PLEASE EXPLAIN [Archive] - I-Mockery Forum

OperationScuzBucket

Dec 21st, 2003, 05:04 PM

NEED INSIGHT INTO THE MALE MENTALITY HERE...

Why would a guy who just wants to get into a girl's pants and fake a relationship ask a girl out who he knew full-well plans to stay a virgin until marriage?! And on top of that call her 5 times a day "just to talk"?!?!

IT MAKES NO SENSE >:

Please...enlighten me.

Anonymous

Dec 21st, 2003, 05:08 PM

Because reports suggest that having sex is better than masturbating.

MisSFiT

Dec 21st, 2003, 10:16 PM

Because he wants to be the one to try and change her mind and de-virginize her.

That way his insecurities fade and he can feel more like a man.
Oh and to tell all his friends he banged a virgin.

Big McLargehuge

Dec 21st, 2003, 10:34 PM

because he has a penis

Big McLargehuge

Dec 21st, 2003, 10:35 PM

and most people who have peni are men

Suck 'n' Fuck

Dec 21st, 2003, 10:41 PM

If you intend to be a virgin until you're married, then how come you made a thread about how to give blowjobs?

Heh, I said "come."

Oh, wait. That was someone else. I checked. The thread starter's name was in the title of the BJ thread. That must be why I got all mixed up.

OperationScuzBucket

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:06 AM

yeah actually that was me

BJs and sex are not the same thing, silly! >:

Cap'n Crunch

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:08 AM

FUCK THAT DON'T GET MARRIED TO HER IT'S LIKE A DEATH TRAP AM I RIGHT BUBBA? LOLZ

Urban2

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:14 AM

BECAUSE HE WANTS HER TO HAVE FUN WITH HIS BRROOMSTICK! :wank

Cap'n Crunch

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:20 AM

STOP FUCKING COPYING ME YOU CUNT >:

OperationScuzBucket

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:21 AM

FUCK THAT DON'T GET MARRIED TO HER IT'S LIKE A DEATH TRAP AM I RIGHT BUBBA? LOLZ

Yes...I have a nasty habit of I luring men to me to spin them in my web then eat them and dispose of the carcass in the dumpster at the park near my house...but keep that on the dl, kej? :)

Urban2

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:21 AM

:wank :x

Sorry sir, I didn't mean to offend you. Above is a picture of an emoticon wanking on another.

Brandon

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:38 AM

Because he wants to be the one to try and change her mind and de-virginize her.

That way his insecurities fade and he can feel more like a man.
Oh and to tell all his friends he banged a virgin.
Bingo.

Suck 'n' Fuck

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:38 AM

If you blow them, you might as well fuck them.

Brandon

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:41 AM

If you blow them, you might as well fuck them.
Agreed.

Royal Tenenbaum

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:52 AM

Maybe he's actually fallen in love with her. You can't really control who you fall in love with, and unfortunately, a really horny pervert may fall in love with someone that wants to be a virgin until they're married. Shit happens.

Suck 'n' Fuck

Dec 22nd, 2003, 01:19 AM

If you blow them, you might as well fuck them.
Agreed.
To the power of X.

Suck 'n' Fuck

Dec 22nd, 2003, 01:25 AM

Dec 22nd, 2003, 11:04 AM

Because, he doesn't respect your resolution. Duh.

Women, guard your virtue! >:

Anonymous

Dec 22nd, 2003, 11:43 AM

Despite what you hear from the liberal media, men do like sex.

CaptainBubba

Dec 22nd, 2003, 12:45 PM

FUCK THAT DON'T GET MARRIED TO HER IT'S LIKE A DEATH TRAP AM I RIGHT BUBBA? LOLZ

If she wasn't my sister. And she was hot. And I didn't already sort of have a girlfriend. I would totally rape that shit.

I'm not fucking kidding. Note the lack of caps.

ScruU2wice

Dec 22nd, 2003, 01:30 PM

the sweetest thing a brother could say...

now you don't have to get her a christmas present :)

AChimp

Dec 22nd, 2003, 06:12 PM

Blowjobs lead to sex. If you didn't want him to bug you about sex, you shouldn't have spread your lips for him, sister. >:

Brandon

Dec 22nd, 2003, 06:51 PM

Blowjobs lead to sex. If you didn't want him to bug you about sex, you shouldn't have spread your lips for him, sister. >:
AMEN. :rock

Helm

Dec 22nd, 2003, 08:22 PM

I think it's about time there was a purifying firestorm to cleanse the world of all INSTANCES OF WOMAN

haha I made a programmer joke. Nerd.

MisSFiT

Dec 22nd, 2003, 09:26 PM

BlueOatmeal

Dec 22nd, 2003, 09:28 PM

I doubt it. But my penis has never been around any of the many holes a girl has to offer. So maybe I would be happy with that. I guess it all depends on if the guys gets teh secks often.

Supafly345

Dec 22nd, 2003, 11:02 PM

Blowjobs lead to sex. If you didn't want him to bug you about sex, you shouldn't have spread your lips for him, sister. >:

That is VERY true.

