Masturbating in the living room....

[Alphonse]

Always check to see if someone is there. I started fapping and then heard this snore. It was my mom sleeping on the couch. Scared the fuck out of me.

[Schimid]

That's not an issue for me, my penis doesn't make birdcalls.

[Alphonse]

Good, that'd be freaky.

[Schimid]

FAPFAPFAPFAP >:

[Alphonse]

Take pictures.

[Schimid]

I'm done explaining myself :/

[Supafly345]

What exactly are you doing to make that noise.

[liquidstatik]

His penis is making birdcalls.

[Jixby Phillips]

One time I jerked off in my bedroom, while my friend Eddie was over for a sleep over :eek

I was out of tissues and had to roll out of bed and wipe my dick on a san jose sharks pillow. I threw the pillow away in the morning.

[agroskaterik]

Was he sleeping on it?

[Studio8]

One time I was sleeping in my bed while this guy Brett that I barely knew was leaning against my bed masturbating to a Jerry Springer Too Hot for TV tape. He was real surprised when I asked him why he was doing it.

[camacazio]

Why do people masturbate? :confused

[executioneer]

do vegans eat eggs?

-willie

[MK IV]

No and there only allowed soy milk. :)

[Suck 'n' Fuck]

Why do people masturbate? :confused
Because they're too lazy to suck their own dicks.

[Esuohlim]

YEAH 'CAUSE THAT'S NOT MASTURBATING AT ALL WTG.

[SMN]

I must say that wanking off is a privlege, not a right. I'ts self explanatory as to why .

[bigtimecow]

kakaw kakaw