My sex dreams are always upsetting

[Esuohlim]

My dreams always suck, but every once in a while I get a sex dream that has the potential to be, like, the coolest dream ever. It never works out. Especially the last two occasions, which are the ones I can still really remember (since one of them was last night and all :()

The first one was from like a month ago. I was making out with someone totally hot in a restaurant or something (?). All of the sudden we decided to do it right there. We got ready, I entered her, and all of the sudden I got sucked in completely and started falling into nothingness until I woke up, which seemed to never end.

Last night, I was at a mall electronics store which was completely barren except for a shelf with five games from the late 80s. I just walked in, and the next thing that happened in my dream was me having sex with the girl working behind the counter. Then I decided to go down on her (BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERATE AND ALWAYS THINKING OF HER INSTEAD OF ME ;)), and her vagina had the smell and taste of really sour milk.

In short, I'm kinda acting weird today around the female gender because of this. Weirder than usual at least. :(

[ProfessorCool]

your growing up :lol

[FartinMowler]

eat a banana before you go to bed but don't suck on it first :/

[brandinoel]

sounds like u have a fear of sex u should hire a Prostitute and face ur fears.

[Esuohlim]

Shut up.

Shut up.

And shut up, you filthy whore.

[Pee Wee Herman]

Milhouse, Are your dreams very often like this? Do you often have cool sex dreams turn out very badly a lot, or is this an isolated incident?

[ProfessorCool]

Shut up.

Shut up.

And shut up, you filthy whore.

do i get the shut up with the filthy whore at the end :)

[Esuohlim]

I've never had a sex dream that didn't turn out bad. I've had some pretty cool make out dreams though. :(

Professor Cool, we'll see. >:

[ProfessorCool]

We'll see? Well then fuck you Mr. I can satisfy women even in my dreams.

[Esuohlim]

They...they don't really smell like sour milk, do they? :(

[Pee Wee Herman]

VIRGIN ALERT

[Esuohlim]

NO 'CAUSE I GO TO NO VIRGINS ALLOWED.COM ALL THE TIME SO I'M CLEARLY NOT ONE OR ELSE I WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO GO :rolleyes :rolleyes

[ProfessorCool]

They...they don't really smell like sour milk, do they? :(

Smell is one thing, taste is a whole diffrent story ;), i hope that answers your question.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

eat a banana before you go to bed but don't suck on it first :/

I snarfed milk this time...damnit. I will never read this board while drinking again...:(

[CaptainBubba]

They all smell and taste like sour milk or urine saturated V8. And if you throw up while tongue caving, the pussy will spit acid at you.

The scars stay for life.

[Helm]

I entered her

fag

[thebiggameover]

They all smell and taste like sour milk or urine saturated V8. And if you throw up while tongue caving, the pussy will spit acid at you.

The scars stay for life.

:lol

[Anonymous]

I'm going to have to go with Helm on this one.

[Comrade Rocket]

Yeah, ive had some freaky ones too. I had one dream were is started fingering a girl and i could see my finger through her eye, it doesnt sound so bad but i was freaked out for like a month.

At least your not as bad as Salvador Dali. He had a dream were his mother ate his penis. It scared him off of sex untill he was married. Thats why in a lot of his early paintings he had pictures of Vaginas with Ants crawling all over it.

And I went down on a girl whos vagina smelt like a dead animal. i almost threw up.

[Matt Harty]

Yeah, ive had some freaky ones too. I had one dream were is started fingering a girl and i could see my finger through her eye

LOL

[Esuohlim]

I entered her

...with extreme care as to not hurt her, may I add. :posh

[Skulhedface]

The WORST part about sex dreams is the fact that you never FINISH one.

If I receive a grant to go to medical school, I will specialize in finding out, exactly why, all sexual or sexually related dreams schedule your climaxes around 9:32, when your alarm goes off at 9:30.

Though, I suppose I know a simple answer: So you don't have to wake up and wash your sheets.

[AChimp]

I had a sex dream once, but when looked again it was Protoclown laying beside me. :(

[Rongi]

DID YOU KNOW:

That when you're dreaming about flying, you're really dreaming about sex :eek?

[Skulhedface]

So if I dream I'm Superman....?

[Supafly345]

When you dream you're flying it means you are sleeping on your limbs and can't move them. Everyone knows that.

[agroskaterik]

When i was a kid, i had a dream about falling, and i woke up on the floor. :eek

[Rongi]

So if I dream I'm Superman....?

That depends if you're flying or not.

[Skulhedface]

Yea, I fly when I'm Superman.

A more curious question, though...

What if you dream you're Superman, but instead of flying, bullets bounce off your chest?

