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Topic Review (Newest First)
Jul 1st, 2008 12:27 AM
Copper I take part in an online survey site and most recently, it was about movies. They'd asked if I'd seen (or wanted to see) various shows and then proceeded to start asking me about box art for the Crystal Skull DVD (despite my having said I hadn't seen it.) I was actually pretty honest in my review of them and then it came down to "Would it make you buy this movie?" and several variations of that same question to which my answer was, always, "No." And then they asked why and I could honestly answer "Because I heard it was a bad movie." (Actual option for one of the answers.)
Jun 29th, 2008 12:33 AM
Mister Tea "But about the plot, as a man of science I find the plot of Crystal Skull far more believable and less wacky than magic rocks, a golden box of Jew magic, or a magic Christian cup."

An occasionally magnetic crystalline skull that taps into an extraterrestrial collective consciousness is more believable than religious artifacts? No offense, but what you wrote just made a good portion of my drink spray out my nose. Don't get me wrong: you have every right to pull the "man of science" card, but you also have a responsibility to follow it up something less retarded than that.
Jun 10th, 2008 02:09 AM
McFly I think one of the funniest things about the movie was the overacting on the part of Cate Blanchett. With the stereotypical accent, she reminded me of Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle. I was half expecting her to say "moose and squirrel" at any time!

Jun 10th, 2008 02:04 AM
McFly Indy was a little too sci-fi in this one. It was a little too much "Close Encounters" than what is usually found within the usual material. At least they did not have Harrison Ford make a mountain out of mashed potatoes.
Jun 10th, 2008 12:19 AM
HowardC For those of you who were expecting too much, let me remind you of three things.

1. Lucas's last film was revenge of the sith.

2. Harrison Ford's last film was firewall.

3. Speilberg hasn't done ANYTHING of note aside from producing since the jurassic park films.

This is a simple case of old guys thinking they can still run with the young kids when they can't. They've gotten old, so old that they've lost most of their talent. If you don't use it, you really do lose it.
Jun 6th, 2008 04:01 AM
pac-man
Quote:
I genuinely expected when the doors blew open that the blue shimmering ghost of Sean Connery would be standing there. And he say something hackneyed like, "Well done, Junior."
Jun 5th, 2008 02:18 PM
Shadowflux I was possibly a bigger fan of Indy than anyone you know. Hell I still have my Indy hat, I rode my bike miles just to play the Indy Arcade game, loved Young Indiana Jones, and i've spent hours trying to figure out The Fate of Atlantis. Having said that, I must say that I was a bit disappointed in the latest Indy film.

Sure, it was fun, it was like an Indy themed roller coaster. It had it's fun parts but interspersed throughout are scenes that made me go "Huh.....I'm not so sure about this". My doubts pretty much increased throughout the movie despite my efforts to quell them. I love Indy soooooo much that I really really really wanted to like this film. I tried really really hard and I had a good time but it left me feeling empty.

My main gripe with this film is it's scope. It's just not epic enough to be an Indy film. There aren't many different locations, we see mostly dessert, warehouse, campus, then South America for the rest of the film. It seemed far too confined, you could tell they were in a soundstage in front of a green screen. Indy needs to be filmed outside with real stunts, he's inspired by the classic pulp adventure heroes and he needs to be treated that way. Indy needs to be gritty, dirty and bloody. It's that same raw pulp action that makes the few comedic scenes work so well, the audience needs a break from fighting nazis on a moving tank tread. Even the PC game Fate of Atlantis had a more epic scope and feel to it than this movie.

The cgi took away from the ending of the movie because most Indy films are entirely believable up until the end. Other than a few things like never getting hit by a bullet, Indy never did anything that couldn't have been done in real life, until the end. That's what always made the end so amazing, here was this guy, brawling with nazis in the dessert who is eventually placed into an unbelievable setting. This is why Crystal Skull has a weak ending despite it's far out subject matter. In the first quarter of the movie we already see Indy survive a nuclear explosion by hiding in a lead lined refrigerator which is then hurled hundreds of miles away. At this point the audience says: "Oh, so Indy is indestructable" which negates any amazment at the other worldly aspect of the ending.

All in all, weakest of all the Indy movies including the Young Indy movies and Tv shows but still not as bad as it could've been given the state of Hollywood today.
Jun 5th, 2008 12:41 PM
Protoclown See that would almost be believable if you didn't include that bit about the Star Wars prequels.
Jun 5th, 2008 02:13 AM
THE MASTER I disagree with your review. I thought it was a great film with great acting and a great premise. It exceeded my expectations as did the Star Wars Prequels. But hey c'est la vie right?
Jun 4th, 2008 10:29 PM
pac-man You don't have to defend liking this movie. The burden of proof lies with the prosecution.
Jun 4th, 2008 10:23 PM
Relaxing Dragon Whoa, I'm late to this one.

