Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber > Stupid Injuries
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Thread: Stupid Injuries Reply to Thread
Title:
Message
Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.


Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

Topic Review (Newest First)
Aug 31st, 2010 05:23 PM
Tadao This place is great for sociologist.
Aug 31st, 2010 04:54 PM
Kitsa Although if the sentence had been "Most recently, I was carving my girlfriend [with a knife]..." around here, I wouldn't have been at all surprised.
Aug 31st, 2010 10:00 AM
Zhukov
Quote:
Originally Posted by StuntDouble View Post
-Most recently, I was carving a keychain trinket for my girlfriend [with a knife]...
It's not often you see romance like this around these forums.
Aug 30th, 2010 05:08 PM
StuntDouble I'm surprised I made it through childhood without any major brain damage (debatable) and only a couple of minor broken bones. Seems like most of my injuries are self inflicted though:

-Riding my bike with some friends, I decided to take a shortcut through a grassy field. I was really cruising when I found a hole with my front wheel. After a brief impression of Superman, gravity made me its bitch again, and my bike and I landed in a rather impressive heap. Thankfully I just had some scrapes and bruises from that one.

-I was helping my theater class take apart a set, when I came upon a rather stubborn 2x4 brace above my head. I gave it a good yank and it smacked me on the bridge of my nose. When I woke up, I was still standing up and holding my nose. I thought I was fine, and then the blood started gushing from my nostrils. I was able to get the bleeding to stop, though my nose still remains a little crooked today.

-I decided to use one of my sharpest knives to separate a couple of tuna steaks. While I held them in my hand. Knife split the steaks, and nearly split my pinky. My hand still goes numb if I hit that finger wrong.

-I was standing in the back of a truck at work while we pulled into our parking lot. The person driving swerved kind of sharp, and instead of going right with the truck, I went straight. I flew over the side of the truck, and landed palms and elbows first in a shell parking lot. That's probably the first time I thought I was going to die.

-Most recently, I was carving a keychain trinket for my girlfriend and I slipped with the knife I was using. I sliced lengthwise into my thumb, cutting almost to the first joint. I also shaved off a bit of my thumbnail in the process. 7 stitches later, and my thumb is doing great, even though one side is a bit misshapen.

I'm sure there are many more, but those are the most memorable ones for me.

Chris
Aug 21st, 2010 07:51 AM
MrAdventure hi im mraventure
Aug 20th, 2010 07:26 PM
LordSappington When I was eight, my bike came to a sudden stop; I hit my face on a handlebar and got a laceration an inch from my left eye.
In metal fabrication class a kid lit my arm on fire with a torch.
Also in that class, I was focused on splicing some wires, dropped the soldering iron on my arm, and didn't notice for ten seconds.
Then, a couple years ago, I was riding a ripstick down this huge hill, and hit a rock at 30 MPH. I remember having just enough time to think 'Shiiiiiit' before I tumbled twenty feet. I still don't know why I didn't even sprain anything.
Aug 20th, 2010 07:16 PM
Tanuki
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrAdventure View Post
one time i cut my dick into a labia so i could jack off to some real pussy guess what now im pregnet
Aug 20th, 2010 07:13 PM
kahljorn
Quote:
burning the tip of my thumb pretty well. Turned into a big blister.
ONE Time When I WAS SMOKING A BUNCH OF METH ON MY BIRTHDAY I COULDNt FIND WHAT WAS LEFT OF tHE PUDDLE AND ENDED UP BURNINg mY FINger BY THE TIME I FOUND It
Aug 20th, 2010 04:40 PM
Fathom Zero

Oh yeah, and I'm a burn victim!
Aug 20th, 2010 01:11 PM
Chojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrAdventure View Post
one time i cut my dick into a labia so i could jack off to some real pussy guess what now im pregnet
Aug 20th, 2010 09:03 AM
Zhukov Nice work R2-Scrote2.

