy my house.

:(

[HickMan]

I have six :( I call the bathroom. >:

[glowbelly]

no >:

[FartinMowler]

Get a credit card.

[glowbelly]

give me yours

[HickMan]

I really don't have any money. But if I did, I think I desirve at least a closet.

[Studio8]

Whats your paypal address?

[glowbelly]

p0lymn1a@hotmail.com

i think.

[FS]

I just got a huge tax return which I'm pretty sure can't be right, and I'm still waiting for them to realize it.

If I help you, will you visit me in jail and bake me a cake with a file in it?

[EverythingWillSuck]

for sex yes

[Geggy]

too bad you blew it all away on the apartment rent :lol

[Evil Robot]

What kind of house are you going to pay for with 1500 dollars? This don't sound right. Nobody "buys" a house for that amount of money.

[glowbelly]

it's a land contract. we need $1500 as a small down payment. the rent for the place will be $800 a month, with $200 of that (along with the initial $1500) going towards a down payment. we get a year to obtain traditional financing. with the $1500 and the extra $200 a month, we will have close to $4000 for the down payment. if we can't obtain traditional financing within that first year, we have a one year extension with the same terms. we can buy out the contract at any time during the first year without any penalties.

it's a damn good deal. the house is a duplex, and we already have someone willing to rent the upstairs. our rent will end up being only $460 a month.

it's so frustrating because it's ONLY $1500. i know to a lot of you that seems like a bunch of money, but it really isn't. i would ask my aunt, but i did the math, and over the course of 5 months, she has shelled out just over $10,000 to me to pay for my schooling and photographic equipment. i don't want to ask her for anymore.

so i have resorted to begging on i-mockery. :(

[Evil Robot]

Whats the name of the company that is granting a land contractract on a property that already has an occupied structure on it? These terms dont make any sense. Land contracts are rarely handed out on what sounds like an unsecured loan. A land contract is ussually only given to reputable contractors under speculation that a house will be worth more then the property it is built on, and I don't think your in any position to build a house.
Please tell me how you plan on getting financing as I'm working on getting a NYS real estate license but I've never heared of this combination of terms.

edit: what state are you in most importantly. You might be able to get a grant from the federal govt. for buying property if your agent knows what he/she is doing.

[glowbelly]

ohio.

we are friends with the current owners and they are looking to dump the property because it is costing them too much money.

the house needs a lot of work, but my boyfriend is a carpenter and can do most of it himself. we are going to try to obtain traditional financing asap, so we can do updates to the house that will increase the value of the home, while it's OURS, not THEIRS.

[Evil Robot]

OK, Ive seen many poeple in your position that "were freinds" with the seller. Judging by the fact that there is talk of a land grant involved tells me that the seller has not had an agent involved yet and they probably read one of those stupid "real estate for dummies" books. Problem being, your about to put a great deal of money into contract with someone who may or may not know what it takes to sell a house.
1) Just because you know the person does not place the terms of the contract in your favor.
2)They wan't you to find a financing company on your own. This is something that the agent should be doing for you since these companies will not (and have never) taken one time buyers seriously. You can expect to pay 2 to 5 percent more on your APR if there is no broker to negotiate for you. (Brokers know these people on a first name basis, you don't).
3) You are not getting a land grant. Theres a big difference between a mortage and a land grant. Land grants are based on the reputation of the company to be building the house. You are not a developer and you are not building the house.

The point I am trying to construe is that just because your landlord owns the place does not give them the ability to make a contract (that requires a lawyer to certify that the terms are legal).
From what Iv'e read is that your landlord wants you to start putting money into a down payment BEFORE you have an actual mortgage. The fact that you are freinds with your landlord indicates to me that they do not yet know that this is considered fraud (the down payment can only be decided by a financing corp.). You cannot make a down payment when the APR has not yet been established.



So, in conclusion, yer gonna get ripped off. Get a real estate agent NOW.

[glowbelly]

he IS a real estate agent :)

[Suck 'n' Fuck]

Whore yourself out to a thousand fat chicks for $15 each.

You could also whore yourself out to 15 really fat chicks for $1000 each.

What? Don't like at me like that.