[Helm]

It's time to wake up, clean the semen off of your chest and tell your boyfriend this wasn't very funny even when he tried it for the first time.

[kahljorn]

One time I had a dream I was witnessing the apocalypse. best dream ever.

[Big McLargehuge]

HEY GUYS WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOU HAVE A DREAM ABOUT YOUR PENIS AND STUFF >:

[Rongi]

Helm made me laugh.

[Skulhedface]

HEY GUYS WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOU HAVE A DREAM ABOUT YOUR PENIS AND STUFF >:

It means you will wake up without it.

[Spastic Colon]

Yeah, I had one of those jizz-inducing dreams before. For me the experience was extra scary. I was just lying in bed when all of the sudden I look to the right and I'm in bed with a GIANT SPIDER. I looked away and looked back expecting it to be replaced with an eight armed woman, or at least a smaller arachnid. But instead I got God's joke. When I looked back I saw a woman with sticks hanging on strings from her arms with mickey mouse size gloves on the ends. She had her way with me while her arms flailed about the room, breaking my valuables.

I suppose this means I should be a polygamist... a gay polygamist.

[Emu]

:) That was a good story.

[Spastic Colon]

Its just like in Big Fish. If I ever have kids, then I'll tell them that story all the time until they question whether or not I was making it up and walk out on my on my death bed (same bed I was coceived in).

[Esuohlim]

NEVERMIND GUYS, I HAD ONE THAT RULED LAST NIGHT http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons_classic/smokin.gif

It involved someone I know in real life who's really hot. We were working at a library that offers nothing but shelves after shelves of Garfield books. Then all of the sudden she was lying on a bed naked right by a shelf. "Hey, how's it goin'?" is the only thing I said before I started to nail her. It was complete with her fake orgasms and everything. It was sweet.

Then we decided to go to the movies, where there were fifty rows of seats and a TV-sized movie screen showing Star Wars. We sat in the row with the most people around us and started making out and making a lot of noise, but the people around us were staring at us and clapping their hands to a beat or something. That's when she stopped, said "It's time to get ready" and put a helmet on. I did the same, and then I was piloting a jet all of the sudden and shooting down fighter jets. Everytime I shot one down I screamed "BITCH".

It was the best dream ever. :(

[Matt Harty]

Sex and fighter jets, i'm jealous. :(

Shit mine was about running. I need to quit track. :(

[Esuohlim]

I just read my dream description again and realized that it doesn't sound half as great as it really was. I would seriously be happy if I had that dream every night for the rest of my life, played out exactly as it was every time. :(

[AChimp]

I had a dream about going on a shooting spree last night. :)

[Helm]

I had a dream where I had a fight with some friends while I was out in the country and I decided to walk the way home to the city. It would take me 4 days to go back on foot, so I decided to suddenly develop Hulk powers and jump the distance home. It was an awesome dream.

[maggiekarp]

I had a dream where all my teeth fell out.


It was 9-something before I remembered it was a dream :/

[Rongi]

I had a dream that I could wish for everthing I ever wanted. All I remember from it was I had a fancy suit on and could fly at will. It was awesome.

[Spastic Colon]

I had a dream where all my teeth fell out.

had the same dream....GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

[Esuohlim]

Losing teeth dreams are common. :rolleyes

They mean your insecure or paranoid about something.

[jin]

I just woke up from a pretty fun dream. ;D

Last night i had a dream that i was piloting a load of vietnamese immigrants in a train carriage- only it was a boat and then i drove it over a waterfall and everybody in it died. >:

After i swam away to find this wonderful mansion in the most beautiful country-side, so i went in, only to be spotted and chased by a gang of cuban pirates. So I ran around a corner right into one of the pirates, and was surely a goner, except carson from queer-eye shot him multiple times before having a mental breakdown. :0

I took him over to a table on a huge stone column that was already laid out for a picnic, with some of my friends there already and we began to eat and be merry but then i looked over the edge of the pillar, only to see the other cubans had found the dead cuban and were suddenly resuming their searchwith more vigor, so i decided the best course of action was to climb up the side of mansion- which had inexplicably morphed into a massive medieval castle, complete with drawbridge and moat, only with the drawbridge located on the 6th floor. ;D

Just then the cubans spotted us, and with the AK's firing at us i climbed to the top floor and over onto the drawbridge and went inside the castle- only to discover the castle was full of the ghosts of the previous owners, and this beautiful lady was there who helped me throw hand-grenades onto the cubans and shoot the survivors, because they were "not of pure heart", and were after the treasure of the castle. :o

I then I discovered i was a ghost too and got angry because the entire chase and running was in vain, because i couldnt be hurt either way- So i ran to a different room with plans to take over the castle, which suddenly looked like a victorian manner, and i managed to kill all the other ghosts in the castle with a special spray and kept the treasure. :D

