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Oct 5th, 2010 09:05 PM
McClain OP, just as an FYI, a "thumbs up" by an Afghani was the likely equivalent of a middle finger.
Sep 21st, 2010 08:22 AM
Zhukov at everyone.
Sep 21st, 2010 06:27 AM
Pentegarn That last story would make a good comedy sketch that would offend half the population and make the other half laugh uproariously
Sep 21st, 2010 01:03 AM
Evil Robot I once heared a story about a private who was talking to what he thought was an indian call center while he was in combat. His patrol searched the dead and captured taliban only to find a cellphone with his name in the call history. The operator he was talking to was one of the taliban soldiers shooting at him in the firefight.
Sep 21st, 2010 01:00 AM
Evil Robot I remember when I was a soldier, sitting on hold while bullets flew past us overhead. You would try to enter your zip code while artillery shells rocked our vision, I couldnt even se the numbers. And then the was private johnny, he sat on hold with his cable company for six hours while the taliban shelled his humvee. He later lost his hearing and got brain cancer from all the cell phone radiation.
Sep 20th, 2010 10:34 PM
Shadowdancer21b Directv has some good things and a whole lot of bad things. They source out their customer service to cubicle farms. I was once one of those damned souls.
Sep 20th, 2010 06:12 PM
Pentegarn Tell them "That's fine, because I will now be canceling your shit service in about 4-6 hours"
Sep 20th, 2010 11:15 AM
10,000 Volt Ghost I ordered directv and was referred by a friend so we should both get $100. So for 10 months they take $10 off each bill. After my first months bill the discount isn't on so I call and find out why. They transfer me around to different departments for 10 mins. Finally they tell me that I don't get the discount because I signed up online. I let them know that I talked to someone on the phone that I called. This goes on for 40 minutes. I ask for a supervisor because by this time I've spend an unreasonable amount of minutes getting nowhere. The supervisor gets on and tells me I'm no eligible for the discount because I called the wrong phone number to sign up for directv. I tell the supervisor that I called the correct phone number and gave the correct acount number of my friend.

After another 20 minutes of her trying to get me off the line she told me she will escalate the problem. Someone would contact me by phone within 4-6 weeks.
Sep 20th, 2010 09:26 AM
Colonel Flagg Oh, the carnage that would ensue if retail workers packed heat.
Sep 20th, 2010 01:14 AM
MLE I agree with Kahl.
Sep 20th, 2010 12:01 AM
kahljorn THEMILITARY AINT GOT SHIT ON RETAIL
Sep 19th, 2010 11:57 PM
Shadowdancer21b We have a saying in the Army: BOHICA. Bend Over Here It Comes Again. I think that anagram alone taught me a lot about life.
Sep 19th, 2010 11:35 PM
kahljorn INSTEAD OF MANDATORY MILItARY SERVICE TO HELP SHAPE PEOPLE UP AND PREPARE THEM FOR THE WORLD AND MAKE PEOPLE goOD CITIcENZ/WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY SHOULD HAVE MANDATORY CUSTOMER SErVICE JOBS Where YOU MAKE ONLY MINIMUM WAGE AND GET TREATED LIKE SHIT BY IDIOTS AND YOU HAVE TO SMILE WHILE THEY DO IT.
THAT WILL PREPARE YOU FOR LIFE.
Sep 19th, 2010 09:05 PM
MLE MLE: 1
Shadowdancer21b: 0
Sep 13th, 2010 06:33 PM
Shadowdancer21b Hilarious. I have stories of customer service hell, but I'll not share them. I'd rather sulk in the corner nursing my wounded pride.
Sep 13th, 2010 06:23 PM
Pentegarn Speaking of call centers....

My friend ordered one of those 11" Alienware laptops from Dell. So about a week after he orders it, the order gets canceled. So he calls Dells 'support' and asks why his order gets canceled.


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Yes I see the trouble, your order was canceled by dell.com.

Friend: I know this, I want to know why it was canceled.


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Hold please while I find out


(10 minutes on hold later)


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Yes your order was canceled by Dell.com


Friend: We have established this. Why was it canceled?


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Hold please while I find out


(10 more minutes on hold passes)


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Yes your order was canceled by Dell.com


friend: I want to talk to your supervisor


(20 minutes on hold later)


Outsourced call center supervisor with Indian accent: How may I help you?


friend: I want to know why my order was canceled.