[Evil Robot]

he IS a real estate agent
Then you should ak him why this is being considered a land grant. (Is this house shceduled for destruction!!!!????)

There is a chance that I may be wrong about this (not likely) but a land grant is a mortgage for speculation. (i.e. the house ain't built yet)
Please let me know if I'm wrong because that is a test question.

[glowbelly]

it's not a land grant, honeycakes. it's a land contract.

[glowbelly]

psst:

http://www.investorwords.com/2716/land_contract.html

[Evil Robot]

OK, I got he terminolgy wrong (I haven't got my license yet, OOPS!) But one thing I do know is that no real estate agent may sell property that that agent currently owns. This is a grave conflict of interest.
You should really consider consulting a third party agent to make sure that giving your agent a down payment in the form of a monthly payment is legal. I say this since in the event you cannot aquire a mortgage, you would want to get your down payment back. But since your living in the place at the same time, this down payment would be considered rent and non refundable.
Basicaly, you are trying to buy a house in the reverse order that most poeple would go about it and your leaving yourself open to loose a lot of money if you can't get financing (I doubt that but it's always a possibility). I just don't wan't to see you loose all the money you could have spent on a different house.

[glowbelly]

i hear ya, but we have 2 years to get the financing and i know that we'll get it.

so what about that $1500?

[Evil Robot]

so what about that $1500?
Obviously you never made a collect call...
1-800-COLLECT only costs a dollar for the first minute! Thats 1500 calls you can hang up on after 59 seconds and call again for another 1499 times!

[glowbelly]

ok shut up and give me your money >:

[Command Prompt]

Credit Card? Are you an idiot? Who the fuck borrows money at 20 to 28% intrest?

LINE OF CREDIT YOU SHMOE. >:

[Protoclown]

I'd love to help you Karen but I am poor :(

[glowbelly]

but the economy is booming >:

thanks, genuii. you're a pal.

[Dole]

I too am skint as a bastid unfortunately. Good luck with it Karen!

:| Evil Robot is i-mockery's 'wackiest estate agent in training' for the month of December '02 :|

[glowbelly]

it's 2003, lurvely. :lol

[Dole]

I was using the metric calendar :posh

[FartinMowler]

I think it's better to rent until you can make a safe good down payment on a home that has no strings attached. As the old people are now dieing off there will be a huge open market of older homes that will be cheap.

[glowbelly]

i'm willing to bet, that THIS is exactly why nobody has asked you to think before.

[Supafly345]

Yeah, thats why the market has been so bad before these last couple of years. The old people weren't dying off.

Babyboomers got 20 more years till they die off.

[Buffalo Tom]

Sorry, g. I'm still paying off various loans and shit, plus saving for grad school.

[Lotida]

Begging for money on a messageboard is the most low class, trashy thing I have ever seen. :rolleyes You give new meaning to the word SKANKY BITCH! >:

[glowbelly]

you must not have any mirrors in your house, cuntitty.

i've gotten the money, by the way.

and just to inform you...IT WAS A JOKITY JOKE. i wouldn't expect anyone on here to dish out $1500 to me, even those people i know personally and consider frens.

now get back in your 11 page thread and STAY there like a good little doggy.

[FS]

I heard a meteor fell on Lotida's house and someone wrote "stupid cunt" on it.

[FartinMowler]

http://community.webshots.com/s/cache1/couploads/105956513.jpg.tmp?171

My house >:

[Supafly345]

It is really generous to donate your house, but I think Glowbelly is already set.
Make sure to be a little quicker next time.

[Lotida]

you must not have any mirrors in your house, cuntitty.

i've gotten the money, by the way.

and just to inform you...IT WAS A JOKITY JOKE. i wouldn't expect anyone on here to dish out $1500 to me, even those people i know personally and consider frens.

now get back in your 11 page thread and STAY there like a good little doggy.

Surely you can think of a more original put down you skanky white trash bitch! :)

[Anonymous]

:):):):):)!!!!

[ziggytrix]

:yum

[kellychaos]

When felines are a-fightin' me heart swells with lust.

[Matt Harty]

you must not have any mirrors in your house, cuntitty.

i've gotten the money, by the way.

and just to inform you...IT WAS A JOKITY JOKE. i wouldn't expect anyone on here to dish out $1500 to me, even those people i know personally and consider frens.

now get back in your 11 page thread and STAY there like a good little doggy.