My dreams always weird me out. ;<

[goatwoodward]

I dreamed I went to a camp that was supposed to train people how to act. During the camp we were staying in one, big dorm room with bunk beds. To acclimate us to this, the instructor brought in a bathtub to use as a couch. She had 2 pairs of people in the bathtub at a time, one pair in each end. Most of the pairs were male & female, but there seemed to be more girls than guys. My pair was an enchanting green girl. She had bright green hair, nails, and eyes with a light lime colored skin. Her body was my ideal of female perfection. I had been thoroughly dazzled by the time we stopped talking and had decided to pursue her when I was helped out of the tub by a girl I thought was normal looking except for her interesting piercings. It first appeared that She had a tongue ring that had a flower label that stuck out of her mouth and a piercing in her cheek through which a surrounding flower was stuck. I then realized that she actually had two heads that faced each other and both had tongue rings with flower labels. She could provide the illusion of one head if she liked, but I was surprised to find that I did not mind the other head, in fact, I preferred it (the other head had no eyes, ears, or hair - just a nose & mouth). I was talking to her while we were supposed to be looking up a favorite quote for later that night. We were then directed up the stairs to get dressed. We had taken so long that the only outfits left looked like Raggedy Anne gone horribly wrong or a punk hillbilly. I dug through the ugly clothes just in time to find a short, pink fairy skirt, a matching pink shirt, and some gauzy pink wings that attached to the shirt. The skirt was a little shorter than I'm used to wearing so I pulled it down and threw on a long shirt over top of the outfit. One by one we were asked to show off our outfits and relay an appropriate quote. I was surprised to see a couple girls crossdressing and the hot green girl was nowhere to be found. When it was my turn, I whipped off the long shirt and showed off my fairy outfit. I still had on my short black skirt underneath as the outfit was fairly sheer, but promised to find an appropriate slip before opening day. Having talked through the quote-finding session, I used one from Family Guy and the other girl spoke in a language I did not understand for her quote. We were then milling around, looking at others' outfits and flirting heavily when I woke.

[liquidstatik]

jin's dream sounded awesome.

[Esuohlim]

I had another dream last night, but no secks. It was a supposedly romantic dream involving someone I used to have a crush on with kisses and everything, and I felt all happy when I woke up, then depressed later in the day, but now I just feel like a big fag for having the dream in the first place. >:

[The One and Only...]

I had a weird dream too. There was this one naked girl that I've met... we didn't do anything, and I really don't find her attractive at all... then, the dream went into this weird sequence, and it was sort of like I was fighting these guys using Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven game mechanics... only then, I saw another naked chick, a girl who I really like... and I woke up.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Were the chicks guys? :lol

[Matt Harty]

I had a weird dream too. There was this one naked girl that I've met... we didn't do anything, and I really don't find her attractive at all... then, the dream went into this weird sequence, and it was sort of like I was fighting these guys using Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven game mechanics... only then, I saw another naked chick, a girl who I really like... and I woke up.

Must suck to have your own dream girls hate you.

[Esuohlim]

I had another one last night :eek

My dreams rule now. :(

[Terra]

So go back to sleep.

[The Retro Kat]

LIEK, TERRA, WE SHUD SECKS SOMETIME SOON, LIEK, I SEARUSLY MEAN THAT

[Terra]

*Sigh*

[rainbowbrite]

I wanna secks you too.

And I think I have Priority over the retro kat cause of the avatar thingy. :)

[executioneer]

I still think it shoiuld be brown >:

-willie

[Terra]

Awww. You *do* have priority Rainbow! Always have! :) You were the first to come to my defense and therefore the secks is yours.

And executioner? I like the blue better! Or maybe green?

[The Retro Kat]

That may be true, rainbowbrite, but i have a much larger weiner so there no takebacks. BUT I DUN WANNA SECKS HER NEMORE, YOU CAN HAVE HER AND I HOPE YOU GET AIDS

[rainbowbrite]

:lol

[Terra]

:)

Thank you retro. Secks with you would have been like a bowel movement going bad.

For everybody.

[The Retro Kat]

LIEK, OMG UR BRILLIANT



I HOPE WEN U SECKS RAINBOWBRITE AND GIVE HIM AIDS N SHIT, WHEN U TOSS HIS SALAD YOU GET POO ALL OVER UR NOSE

[executioneer]

but brown would be funnier cause then it would be a shitstorm get it :(

-willie

[rainbowbrite]

LIEK, OMG UR BRILLIANT



I HOPE WEN U SECKS RAINBOWBRITE AND GIVE HIM AIDS N SHIT, WHEN U TOSS HIS SALAD YOU GET POO ALL OVER UR NOSE

:|

[The Retro Kat]

liek, omg willie :eek

[sadie]

shut up.