Outsourced call center supervisor with Indian accent: Yes your order was canceled by dell.com



This goes on a bit longer and he finds out he turned off his land line phone and that sets off a flag with anything you finance until your new phone number is updated into your information that the creditors have.

After hearing this story, I tell my friend, "Well and good, but why after the 3rd 'your order was cancelled by dell.com' did you not tell them, "listen, you tell me 'your order was canceled by dell.com' one more fucking time and I swear i will call Pakistan and give them the launch codes"?"
Sep 13th, 2010 02:09 PM
Colonel Flagg
Quote:
Originally Posted by MLE View Post
TRUE STORIES FROM THE CALL CENTER CHRONICLES:

One time this lady was on my line because she hadn't paid her bill ("I JUST PAID YOU ASSHOLES TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW YOU'RE SHOVING YOUR STINKING GREEDY HANDS BACK IN MY POCKETS AGAIN I HAVE TO CALL YOU EVERY MONTH COME ON NOW STOP SENDING ME BILLS AND GIVE ME FREE CABLE".) Normally this would have just been one of maybe three calls a day that I get like this, but she was abnormally rude and had profanity diarrhea of the mouth. When she got to a point that I had to start "Ma'am"ing her, she eventually said "And WHY you call'n me MA'AM?! MAH name's vahLENcia."

It took me every ounce of control I had not to call her Ms. Orange.
Far too interesting.
Sep 13th, 2010 01:57 PM
Dimnos Yeah. I demand to be fluffed.
Sep 13th, 2010 12:36 PM
Tadao You call that a story? You got to the point in the first sentence. Where is the long drawn out fluffy boring parts?
Sep 13th, 2010 11:29 AM
MLE TRUE STORIES FROM THE CALL CENTER CHRONICLES:

One time this lady was on my line because she hadn't paid her bill ("I JUST PAID YOU ASSHOLES TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW YOU'RE SHOVING YOUR STINKING GREEDY HANDS BACK IN MY POCKETS AGAIN I HAVE TO CALL YOU EVERY MONTH COME ON NOW STOP SENDING ME BILLS AND GIVE ME FREE CABLE".) Normally this would have just been one of maybe three calls a day that I get like this, but she was abnormally rude and had profanity diarrhea of the mouth. When she got to a point that I had to start "Ma'am"ing her, she eventually said "And WHY you call'n me MA'AM?! MAH name's vahLENcia."

It took me every ounce of control I had not to call her Ms. Orange.
Sep 13th, 2010 12:31 AM
Chojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blasted Child View Post
For a piece this short
Sep 12th, 2010 07:20 PM
Shadowdancer21b So the narrative was over-dramatic? Okay. I'll try to fix things for later stories. That is, if anyone would be interested.
Sep 12th, 2010 05:50 PM
Blasted Child Yeah, I definitely read it. The slideshow stuff was gripping.
I don't know if this is the right place if you want c&c, but I'd be perfectly willing to offer some, I just don't know what it is you've written.
1. You say you have a story to tell, but this isn't really a story, it reads more like a journal entry or a part of a novel. For a piece this short, you need to focus on something. Are you gonna talk about the horrors of war, or your personal disappointment for not getting to do real war-stuff, or what is it? The fact that someone made you move rocks or other quasi-tasks isn't enough to constitute a story; it's a rather trivial event that probably happens to everyone doing military service.
2. Drop most, if not all, of the army jargon. I know it's there to make it sound authentic, but it comes across as military aficionadoism at best, and generally there's just too many abbreviations and fluff to be readable.
3. Cut the clichés. As The Leader said, it reads like a bad war novel, and could be taken for a parody rather than a serious try. The ending just sounds pretentious.

But then again, the slideshow part was gripping. I think you should focus on that and give a personal, honest account, and stop pretending that you've just written the war novel of the century.
Sep 12th, 2010 05:37 PM
The Leader
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadowdancer21b View Post
Also, did no one see the bit about the land mine victim slideshow? That was kinda the point of the story....
Oh, sorry. I kind of forgot about it because there was no focus at all.
Sep 12th, 2010 02:42 PM
Fathom Zero I read it. Good stuff.
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