In an exam I dropped my pen, bent over to pick it up and hit my face on the desk, it didn't hurt too bad but I said "ow" out of habbit. People laughed.
Aug 20th, 2010 08:47 AM
Tanuki Oh! I forgot my stupidest injury yet. (Actually, it may at least compete with the cat one.)

I was just waking up, and my phone alarm was going off. My dresser is right next to my bed. I went to reach over to get my phone and slammed my eye into the corner of the dresser, giving myself a black eye.
Aug 20th, 2010 07:19 AM
MrAdventure one time i cut my dick into a labia so i could jack off to some real pussy guess what now im pregnet
Aug 20th, 2010 02:35 AM
R2-Shane2 I think this is maybe my second post ever on this board, but might as well get this story out of the way.
My dad had been trying to exercise more after his heart attack, so him, me, my brother and sister were out riding bikes. We passed some girls and me and my sister were talking to them then I started yelling that we were better at bikes then them, I turn around and talk to them as they pass us. Not paying attention, I run into my sister in front of me, fall of the seat and rack myself on the bike. It really hurts so I get off and try to walk it off. I checked and my scrotum was cut and bleeding sort of badly. I had a pretty bad cut on my scrotum, I was bleeding pretty badly though it wasn't that deep. I went home and washed my balls with peroxide and rubbing alcohol scared to death of an infection, and spend the next several weeks terrified of an infection or losing a testicle.
Aug 19th, 2010 11:13 PM
Perndog I tried to light my sock on a fire at a party. It wasn't working, and I was moving the lighter all over trying to find a spot where it would catch. I ended up turning the lighter all the way upside down with the flame on and burning the tip of my thumb pretty well. Turned into a big blister.
Aug 17th, 2010 08:04 PM
Colonel Flagg
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pentegarn View Post
What I now want to know is....

What brought you to the point where you thought, "the appropriate thing to do now is piss in my neighbors house through the mail slot."?
Dude did you miss the frozen piss story? It's the same thing, just warmer.
Aug 17th, 2010 06:29 PM
Pentegarn
Aug 17th, 2010 03:54 PM
RaNkeri I was just marking my territory to let other males know that she belonged to me
Aug 17th, 2010 03:23 PM
Pentegarn What I now want to know is....

What brought you to the point where you thought, "the appropriate thing to do now is piss in my neighbors house through the mail slot."?
Aug 17th, 2010 03:10 PM
RaNkeri Cat scratched my d*ck when I was taking a piss through my ex-neighbours mail slot.



Should've used frozen instead
Aug 17th, 2010 02:41 PM
Colonel Flagg Ah ... the old "focus is where the sun's rays meet" trick.
Aug 17th, 2010 02:38 PM
MLE I was driving somewhere and had just gotten a cold bottle of water from 7-11. Apparently, the sun was at exactly the right angle, and the bottle, that I was holding between my legs, was at the right angle and distance from my leg. The sun shone through the bottle like a magnifying glass, and I ended up getting burned just bad enough that there was a red mark for several days.
Aug 17th, 2010 01:59 PM
10,000 Volt Ghost
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsa View Post
I'm not ever supposed to ride a bike, but one time my grandmother gave me one and I lost control going down a hill and reportedly skidded like 10 feet on my face. My nose looked like raw hamburger with bits of gravel in it. I was knocked out cold and apparently a car almost ran over me before they saw me and stopped and called for an ambulance.

Given what else is wrong with me, I have no idea how I survived that but the skin on my nose came back, freckles and all.
Freckles are tough like that.
Aug 17th, 2010 11:36 AM
Kitsa man, you and your piss
Aug 17th, 2010 11:34 AM
RaNkeri I was able to stab myself with a knife that you shouldn't be able to stab yourself with when I was trying to separate two slices of frozen gluten-free toast.



Should've pissed on them instead
This thread has more than 25 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:28 AM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.