I've already said I liked this one (couple times at this point). I went into the theater not knowing what to expect, and I had a great time. It was entertaining, it had several scenes I loved and want to watch again, it was enjoyable, and I had a good time. I'm glad I watched it. My friends (some Indy fans, others not so much) enjoyed it as well.

I also happen to suck at arguing my points (in this case, defending the above), so this is basically all I've got left to say. Just my opinion in things, nothing more.
Jun 4th, 2008 04:09 PM
Dr. Boogie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fear N Loathing View Post
Nick: I think this was a 'bridge movie' but unfortunately, they are going to use LeBeef as the "new Indy" AKA Indy Jr.
Don't even joke aobut that.
Spoilers!
Jun 4th, 2008 02:27 PM
Fear N Loathing Nick: I think this was a 'bridge movie' but unfortunately, they are going to use LeBeef as the "new Indy" AKA Indy Jr.

For this I cringe as the majority of 'young hollywood actors' today have the range and emoting ability of a 2 X 4. A fucking wooden plank has more personality than ANY of todays 'young stars'

IMO Ford was just going through the motions on this one to A) Earn a paycheck and B) Pass the Torch onto LeBeef and Co. My hope is that the 'passing of the torch' touches off a HUGE conflagration that leaves nothing but charred bone and dust behind.
Jun 4th, 2008 03:32 AM
Copper Yup. Cemented. Dollar theater.

Is it just me, or should Lucas have, like, a reverse statute of limitations on his movies? "Okay, it's only been 3 years, you can make another one in this series. Twenty? No. Out of the question." It seems like in trying to re-envision his franchises, he seems to distort that vision.

Who knows, I may come out of this liking it yet, but somehow I'm thinking it's not going to happen. In the meantime, I'll be treating my mom to "Journey to the Center of the Earth."
Jun 4th, 2008 12:13 AM
Riot.EXE I had meant to see this movie when it came out, but then I remembered that I hadn't seen the original trilogy since I was an extremely little boy (I am 24 now) so I wanted to watch the original three first before watching this one because NONE of the older ones are fresh in my head...I still never got around to it...but now I'm not too sure about seeing the 4th one. Can't tell if it's fanboy bitching or if it's genuine critique I'm seeing in these comments... (NO! I am not starting shit, I'm just sayin' I can usually tell the difference but this time I can't...)


I can probably already say this though...it's better than "WAR" and it's better than the film adaptation of "Jumper"
Jun 3rd, 2008 07:46 PM
Nick I just hope that this is a bridge movie, and that hopefully they will think up a whole new trilogy that comes up to par with the first three. I would love to see more of Old Indy, he reminds me of Clint Eastwood.
Jun 3rd, 2008 01:09 PM
Captain PirateFace Thank you for seeing my point Kirk2000.

One day my boy will be bitching about some crappy re-make or Sequel/prequel to one of his favorite "classics" from when he was growing up too...
It's called aging.

Life moves on brothers and sisters, enjoy the best of the good stuff and toss the bad over the shoulder.

or just stop going to movies alltogether and start reading books.
Jun 3rd, 2008 08:47 AM
Fat_Hippo I think everything bad about this movie that has to be said already has been, and there's precious little good to say, so I'm not going to go into a long rant about this movie, but simply say: yes, it sucks. Fuck Lucas.
Jun 3rd, 2008 07:14 AM
Lombaszko Right on Proto! I couldn't agree more with your review.
I get the feeling that the filmmakers were trying to make fans happy, but the way they tried to just didn't work. I can picture Spielberg and Lucas saying, "Well, we need to show Indy is an old man and vulnerable. Have him trip a little bit in this scene and be afraid of the snake in the sand pit scene. Phew! Glad we took care of that!"
All the interesting character bits seemed tacked on last minute, or in one scene added just to try and please us fans. The other three movies were so great because they showed how human Indy was throughout the entire story. It almost seems like Harrison Ford was playing Indiana Jones like a kid pretends to be Indiana Jones, whip, punch, save the day.

I agree with you Blackjack there was no need for Ray Winstone or John Hurt. Who fucking cares? Mutt was mentored by Hurt's character? So what? Hurt's performance was fine and everything but I found myself just not caring all that much. Even the plot of the skull, once they saved Marion I didn't care anymore. With Last Crusade Hitler was going to try and make an invincible army, and on top of that Indy needed to save his father who was shot. Ok, I'm interested and I care that he NEEDS to find the grail. Maybe I need to give Crystal Skull another viewing but "Russians getting knowledge" isn't a strong enough plot for me to care about.

