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Oct 21st, 2009 12:58 PM
professork Ah michael bay...I don't mind so much that you raped my childhood (I liked transformer toys but never really got into the cartoon that much)...nor do I mind that you foisted megan fox into the spot light (she has big breasts, it was bound to happen)...nor am I particularly upset about the upcoming freddy remake (I'll say it now and take my licks...after freddy 1, he annoyed the living shit out of me)...but what really pisses me off is that every single one of your mind fuckingly tedious shit heaps of movies makes more money than all the rest combined, and that you constantly prove that old adage "nobody ever went poor underestimating the taste of the public"...because of you and your ilk, and society in general there are so many decent films and scripts that will never get greenlit because how can they compete...its all spectacle, there is nothing beneath the skin...so now I have to put up with my nephew (who I dearly love) forcing fucking transformers down my throat all the goddamned time...fuck you, michael bay, fuck you
Jan 6th, 2009 07:19 PM
choHIlqoq Slaggin' Bayformer Gobots.
Feb 1st, 2008 09:57 AM
JakeOfAllTrades I saw it with some immature buddies and enjoyed it then, because I wasn't a hardcore fan of Transformers, ever. I liked the idea of Transformers better than the show itself, and my brother has an Optimus Prime without flames on it in his room (it's the Anniversary version of the TV show Optimus). I agree, American Piesque humor has no place in a movie about Optimus Prime, but at least they didn't make it completely serious and just plain awful instead of a one-watch summer blockbuster.

But there's bad news for other franchises of yore: Michael Bay is said to be remaking the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. That would just be a crime!
Jan 27th, 2008 06:38 PM
BurntToShreds It has some other another thing going for it: It's not a 30-minute toy commercial.
Jan 27th, 2008 04:39 PM
BurntToShreds I really wish a lot of you people would take your Nostalgia Goggles off. Seriously. And Neen: I actually think that show has potential. Starscream blew up Megatron in the very first episode. It already has Grimlock and the DinoBots, and Grimlock has a flaming sword. And Soundwave? He has a guitar. Which transforms into Laserbeak.
Jan 16th, 2008 07:49 PM
Tetsu Deinonychus
Originally Posted by D-MoN
What I think most people forget is that it's a summer, popcorn, action movie
I just want to point out that I really HATE"summer, popcorn, action movies".So, I don't see how that's much of a defense. I mean if that's what you like, enjoy. But, to me, it just seems like the exact reason not to bother with it.

To Protoclown:
Don't worry, you're not alone in hating this movie. Wes at Scary-Crayon wrote a very scathing review, himself. I think you'd enjoy it. You can also check out the accompanying Blog-entry for more thoughts on the movie.
Jan 16th, 2008 12:45 PM
Hurude I went to see transformers with my girlfriend and her two younger brothers, i was very apprehensive but I hoped for a nostalgia trip,

What a shower of shit,

I was so angered by the film I couldn’t resist giving the two-finger salute to Michael Bay's name at the end of the film, something I shouldn't have done in front of two children.

I suppose in that way it did revert me back to being a kid again.
Jan 16th, 2008 11:21 AM
jayberwocky Thank you Protoclown, thank you for finally putting into words what I've been feeling about this movie.
I went with my brother to see this movie, and he loved it while I sat through it cringing and groaning at all of the crap that we as an audience were expected to just "take." Does anyone really believe that if a car just "shows" up at a car dealership that the dealership owner will just sell it outright? No questions? You don't want to see the title, registration, anything? Really? After seeing this I will never park in a dealership to browse cars again. My car'll be sold out from under me and I'll have to buy another car with shattered windows...
Jan 16th, 2008 08:13 AM
D-MoN Actually I always found Sabretooth to be one of my all time favorite villians. Namely because when you hang around with bikers and shit in real life he comes off as all to believable. No long winded speaches, just kicking ass and taking names. I was a long time reader of the X-Men. Even the shitty writings of Chris Clairmont couldn't scare me off.

As for X-Men being balance? How? I need to know HOW. Apart from Wolverine and Professor X the remainder of the X-Men were reduced to bit parts. Now the sequal did it a bit better despite the fact that I was drunk one night and caught an episode of Mad About You that was more X-Men then the first X-Men movie.

X-Men and Transformers actually have a lot in common except for the fact that X-Men sucked. Apart from that, Transformers had.. well.. A-10 Tank Killers. Those plains are so fucking cool and that avenger cannon is just really cool to watch! And it had Abrams tanks and Predator Drones and.. OK enough drooling over military hardware. At least Transformers was written with some level of understanding of the source material at hand. X-Men couldn't even be bothered. WHERE THE FUCK WAS WOLVERINE'S MASK?! Ahem.. sorry.. anyway Transformers was better because at least it was believable and Shia LaBouf was genuinely funny and entertaining which is more than I can say for any of the cast in X-Men barring Professor X and Magneto.

What I think most people forget is that it's a summer, popcorn, action movie and yet so many of the hardcore fans went in expecting Waiting For Godot. Like somehow, in those fractured, virgin minds, Transformers was the modern equivalent of Shakespear. It wasn't. It never was. The concept was borderline stupid but it worked out cool because we all liked the cartoon and toys but it was hardly gospel. Essentially the movie delivers exactly what the cartoon did only with more whiz-bang. Unfortunately those who are even bigger nerds than me will never comprehend that because to them, every stupid, redneck cliche Ironhide uttered in the original series is like divinity made cheap japenese animation.
Jan 16th, 2008 01:20 AM
Desert_Screams Peter Cullen voicing Optimus Prime = much excellence.

