ABSOLUT? NO! NOT ACCORDING TO THIS GUY!

[Mockery]

The following letter is in response to http://www.i-mockery.com/absolut/metallica.htm :

Date: 1/2/2004 4:05:43 AM

Absolut Ads Contact Form Has been submitted by:

Name:........... Chase
E-Mail:......... tippmannsniper187@yahoo.com

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Comments/Questions/Ad Suggestions:
HOW DARE YOU PUT METALLICA UP ON YOUR MOCKARY SITE! YOUR DUMBASS SPELLED ABSOLUTE WRONG! WHY DONT YOU GET YOUR JEALOUS SPACE NERD-ASS OUT OF YOUR MOMS HOUSE AND GO DO SOMETHIN PRODUCTIVE LIKE JUMP OFF A ROOF.TAKE THIS SITE AND STICK IT. ABSOLUTE GREED? WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU. YOUR PROBABLY 42 YEARS OLD, IN YOUR MOMS HOUSE, CHECKIN OUT GUYS CAUSE YOUR TOO MUCH OF A REJECT TO GET A GIRL. UP YOURS ASSHOLE!!
-Chase
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[camacazio]

You just got your ass handed to you.

[Mockery]

Dude, I know! "Do something productive like jump off a roof" ... man, I totally didn't see that one coming. I'm out for the count. I should've known better than to mess with the champ.

[Anonymous]

Well, you did spell 'absolute' incorrectly.

[pjalne]

HOW DARE YOU PUT METALLICA UP ON YOUR MOCKARY SITE! YOUR DUMBASS SPELLED ABSOLUTE WRONG!

This is good.

[ProfessorCool]

I bet 20 dollars Chase is not his real name.

[Anonymous]

I'd watch out, man. He's a sniper.

Who will get a 187 called.

Provided you're a cop.

And he snipes you.

[Esuohlim]

You really crossed the line there, making fun of Metallica and everything. I mean, Jesus Christ...

http://www.geocities.com/esuohlim/lol.txt

[James]

See, this is why I'm a racist.

[Retro Man]

i just love hate mail, don't you? :lol

[James]

Please share with us your reply, in which you calmly tell him it's spelled "Mockery," and that "Absolut" is a brand name of vodka, which we would know if he were even relatively old enough to know what alcohol was.

Then thank him for agreeing that Metallica are greedy, untalented, washed up dipshits, and for being a fan of the site. This will confuse and enrage him, and he will go to school on Monday, telling all his friends during recess about how he totally ripped into this "famous guy on the internet." To which they will roll their eyes and peg him in the face with a dodgeball.

[The Retro Kat]

I bet 20 dollars Chase is not his real name.

I bet his real name is "Bruno" or "Lanth" or "Vinth" or "Sir Niglet"

[Supafly345]

I swear I used to get threatened by this guy in highschool.

[ScruU2wice]

HOW DARE YOU PUT METALLICA UP ON YOUR MOCKARY SITE! YOUR DUMBASS SPELLED ABSOLUTE WRONG!

that was the best line out of it all :lol

[HickMan]

He's a paintball sniper, too! :eek
Watch your ass, Rog. Your head might turn pink in the next couple of days :(

[Jeanette X]

I don't get the Hugh Hefner "pedophile" ad.

Was there some kind of scandal that I missed?