Also, I read interviews where Lucas said that Kate Blanchett was a super badass and the ultimate villain, so I was pretty disappointed because she wasn't lame completely but showed signs of how good a character she might have been. I love when she gets flung onto the hood of the truck then turns the gun around and tried to blow Marion away. That was cool, show me more of that and I'd be happy.
Look at the Nazi guy from Raiders, he hangs up his coat and Marion shits herself.

Maybe as fans we expect too much, but they had years to work on this and I think it just comes up short. I know others are saying it's a serial movie and should be viewed that way, but I just can't. I think the filmmakers were too worried about how children would see the movie. These are the same guys who replaced guns in E.T. with walkie-talkies. So they added swinging monkeys and prairie dogs and had very little blood and guts. Who else was expecting Spalko's head to explode in a great show of blood and guts? Nope, we get CGI dust.

And I think that's a perfect critique for the film itself. All this wonderful buildup then it just blows away in the wind.
Jun 3rd, 2008 05:58 AM
Blackjack Bang on review sir, well done!

There's so much about this film which makes my blood boil, so I've had to narrow it down to three big gripes (SPOILER ALERT!)

IF there is one good thing about the film, it was the last scene, and although a bit of a death by CGI, it was simply breathtaking. A triumph of Industrial Light and Magic. Anyway, on with the fun:

Opening Act:
The first scene in the warehouse was a BIG mistake. It totally removes the air of mystery and ambiguity from the end of Raiders. Now when you watch Raiders again, you'll no longer be thinking "where is that warehouse? Is it the Pentagon? Are there others? Just what is in those other crates?" You won't be thinking any of those things anymore, because Cate Blanchett completely ruined the mystery for you in the first five minutes of the film. And besides, Area 51 just isn't that cool any more.

The Jungle Chase:
Apart from the fact it went on for about 45 minutes, it was CGI'd to hell. I got so bored watching Cate Blanchett and Shia LaBeouf trading blows at 100mph I found myself trying to spot the edges where the characters had been shoddily greenscreened in. And yeah, I don't remember Indy doing very much at all in that segment - now compare that to the epic "getting the Ark back from the Nazi truck" scene from Raiders, with the death-defying action sequences, but still much more believable because they were done with stuntmen.

Supporting Cast:
Just too many of them, not enough time to develop their characters. Oh yes, you need to cover your bases (Main villain and tough guy henchman, love interest, action sidekick). But was there any real need for Ray Winstone and the legendary John Hurt? Sounds like Lucas saying "hey, the audience love an English guy. Cool. But wanna know what's better than an English guy? Yeah... TWO English guys! The toughguy Russian was a wasted opportunity, and Cate Blanchetts motivation was confusing - was it for Mother Russia or a personal quest for knowledge?

My Two Cents:
Screw it, they should have made Fate of Atlantis into a film instead. And in 1992, not 2008. You've got all your bases covered - historical myth, exotic locales, love interest and sidekick, villain and henchman, Monte Carlo, Nazis, U-boats, dungeon crawls and an epic ending. Hell, even if they made it in 2008 they could have adapted the plot to Russians searching for Orichalcum to make bigger nukes, far easier to relate to than the whole throwaway mind control plot thing.
Jun 3rd, 2008 02:44 AM
Poxpower Someone should just slap the computers out of Lucas's hand.
"NO! NOOOOO! BAD! BAD LUCAS! GO PLAY WITH YOUR PUPPETS".
Jun 3rd, 2008 02:25 AM
pac-man What pisses me off the most is that Proto couldn't give us this review until now. The more I think about it, the more I want my money back.
Jun 2nd, 2008 08:03 PM
Nick I enjoyed the movie while I was in the theater, but when I actually thought about what I had just seen, I noticed it was a great let down. I cry for Indiana. :C



ps: I miss Sir Sean. :c
Jun 2nd, 2008 05:44 PM
Funky Fried Chicken I genuinely expected when the doors blew open that the blue shimmering ghost of Sean Connery would be standing there. And he say something hackneyed like, "Well done, Junior."

Personally I thought the actors were all amazingly good for what they had to work with, it's just a pity that the plot and the dialogue were as bad as they were. And yes, I agree, the gophers were like going to a meal and when you sit down seeing through the doors to the kitchen and watching a chef take a big dump in a pot. You know that whatever comes next is not going to be pretty.

Oddly enough my mom's only complaint was that they weren't playing the appropriate music in the Peruvian scene. That's Mexican music! she yelled at the screen. This from the lady that shushed the seven year olds in Prince Caspian. God I love going home to watch movies with my little sister and parents.
Jun 2nd, 2008 05:26 PM
BigMac500 I personally felt that as a movie itself, "Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull" was quite good, but as an Indiana Jones film, it didn't quite cut it. The whole movie was full of extremely improbable events, but if you let your common sense go and enjoy the ride it isn't too bad.

I'm happy with thinking of it as a completely different movie, set aside from the first three.
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