[The Retro Kat]

...bitch...




...yeah, bitch...

[sadie]

you're just pissed off 'cause nobody is all like i-think-you-look-cute-in-those-plaid-pants-and-shit.

[Terra]

Plaid pants??

Nobody who wears plaid pants even has a dick. No wonder he types in caps. I would too if I had *something* to hide.

Executioner? Yes. I get it. :) Brown *is* shitstormy. :)

[Schimid]

Are you fucking Tubesock?

[Esuohlim]

Thanks for turning this thread into the title under your name, Terra.

See, I can have a generic sense of humor too. >:

[da blob]

hardly a shitstorm - diarrhea puddle, at the best.

[The Retro Kat]

you're just pissed off 'cause nobody is all like i-think-you-look-cute-in-those-plaid-pants-and-shit.


Got me there. I would be happy if I just heard it once. :(

[Terra]

Thanks for turning this thread into the title under your name, Terra.



Gee. This was a serious thread?? This is page THREE for chrissakes. There is a rule about being able to sink a thread at page two IF the posts are serious but in this case your thread began going down hill at the second post.

But if it makes you feel better; awww shit man, I'm sorry.

There. Happy now? :) :) :)

[Matt Harty]

SHUT THE FUCK UP TERRA

[ziggytrix]

this morning i woke up around 6:30 and i couldn't remember what i'd been dreaming, so i went back to sleep and had too many dreams to remember, except for one where i met this cute girl and we were getting along just smashingly, til it was time to sit down for a lecture or movie or something and some absolute fuckhead sat next to her before i could.

so in conclusion, terra's first post in this thread was right on.

[rainbowbrite]

That's cause Tara's the smartest person alive :)

[The Retro Kat]

LEAVE FAGGOT

[rainbowbrite]

Awwe but I looooooooove you :)




>:

[The Retro Kat]

LIEK, OMG UR SO CUTE AND WITTY AND COMICAL...BUT U ONLY LUV ME CUZ OF MY BODY AND CUZ UR 1 OF TEH GHEYS, BUT I DUTN BLAME U

[rainbowbrite]

God I love this site. Especially the people on here.

[Anonymous]

Shut the fuck up.

[ziggytrix]

That's cause Tara's the smartest person alive :)

Do you actually know her, or are you always this big a kiss-ass to girls on the web? She certainly hasn't said anything in this thread to merit such praise, though I am not suggesting that she is unintelligent.

Sorry Choj, I know you want him to STFU but we both know it wouldn't have happened even if I hadn't asked him a rhetorical question.

[The One and Only...]

I like Terra because she's fun size.

Short girls are awesome. :)

[ziggytrix]

You mean that short girls are less intimidating, admit it! ;)

Few guys wants to say "honey, can you get something off the top shelf for me?"

[Anonymous]

My first girlfriend was at least 4" taller than me, but that didn't stop me from giving her the Olympic Slam ;<

[Terra]

Wow.

That almost sounds like a box lunch.

[Cap'n Crunch]

My first girlfriend was at least 4" taller than me, but that didn't stop me from giving her the Olympic Slam ;<

It's the Angle Slam now. :(

[rainbowbrite]

are you always this big a kiss-ass to girls on the web?

Yes..

[The Retro Kat]

LOO, I JUST THOUGHT U WERE A FAGGOT

[rainbowbrite]

But I like wemon :)

[Matt Harty]

OBVIOUSLY NOT :lol

[Karnage]

I've had several disturbing sex dreams... fucking a sausage grinder, mastrubating with iron knuckles, exploding dick...but my good dreams are wicked awesome. I had one where I was piloting a mech, and I was beating the living crap out of everything in the apacolyptic war that was being fought. Other mechs, animals, houses in my way... I destroyed all. Unitl this really hot girl I knew came on. She has dark eyes, dark brown (almost balck) hair, nice but and rack... she's beautiful. So then we started fucking, but that left the mech unpiloted. It took major damage, so I evactuated with her. Found a jetpack, flew somewhere quiter, and started fucking again. Then at the climax, me alarm beeped.

Damn thing never beeped again after I was done with it.

[CaptainBubba]

Thats really cool

[GADZOOKS]

Your more boring that a Jimmy Buffet CD.

Hell, cheeseburger in paradise is more entertaining that you.

[VolCanon]

I've had sex dreams but I've forgotten them all.

Women taller than me are cool. Too bad it's hard to find them (I'm almost 200 cm, something like 6foot3), so I end up going out with short ones.

[Esuohlim]

I had a dream the other day about BLOWING MY LOAD IN A TOILET.

I woke up bored I think. :(