i quit smoking today (again)

[george]

i am pretty sure it is going to stick this time.

i am just sick of it. at this point i am actually ashamed of myself when i smoke.

sigh.

it sucks right now but i need my money to fund my admission to clown college.

[Pee Wee Herman]

Whenever you feel like smoking a cigarette, smoke a joint instead.

[george]

what kind of advice is that pee wee?

it is corrosive, and not at all in keeping with the spirit of pride week.

[Studio8]

I wish the word smoking was replaced with posting.

[Pee Wee Herman]

Whenever you feel like posting a cigarette, post a joint instead.

[george]

he meant to say he wished joint was replaced by pole.

cause he could really get into smoking pole.

yupper.

[Pee Wee Herman]

You mean pot.

[george]

no i am pretty sure that dude could get into smoking pole pee wee.

[Immortal Goat]

I wish the word smoking was replaced with posting.

Does anybody like you? Just curious. :/

[ted-core]

do you have anything thats going to replace smoking? Like the patch or the gum or anything?

[george]

i carry a little notebook with me and write short stories about how much i want to kill the people in my immediate area until the nicotine fits pass.

sort of, but i have been writing a little bit at a time during the periods that i normally smoke.

by the time i am 59 i will complete a very short novel.

[Pee Wee Herman]

A novel about killing people?

[george]

and being sexy.

a novel all about killing people and being sexy.

[ted-core]

dude how can you go wrong with a novel about killing and being sexy... its gonna be #1 on the new york times best seller list.

[Immortal Goat]

I'd buy it. :(

[Pee Wee Herman]

Does the novel involve anal sex with prositutes, and the killing the prositutes?

[george]

sure.

and there will be a monkey and a pony. cause nothing says sexy young girls like a pony, and monkeys CAN shoot guns.

[Pee Wee Herman]

Are the monkeys shooting ray guns?

[ted-core]

this pony... will it have any kind of magical powers... like, oh I dunno lazer eyes or fire breath or something? Because that would be pretty cool.

[george]

armalites, ray guns are for my gay sci fi sex novel "homo space captain david"

[sadie]

i'm going to type this out just for you, george. i started reading welcome to the monkey house, kurt vonnegut's collection of short stories (1968), today. this is from the preface. i quit smoking a couple months ago.

My sister smoked too much. My father smoked too much. My mother smoked too much. I smoke too much. My brother used to smoke too much, and then he gave it up, which was a miracle on the order of the loaves and fishes.

And one time a pretty girl came up to me at a cocktail party, and she asked me, "What are you doing these days?"

"I am committing suicide by cigarette," I replied.

She thought that was reasonably funny. I didn't. I thought it was hideous that I should scorn life that much, sucking away on cancer sticks. My brand is Pall Mall. The authentic suicides ask for Pall Malls. The dilettantes ask for Pell Mells.

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

keep it up George. I quit smoking 6 years ago....if I can do it, anyone can.

[PonchtheJedi]

Ted-core, your avatar is fanfuckingtastic.

[McClain]

How bizarre Georgy... I quit today, too. I tried yesterday, but someone gave me a cigarette and I didn’t say no.

I tried quitting about 7 months ago and I did a stellar job at first. I hadn't purchased a pack in quite some time and I managed to puff a grit only once in a great while. The craving for them had almost dwindled... Then I drove across country all by myself. Remember the scene in Casino when Sam Rothstein goes to meet Nicky Santoro in the desert and he's smoking a cigarette? Ever since I saw that movie I wanted to smoke a cigarette in the desert. So while I was driving south on the 15, about an hour outside of Vegas, I took a side road and drove for about 5 miles - far enough to get me away from the highway and any civilization. I got out of my truck, grabbed a cigarette and lit up. It was fucking amazing and it was everything I imagined it would be.

Since then my smoking increased and I've decided I need to quit again. It's definitely harder this time.

[mburbank]

You know who just quit smoking? David Koresh.

Seriously, he was on fire for a very long time.



He's been actively burning since that joke was topical. Hanukah only lasted eight days, Koresh burned for, what is this now, 2004? That's long time. I think his religous claims should be re-examined in the light of his not prepetual, but certainly long lasting flame.

On another front, I would totally read a gay sci fi novel with a monkey and a pony in it.

[Evil Robot]

I know a guy who quit smoking pot. He now does H and C at the same time and has no money for a new car despite his high paying job. But the important thing is that he does not "do pot". He does however smoke cigarettes (after doing H and C).

[Pee Wee Herman]

But the important thing is that he does not "do pot".
"DOING POT" IS A BIG NO NO!!!!

[FartinMowler]

I was getting chest pains so I quit. I don't have chest pains anymore so I guess that means I don't get to die of cancer...yet.

[ted-core]

Ted-core, your avatar is fanfuckingtastic.

muchos gracias.

[FartinMowler]

Ted-core is Rongi :/

[sadie]

mcclain, what about the baby? :(

[Mr. Vagiclean]

I am sure this board will help me ravage an addiction of anykind that i will come across. Too fucking addicting this is :(

[mburbank]

Mcclains baby smoke two packs a day

[Cosmo Electrolux]

and has an anchor tattoo on it's little arm....

[McClain]

To be honest, the baby isn't affected by my actions. She packed her shit a few days ago and we haven't seen her since. We found a trail of mustard-seedy-shit streaks on the pavement behind our patio, so we're thinking she's back there somewhere. I heard that babies can survive off of barbecue grease drippings for a few days? That and certain types of grass provide nutrition? Whatever she has to do, I'm sure she'll survive.

[mburbank]

Feral kids are the best kids

[Pee Wee Herman]

The best thing about feral kids is that you can ignore them for a few days, thus giving you more free time.

[FartinMowler]

I didn't know what a feral kid was so I looked it up :/


Deprived of social contact
Children have been kept in confinement in cellars, dog kennels, pigsties and even hen houses. In these conditions of deprivation, they've been unable to experience normal influences during their formative years, with an often profound effect on their development.

Dog-children
Some of the children in this list did spend time in the company of animals, usually dogs but also pigs and hens. Sometimes this is because the children were confined in a kennel, yard or even apartment where the animals lived. However, it would be stretching a point to claim that the child was brought up by the animals

[sadie]

she's really chained up in the closet, isn't she? :(