Surely you can think of a more original put down you skanky white trash bitch! :)

Saying skanky white trash bitch is original. :) Now be good and get back to the thread as your told.

[Lotida]

Saying skanky white trash bitch is original. :) Now be good and get back to the thread as your told.

You are so lame and pathetic you can't even think of your own insults.....you have to copy hers!! >:

Shouldn't you be out sucking somewhere to earn her that $1,500?

[HickMan]

I THOUGHT YOU LEFT. >:

[Matt Harty]

you can't even think of your own insults.....

I'm not, i'm telling you to do what your told. Only because it's a good idea. :)

[Jixby Phillips]

Lotida, you are one of the most dispicable, ugly human beings that I have ever seen on this board.

[glowbelly]

you are so NOT original, jerksbee >:

[Rongi]

You could have my house...and my roommate...please :(

[glowbelly]

i get the house...TOMORROW.

[MLE]

you must not have any mirrors in your house, cuntitty.

i've gotten the money, by the way.

and just to inform you...IT WAS A JOKITY JOKE. i wouldn't expect anyone on here to dish out $1500 to me, even those people i know personally and consider frens.

now get back in your 11 page thread and STAY there like a good little doggy.

Surely you can think of a more original put down you skanky white trash bitch! :)


i thought "cuntitty" was original enough. :(

[glowbelly]

motherfucker backed out of the deal. i get no house. i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this man.

merry stupid christmas >:

[Daphne]

Don't listen to stupid ol' Pam. We all love you.

I guess she came back from that 'movie' with her 'husband' in a foul mood :rolleyes

[Suck 'n' Fuck]

motherfucker backed out of the deal. i get no house. i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this man.

merry stupid christmas >:

You should have listened to Evil Robot. He's a lot smarter than he looks, yet stupid enough to think that's a compliment.

[Supafly345]

Now from whom did you steal that phrase? You sure were dying to use it, so much that you had to settle on such a poor useage of it.

[Lotida]

Don't listen to stupid ol' Pam. We all love you.

I guess she came back from that 'movie' with her 'husband' in a foul mood :rolleyes

Hey Daftny...your back!!

I've missed you!! :)

Sincerely,
Pam

[Krythor]

Please don't use Kellychaos jokes.

Thanks.

[Lotida]

When something fits....you just have to go with it!

Thank you!

[UP_SHUT]

Why can't Lotida just die? :(

[Lotida]

Why? Is reading this taking away from your mock wrestling thread? :rolleyes

[Jixby Phillips]

Because you're shit :lol

[thebiggameover]

motherfucker backed out of the deal. i get no house. i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this man.

merry stupid christmas >:

Why did he back out?

[Matt Harty]

Because you're shit :lol

[glowbelly]

he backed out because he is a money hungry poo head who i hate.

he ruined christmas :(

[kellychaos]

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch!

[glowbelly]

we think he's trying to get more money out of us, but it's not going to work. >:

supposedly some lady offered him something like $8000 down and she has until next friday to come up with it. if she does, we're gonna stay here so we can save more of our money and find our own place. if she doesn't, we might still end up buying this place.

it would be really stupid for us to move if the place sells to a different person. the rent is only $300 a month and all we have to pay for is our electric and phone. i don't think this person realizes that the gas line isn't split, so legally she can't charge us for heat, even though it's a double. she also doesn't realize that when we do move, we are taking all of our stuff with us, which includes: 2 52" ceiling fans, all of the blinds, the bathroom hardware (towel rack, toilet paper holder, etc...) and 4 shelves in the living room. we put that stuff in ourselves. WE ARE NOT LEAVING IT. :)

[kellychaos]

Methinks a good time to review your renter's rights for your state in case Mr. Grinch tries somethin' sneakidy. :)

[glowbelly]

done and done.

we reviewed them when we moved in and he tried to charge us for the gas in this place. i was like, ummmmmmmmmmmm, NO WAY JOSE. >:

same with the water bill. i'm not paying to heat this whole house if i don't own it and there's no way to tell how much gas we use and how much gas the downstairs unit uses unless the line is split.