But also, if a girl was to give you a bj and you "got off" would you be satisfied anough to be content with that and not have sex?No, that is not true. Men can be satisfied with being topped, without the overwhelming desire to go the rest of the way. The pattern of sex isn't a warm-up knob polishing before hopping into the sack, how active is the guy going to be then (except if they are under 25)?
Unless you are talking about the gradual progression to sex in a healthey relationship. And that is just stupid. You talk about it like sex is an inevitable thing, that has a life of its own and cannot be controlled. You can hop around head-bobs and hand-jobs forever if you wanted to, nothing is forcing you to progress further. It takes a concious decision to progress.

Besides, he doesn't know how good the sex is with that particular person, so they don't know what they're missing.

AChimp

Dec 23rd, 2003, 12:34 AM

If you're so experienced, why are you posting on an Intarweb message board, huh? >:

MisSFiT

Dec 23rd, 2003, 12:36 AM

I can see what you are saying too.

But, when you are getting a couple of months worth of bj's aren't you going to wonder when the next step is going to come?

Most people see head as foreplay, leading to sex.
Including me and I'm a girl.

Supafly345

Dec 23rd, 2003, 01:59 AM

If you're so experienced, why are you posting on an Intarweb message board, huh? >:Maybe if the two were related I would have an answer for that.

AChimp

Dec 23rd, 2003, 09:40 AM

Posting takes up valuable sex time, champ. >:

Supafly345

Dec 23rd, 2003, 10:12 AM

I can do both at the same time you know, slugger.

AChimp

Dec 23rd, 2003, 10:41 AM

Masturbating isn't sex. :(

Royal Tenenbaum

Dec 23rd, 2003, 12:33 PM

It's sex with someone you love.

Snatchtastic

Dec 23rd, 2003, 12:44 PM

Like making love to a bowl of pudding :lol

rainbowbrite

Feb 3rd, 2004, 11:54 AM

i was gonna say apple pie but that would have been stupid and fucked up..("hint hint"...that movie was a gay as they come) :suicide

Command Prompt

Feb 3rd, 2004, 12:00 PM

Blowjobs only lead to sex in PORN. :(

Terra

Feb 3rd, 2004, 01:53 PM

Like making love to a bowl of pudding :lol

And "There's ALWAYS room for Jello."

T

da blob

Feb 3rd, 2004, 08:25 PM

BJs and sex are not the same thing, silly! >:

What a load of BS.
Virginity isn't a physical attribute, it's in your mind. And getting married without any sort of beforehand training is a sure reciepe for disappointment. Or adultery. Or both.

Go suck dick and pretend it's not sex, next step you'll get your ass rammed and pretend you're still a virgin.
D'uh.

Terra

Feb 4th, 2004, 10:21 AM

Bull.

You can have sex and STILL be a virgin but when you have sexual intercourse, you can consider that cherry officially "hit."

It's all a matter of voltage. Some fucktards don't even know when they've been "hit."

It's alot like putting a frog in a boiling pot of water. If you toss a frog in a pot of boiling water, it'll jump right out. If you put the frog into a pot of tepid water, it'll stay there. If you slowly turn up the heat the stupid thing will stay in the pot until it's cooked.

It's like sex. Two people can diddle each other and think they aren't having it and before they know it,* somebody* isn't the same way as when they started out.

It officially ends with the popping of the bud. But up until then, technically, they are still a "noob."

da blob

Feb 4th, 2004, 11:06 AM

The keyword here is *technically* - I don't consider virginity to be anything like a technical thing. Of course you can, as in the blowing of the "ring" thing, but I-personnally-myself (see?) believe it's fooling oneself.
In some northern African countries young wives are required to show the blood stains on their sheets to their family the morning after, so, to remain "technical virgins" sodomy is a standard practise for girls before marriage. Would you call them virgins ? How sick is that ?

Virginity is in one's mind. Besides, considering one's body attribute as a "gift" and not something you own yourself is a proof of a submissive attitude toward men that makes me barf.
(you are allowed to call me a rabid feminist)

Cosmo Electrolux

Feb 4th, 2004, 11:18 AM

I'm guessing that you're not a virgin.....so you're damaged goods.

BlueOatmeal

Feb 4th, 2004, 11:51 AM

How many rabid feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Hugh_Bristic

Feb 4th, 2004, 06:37 PM

It's alot like putting a frog in a boiling pot of water. If you toss a frog in a pot of boiling water, it'll jump right out. If you put the frog into a pot of tepid water, it'll stay there. If you slowly turn up the heat the stupid thing will stay in the pot until it's cooked.

Miss Tara, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[/quote]

Terra

Feb 4th, 2004, 09:46 PM

There. See? :)

I knew if I made some half assed stabs at pissing in the wind, somebody would jump in and correct me with intelligence, grace, and decorum. Good points you two!

Now we can resume with our regularly scheduled program of pud gobbling and back door plowing. :)

Tara

Comrade Rocket

Feb 5th, 2004, 12:15 AM

It's sex with someone you love.

WOODY ALLEN :lol

Sam

Feb 5th, 2004, 12:19 AM

http://img16.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/woody.jpg

maggiekarp

Feb 5th, 2004, 01:29 AM

BJs count.

And let's face it, you can't really go around thinking yourself as an untainted flower once you blow someone. But you can still be a virgin in the vagina-sense.

da blob

Feb 5th, 2004, 03:18 PM

I'm guessing that you're not a virgin.....so you're damaged goods.

Moreso than you'd think - however it has absolutely *nothing* to do with any foreign pieces of flesh entering my genital opening.