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View Full Version : A Dog's Rules for Christmas!


Jixby Phillips
Dec 22nd, 2003, 08:18 PM
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
- Don't pee on the tree
- Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree
- Mind your tail when you are near the tree
- If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open
- Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
- Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
- Don't eat off the buffet table
- Beg for goodies subtly
- Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa
- Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
- Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important)
- Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house
- Tolerate children
- Turn on your charm big time

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!!

Anonymous
Dec 22nd, 2003, 08:57 PM
lol, that's great! :) I'm going to post that on all my e-mail lists :)

Evil Robot
Dec 22nd, 2003, 09:02 PM
What about the Jewish dogs?

Anonymous
Dec 22nd, 2003, 09:04 PM
hahah! good point! :) i bet rule #1 would be don't knock over the menorah!! :lol

Krythor
Dec 22nd, 2003, 09:05 PM
what about cats? :)

Matt Harty
Dec 22nd, 2003, 09:37 PM
They sleep the whole time :)

Jixby Phillips
Dec 22nd, 2003, 10:24 PM
remember, it's santa CLAUS, not santa CLAWS :b

Schimid
Dec 22nd, 2003, 10:29 PM
for those getting presents for their dogs i hasve a few suggestions

http://www.goma.demon.co.uk/christmas/stick.gif

a stick is good (but you dont have to wrap it)

MLE
Dec 22nd, 2003, 10:31 PM
:o

Ghost of Fraiser
Dec 22nd, 2003, 11:16 PM
http://www.angelfire.com/apes2/spookers/stew.gif

Evil Robot
Dec 22nd, 2003, 11:27 PM
Stop making fun of black people.

Ghost of Fraiser
Dec 23rd, 2003, 02:13 PM
I don't make fun of black people
I make fun for black people

Rongi
Dec 23rd, 2003, 02:16 PM
:)

Matt Harty
Dec 23rd, 2003, 02:16 PM
:)

HickMan
Dec 23rd, 2003, 02:18 PM
I won't ruin this thread :(.

JenMacca
Dec 23rd, 2003, 02:21 PM
LOL!! That's great!! :D *is gonna post this in a couple other groups I'm in*

And as for the cats.....not ALL cats sleep through it. (My current one probably will though. Lazy bum. :-p) My first two kitties took immense pleasure on chewing on the lower braches of the tree...and obviously, any of you who have ever had cats that eat a plant of just about any sort, knows this leads to them pretty much puking their guts up a few minutes later. They also would knock ornaments off the tree and play with them....*hisses* BAD CAT! The fatter of the two cats also always would manage to climb under the tree once the presents got put there, fall asleep on some in the back, and then be too stupid to figure out how to get back out again :LOL

mburbank
Dec 23rd, 2003, 02:32 PM
Those are the same as my rules for JIXBY for Christmas!!!

Jixby Phillips
Dec 23rd, 2003, 09:47 PM
I told these rules to my dogs and they looked at me like I was crazy!! :lol

Mike P
Dec 23rd, 2003, 09:52 PM
What about the Jewish dogs?

Are Jewish dogs circumcised?

Jixby Phillips
Dec 23rd, 2003, 10:22 PM
Hey compared to being neutered it isn't that bad! :lol

Studio8
Dec 23rd, 2003, 11:51 PM
A WOO WOOO WOOOOO