Everything that wasn't the above = much eye-stabbage.
Jan 15th, 2008 11:34 PM
saturnknight they called wave "frenzy" because the concept of spundwave wasn't working out, so they changed the name. they're planning on using Soundwave in the 2009 sequel. and aparently Devistaor as well
Jan 15th, 2008 07:14 PM
Protoclown D-Mon: I never said anything about the characterization in X-Men; I said that X-Men was a good example of how to balance a large ensemble cast. X-Men has its flaws, but I actually find it enjoyable despite them, and I'd take it over this garbage any day. And as a long time reader of X-Men books, I can assure you that Sabretooth doesn't amount to much more than a growling ape in the comics.

And Megan Fox is alright, I guess, but she looks kind of average to me. Certainly nothing to write home about, and in no way capable of coming anywhere close to redeeming that shitbucket of a movie.

Autrach Sejanoz: I had wondered if perhaps I wasn't being too generous by giving it one whole pickle, but then I considered the fact that I have seen worse. So it doesn't quite belong on the bottom of the barrel. Close though. Damn close.

I've enjoyed reading everyone else's thoughts on the movie as well! Based on the kind of response I've seen and heard on the internet, I figured I was in the minority on hating this one. Glad to see that's not the case.
Jan 15th, 2008 06:38 PM
Jonny#5 My biggest gripe about this movie is that it's impossible to make out what's going on. It's like watching NASCAR!
Jan 15th, 2008 04:19 PM
stonewar A bad review from a trusted source, read the synopsis on TheMovieSpoiler.com. I guess I can take it off my Netflix queue now.
Jan 15th, 2008 01:42 PM
Fluke Mediocre at best. Didn't make me gag too much but easily forgettable.
Jan 15th, 2008 01:15 PM

A shitty show, based on a movie, based on a show, based on a toy line, and in the style of Teen "Fucking" Titans

Ah, ha ha ha!
Jan 15th, 2008 01:12 PM
ponchochris The movie wasn't bad because it was a big advert or a storyless constipated-looking-giant-robot orgy, it was horrible because THEY TORE JAZZ IN HALF! I cried. Alot.
Jan 15th, 2008 11:53 AM
D-MoN Yeah they did suck but they were entertaining. I think that's why I liked the movie. It had lazers and robots that looked somewhat realistic. I think it was just that old school fans couldn't accept the fact that the cheracter designs really fucking sucked. I can prove it.
Jan 15th, 2008 05:24 AM
executioneer the transformers suck, you guys

they always have
Jan 15th, 2008 03:44 AM
Jaimas I'd give it a solid 1.5 Pickles, since it's not done by Uwe Fucking Boll.

The movie focuses entirely too much on the wholly unlikable protagonist and his useless accessory female counterpart. Had they merely focused on the giant fucking robots - hell, keep the damn marines as well - the movie wouldn't have suffered so much fail.

But noooo, we have fecking silly robot hijinks, Bumblebee urinating on someone, and miscellaneous stupid crap in such gargantuan numbers that it boggles the mind. Hell, there are extras in this movie with more screen time than Jazz.

Micheal Bay needs to be shot. In the face. With a crowbar.
Jan 15th, 2008 12:53 AM
Autrach Sejanoz Protoclown, I honestly thought you were going to give this a 0.5, consider your hatred for Michael Bay.

Compared to the cartoons, this well and truly sucked. Any movie that has Linkin Park in it's soundtrack immediately sucks in my book.

And to all those who are defending it because of Megan Fox (Who fully deserves her last name), just download naked pictures of her off the net like everybody else.
Jan 15th, 2008 12:44 AM
Entreri21 Fuck the robots, I watched this movie for the palpable sex dripping from Megan Fox...

Oh who am I kidding, I teared up when Prime transformed for the first time. Then threw up during the "hiding in the backyard" scene.
Jan 14th, 2008 08:57 PM
EndersGame The one thing i couldnt stand beyond the savage product placement (i.e. XBox-bot, the Mountaindewinator, and the Nokia Death-bot) was the pathetic, rushed attempt to have a love story meshed with a robotic battle for the sake of humanity.... "omg im so hot" "omg your so hot" "omg i used to watch my dad steal cars" "omg i hate you and everything stand for despite the fact that ive been swooning over your fucking vagina for the whole movie" "omg just because i used to steal cars doesnt mean im not still hot" "omg your right, hold my hand while giant robots and blowing up everything in sight" "i love you" "ROBOTS!!!"
Jan 14th, 2008 08:44 PM
whoareyou I gotta say as much as I love the originals I also like this movie. I think it works as a movie. As far as the non boxy look, look at cars. The cars in the 80's were boxy cars now are more streamlined. The "my bad" line, they learned english through the radio and internet, the originals used slang from the time and so do these.
Jan 14th, 2008 08:20 PM
Madman914 Honest to God I was a big fan of this franchise. Then I saw the movie. Now every time I even hear about this movie or the franchise I have to punch a baby. After reading this article alone 5 infants got suckered.
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