What are the controls fer Nester?

[ultra perfect cell]

Hi, UPC again. I was wondering what the controls are for thes Nester emulator. If you could tell me, that would be great.

[EverythingWillSuck]

i don't know :lol

[Emu]

Go to controllers and configure them...

[Mockery]

I believe the default controls are usually set as:

[ = select
] = start
, = a
. = b

[ultra perfect cell]

Thanks, Mockery. You da man! :)

[ultra perfect cell]

Wait a fuckin second! I just tried those controls and they didn't work. WTF is the deal?! Check and see if you made a mistake. It's the emulator I downloaded from this site to play the Friday the 13th game. Me and my best friend, Zach, say thanks. We wanna play it like frickin' hell.

[Gurlugon]

Just button-mash until you figure it out. >:

[ultra perfect cell]

:fu

[ultra perfect cell]

Message from Zach: fuck you ya ho! suck my large hairy penis, mofo! What button is start, a and b, you little bastard! Please do this for me or I will kill you. Message from UPC: My friend is a little pissed. :)

[Schimid]

Hi, UPC again. I was wondering what the controls are for thes Nester emulator. If you could tell me, that would be great.

Dude, this is the exact same thing he did when he first got here.

Your character is running out of steam >:

[Anonymous]

Message from Dr. Boogie: The others will dance around the issue, but here's the truth: if you can't figure out the buttons on Nester, you are a fucking retard. You and your friend.

[ultra perfect cell]

Message from Zach and UPC:FUCK YOU YA GOD DAMN FUCKING BITCH ASSHOLE TOILET BASTARD MUTHA FUCKERS! SUCK OUR DICKS! That is all.

[soundtest]

http://www.geocities.com/guail0/hand.txt

[McClain]

What is that? World Heroes or sumpin'? IF SO, I AM THE MU'FUCKIN MAN!

[soundtest]

world heroes perfect :posh

[Rongi]

That game was the worst fighter ever :(

[Emu]

Even with the combined intellects of Zach and Ultra Perfect Cell, the dark titan that was the Nester emulator still managed to kick their asses, and hard. But then, the Great Wizard Emu appeared and gave simple, Pop Tart box style instructions to get the two brave adventurers through this mess:

1. Find the icon for the Nester emulator.

2. Gently grab hold of the small grey thing sitting next to your keyboard.

3. When you move the small grey thing, henceforth referred to as a mouse, notice that the arrow shaped object on the computer screen, called a pointer, will also move.

4. Slowly move your pointer over the Nester icon.

5. Push the LEFT button on the mouse twice in succession.

6. Don't get freaked out when a small window on the screen appears. At the top, it should say "nester." If it says "Microsoft Word" or "Dad's Porn Stash," you're in the wrong place. Start over from step 1.

7. Find the small button in the bottom left corner of the keyboard marked "CTRL." Gently push down the button with your finger and hold it down.

8. Find the button marked "C" and hold it down as well, while also holding down the CTRL button.

9. Do you see a window marked "Controllers?" Good. From here, you can select what buttons you want to use to play your games with.

10. From here, go into your father's office. If he's not in there, rummage through his top lefthand drawer. Do you see a revolver? Good. Pick it up, point the barrel end at your left eye, then gently pull the trigger. If dad is in his office, proceed to the toolshed and perform the same operation with a nail gun.

Now, you can play Bubble Bath Babes in peace.

[ultra perfect cell]

I tried to set my own controls but it didn't work.

[Gurlugon]

You must not have a keyboard, then. Go buy one.

[Emu]

It's probably cuz you skipped step 10. Did you skip step 10?

[ultra perfect cell]

No, I've got a keyboard. I just don't know why, but when I've set the controls and clicked OK, the button I assighned for start didn't work.

[Gurlugon]

Well then, use a different emulator. This one obviously doesn't like you a whole lot.

[ultra perfect cell]

Emu, why don't you try step ten. Wouldn't it be simpler if you just told me the controls?

[Emu]

No, because for one I don't know them, and two I'm Über-l33t and use a GamePad Pro so I don't need no pussy keyboard shit >:

[Supafly345]

Wasn't Nester a character from a comic in the old nintendo power mags?

[Ghost of Fraiser]

Yeah, he had his own videogame too I think.

[executioneer]

here lies nester

-willie

[Supafly345]

http://hn.iodized.net/c/03.jpg
Entertainment at its finest. These jokes are legendary.
http://hn.iodized.net/c/03.jpg

[Ghost of Fraiser]

Didn't the guy who does Howard's Voice die in like 1995?

[Perndog]

Howard had a voice?

:lol Nester didn't even know how to get through Zelda.

[Supafly345]

I guess you didn't read the animated comics that came in the $17.95 version of the magazine.